Help!! I've isolated myself. Depressed.

[Kbutterfly]

Since finding out about a week ago I've isolated myself completely. I leave the house to go to work and I come home and sleep as much as I can. I find that sleeping at least offers me some peace. I don't know if I can do this. Did anyone go through this? I feel so depressed.

 

[ihaveittoo]

Hello @Kbutterfly,

 

As a 28 year veteran of herpes I can tell you what your feeling is pretty normal for someone newly diagnosed. Take some comfort in knowing you are on the right path. You found this site and you are reaching out. Go thru the Informational Blog on this site. Lots of great articles and videos that can give you a good education about herpes and living with herpes.

 

If you have not found it already this is @WCSDancer2010's blog http://supporttruthanddialog.com/. I for one recommend everyone who reads this check it out if you have not already done so.

 

If there is a local support group near you try to attend a meeting or two. It really helped me out years ago. Actually talking with others face to face was a huge relief.

 

Hope this helps you. You will be fine once the shock wears off.

[NothingGoodGetsAway]

I totally went through this - I also had a horrific bout of tonsillitis flare up right after diagnosis (my immune system going CRAZY) and it's been either an outbreak down there or I'll go off antibiotics and I'll get tonsillitis again. I haven't felt "normal" in months, and every time I have a physical manifestation of an illness my brain will go into overdrive.

 

(I'm a late 20's girl living in a big city, if this helps!)

 

I hope this gives you solace - your case is an example of the reason they don't include HSV testing in typical STI panels. It's a virus that has such a stigma around it, so those that don't show symptoms, the CDC figures it's better for you not to know because it's not a "big deal" physically (but a pretty big deal mentally).

 

From reading your previous thread, I'd recommend getting type-specific testing done, so you can know for sure if it's both HSV-1 and HSV-2 or if it was a combined test and you've got HSV-1.

 

Sure, it's going to suck to "know", and potentially have that small bit of hope go away from "knowing" that you may have both types. BUT I have found that the not knowing just makes things worse. Been fighting tonsillitis that has no "known" cause other than bacteria, and it has driven me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. I keep thinking it must be something "worse" - because if I can get Herpes from a 1 time encounter with a friend, anything is possible, right?

 

I'm sorry that you've been going through this alone, but I have to say it helps so much to talk to someone - to anyone, really! I'm actually quite a public person, so I've told upwards of 30 people. Mostly I want to educate those around me as to what is tested for and not tested for, but I've heard from so many people so many amazing things about me and why this virus doesn't define me.

 

I wanted to share a post I did earlier on perspective, and some of the quotes I've gotten:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6714/perspective#latest

 

Also, if this gives you hope - I just got into a relationship with someone, and he DOESN'T CARE AT ALL. Which is insane and incredible to me, but I'm too close to it to have perspective and realize what a small part of life it will be.

 

 

[Kbutterfly]

I'm literally sitting here crying. Not so much because of the diagnosis but because of all the support I've received on here. It helps me believe that everything is going to be ok. That I still deserve to be loved and I will. Thank you all so much.

[2Legit2Quit]

Hun, I was the same way as you. People had to fight to get me out if bed and be social and I struggled w depression already before that and was starting to come out of it and this caused a massive switch in me... Mostly because I had the most debilitating neuropathy from it, that I had to get on anticonvulsants to take the pain away... The meds had a bad side effect on me as well, but it was better than feeling like a burn victim. We all feel this way and it is definitely a grieving process for sure. You'll get through this, don't worry. One thing herpes does offer, is it doesn't allow you to treat your body as trash or to be used anymore. There's always light, where there is darkness.

[Bambina3]

Good afternoon...I am a veterans H carrier, although didn't confirm it until recently...I'm still in the stage you are...I've only told my bestie about the diagnosis...I hope for our sake it gets better...I agree...I'm feeling kinda bleek too...one thing I can tell you is there is great people on this site who are more than willing to help us.

Hugs!

[Kbutterfly]

I have this weird crawling out of my skin feeling... Maybe it's all the anxiety. Ugh!! I wanna rip my hair out.

[Anna01]

@Kbutterfly Easier said than done, but try to relaxxxxxx.....take a deep breath in and blow it out...relax ok? :) Sometimes when we get anxious and overwhelmed it helps to just stop, breathe and think about how lucky we are to be alive at all. Focus on the positives in your life and I am not talking about a positive H result ;-) That will become so minor to you over time. Give yourself some time to accept and cope with this change in your life. That is all it is....a change...something new...uncharted territory. That can be a little scary right?? Everyone goes through a state of mourning or sadness because we believe that H is far worse than it actually is. The stupid stigma is out of control BUT when you become comfortable with it and realize it is not so bad, people will not have a choice but to believe the same. Trust me, I talk about it like I am talking about the weather, food, movies, a pimple etc. I don't get any anxiety when I talk to my people about it. I am not public about my diagnosis but the people in my life who do know can see that I am comfortable with it, so they are too. My experience has helped them realize that it is not a big deal. I found out that I have HSV1 and 2 late June of this year. I know how you feel...it sucks right. Know that this is just a phase in the process and you will move past it. I promise you that. Just work on yourself, do things you love, live a healthy lifestyle and enjoy this life because it is too short to spend too much time crying over a skin rash :) Crying is good but don't panic ok? Don't cry for too long. I have already disclosed to someone and he was so understanding. We are still going strong. You are still amazing and everything you were before this. Now you may be a little wiser, a little more careful, a little more selective of friends and boyfriends. I feel that is a positive. I am here for you if you ever want to talk ok? Keep your beautiful head up! Don't let this bring you down ;-) HUGS!

[2Legit2Quit]

@kbutterfky I had a constant feeling of my skin crawling on my genitals, buttock and back of thighs my first 8-9 months . now I never have the feeling one yr and some change. Now I get tingles or a flutter... Be patient, it will subside at some point.