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How to Adapt Condoms for Life

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How have people done it, get used to the idea of using condoms forever? Did you get depressed at bachelorette parties? How did you ever feel normal again? Any mind tricks or helpful hints? The idea of doing that forever is getting me so down, I can't wrap my head around it. Thank you.

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It's my understanding that most (not all) long-term couples in HSV discordant relationships eventually transition to not using condoms.


Everyone's comfort level is different. Mine is to have my partners wear condoms for casual, non-monogamous sex with me. Prior to my HSV2 diagnosis, guys sometimes pressured me on this. Since my diagnosis, my request is met with less resistance (still happens but less often), which I consider a good thing, even though I prefer the feeling without condoms. I want to minimize risk of passing things around (to/from me, to/from/among other partners). Not just HSV, but any STIs.


I haven't been in a monogamous relationship since diagnosis, but my plan would be to allow my partner to decide whether he wants to use condoms, assuming he is HSV2-. If he feels an additional 1% transmission risk per year is a reasonable trade for going condomless, I will be good with that. I wouldn't have wanted all my previous partners with oral HSV1 to feel dental dams were necessary for my benefit. I would've considered it worth the risk to go without barriers for oral sex. But it's a highly personal choice. And if I had a monogamous partner who felt more comfortable using condoms long-term, I'd live with that and do my best to have a good attitude about it. OTOH, if they were generally very anxious about contracting HSV, that would not work for me at all. Deal breaker.

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  • 5 months later...

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