How do you forgive yourself?

[whitedaisies]

It's coming up on one year...had a real tough go physically with oral hsv1 and ghsv1 which really affected my emotional health.

 

I am physically feeling a bit better...emotionally trying to heal. I am stuck a bit, I think my depression is a way of punishing myself for letting my guard down and getting herpes. I don't know how to forgive myself.

 

Anybody have any words of advice.

 

The thought of having this my whole life is really just too much to take in especially since it affected my health so bad....

 

I am having a hard time finding myself in this heap of a mess.

[Findinglight]

Don't be so hard on yourself you're not alone there's soo many people in the world going through what youre going through and have gotten through it remember that , You still have to keep pushing forward herpes is not you and will not be the end of you , there's still a beautiful life out there waiting on you to Live it. don't let the thought of you having h stop you from being happy don't let it consume you ,your thoughts create your reality use them wisely and respect your power. You still have a lot to do and other things in your life that need you and your energy , use it for something positive and productive:) Everything will be just fine look you've already made it almost a year now ! Things can't be so bad , and if they are they will get better for sure ! I hope you find the strength and find peace in yourself sending love positive vibes your way :)

[WCSDancer2010]

Now that you are feeling a bit better, I suggest that you find something (preferably non-H related) where you can help others. Volunteer somewhere doing something for others ... it will not only help you to take your mind off things (and put the remaining thoughts into perspective) but you will have the gratification of helping someone who is worse off than you.... I think in your particular case, this may be what you need to find yourself again ...

 

This kind of life challenge is often where people find their "Life's Purpose" ... and now that you have the physical stuff under better control, you can look towards how you can use what you have learned about yourself to help others who are struggling in some way or other....

 

You are a far more powerful person than you know right now.... when you get up tomorrow, I want you to look in the mirror and tell that person that you see what you would tell any friend who came to you with your story .. tell her OUT LOUD how beautiful she is and how much she has to contribute to the world ... and how you are going to be there for her every step of the way. Then go out and do it. When you do this, Herpes will pale into insignificance ... promise :)

 

(((HUGS))) friend :)

[whitedaisies]

Thanks ladies for the vibes and the hugs

 

[caterpillarmonarch]

When I first found out, I went to specialist with a huge list of questions. One of them was "How do I cope with this?" which was really "How do I not destroy myself over this?" When I asked, I began to tear up in the eyes (unusual for me).

 

The specialist looked at me with a look of compassion that I will never forget and said, "Sweetie, this isn't your fault. This doesn't mean that you are promiscuous or that you made a mistake. You just got unlucky. I have women who come to me that have had sex once, just once, and contracted it. And herpes doesn't discriminate based on race or income; I have women in here of every race and that have more money than you could ever imagine, they all have herpes. You didn't do anything wrong, the odds are what they are and you just happen to have drawn the bad odd."

 

I hope this helps you as much as it did me.

[whitedaisies]

Thanks!

 

I am trying...

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Hi whitedaisies,

 

Just listened to this Tedtalk and thought it might help to provide some perspective.

 

Keep trying until you get there, and believe that you can, because you will.

[whitedaisies]

Wish was as positive as you.

 

But seeing more glimpses of hope

 

Xo

 

 

[whitedaisies]

Thank you everyone for your supportive words, I think I had a revelation tonight...actually I know I have and I hope it remains clear to me for days to come.

 

It is so much easier to have clarity when one is not in physical pain....as pain passes, the mind and heart have time to play catch up.

 

I am still scared BUT I forgive myslef and I share the responsibility with my partner instead of holding it all myself which is a more balanced approach and allows me room to focus on other things. I hold no blame however, just responsibility of choices....the choices that lead me to herpes.

 

And even though I really wish I didn't have it, I hope it forces me to focus on my life and how I choose to be fulfilled in it. I am worthy of it.

 

Thank you all

 

Xo

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

YES!!!! Print this out and put it on your mirror so that when your brain decides to try to sabotage your happiness, you will be reminded what you can come back to :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[whitedaisies]

I am very talented in the self sabotage dept lol.....

 

Hugs!