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Depressed! Gave my virgo man HSV!

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I am very depressed. So I've been dating the love of my life for almost two years. We go all the way back to middle school. At the beginning of our relationship I informed him that I had HSV. He accepted me & said that it's ok because his ex wife had gotten it when she cheated on him & that he knew about it, mind you I had to write him a whole letter because I couldn't tell him in person. He lives in our hometown, which is 3 hours away from Atlanta; he said he was tested after they broke off to make sure he didn't have it, he said he didn't. I was the only one he been with since then. First time making love, he trusted me enough that I wouldn't hurt him so we didn't use a condom our first time although I had one. Ever since then, we never used one. I know recently, he's being going through A LOT because he's not over his mother's death that happened last summer, he is missing his two girls, found out that the youngest one has chemo back in August, & then especially with the holidays being here & his mother's birthday approaching, he has a lot on his plate. );. He had his first outbreak a few days ago and took all his anger out on me! I should have left him alone as requested but I just couldn't. I care for him too much, I just wanted to be there for him as I always have been, when I say I was there for him.. I was. So many sacrifices were made, especially financially. I even helped him finalized his divorce; so much I've done for him. Just seems like he forgets sometimes. We always made promises about not leaving each other & etc. & he always told me he appreciated me & etc & that he was a man of his word. But two days ago, he said that as of now, he wants nothing to do with me. Don't want to hear of or from me. I'm heart broken because I told this man. I trusted him and gave him all of me. I loved him to death and he knew that. He said to not worry because he ain't going anywhere. I'm so confused because we shared something special! Now, I don't know where we going. I swear I saved him so many times that you'd be shocked what I've done for him both mentality and physically. I've put him first so many times and always made time for him, most he font even know.); So much time and money I've put into him since he lost damn near everything following divorce. It is very crazy. Do he just need time to himself or could he be done? So much more I want to say but too much to type. I have been through so much with him, that I thought we would have been better than this. It makes me regret not discussing the risks with him but I just thought he knew. He didn't have the best Thanksgiving but I drove three hours to make sure he got a plate, and I comforted him the best way I could. I just miss him so much and love him to death. I wrote a letter to him that he should receive in about two days; told him to read when he's calm. This is a virgo man by the way.

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I'm a Virgo as well, but I'm very different from how he sounds. Anyway, you are not to blame and (in my opinion) he has a problem if he's blaming you. You told him up front and that was your only obligation from there on. He could, at any time, done his own research to educate himself further. This is not your fault!!!

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He has a LOT going that it's crazy but I stuck by his side through everything.. mainly financially. You'd be surprised. He didn't have a good Thanksgiving because he was missing his mom and girls, then his mom's birthday is approaching. I just never expected him to take his anger out on me like this. I believed him being a man of word but I don't know anymore of what to expect.

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Just because he had his first ob recently does not mean he just contracted the virus from you...have is tricky, some people go their entire lives without any ob...

Anyway, like you said his plate is full, and add his first ob on top of that, I'm sure he is on an emotional roller coaster,..just give him some time, if it's meant to be, he will be back

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I agree with the others, give him space and time.


I understand you are hurting, but something that sticks out in your posting is you keep saying how much you've done for him. Do you feel he owes you something? I'm just pointing that out because I hope that you aren't telling him these same things? We can't make them stay due to what we've given them. And I would think you wouldn't want someone to feel obligated to stay with you.


Just my thoughts. If he's going through a lot right now, piling other emotions (guilt, obligation, anger) on top of it might backfire.


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Nope.. not throwing it in his face or anything. However, I am doing better. Came to realization, he needs space. I sent him an edible arrangement on Monday. The deliver lady said that it made him smile a little... today's his mother's birthday, she passed away last year so I'm giving him all the space. When I say he has a LOT on his plate, he do. I just didn't know how to give him space; was just so used to being there for him because I care so much.

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Sometimes, when life gets rough and things pile up, we lash out at the ones that love us. They are easy targets. And most likely will remain regardless of how we acted. Not saying that it makes him right or that he will come back around. We can't really predict other peoples reactions, but don't lose hope. His anger isn't abnormal. Add in his other stressful stuff and I'm sure he's an emotional wreck.


Regardless, you may be associating this all with the outbreak (which I'm sure contributed to his stress) but it may be just be life in general. He knew he had a risk and if it happened at another point he may have dealt with it easier. Try not to freak out and see what happens.

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Thank you so much.. yes, he is going through A LOT that it's crazy. He has lost so much weight from depression that I just feel bad. Just so used to helping him but I guess he just needs space...


But Yeah imagine not being over your mother's death, your daughter having chemo, not being fully financially stable like you want to be to provide for your daughters and etc.. going from wealth to this. On top of not being able to give your partner love of what they deserve.. not being fully emotional stable.. along with keeping personal issues to yourself that you're dealing with. Not being able to eat because you have no appetite or being able to afford grocery. Your grandma having cancer as well and she's dying. Losing 50 pounds or more so you probably start to feel a little insecure because you've never been that small before.. then your struggling with your acid reflux.. and you're missing your girls growing up. And now you're probably more so upset with yourself having now possibly having herpes because you knew but it happens at the wrong time So it's like you're just cursed, and then you're not getting enough sleep... so you're always tired and then you're doing school online. And then you hate the fact that you're putting a lot of your partner. Imagine that plus more. He's strong for that.

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