positive energy

[shocked80]

I've finally accepted that I have H..but I can't seem to find the drive to want to get out the house and want to do anything. Does anyone have any suggestions to get through this?? Im wondering if it is from the valtrex or could it just be me being depressed or something.

[whitedaisies]

It is likely depression.

 

I went through the same thing.

 

It is important for you to not succomb to it bc it can easily get out of control.

 

My suggestion is to make a lunch date with someone once a week or even two weeks to force you out. Allow yourself time on ur own at home but u must attempt to be out amongst people.

 

I just would txt a friend and book a dinner or lunch to get me out.

 

As time went on I did more things on my own.

 

Good luck. There's a whole world waiting out there for you!

 

Xo

[shocked80]

@whitedaiaes you always have great advice. Thank you. Im trying not to succomb to it but it's so hard. I just don't feel like myself anymore

[cariboo]

i think we have all been there. Some days are better than others. I agree with whitedaisies, you need to make yourself go out if you can. I have been so lucky to have amazing friends who know all about me and wont let me sit home and cry. I have had this since christmas day...and things are starting to get better for me.

Ive also started to up my workout schedule and that helps a lot as well. Im starting to feel a lot better about myself,,, still have lots of "down" days but also having great days.

[shocked80]

@cariboo I'm invited places but always say no. I know I should go just to get out but how do I get out of the Rutt and make myself go. Ive lost a lot of weight during this ordeal that started in december. My mind says I need and want it go to the gym but once I'm home I just stay in my room and don't do anything. Im not comfortable in my own skin. I need to tone and that's taking a toll on me to.

[cariboo]

Can you make yourself go even if you dont want to? I found if I stayed home then all my energy became focused on the herpes and i would perseverate and dwell on it. When I went out, my mind would change direction even for a short while. And when i was working out it really helped with the stress. If I need something from the store I will walk or cycle and even that little bit helped me.

[whitedaisies]

Only u can make urself go.

 

Sometimes I would say yes and then cancel. But even though I felt like curling up and dying, there was sthng deep down that wouldn't let me.

 

I always booked lunches and dinners w people I felt comfortable with and places I felt comfortable with as well so I didn't feel anxious about te person and location, I just had to focus on getting up and getting dressed an going.

 

Don't give up!

[shocked80]

@cariboo I honestly don't know if I can. But I do know that if I'm hme and not sleep I'm thinking about H. Recognize the issue and I need to try and fix it. Im this no way to live.

[whitedaisies]

Ok so more advice. Trust me I have been to the very bottom and I would say honour where u are. Honour how you feel. You will move to the next stage when you are ready, don't rush it, don't fret it....live inte moment and nothing beyond that. Honour yourself in that moment.

 

My only concern is u have to be mindful not to totally give in, it's a fine line. I didn't push myself to heal emotionally faster or find some mental health kool aid to drink. I honoured each stage of grief, each feeling and didnt rush it but I was mindful to make little goals like going groceries or out for tea or whatever. I found being around a lot of people was too much fore so I would pick more intimate settings.

 

Hugs

[cariboo]

Exactly, I hang with my a couple of my close friends, hike together, coffee, lunch etc. Even for 1/2 hour at a time. I think a large group would have completely overwhelmed me.

[shocked80]

@whitedaiaes that's wonderful advice. I definitely need to make sure I don't completely give in and that's what I feel may be happening. That's why I decided to reach out on Here to get others advice on this issue. Thank you

[shocked80]

Im not a huge crowd type of person so that would completely overwhelm me

[whitedaisies]

Tiny goals ok?

 

Slowly you will feel better.

 

[whitedaisies]

Oh and I also did therapy 2 times per week. I have been doig it for about a year and it really helps. I would highly recommend it

[shocked80]

@whitedaises I just started therapy. It made me feel good to talk about my issues. I also realised that I have other areas of my life that I never resolved. I need to see an actual therapist since I was considering getting some meds to help with my mood and constant h osession. The person I meet with cannot prescribe meds

[whitedaisies]

Yes I had to go to psychiatrist to prescribe meds and psychotherapist for therapy.

 

Keep going. U r doing the right things

 

I had several other issues to resolve too.

[shocked80]

@whitedaises thank you for the positivity and encouragement. I need to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist asap. Did the meds help?

[whitedaisies]

Yes if they are the right ones. It is a bit trial and error.

 

Zoloft didnt work for me by cymbalta did. I recommend cymbalta. It is a popular med for depression. Ask ur doc. Even a family doc can prescribe but sometimes they don't know the best meds to give you.

 

I am happy to help.

[shocked80]

My pcp I ain't much help. I know I definitely need something to give me a little boos to over come this. Thank you again @whitedaises

[whitedaisies]

No problem anytime.

 

Hugs

[WCSDancer2010]

 

Sorry - I've been out of town for the weekend and just now catching up....and I'll have to keep this short cause I'm WAAAY behind!

 

@whitedaisies got it right to honor where you are at - and at the same time, you may need to say "I am here right NOW, but I am taking steps to change this.... so tonight I will go out for a quick drink with my friend and come home in 1/2 hr" ... or go to the movies ... even just making yourself get out for a 1/2 hr walk EVERY DAY no matter what will help (the weather is improving - and certainly dealing with this shit in winter doesn't help at all :P ).... check out these links on obsessing:

 

Lonliness, rejection, rumination Practicing Emotional Hygine

 

 

 

[shocked80]

Thank you @wcsdancer2010 you're always coming through with such positive feedback