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Dating a woman with herpes type 2

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First of all I thank the creator of this website for bringing so much information to the community.


I have no heard about any of the struggles people suffer when they are diagnosed with Herpes.


Since I know this is a site to support people with the virus, I ask your permission to post a question since the person affected is not me, is someone that started dating recently.


She has type2, and I was wondering, I have cold sores pretty often so I am assuming that I have type 1, since my doctor told me I was going to get cold sores for life due to a immune deficiency in my early twenties... I am 42 now.


The question itself is, lest say In the worse case scenario.. I perform oral sex to her.(no dental dam). and she transmit the type 2 to me,

these type will appear as a cold sore or will travel to my genitals?

I know this could sound like stupid question, but honestly I have not clue of how this works...


I want her to be happy and have a fulfilled sex life .. she really is a wonderful person

thanks for any support you would like to share with me.



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As she has the stronger virus (type 2) she is resistant down there to your type , and oral type 2 is very, very rare.


The virus cannot travel from oral to genital, or vice versa, within your body.


Your concern, as far as oral activities, would be kissing her as she can still catch your HSV1 orally. Her HSV2 does not protect her for that, unless I am misinformed.


Obviously you can also contract HSV2 genitally from her, so condoms and antivirals are recommended.


I'm sure your partner is appreciative that you come here to educate yourself. No questions are too stupid to be asked here. It's the general lack of knowledge which creates the stigma around (genital)H.

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I'm pretty sure (like 99% sure) she can still get genital HSV-1/you can still get HSV-2, but it may be less likely; however, one of the more veteran posters will drop in and clear this up for you. She can get it orally as well, but assuming she is in her 40s as well, she has likely already been exposed in that respect. Oral HSV-2 is very rare; 1% of oral H cases are HSV-2.


The virus stays in the location in which you contracted it, UNLESS you autoinoculatw yourself. Let's say you contract HSV-2 from intercourse with her. The virus will only be on your genitals (or anywhere in the boxer short region most likely, depending exactly where the virus found its way to you). It will stay there unless you were to, for example, scratch a sore and then touch another part of your body that has a break in the skin or something. As time goes on and you build up antibodies, there is less chance of autoinoculation. Anywaayyy...

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Thank you very much to the two of you. It really helped me to understand this better.

I hope there were more information out there and less freak out miss info.

It gets confusing, and at one point some people make it look like the end of sexual life for people with H.


Thanks again.


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ok. so there are 2 types of H and they generally live in 2 areas. they don't especially like the other area. in order of occurrences, H1 orally, H2 genitally,H1 genitally,H2 orally.

H2 orally is the rarest form and doesn't present a whole lot as its not its preferred area. they can be cross transmitted, ie if you have oral H1 you can give it to someone genitally thru oral sex, if someone has H1 genitally they can give it to someone genitally also.


however, when a person has 1 type of H it does give some protection against the other with H2 giving almost immunity to h1 ( according to terry warren) it would take special circumstances and lack of precaution for it to happen. ie, you are having an active OB and perform oral on your woman who just shaved and cut herself and your ob gets on the cut, maybe, she gets your H1 genitally.


generally people who have both strains obtained H1 first ( in childhood usually) and H2 later. sometimes the immune system just gets overwhelmed.


so if your girl has H2 genitally and you have h1 orally then barring an active OB on your part with open sores, cuts on hers you should be fine. both of you staying in good health and taking suppressive helps even more. (and really, if you have an open sore on your mouth and or she has one down there are you really going forward with the sexy time??)


that's my understanding of things. there are some vids about oral sex and H.


so proceed with care and use common sense.


im sure other will chime in here. I don't have a holster full of links to add.

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Hey Pilar,


Awesome that you're so proactive in getting the facts about herpes. Shows high character and integrity. Check out these links in addition to what's been said so far. They'll help you understand all of this better.






http://eepurl.com/b4IPP - e-book + handouts with all the facts


Herpes facts video:



  • My mother is now in hospice with end-stage cancer, so I am at her house a lot these days helping where I can until she passes. Thank you in advance for understanding if I am not as quick to respond as I normally would be. This is a precious and bittersweet time …
  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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Glad that @Adrial got those links to you .... one point -


Odds are you didn't get oral H because of your immune system ... it's just something that 60% of all young people get before adulthood and 80% of us have by the time we are 50...


You just need to take the precautions mentioned for BOTH of your safety so you don't give her Genital HSV1 and she doesn't give you Genital HSV2 .... but that's just a great excuse to learn other ways to be intimate and to deepen your communication so that you both feel free to tell the other when you may be having an OB or prodromes. Use the "opportunity" of herpes to strengthen your relationship .... sounds like have a great thing going on already so it's just a matter of creating an even deeper connection through transparency and vulnerability :)


Good luck to you both! Hope to hear great things from you in the future :)

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