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Herpes Dating Sites?


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You can try meetup.com, they may have groups where its a support group, where everyone has herpes or an std, but its not just about that, they go out and do things together and support each other.

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There are plenty of herpes-only dating sites out there, and they're easy to find if you want to find them ... but my question to you would be: (ahem) "WHY are you segregating yourself from most of humanity?" :) Do you deserve to treat yourself like a leper? (Clear answer: No!) Going the herpes-only dating route is essentially pre-rejecting yourself from the other 84% of people out there who don't have herpes. And my bet is there are plenty of fish in that sea who wouldn't reject you based on a silly little virus. AND, yes (to be fair) there are people in that sea who might reject herpes (note: Not rejecting you, rejecting herpes.) But that's the nature of the dating game anyway ... you can get rejected for any number of things and accepted for any number of things, too.

 

The answer I get from people 99% of the time is "Because I'm terrified of disclosing that I have herpes." Great. That's a starting point. Assuming that's also the case with you, my next question is: "What would it take for you to feel like you can disclose from a place of strength and wholeness?" There's a lot of power in owning the fact that you have herpes AND that it's just not that big of a deal to you. Owning that you're not going to let it stop you from finding the lover who is just right for you. This is where the true work begins ... And this is where you get to find yourself under all those false beliefs that are holding you back.

 

If you haven't yet, download the free e-book on herpes disclosure here:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

... and here are some other related posts that you might find helpful:

http://herpeslife.com/do-i-have-to-join-those-herpes-dating-sites/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-talk/

Notes:

  • My mother is now in hospice with end-stage cancer, so I am at her house a lot these days helping where I can until she passes. Thank you in advance for understanding if I am not as quick to respond as I normally would be. This is a precious and bittersweet time …
  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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im currently on positivesingle.com. its a great website. i have found a lot of friends and they give you alot of support as you go meeting people. however the herpes forum gives you alot of knowlegde and support and you feel accepted without really having to meet the person.

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Another great way to find local herpes folks is through attending local support groups. I wouldn't suggest using it as a way to get dates, but a great way to get in-person support from people who understand what you're going through. Here's a listing of all of them by state:

http://www.ashastd.org/std-sti/Herpes/support-groups.html

Notes:

  • My mother is now in hospice with end-stage cancer, so I am at her house a lot these days helping where I can until she passes. Thank you in advance for understanding if I am not as quick to respond as I normally would be. This is a precious and bittersweet time …
  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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"AND, yes (to be fair) there are people in that sea who might reject herpes (note: Not rejecting you, rejecting herpes.) But that's the nature of the dating game anyway ... you can get rejected for any number of things and accepted for any number of things, too."

That really made me think. People can reject the virus and the possibility of catching it while being with you, but it is not necessarily a rejection of you as a person. I really needed to hear that. Thank you, H_Opp.

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I'm glad you heard what you needed to hear, healing! It's so true, too! It's an easy step to assume that we as human beings aren't enough because of someone else's feelings about a simple virus. It's rarely about us when it comes to being "rejected" because of herpes (and hey, sometimes it is about us if we happen to just be an outright horrible, despicable human being). ;)

Notes:

  • My mother is now in hospice with end-stage cancer, so I am at her house a lot these days helping where I can until she passes. Thank you in advance for understanding if I am not as quick to respond as I normally would be. This is a precious and bittersweet time …
  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've had a decent amount of success with Positive Singles as well. H_Opp is right, you shouldn't exclude the vast majority of the dating population - but it IS nice to date someone without H even being an issue (or in fact being something you can both share, relate to, joke about, etc.).

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I live in a country where there are no H dating sites...it actually would be nice to have one. I have dated both non H and H pos men...purely by chance when i disclosed to one and he told me he had it too. We went out for a while but he ended it...see its not always about H - he had unfinished business with his ex!

 

But...I have to say it was nice being intimate with someone who had it too - no hassles and we both understood and supported each other. I have a lover who is H free and while he is accepting, understanding and lovely I always worry I could pass it to him so I am hyper vigilent about my body and possible symtoms.

 

Would it stop me from dating someone H free in the future - no. I took the risk for someone special and am trusting that one day the right someone will do that for me too.

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