long ago on a small, narrow-minded planet far far away. ..

[tired_of_hiding]

It was 1983 and I was 21 years old. I had barely even heard of herpes and BAM! My current bf at the time tells me that he has it and I gave it to him. Poor guy, to say I didn't take it well was an understatement. Local planned parenthood confirmed it. I was devastated. I told only my immediate family at first. They were supportive but as clueless as I was. Eventually, I turned to my friends. I use that term loosely because I was soon to find out how few friends I actually had. Reactions varied from stony silence (until my back was turned) to full on hostility. Then I met someone who seemed willing to accept me. Big mistake, he turned out to be very abusive and it took 3 years for me to break the hold he had on me. After all, who's gonna want me? That's what I thought anyway. I figured I was better off on my own. I ended up moving to another town to escape the whole mess. After that first outbreak there was nothing for years. Any irritation was minor and easily denied. Later meet and married again.( Better guy this time) still no problems with H until the past year or so. My husband and I have grown apart. Raised our son together but lived pretty much separate lives for the past 10 years. Then he gets hurt and and it's surgeries, IV's and dressing changes constantly. I'm a nurse so I can handle that, right? It's been a year of working 24/7 and our lovely friend has re-emerged with a vengeance! I found this website about a week ago, and what a relief to find the acceptance and support I see on here. This is my first post but I've been reading and learning so much. For all of you who are newly diagnosed, don't give up! If I had found something like this 33 years ago I could have avoided so much pain and hopefully some of the mistakes. It's taken me a long time to face it. If there's one thing you need to remember, it's that you are the same person you were before and if somebody treats you differently, you don't need them! You're worth just as much to this world as they are! Don't settle for less than you want or deserve. Ever!

[fitgirl]

@tired_of_hiding what a great post! Thank you for sharing it..... as a veteran of herpes myself, we need more of these stories for the newbies to hear. What many people don't realize (especially those under 30) is that we have the Internet now and no one has to fear scared and alone, there is support across the world, access to information and education that wasn't available in the years when you were first diagnosed. The more we can share our stories, the less scary this is. It's truly amazing how many resources are available to us now, we need to embrace the help and the knowledge and pay it forward to those around us. Thanks for sharing

[tired_of_hiding]

Thanks Fitgirl! If sharing my experiences and mistakes helps someone else, then I'm happy to do it.

[WCSDancer2010]

@tired_of_hiding

 

Hello and Welcome from another veteran ... 35 years here!

 

Thank you for sharing your story..... it's so important for the newbies to see that really, our lives end up pretty "normal" in the long run.

 

Sounds like you need to take care of YOU a bit more though....... Herpes has a way of telling us when we are ignoring our own mental and physical health... so I hope you will listed to it :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[tired_of_hiding]

Thanks dancer! Working on taking better care of me. Too easy to over compensate. Starting to realize I've been doing that for far too long. As if I have something to make up for, huh? Better late than never.

[WCSDancer2010]

Yeah - with age (hopefully) comes a little more wisdom!!!