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Goodbye, and thank you

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I just got my blood test results back. IgG negative. 3 months ago and up until this very day I really was convinced I had it.

I don't feel any different, my life hasn't changed whatsoever, really. My nuts feel just the same as they did when I thought they were itchy (maybe I need looser jeans). But at the same time, it changes every facet of your life. I couldn't joke around like I used to, I couldn't talk to girls (or guys) like I used to, and I couldn't be as carefree as I used to be. I was living in a shell, constantly in fear at the prospect of somebody even mentioning the word 'herpes' to me. Frightened that my reaction would set off the suspicion that I was 'infected.' Frightened that somebody was going to run up behind me and yank off my pants exposing the sore, while everybody around me pointed and laughed. In any situation, in the back of my head I thought "I have herpes, and they don't" Naturally, this gave everybody an upperhand on me and made me feel completely and utterly alone.

Over time, I got better with it, and started to settle into the idea that this is my life now. For you newbies, yes, it does get better. This website has helped me so much. I was literally on here everyday, and I've come to find some beautiful, awesome people have herpes too.

At the end of it all, herpes has taught me one valuable lesson: to love myself everyday. Herpes or not, you have to love yourself. Herpes is what you make of it. If you give into the stigma and think it's a big deal, everybody will take your word for it and you're life's gonna suck.

It will force you to take relationships slowly. Personally, I would never slip into bed with somebody with herpes for a one night stand. But after this experience, I wouldn't with anybody anymore. But take it from me, love is love. I'd be foolish to reject a woman I loved based on her status. And anybody who would is either just ill-informed or stupid. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there; the problem isn't that you have herpes, the problem is that nobody really knows what herpes is. It's a mental condition more than anything.

You guys deserve much more. I'll help spread the word and let people know how overblown this condition really is. I'll help relay the facts to those to scared to open up. As I leave this community I say to all of you "thank you." I'll be out here doing my thing, and along the way, changing the stigma and increasing awareness so you don't have to live in that hole society has dug you.


Keep on fighting the good fight



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