Just stressing this week

[cclife90]

Hi 27 y/o Female. I was diagnosed this past Sept. I was in a state of shock and devastation for 2 weeks straight. Never thought this could happen to someone like me. Finally I got up the nerve to talk to my ex-boyfriend; the person I thought was my giver, turns out he wasn't. Honestly after all of the info I've read I could have had it for years. I get tested for "everything" at my yearly doctor's appts but I can't recall if H was ever included before. Everyone in my life knew something was wrong but I couldn't bear to tell anyone else. My ex decided to tell my best friend about it, he was extremely concerned because he knows how I bottle things up and really hate talking about my problems. Both of them have been so great and supportive, I'm kind of a lucky girl..... with my friend choices that is.

I feel like I'm starting to get over my H diagnosis it's just hard to look on the bright side some days. The thing is I just can't stop being so mad at myself, I really should have known better. I learned all about STI's and how to treat them in school. I guess I just overlooked the statistics....oops!! I really should be glad because things could be worse. H is really just a mild skin condition. Although I get a little tingle or itch pretty much daily so I'm constantly concerned I'm about to have another full on outbreak. I feel like maybe daily suppression meds might be a good idea to help ease my mind. I just worry because I can't think of a way to get meds without a bunch of my friends finding out about my "skin condition" (have a bunch in the medical profession). It's been stressing me out a lot lately ahh!!

I don't know I guess I'm just looking to vent to people who know what I'm going through. Thanks for reading :) xoxox

[WCSDancer2010]

@cclife90

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

So why would your friends have to find out about the meds? Go to Planned Parenthood in another town if you need to... I bet you can even go to one of the online Dr's (yeah - they exist - google them!) to get the script because the drug isn't under any kind of restriction.

 

Certainly suppression helps some people to calm down and get back to some normalcy if they can't get the symptoms to stop... so try it!

 

And cruise around here as much as you can ... lots of great info that may help you to feel better on the days you are down :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[cclife90]

@wcsdancer2010 thank you for the suggestion! I never really thought to look for online doctors. I never thought I'd have a reason to go anywhere but my regular doctor :/ Oh and I plan to keep cruising the site, this place has been so helpful for me. Hope you have a lovely day and thanks again!! :)

[fairlyme]

@cclife90 I'm new here too and have the same issue as you! I just found out that is have the virus and have gone on the suppression meds (just to be safe). It's been hard for me too. I feel very isolated from the world and my former life. I'm 28, and I would love to find someone to connect with, as a friend.

[wordup]

@cclife90. @fairlyme

 

Welcome to the forum! I am a 25 year old male who found out I had HSV2 about 2 months ago. (just before my birthday and xmas lucky me!!)

 

Initially I went through all the classic stages of anger, fear and the whole "why me" and constantly questioning myself. Like most people, I didn't really know much about herpes, I knew it caused "sores" but that's about it. I totally wish I knew more about it before hand. But I didn't. Oh Well! I don't beat myself up about it, or get mad at myself because there is no point. It's done, now you must move forward and focus on the positives in your life. Why waste your time and energy on being so frustrated with yourself. It's not worth it.

 

As you said! it's a minor skin condition. I wake up everyday thankful I can walk, talk, eat, see and even type this message with my fingers! Amazing right? Although I am not "over the moon" I have herpes. I say to myself "sheeeeet, if herps is all I get in life then I am a happy man"

 

Life is to short to stress over something so little. I was hanging out my washing during the night yesterday (gets hot in Melbourne, Australia :p) and I looked up at the stars and laughed. I laughed at how small we are and how insignificant herpes is. I looked down at my hands and wriggled them around.. amazing I thought. I then walked back into my house thinking damn life is good. It's good because I am alive and well.

 

I am a social worker and I work with people who have horrific injuries that have caused them to be bed bound, acquire brain injuries, blindness and spinal chord injuries. These people would trade my life with herpes in a second.

 

Herpes is only as big as you make it.

 

As for getting jiggy with someone and getting into a relationship ...

If someone rejects you because you have herpes, it is not meant to be. Let me tell you why. Sure herpzzz is contagious, but the chances of you passing it on if you take the right precautions (suppressants, condoms) and being in tune with your body, are highly unlikely. Yes there is a small chance there. But as this site states, use herpes as your wingman. The trust you will find with the person who accepts you for you will be the most positive experience to come out of having herpes.

 

 

[fitgirl]

@wordup

AMEN!!! that is exactly what this forum needs to hear. We need more men to speak up, you have a voice and its important. you have clearly "arrived", thank you for being a male voice of reason and contributing positive energy to those who are working their way back to reality.

[wordup]

No worries @fitgirl - I will be around from now. Always down on helping others realise that HSV2 is not the end of the world. It's the start of appreciating everything and everyone around you.

[ivoryrain]

Hi there!

 

Suppressive therapy may be a good option for you to get you through the next couple months. There are plenty of ways to disguise your medicine. Take the label off, put them into an empty OTC bottle (just make sure no one mistakenly uses it!), hide it in a drawer or a separate pocket in your purse, etc. You can always say you have bad oral OBs that require medication since the medications are the same. But seeing as your friends are in the medical field, they've probably seen it all and wouldn't think anything of it. If they would judge you, then they probably aren't very good friends.

 

As for being angry with yourself, cut yourself a break. I was furious with myself because I knew about STDs, my mom has HSV-2 and warned me, and I have was inconsistent with condoms because I have a latex allergy. However, I didn't have all the facts I needed, and I could've taken every precaution possible and still contracted H. Being angry with yourself doesn't change anything. At the end of the day, you still have H, so why waste energy being angry?

[cclife90]

@wordup thank you so much I really needed to read that!!! Everything you wrote is so true. I have so much to be thankful for and need to stop stressing about H. It's hard not to get bummed out about it sometimes. I really do need to stop being mad at myself, there's absolutely no point in it. I'll try to remember that when I'm having a bad day. :)

@ivoryrain Oh gosh my roommate is always getting things from my medicine cabinet, she would totally end up taking a dose or 2 of Valtrex if I tried to put it in an OTC bottle lol. I think I am going to go on suppressive therapy and just ignore any judgement that might come my way. I will try to cut myself a break, I tend to be my own worst critic so that might be a little difficult.... H really isn't a big deal, some days that's kind of hard to remember. It helps so much to come on here and read all of y'alls awesome words of encouragement and advice. Thanks sooo much!!!! :)