Never been happier

[freckles112]

I recently disclosed to a guy I have been seeing. I told him I wanted to wait to have sex. He agreed and said he wanted to wait as well. I started to become very anxious and depressed because I convinced myself that he was going to say he didn't want to date me anymore because of herpes. I convinced myself that I would be alone forever. I knew I had to tell him soon because the wait was killing me and making me so unhappy. It was really hard at first but I made sure to show him the handout explaining how low his risk was of contracting it. He didn't know much about it so I kept on saying that it was okay for him to be unsure and research it more but I made sure to say that he should go to this website and not the scary ones. He kept on assuring me that he didn't care and that he really liked me anyway and that he was so sorry this happened to me. It turns out that he had some baggage too around sex and was afraid I was going to dump him! We were both so relieved that we accepted each other. I couldn't stop smiling. This was about two months ago and we are still dating. I never thought I could be as happy as I feel right now. In my darkest time if someone had predicted the future and told me I would have never believed them. We accept the love we think we deserve.

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Hi @freckles112, thanks for sharing your story!! I am so happy for you and I know exactly how you feel. I am in the exact same situation and could not be happier as well. Your words will hopefully help others understand that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that there are great people out there who don't see herpes as a deal breaker. Disclosing is scary, but if we take the risk, it can lead to beautiful relationships. :)

[WCSDancer2010]

@freckles112

 

Congratulations and well done for facing your fear and realizing that we ALL have something in a "closet" that we fear will make us "less than" in the eyes of others if we were outed. Once you understand that, and you understand that if someone "rejects" you because of your stuff, it's really more about them, their beliefs, their personality, or their inability to commit ... and none of that has ANYTHING to do with you!

 

So happy for you!!! (((HUGS)))

[Bella]

That's awesome thank you for sharing your story!

It's good you disclosed to him before taking it to the next level

So happy for you and wish you two the bestest luck

[Pie71]

What are the bad websites?

[beebee]

Im so happy to read this.. Im disclosing in a couple hours and this gives me hope especially since im freaking out and feeling the exact same

[WCSDancer2010]

@Pie71

 

There are too many to list... but if a website has a lot of negativity on it (people basically all feeding each other's fears), or if they have lots of horrid photos (ie, worst case scenarios which is likely less than 1% of those who get it because they are usually immune compromised, so it doesn't represent the experience of most people), or any sites that promise a "cure" are bad sites.

 

More important is to steer a future partner towards the good, reputable sites: Herpes Opportunity, Westover Heights, the CDC's site, herpes.org, and American Sexual Health Association are all good. There's a couple more that I like but I can't remember the links/names. Tell them to stay the hell off Google Images, and if they talk to a Dr, talk to someone at either an OBGYN or Planned Parenthood because PCP's are often out of touch and more likely to allow their personal judgement to get into the mix.... ;)