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How long to wait after first herpes outbreak to have sex


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I am 22 year old female and I was recently infected with herpes and have had my first outbreak for about two weeks now.


I also just started seeing someone who I've been friends with for a few months and am now romantically interested in. I informed him that I have herpes and he was so accepting and kind. I am so thankful that he accepted me but I'm worried about knowing when it's okay to have sex.


When I look down there, everything looks fine. However, when I saw my doctor she said she could still see a few tiny red spots/bumps. Even when I look now I can't see them. The fact that I can't recognize these tiny sores makes me nervous about accurately identifying when I am having a very mild outbreak. The only thing I notice is a mild itch.


So can I have sex if there are no sores but it is itchy down there? Will it be itchy for a long time since I've just recently been infected? Note: I plan on using condoms and I am on a daily anti-viral since my partner is negative for herpes.


This is a really fast turn around time to be diagnosed with herpes and then be starting a new relationship. Please advise me if I am rushing into having sex. I don't want to put my new partner at risk.

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As far as i understand the virus so far, youll want to wait a couple days ... 3 to 10 days after an o.b.

if u feel itching, or a slight tingle, or anything like that (aka prodromes), i would avoid sex for a few days untill those feelings go away. As the virus is present when u feel these prodromes. Note that when u feel a prodrome, that doesnt always mean ur about to have an o.b. but it can be a warning sign of one comming on.


For example, i was a lil itchy sunday evening and monday. That uncomfortable feeling was gone yesterday, but i want to wait untill at least fri night or sat night for sex. (So im waiting 3 days after prodrome), im on daily suppressives as well as my bf is negative.


If you want, you could try taking L-lysine when u feel anything happening. I take 2x 1000mg 3x a day when i feel prodromes/have symptons and it helps me. Lysine doesnt work for everyone tho.


Good luck and hope this helps!

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Well, given you are very recently diagnosed, I would take things slowly for a month or two simply because your body has no anti-bodies to the virus so you will be more likely to have Outbreaks and asymptomatic shedding...and you don't know what your prodromes are yet (which are the warning system that you may be shedding and may have an OB).


At the same time, you are in a very new relationship ... so this will be a great excuse to take things very slowly and really get to know each other. There are plenty of things you can do to explore intimacy with each other.... and in the end you will have a *better* sex life... ;)


We like to say Herpes makes a great Wingman ... it helps you to slow down new relationships and so you are your partner actually see each other without the smokescreen of hormones that comes with the early sexcapades ...which creates a stronger foundation in the long run :)


How long it will be itchy varies from person to person. Hopefully your body will get things under control quickly...there are a lot of things you can do to to help your body to get things under control ... you can try L-lysine (1000mg/day) and any of the suggestions in the links below. By attacking the virus on the outside, you can help your body to beat it down on the inside.








Links to some of the items suggested in the links

http://tinyurl.com/pmosahc Link to Alum






Regaring condoms ... remember they are only useful if they cover the area where you get your OB's :) Definitely don't have sex till the itching is gone - if it doesn't let up - get to your Dr and get checked out for a yeast infection... they are not uncommon in early Herpes diagnosis :)




Handouts + disclosure e-book:



Herpes facts video
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Of course its tempting! Alot of things in life bring curiosity and temptation, one thing ive learned with having h, is when my bf and i need to wait a bit, the temptation grows stronger, the want is unbelievable, and then ... when that moment comes, when u know uve waited a safe amount of time, your sexualy senses are sooo intensified that it makes the waiting worth it! .... kinda like waiting for christmas to open ur gifts from santa... haha


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Use the time that you can't have "normal" sex to find other ways to be intimate.... get some toys, massage oils, erotic books, videos, etc and explore each other ... get to know what really turns each other on ... you can still have orgasms via other methods ... or stop and let the energy build up for when you *can* have sex. Or try other things like Tantric Sex.


You can google "non-penetrative sex" and get lots of great ideas... :D



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Okay so here is my next question... Before I mentioned how my doctor still noticed tiny tiny little red spots that I could not even see. The sores are not opened and I think they went away before they ever turned into anything more like a full blown herpes sore. If those red spots are there but I don't notice them and then have sex, what are the risks of transmission? I realize that there is always a risk but what is the relative risk to when I am not having an outbreak? I'm just worried that I will miss when I'm having an outbreak and then put my partner at risk.

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There's no way to really tell - the red spot could be an old sore that is healing, or a mild OB, or something completely different.


Risk of transmission Female-Male for HSV2 is about 5% ... for HSV1, probably 1-2% without any anti-virals or condoms (H1 sheds about 1/5 as much as HSV2 in the genital region).


Condoms and antivirals reduce the risk by about 50% each (tho condoms aren't much good if your OB is outside of the area covered by the condom :p )


Good hygiene and making sure you don't do anything when EITHER of you has a sore (ie... if your partner got rubbed yesterday, take the day off today - because that sore is an open highway for the virus to get in.). :)

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