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Unsure if I should even disclose... I'm not a bad person though. (Vent/Advice)

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Hey all,


So I'm a 21 year old male who had a first outbreak several months ago. Very mild, and healed up in a matter of days. My girlfriend gave it to me, but she did disclose and I took the risk. However, we will be going our separate ways in a year or so (transferring out of community college to a four year university,) and I worry day after day about my situation. Granted, I haven't had what I would consider an outbreak since the first one, but after we have sex sometimes I see very small red inflamed areas that go away after a day or so. I don't even know if these are considered "lessions" because they are hardly noticeable and go away so fast - but sometimes it does look like something more than a friction burn.



The thing is, I've been tested twice for herpes (1 & 2) and both results came back negative. The second time was a few days after my first outbreak, and after it was pretty much healed up completely. The first time was a few weeks prior just out of curiosity. Both negative.


When I transfer I am interested in a casual sex life. I find myself enjoying the company of multiple women. This is where I'm torn. I know I'm not the guy to get outbreaks, and I'm confident if I did get tested again my results would come back negative. I talked to one of my guy friends about it and he said,


"Dude, you're going to be a 22 year old guy in college. Your d*ck doesn't have anything on it and your STD tests (including herpes) come back negative every time. Why the #@^$ would you go around telling girls you have herpes."


And he's right. Logically, this seems the argument I would side with. But I know what I caught and what I have, regardless of how symptoms and tests add up (and yes, I'm fully aware of false negatives.) And though I would wear condoms, (I probably wouldn't EVERYTIME if I was close with the girl,) I worry greatly about passing it onto them.


So, I'm wondering whether I should just get tested before transferring and go with the negative results, or if I shouldn't get tested and let my doc know I'm having an outbreak so he could prescribe me valtrex to reduce my risk of potentially spreading. I feel like my doc would raise his eyebrows higher than the empire state building if I asked for valtrex after my third negative test.


Anyone have any advice or a similar situation they've experienced that they can share with me? I need some peace of mind and someone to listen to who is in a similar boat.



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You took a blood test prior to the outbreak and then one a few days after? Then it was too early for a positive to show up in blood work. If it's been a few months (I'd say 3+) since you've had what you're thinking is an outbreak, then I'd go ahead and retest. If you have another negative results, then I would side with your friend.


If disclosure is what's bothering you, you could always tell people you've been exposed but haven't had a positive result yet. And yes, wear condoms-for your protection as much as theirs.

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Just retest....it does sound like you might of tested too soon after exposure. Why admit to having something that hasn't been confirmed? I do know someone that had 2 negative swabs and finally the bloodwork came back positive....so it might be h, just be smart and retest.

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