up until now ive been positive through it all...

[WCSDancer2010]

I SWEAR I went on that date a couple weeks ago... couldn't get a word in edgewise, and when I tried to ask him questions he barely answered them then went off again on his chatter. One of his comments was how one of the women at work says he's arrogant or whatever.

 

Not exactly the kind of thing you want to hear on a first date :p

[makeitrightandbright]

Thats hilarious! Itmakes me wonder if they are TRYING to turn us off!

[Anna01]

What's sad is they are TRYING to turn us on and are completely unaware of how they sound! It is not a good look. I think it comes from insecurities. You talk yourself up to make yourself sound amazing. Instead of just being yourself and letting people make up their own opinions.

[makeitrightandbright]

Youre right 100%. First date they want to make themselves look good. He called me this morning, saying he cares about me more than i know and that he always wants to be my friend. He says that to everyone im sure!! Im done with that in my life! Im a good person, so if he honestly does need someone to talk to, then im here. But as far as a casual relationship goes, im done with him! Everytime he would start talking about how i have H and how he doesnt think thats whats on him. Then it makes me feel dirty and awful because its like he is trying to point arrows to me! Before he left for vacation it was fine. A few days after he gets back this shit started happening. I rest my case!

[Anna01]

Don't let his coping make you feel dirty or awful. He is trying to talk himself out of the need to find out the TRUTH. We all go through a phase of denial. It takes courage to get tested when you have symptoms. A lot of people can't find it right away. It took me 7MONTHS to finally get tested after my ex told me he had H! lol 7 months! I was in complete denial but I was celibate so I could take as long as I needed haha. Hopefully, he will get the courage to find out his truth. It is always better to know than not. Some believe ignorance is bliss but honestly I worried 20 times more when I didn't know.

[makeitrightandbright]

That is one thing that i have been dealing with in a good way. Im glad i know now id rather know than to be thinking everything is totally cool. I am obsessive over anything going on with my lady bits! Ive had an issue with beta strep in the past so i really thought thats what this was in the very beginning. I tested positive for hsv2 but hey, i tested negative for the beta strep!! Thats looking on the bright side of things!! Lol

[Anna01]

Oh me too. I was so proud of myself like "Yes I have great vaginal health! woohoo." I was totally obsessed haha My ex was probably terrified of telling me because I was so vocal about the importance of my health. I was so vocal that it was misleading. I would've accepted his condition if he would've told me but he probably thought I would sprint the opposite direction. Now I am like "woohoo have have Herpes" Life goes on lol

[makeitrightandbright]

Lol life does go on. I know i will be saying "woohoo i have herpes!!" oneday lol. Im still struggling and taking it oneday at a time. But i will get there. I know i will.

[Anna01]

I mean in reality I haven't actually said that yet either! However, I do make an occasional joke with my Mom and sisters. My mom was talking to me about flossing yesterday because she has gingivitis and I am on the brink of having it :-/ She was like hunny I don't want you to have what I have. I was like Oh Mom that virus is nothing compared to what I do have! Me and my sister died laughing. It was funny. We are a family of animated personalities. Honestly I don't think much of H until I picture disclosing to this guy I am interested in. Thats when I get butterflies in my tummy. I just tell myself, if he really cares for me, he won't care about this. If he cares about this, then he doesn't REALLY care for me. We both believe what we have is special...we will see. Only H will tell haha :)

[2Legit2Quit]

To be honest ladies, I have seen from experience, it seems to be the men that have the hardest time dealing w it. I provide support on another forum (I use this one as support, but where I can be the patient too and get the support I need, since I have to be strong for everyone else).

 

They actually will drive me up the wall w their denial and obsession over it. They will hound me constantly w messages and become extremely needy. Nome of the females behave this way... EVER... Maybe one I've seen.... The females are sad, vent and then try to keep it moving, then men often act like big anxious babies. Sorry to the men that don't, just going off of experience...

 

That saying man up needs to be changed to woman up. It's the women I see most who take this in stride. Think it has a lot to do w men and their obsession over their wieners and it defining them maybe. Do not let him use you as his emotional punching bag.

[Anna01]

@2Legit2Quit I couldn't agree more. Women do have a way of hangling things. I do think men put way too much value into their penis. It is like their favorite golden trophy breaking into a million little pieces. I think that is why they find it difficult to disclose. Little do they know, women are some of the most understanding and forgiving creatures. When we care, we accept all flaws.

[2Legit2Quit]

@anna01 amen to that

[makeitrightandbright]

I agree with all of that. They do see it as them losing something that was once so wonderful to them, and i big part is probably denial because they know they can have careless carefree aex anymore (not that they all do but in general!)

[2Legit2Quit]

The thing is, most of them still do have sex, knowing they have it. It's sickening...

[Anna01]

@2Legit2Quit Don't we know it! smh lol

[makeitrightandbright]

True freakin story!!! Lol

[2Legit2Quit]

Hahahah!