Disclosing to someone

[brittyo]

Hi guys! It's been forever since I've been on here, I've been doing pretty good with the whole deal- but im back for a little advice! Okay, so Saturday im going to disclose with a guy I've been hanging out with for awhile now, he seems to be a very genuine guy(hopefully).. Im wondering he once told me has impetigo, he himself blatantly told me "it is a form of herpes" and I've researched it, a lot and came up with lots of different things on it. What is the life cycle of impetigo vs Hsv-1, and information on that If anyone knows? ALSO,(im so sorry im needy today) how to bring it up? I am thinking of just casually being like.. " Remember how you told me you had impetigo, and it's a form of herpes- well I have a form of it too, but they're both not big deals..." And then go on into detail about my specific Hsv? I guess this is all hoping he doesn't walk away from me right then and there? Sos, please help:)

[brittyo]

Anyone....?

[fitgirl]

@brittyo I am here :)

 

I was thinking through your situation.... I don't have the info about impetigo but I do know that HSV is for life and can be transmitted at any time the virus is shedding or you have an outbreak.

 

The reality is, most people in this world have hsv1 or have been exposed to hsv1 whether they know it or not. I think your plan to use a relatable virus is a brilliant one. The casual approach is ideal actually. It shows that you aren't taking thing more seriously than you need to but also suggests you are mindful and care about transmission.

 

Oddly enough, hsv1 seems to carry less stigma and I would venture to say that many (if not most) people with hsv1 orally don't even think about it and certainly don't disclose. It sounds like this guy is a pretty cool cat, the fact that he told you about the impetigo (I am not even sure that is how you spell it but whatever :)) says a lot about him. I can't guarantee it of course but based on the fact that he told you about it tells me that he is a stand up guy who isn't afraid to communicate about this stuff. Put yourself out there..... tell him in a relaxed way. afterall, 80% of the population has hsv1 whether they know it or not. He may have it already too :).

 

Good luck, be cool, be strong and be proactive. And let me know how it goes ;)

[brittyo]

Thanks! I was beginning to think no one wanted to talk to me lol! I was reading a few other posts in here trying to get some more knowledge crammed in, and one of the moderators was saying there is little known evidence of even transmitting the ghsv-1 genital to genital I think if I read it right, so that's more good news. This is so stressful! But thank you so much, I'll keep you updated:)

[Bslydell]

You not alone. I'm currently talking with an ex-girlfriend and Im in the same situation. I want to tell her, but I'm afraid. However, I'm going to get it out of the way. I have not told anyone I'm my life. I don't want to be judged. Good luck, keep us posted.

[brittyo]

Lots of my friends know, they're all so interested in knowing, more and more about it! So @bslydell tell someone it'll be so much better to have a friend to talk to about it! Even if they're not romantically into you!

[brittyo]

Heck if you want I'll be your h buddy!

[fitgirl]

@Brittyo and @bslydell at the end of the day, you have to be open and honest. You have to have acceptance of yourself regardless of where (or if) you have herpes.

 

There are so many men and women in this world who don't judge and will accept you for all your imperfections. You have to start by accepting and loving your herpes self :). You will teach people how to treat you. As a whole and complete person with a minor glitch :).

[fitgirl]

I have been H+ for many, many years. It's a challenge at times... when you meet someone you want to be intimate with but I can assure you, risk it all!!! some will reject you but I can guarantee that those people wouldn't have been the "one" anyway. Look at herpes as your most perfect relationship filter. It will help you find authentic love.

[WCSDancer2010]

@brittyo

 

I'm out of town this week with limited access to the internet so I'm behind schedule... ;)

 

Impetigo is a BACTERIAL infection usually found in children that LOOKS a lot like HSV1 ... if your guy says it's Herpes he's likely confusing the two issues and he likely actually as HSV1 orally (aka Cold Sores). Impetigo is treated with antibiotics and can be cleared up ... HSV1 can only be controlled with anti-virals.

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/impetigo/basics/definition/con-20024185

 

Assuming I'm correct here, then he will have *some* immunity to it already ... and with the fact that GHSV1 doesn't transfer as easily (outside of times with an OB) it shouldn't be a big deal for him anyway ... ;)

 

I agree about the approach - I'd say you did some research, and you understand that Impetigo is a bacterial infection and does he mean he gets "cold sores" which ARE the herpes virus ... if he says yes, then tell him you have the same one down south already ... I'd have the handouts from here ready as well as a printout from the link I gave you ... and if you want a few more ideas, go check out the success stories too - they are a great resource for inspiration and ideas :)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Herpes facts video

[brittyo]

Thanks everyone, today is d-day, and more scared than ever, can barely control my emotions anything and to top it off im at work :(

[Bslydell]

Well how did it go? Hopefully well!

[brittyo]

It went amazing actually! I will post a success story in that category:)