I really don't know how it makes me feel

[rules]

Hi all!

 

I have known that I have H for about 3 months now, when I got the call I freaked out for a little then all my emotions went dead. I've tried to share it but then I realized I might have made a huge mistake in doing so, I told my sister and at first she was all "oh that's not a big deal it could've been worst" but her actions said otherwise she constantly made me feel like I was a pariah in my own home. This made me never want to share this with anyone again if my own sister can go from accepting to being cautious around me like a simple touch can spread it than how are others going to take it?

 

I'm also very shocked by my own lack of emotions towards it all, do I not care about myself enough? I don't know if it has to do with not being able to share it with anyone or just me suppressing my emotions (which I normally do I'm not really too emotional). I haven't had a full outbreak yet is that why I'm not facing this? Or am I too scared to acknowledge it?

 

But I also fee like I might have done so much research that it was overkill and that I might actually just be fine with it, I am not seeing anyone and I don't think I'll be ready for that step anytime soon. Every time I've gone to go get tested I've always been told there is no need to get checked for H if you don't show symptoms you don't have it WRONG (you'd think doctors try to help you even a little). I had to force the doctor at planned parenthood to have them give me a blood test and then bam the news came, I have yet been to another doctor or spoke to any doctor about having H I'm only 22 and I'm terrified that my parents find out through their insurance is that possible? (They really can't know for cultural reasons and I do not want to have to deal with that).

 

But ANYWAYS I am so happy to have found this site and I am looking forward to meeting and connecting with new people who can share their knowledge and I can share my support!!

[WCSDancer2010]

@rules

 

Hello And Welcome!

 

First... whatever happens, you WILL be fine ...but right now we need to get more info.

 

So ... you had a test without any symptoms? If so, did they say you have HSV1 or HSV2, and what were the values of the tests. If you got a result without symptoms this is very important to know because 40% of the "positive" results under 3.5 that show without symptoms are a false positive.

 

This is the reason that the CDC tells Dr's to not test for Herpes without symptoms. We generally don't agree with that outlook... (We'd rather people be tested, and if positive without symptoms, do the Western Blot which has to be special ordered through Westover Heights..and that people get proper education and coaching ... but that means more cost to the system). Your (and your sister's) reaction is exactly why they don't want to test, because they feel it's better not knowing if you are going to be in this "grey area". They miss the point that it's even worse to find out you have it AFTER you pass it on ... and that when you know, you can be more aware of things to do for safe sex.

 

So ... why you are feeling like you are. For one thing, it's hard to know "how" to feel... it's not life or death, but thanks to the stigma, it's easy to believe that its pretty "bad". AND, you don't have to buy into the stigma. Take it from a 35 yr veteran ... it's a minimal issue in my life ... it's caused a few speed bumps in my life, but it hasn't stopped me from several beautiful relationships, having 2 wonderful daughters, or doing anything I want to do. Check out the links below, and get me that test info, and we will go from there..

 

(((HUGS)))

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6070/it-gets-better great tips for newbies

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2886/herpes-yoga-and-self-love

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6801/throwing-herpes-on-top-of-ugly-my-shallow-post

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6780/something-for-you-to-chew-on

 

Perhaps you can show this one to your sister so she gets a reality check about H ;)

 

http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/

 

[rules]

@WCSDancer2010

 

Thank you so much for your kind words! The test I received was the RPR W/TITER + CONF RFX (PN-IV) and I get my results online and it said non-reactive however I got a call a week after the test and was told that I wasn't positive for hsv1 but for hsv2 and I am confused. There wasn't any percentages or more information than that but I am making another doctors appointment ASAP to get it checked out further. I did get the blood test without having any symptoms but recently I've only had one outbreak and I wouldn't even call it an outbreak it was one sore and it started healing pretty quickly so I am very confused.

[WCSDancer2010]

Ok - so if you are having OB's, then you just need to find out which one you have ..

 

I'd retest with the IgG type specific test ....

[Livefiercely21]

Hi there :)

Maybe if I humanize myself a bit more you might feel like you're not alone. My actual name is Erica Smith. I am 21 going to be 22 as of October 15th. I live in Ottawa and I still live with my parents and brother. I'm currently trying to tell my brother about my recent diagnoses ( 5 ) days now. I found out from having symptoms of my first outbreak. It is a little scary not gonna lie and days I feel numb and others I feel like a mess. But I'm realizing that I lived for months without noticing and felt completely myself. And I will continue to feel like myself :) I've only told 3 friends who have been extremely supportive and treat me no less different than before. Your sister must just be uninformed about H. Get her to research a bit about it and she'll realize that even having sex with someone carrying H without protection is not a guarantee way to contract it. My boyfriend and I just found out I have it from my first symptoms of showing. He is currently getting retested but he showed up as negative the first time he was tested when we were together and having an active sex life. This is not the end of the world hun :) it's annoying but manageable. You just gotta be smart with dealing with outbreaks and take medication at it's earliest signs. I figured that out after my window of taking it lol but I'm handling it. If you want to communicate a little more personally add me on fb :) I have a short brown pixie cut with dark purple lips and my cousin to my right of the picture with blonde hair. Message me if you think it's me saying "hey Missy" it's my nickname :) I would love to talk especially since we're in the same boat and pretty much the same age as well :) hope to hear from you soon!