HSV2 is bittersweet.

[JessikaRabbit89]

I have had herpes for 6 months now and I must admit life has gone back to normal. I suffer less outbreaks, and I am starting to go out and enjoy myself again. I have even found a new love in the process, something that in the beginning I thought would never happen. He doesn't have herpes either, which makes me happy because he is able to see past my condition and accept me as I am. At the same time though it scares me to think there could ever be even a slight chance of infecting him, but even after mentioning that possibility to him, he didnt budge.

 

We have a bond and relationship like nothing I have ever experienced before. We have the same birthday (both turned 25 this year), so we are practically the same person just anatomically opposite lol. We share the same ideas, dreams, interests, with slightly different opinions on certain things but thats what makes it work so well. Although things are going fast romantically, we havent passed that threshold of being intimate, mainly because of me. I tell him I want to wait because I really like him, which I do and I'm impressed that he's actually willing to wait, but it all goes back to being afraid of "contaminating" him.

 

I really want this to work, I'm pretty optimistic and so is he. We are both hopeless romantics falling pretty hard for eachother but I just dont want us sleeping together solely off of infatuation and then he regrets it after the fact...

[WCSDancer2010]

@JessikaRabbit89

 

Great to see you here again!

 

So here's the deal .... at some point you have to TRUST him to make an ADULT CHOICE to have sex with you with the full knowledge that he *might* get H from you.... then you do your part to to protect him as best as you can (whether you choose to use anti-virals or not should also be a joint decision but I'm meaning being conscious of your prodromes and not having sex if you think you may be shedding...

 

Sounds like that time is nearing ... so sit down with him, talk it out, and then I hope you will be able to relax and get yer freak on chica! 6 months is an amazing amount of time for him to wait ... so you can bet yer shirt that he's not just "infatuated" ... and if he says if he gets it there will be no regrets,,, BELIEVE HIM and let it go... ok???

 

(((HUGS)))

[JessikaRabbit89]

I can't help but be afraid to talk to him too much about it because I dont want him to start freaking out. Though he has a very laid back and open minded personality, the moment I told him I had herpes he only asked what did it mean for us as far as sex goes. He didn't get awkward about it at all. He does admit to not knowing much about it and I am worried if I give him all of the details he will back out which at this point would be pretty heartbreaking. :/

 

Another thing I worry about is...well...the size of his...yeah. I'm afraid to have sex and that triggering an outbreak. A guy whos more well endowed would likely cause one wouldnt it? Or will antivirals keep that under control also?

[WCSDancer2010]

Honey ... remember ... Herpes is your Wingman ... if he walks out, it because he's not meant for you... but from everything you are saying, he's a keeper ... hell, I don't know many 20-something (or 50-somethings for that matter) yr old guys who would have waited 6 months to have sex.... I don't think you can scare him off :)

 

Sit down one last time . Give him ALL the facts about regular transmission rates, and rates with antivirals and condoms ... let HIM choose if he wants to wear a condom... anti-virals are something of a joint decision because you have to deal with taking them and the cost ... but if he's at all nervous it's a good thing to start with them till you both learn to relax around it.

 

As for his size ... I'd start with anti-virals to help your body with the adjustment to having sex again ... when we women haven't had it in awhile, things often get a little soft and likely to get irritated... it may not stop OB's but it should slow them down and shorten them.

 

“When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly.”

― Patrick Overton, The leaning tree

 

Fly girl, Fly!!!

[bent_notbroken]

I'm so happy to read this. I've hit a complete speed bump in every aspect of my life right now and the fact that I'm experiencing the most stubborn of outbreaks is only making it harder to climb out of the hole I dug up lol. To read acceptance makes me feel a bit better that maybe I can be accepted someday too.

[WCSDancer2010]

Oh - and if you need help Flying, the H Opp weekend will give you wings ... even better than drinking a Red Bull...LOL

 

PM me ... If it's about the cost, I think I can help you out... ok?

[JessikaRabbit89]

I just talked to him. Major success!!! He's okay with everything and I feel like I'm on cloud 9 right now. I am on daily suppressive therapy so hopefully that will keep everything in check for sexy time. This is the happiest day I've had since this whole experience. I have to thank you for giving me the confidence I needed to have this talk.

 

As far as the H Opp event goes! I can actually drive there. Its only about 3-4hours away. But financially I just moved and I have a trip coming up so money will be tight :/ it sounds like it would be an amazing time!!!!

 

And @bent, your time will definitely come! Trust me. Everyone has someone for them, no matter what their condition may be. We just have to start loving ourselves and know we are still worthy of love and then others will start to see it too. Thats how I look at it. :)