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Where do I go from here

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Hi All,

Here is my story. I got divorced 2 years ago and after about 8 months, met a girl. She told me she had herpes on the first date and I honestly did not care at all. After a couple dates, I started to get pressure to have sex, although I was still unsure about the whole Herpes things. Anyway, we started sleepIng together and used protection. About 2 months in, I had an outbreak. I went to the doctor and he confirmed, although I still haven’t had the actual blood work.  We had a very rocky relationship and I’m pretty sure a big reason I stayed with her was because of my fear of being alone, which I had after my marriage, but was 10 times worse now because I have herpes. She even moved in with me and my son. 

I broke it off this weekend (which went horrible, mainly my fault), but am totally second guessing myself. I keep telling myself that I didn’t care when she told me and maybe there are women out there that would feel the same. I’ve shared with my mom and best friend, but they can’t really relate. I jumped at the chance to join this forum. I guess I’m looking for someone to tell me it’s okay and that I will find someone who will love me. I’m having a hard time trying to stay away from trying to patch things up with my ex, but the thought crosses my mind ever 5 secs.

BTW- I’ve had one initial breakout, very minor and nothing since. 

Even though I’ve had it for 9 months or so, I’m really just dealing with the ramifications now.

looking forward to some thoughts!


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I just got hsv2 about 1.5 months ago and I’ve already talked to a couple people that didn’t care. Although it didn’t go farther than conversations (my decision) I feel great knowing that a lot of people still view me as a person and not a disease. 

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  • 2 months later...

@Where to go from here

It's totally okay and someone who deserves you, will love you!

Don't let the Fear of being alone should be the basis of any relationship. Look beyond the status & don't limit yourself to a hsv positive person. Just like you were okay with it with your ex, there are plenty of people out there okay with it. I dated a guy who has hsv1 & wasn't concerned. 

There are 7 BILLION people in the world... You're bound to find more than one who genuinely does not care, because it's not who you are 😊😊

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Things will get better. I promise. I have a few questions I’m sorry if I seem to be getting personal I’m very new to this.


 I thought transmission rates were lower from female to male? Was she taking her daily medication and did you have sex during an outbreak? did you contract HSV1 or HSV2? 

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Hi Where to go from here

What you are feeling is very normal, the fear of being alone because no one will want you! we have all been there,
But you can still find love & there are plenty of lovely women that will accept you for who you are.

I've been in your situation & I am with a great woman, I won't lie, you may meet someone & get hurt along the way because they reject you,
but you can also get rejected for other reasons too, it is part of life.
Stay positive & just keep going, You will find someone

Good luck 🙂

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  • 2 months later...

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