wanting to die

[shocked80]

I just recently found out I has hsv 2 positive in Dec 2014. I feel like my life is over. I went to the after hours clinic with symptoms of a uti, vaginal irritation and a yeast infection. When I went I and the dr seen me she said it was herpes. There were a couple blisters I didn't see. I had flu like symptoms as well as bad siatic pain. I was given meds that helped with that ob. I asked my obgyn to prescribe me something to take daily to try and suppress any ob's. I was on valtrex 500mg a day and at first it was fine but after I got a refill I started going crazy and becoming suicidal. So my doctor switched me to acyclovir 400mg twice a day and I was ok on that at first but now I'm super nauses and just want to die. I don't know what to do. Why do these medications make me feel crazy, nausea, tired, no energy. I'm over all of this and just feel like killing myself would be the best bet.

[ann122]

hey! i got the lovely news of my diagnosis about a year ago. I know how you feel...its the worst feeling in the entire world. But i'm being completely honest when I tell you it gets better. It really does I promise. The med thing sucks, for me the only side affect was an upset stomach and I noticed more hair falling out in the shower. But dont fret there a million other ways to suppress the virus via vitamins etc. L lysine, vitamin c, and acyclovir when I feel tingling has lead to me never having another outbreak. Just the one last march. If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me! Theres a ton of posts on here about other ways to control outbreaks besides antivirals. I wish I could directly site them but its been a while since i've been on here.

 

stay strong, we're all here with you and have felt/are feeling just like you!

[Libragirl43]

Take it 1 day at a time. It's overwhelming when you find out! I felt like it was almost too much to comprehend. Thank God for my best friend! She kept telling me "You'll be ok I promise!" I was just diagnosed in July. I still think about it everyday but it has gotten better. There's a wonderful book by Louise Hay called "You Can Heal Your Life"

If Meds are making you sick there supplements that can help. I've been taking Lysine 1000mg a day, Kyolic Garlic & Immune support ( Garlic is anti viral), a good fish oil supplement, probiotic, Vitamin C & Zinc everyday. It's worth a try. I'm still taking Valtrex 500mg & slowly trying to come off of it. They say it takes the body about a year to settle into how to deal with the virus. When I first heard that I couldn't fathom a year of how to deal with HSV. It's been 6 & a half months in those 6 months I've taken 1 day at a time. I've educated myself greatly on a Virus I knew NOTHING about. I'm still learning a lot. Also in those 6 months my life has also went on. I've laughed a lot! Had great times with the people around me who matter! I actually think it's made me more appreciative to the ones I love because when your down there the ones who lift you up! It WILL get better!!!! :-)

[shocked80]

Ann122... thank you for responding. It's crazy to me that the first few weeks I feel fine and then all of a sudden I'm ridiculously nauses. I've lost a lot of weight due to lack of appetite. When I was told to stop taking the valtrex i felt great for about a week and then all of a sudden I started getting nauses and felt a uti coming on. I'm assuming those are prodome symptoms. Are prodome symptoms considered an outbreak? I will deffinately keep in contact with you if you don't mind I need someone to talk to that understands exactly what I'm going through.

[shocked80]

Libre girl 43

I'm going to look into getting the book you mentioned. I deffinately nerd to find a way to heal myself. I'm a complete stress case since I don't understand what's going on with my body. I was told to take the meds for 6 months but if I'm having issues like this I'm not sure I can. This is all so much to deal with

Thank you for responding I really appreciate it

[Libragirl43]

If you need to talk message me anytime! I know it's very overwhelming. My first outbreak was awful! I was told it should clear up in a couple weeks. Mine lasted over a month. I had 3 outbreaks back to back. Probably the stress & anxiety of having it added to it taking it's toll. I took Valtrex 1000mg 2x a day for 10 days & still had 2 more consecutive breakouts. I continued takin 500mg a day for a month then went off. I felt prodomes for another month after being off the Meds. I didn't get another outbreak until Nov. So I had 3 months no Meds & felt fine. My second outbreak was 2 bumps that were painful. Nothing like the first. I had a terrible headache & pain in my shoulder blade & a bit of soreness before the bump arrived. I took the prescribed Valtrex 500mg 2x a day for 3 days. The 2nd outbreak much MUCH milder but did last about 2 weeks. As soon as it cleared I got another bump in a different spot. Back again on Valtrex. Then went off again. Within 2 weeks my period came & I got a bump so small if I wasn't so in tuned to my body now I probably never would have noticed it ( I swear I think I can feel my hair grow now! I'm kidding but I notice ever little twinge or itch that I feel now thanks to HSV). Back on Valrex. (I take the generic Valtrex but not sure what the generic name of it is) as soon as that cleared I got 1 more bump in a different spot. So mine comes up as single bumps consecutively. Meaning 1 will clear & then I'll get a second. I'm finally cleared up & weaning off Valtrex taking it every other day. I still getild tingles in my leg here & there. I'm assuming my body is getting used to having the Virus plus being a woman in my early 40ies my hormones fluctuating. But in the beginning I lost weight, felt tired & sick ALL the time! The medicine made me sick at first but now doesn't seem to bother me. I think the first year it's a HUGE adjustment for our body as well as our mind!

