I didn't freak.

[GotWhat]

I just wanted to post that not everyone will freak when you disclose. My former wife and I had been dating and sleeping together for at least a month when she tearfully disclosed. Should she have told me earlier? Probably. But when she did tell me, I didn't freak or balk or say I had to think. On the spot, I said I don't care and that was it. It took about ten years of marital sex for me to finally get it mostly because we were married and weren't as careful as we should have been. I understand that disclosing can be stressful because now I'm having to do it but so far it hasn't been a big deal and having HSV2 is most likely keeping me out of trouble because I don't act like I did when I was younger.

#silverlining

 

[2Legit2Quit]

I love this! Thank you so much for sharing! It's not often we get men on here, so it's great for newbies to hear this from a male, saying they didn't care. Do you mind sharing how you felt when you got it, how you feel dating again having it and if you've had any disclosures since? It's pertinent for newbies to hear from veterans, that life isn't over w H. Hugs!

[GotWhat]

Thanks 2legit. When I got it I was like damn I got herpes but I was married so it was a non issue. I rarely get out breaks and the cold sores I rarely get on my lip are far worse. I've disclosed a couple of times over the past few months and one response was " that's negotiable " which most likely meant she had it too and another response was " I don't care " which probably meant the same thing. It's not the disclosure that I find challenging. It's the gossip because we tend to date people in our circle. So maybe if that's a concern, it might be best to date outside of your circle. I opened a profile on pof without a picture and disclosed hsv upfront and had many women send me messages which makes sense because out of every four pictures one person has it minimum. To put it another way if my browser displays 40 pictures a page 10 women have it. TEN A PAGE! I am not buying the stastitic that 80 percent don't know they have it because many people lie and deny. I understand the stress around disclosure but I think that a solid understanding of the prevalence of HSV should offer some relief and if people are a holes about it then f em. Remember, eighty percent have it in their lip which essentially means everybody has HSV. They even advertise lip herpes medicine on TV. It's the same thing just a different spot.

A final thought for the women on here is that because you are on here learning and seeking support this means in my opinion that you are most likely NOT a narcissistic scummer putting her interests over everyone else's and I know because I was married to one. Herpes is for life but so is my friend being in a wheelchair. You decide.

 

 

 

[2Legit2Quit]

Love it @gotwhat ! Hope we see you on here in the regular!

[GotWhat]

Hey Legit... Maybe you know. Because im dating again I asked my dermatologist for a suppressive. He prescribed knock out level and had to google the dosage 1000 milligrams a day for ten days. I rarely get outbreaks but a daily dose would make me feel better and sometimes cold sores interfere with acting auditions. A daily suppresent (400 milligrams daily ?)would help with this. Would planned parenthood see a man for this? Seems they probably know the most.

Thanks

[2Legit2Quit]

Daily suppressive is 500mlgs.just request your derm to prescribe you 500 daily. To answer your question, yes PP does see males too.

[GotWhat]

Ok thanks!

[Bambina3]

I just love coming in and reading positive posts, thanks ;)

[AJ2015]

Awesome story thank you for that perspective. .. I have friends with hpv which even without outbreaks is so much worse. Indeed ... it's there for life ... just like the wheelchair in your friends life ... kinda makes u reevaluate how u look at life period

[GotWhat]

Yep.