Urine retention and chronic soreness after 3 months

[Getbetter111]

I can pee and have no sores. When I feel I have to pee that's been very often lately feel irritation in the track and kinda dribbles like I don't have full control.For the sensitive skin I was thinking about asking this next specialist I go to for Zostrix it's for pain from shingles but read your not to put on mucus membrane? I think the head of the penis is considered one? We have not had sex cents before thanksgiving due to my wife's ongoing issues that were told it was not H retaliated.She had BV Uti and now possible yeast we will know more next week.it just doesn't add up that her spots show up that everyone saying isn't herpes and all these other problems after that one time of sex.This has been more than I can take lasting this long it's not showing any sign of letting up.it is ripping a young promising family apart.If we were better we could make love and get over it but with us not able to is taking its toll. With a new baby there is no time for any other experimenting we are married and no what we want.not sure what to say I am very depressed not sure if I will ever feel like myself is killing me. and not making living enjoyable.

[MMissouri]

Have you been to the doctor since diagnosis? I'm just wondering if any of your wife's issues could have been passed to you? The symptoms you describe doesn't strike me as a side effect of H. Yes, it would be considered a mucous membrane, and you stated it was for shingles. I don't think that would help you at all.

 

Surely your marriage is based on more than just sex? Why can't you use this time to just enjoy your new baby or make a stronger bond with each other? Or.. if it's been that long and it is putting stress on the marriage, why couldn't you do something like mutual masterbation? It wouldn't take any longer than intercourse? It's all about your outlook, and if you refuse to see any good in all this, you will continue to be depressed. Life can be enjoyable with H and your marriage can be stronger depending on how you both choose to address this. It really isn't the end of the world. I promise.

[WCSDancer2010]

I'm with @MMissouri....

 

While I know that sex is a great part of a relationship, if not having sex is tearing you apart, maybe you need to look at the relationship a little harder. I *personally* would say that your issues go a LOT deeper than not having sex. You said you messed around with a sex worker, so I am guessing that there was something going on before the baby and Herpes came along. As I have said to you several times, it sounds like you need to get to a couples therapist (and maybe a personal therapist as well) to get to the bottom of the REAL issues between you.

 

And sorry, I don't buy it that you "don't have time" with a new baby to learn other ways to pleasure each other. I've had 2 kids and my ex and I found lots of ways to get intimate in between diaper changes and naps.... Like MMissouri said, it's all about your attitude.You can choose to stay in your (quite frankly) victim mode and keep seeing all the bad of what has happened or you can choose to learn from it and grow from this experience ... Yes it sucks. Yes it's frustrating. Yes, not having sex for 3 months is not your idea of a good time. But you can CHOOSE to use this challenge to make the relationship stronger or you can BLAME IT for tearing you apart. Believe me, Herpes is NOT causing this rift. Herpes just forced things to the surface. I really hope you will get help with your relationship and personal issues ... it's definitely easier to blame Herpes for everything ... looking at your part of a failing/struggling relationship isn't fun (as they say, The Truth will set you free, but first it may well piss you off!) but in the end you will come out of it a stronger and better partner :)

 

Have you had your prostate checked... a full feeling and dribbling pee is often a sign of an enlarged prostate. It could also be stones. Bacterial Infection. Yeast.When you go back to the Dr you need to INSIST that they SWAB your urethra and get to the bottom of things because retaining urine will eventually cause a UTI....

[Getbetter111]

Thanks dancer! I just read other peoples story that had ongoing uti that had blood and white blood cells in them but no bacteria and ended up being H.My wife took meds for uti and BV said she felt some better but when she finished the discomfort comes right back.same thing that the other ladies said in there blog. We are waiting to her back what is causing this from urine sample if there is no bacteria then what else could be causing this besides H ?

[Getbetter111]

Just as I figured no bacteria.how can this cause so many other problems besides sores?

[Getbetter111]

We would be able to get passed it if we could just feel normal.Its just slapping us in the face with her not feeling good and kills and scares the hell out of us.that we don't really know what's going on with her. She has a dull pain in back and yellow discharge again.

[WCSDancer2010]

I hear your frustration ... so for right now, just try to support each other ... and I'm afraid you will just have to keep going back until you get a satisfactory answer ... why don't you go with her to the next appointment and advocate for her ... let her feel SUPPORTED by you that you are being the man and standing up for her.... and perhaps the Dr will start to look at all the options for her continued issues ....