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the Lifechange

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I was 'blessed' about 2 1/2 years ago by a man who didn't tell me had herpes. We were about 6 months into the relationship. I ofcourse reacted with anger, then denial, then diffused denial.....I decided I wanted to stay with this man, and eventually 'forgot' I now had herpes. Eventually other issues in the relationship caused it to fail. When I finally took the step to joing dating sites, it hit me like 2 tons of bricks. OH GOD- I HAVE HERPES. I have only 'needed' or chosen to disclose 4 times. 1 man was ok with it, 2 definitely not, and the 4th- I am not sure where it's going....I am not sure if he's serious about what he says, or if I am being played by a player. Could be time to close the book on that one.

As I write this, I know I still like myself, like who I am, but am sure that life has changed for me. And yes, feeling a little angry again....

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Lifechange, I can empathize. I received my gift while in a long term relationship, although I got mine by assuming the risk of being with an H infected partner. It was a very long relationship, and now I am back out there again as a 30something trying to date with this. It's like a delayed reaction that I am now having, to actually dealing with the dating consequences now. I have been dating for a few months but have not gotten to the point where I needed to disclose. But now I am involved in a pretty intense long distance communication with someone I have connected with online, and disclosure may be around the corner with this one. It's certainly an accomplishment that you have been able to disclose 4 times. I am trying to remain mindful of the fact that H is essentially going to become the magic filter - if a man can see past it, then he's in it for the long haul without a doubt.

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Like Atlantic, I can empathize. I have my moments of feeling angry about having H.

My moments of feeling angry quickly fade though, just as the men who are not right for me quickly fade. I've disclosed a couple of times, and I've also had experiences of people definitely not being okay with it. Those who are not okay with it are people who I really don't know all that well though. They didn't know me on a core level. and I didn't know them on a core level. I really feel that when I find the right one- herpes or no herpes- we will see eachother for who we REALLY are, and herpes has no chance of standing in the way of that.


I like it when you wrote "I know I still like myself, and like who I am". You know yourself better than anyone <3


love to you and Atlantic


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