I love this forum! It's been a God sent for me to be able to read others expierance & advice. It took me 6 months to get the nerve up to post on here.

Hang in there! Every outbreak I've gotten has been milder then the last.

I'm sure you'll feel better as time goes on & your body adjusts! Our bodies are ALWAYS healing themselves & are miraculous at adjusting but we need to give ourselves time to heal. :-)

Stay Strong! Remember 1 day at a time ;-)

[shocked80]

Libragirl 43

Thank you for going over your breakouts in detail. I've only had one breakout in December and have not had another. My breakout was not to bad I've heard some horror stories. And it lasted maybe 2 weeks from the onset of symptoms until when I was completely healed. I just came from the doctor and she thinks it's best if I only take meds when I have the onset of an ob. Since I'm still learning my body I'm probably going to think every tingle and itch is an ob. My mind has just been going crazy over this. She did prescribe me the name brand valtrex meds and not a generic to see if I can tolerate the brand name better. It just sucks that my body is super sensative with meds and I can't take them daily. I'm hoping some of the natural vitamins help. I'm currently taking zinc, emergen c, vitamin b complex and echinecha (spelling?) Lol.. I really appreciate you talking toe it helps to talk to someone who knows exactly what I'm going through

[WCSDancer2010]

@shocked80

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

As the others have said, you WILL get though this and as a 35 yr veteran I can tell you there are FAR worse things that can/will happen to you in your life 9even though it doesn't feel like it right now). You are buying into the stigma ... because you don't have the information you need to understand how to deal with this. The best thing you can do is read all you can on here ...especially the success stories. I'll post some links for you as well with things you can do for outbreaks (if you have another) ... because the best thing you can do is attack them from both the inside (valtrex, L Lysine, and all the things you are already taking) as well as the outside (Epsom Salts baths and other things that dry it up).

 

If you are not having outbreaks then I don't see why you need to be on the meds right now unless you have a partner that you are trying to protect ... so for now, use them episodically.... you can always change it up later and you may adjust better once you are under less stress around the whole thing.

 

These links should get you going ... and come here as much as you need for support and information :)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Treatments/medications

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4810/bactine-for-oral-and-even-genital-herpes

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/

 

Links to some of the items suggested in the links

http://tinyurl.com/pmosahc Link to Alum

http://tinyurl.com/Aloecream

http://tinyurl.com/bactine

http://tinyurl.com/Oragelsgldose

 

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Herpes facts video

[shocked80]

@WCSDANCER2010

Thank you for responding. I think you're right about me buying into the stigma. I'm just so lost.. I over think everything and believe every tingle, itch and different feeling is and ob or prodome. Is an ob only when you have blisters? I'm also nervous because I'm in a relationship with a non infected partner and since I can't tolerate daily meds I'm concerned about him catching it. Is it true your first out break is usually the worst?

[WCSDancer2010]

Well it will take you awhile to learn *your* prodromes ... be patient with yourself and your body. An OB is when blisters/lesions are present but you can be asymptomatically shedding without the prodromes/symptoms.

 

If you can't find an anti-viral that works for you (one thing you may want to try ... introduce them in smaller doses like 1/4 of a pill for a week, then half a pill for a week ... see if you can build up to the full dose like you would with anti-depressants) ... or even if you CAN take the meds, try L-Lysine as well ... it works well for many people.

 

First OB's are *usually* the worst ... BUT ... every person has a different experience and there are always those who don't have a typical experience.

 

Certainly the first year is the most difficult - you need to learn your symptoms, how to control it, and allow your body to heal and deal with the virus. BUT ... this can be a great time to try to find other ways to be intimate ... and that can be a GOOD thing in the long run :)

 

http://herpeslife.com/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5807/list-the-ways-to-protect-my-partner-from-getting-herpes-hsv2

[ann122]

I'm happy to chat anytime you want :) How did your partner take it? Mine took it surprisingly well. He went and got a blood test and it came back positive so that took a lot of stress off my shoulders. I know what you mean though I still think every little thing I feel is an outbreak coming on. But no blisters for me in a year (knock on wood) so I think I only had the one. it also took 2 weeks to clear up. The worst part for me was the leg pain anyway...not even the blisters.