So lost and completely alone

[universalmindgame]

Yesterday, I got my blood test results back and found out I was positive for HSV2. The number greater than 1 was 10! Does that mean I've had this for a long time and not known?? 

Quick backstory.. As a child I would always get canker sores in my mouth. I never had a bump or blister outside of my mouth, but would get ingrown hair bumps down below. I was too young to be sexually active when either would happen. So I was taken to the doctor for them as a kid and they told me it was only cankers and that they are hereditary. Makes since becasue my father got them really bad as a child as well. So when I get them now as an adult, I don't question it.

Last April I got really sick.  I became so ill that I couldnt get out of bed. Had extreme night sweats and my throat was on fire! I couldnt eat for about 2 weeks, felt like i was dying. Docs ran test and said it was some type of bad virus and prescribed antibotics. I was living with my boyfriend at the time but he never showed signs of illness. We broke up a few months later due to other circumstances.

(could that have been my first outbreak??)

Fast forward to my last obgyn visit this past May. I went in because I kept having discolored vag discharge and wanted to know if it was an std. Test read positive for C and got treated. Took prescribed meds and symptoms went away. Or did they? No. The discharge came back and this time more agressively, so my doc prescribed doxcicilne (spell check) for 2 weeks and told me it was probably a bacterial infection. He also had me take a blood test to test for all STD's (so i thought). Took those meds and began to see symptoms decrease but half way through the second week the discharge came back. Doc did an ultrasound and found cyst on both overies but said they were perfectly noramal and very small.  So thats when I took matters into my own hands and requested a full screening through an online test service. I went to my local LabCorp and had my blood drawn again. Just got the test results yesterday and everything was negative except for my HSV2 results. 

I'm currently experiencing an ulcer on my tonsil that makes it hard to swallow. I dont have sores on my genitals, infact the only time I get a bump down there is when I shave and get ingrowns. Is it possible to get H on the tonsils and nowhere else? Is it possible that the "cysts" in my overies are H?? Is it possible that those "ingrowns"  were H?  What if I had it for a very long time with no treatment? Currently inbetween insurance companies so I don't have insurance to get treated right now. FML!!!!!

[Ubikwity]

Hello,

I'm so sorry I didn't see this post until now.

Your first outbreak could have been that illness in April. The blood test would tell you if you had H, but it can't tell the site.  You may have had it in your mouth if you gave him oral sex and he transmitted H to you.

I doubt very much those cysts on your ovaries were herpes.  I've never heard of that before, and don't see how it could be physiologically possible, since transmission requires skin to skin contact (not skin to ovaries contact)  Cysts are OFTEN seen on ultrasound.  You may have been ovulating (looks like a cyst) or maybe they were just ovarian cysts--usually painless.

Yes, what you thought were in-growns may have been herpes.  The only way to know for sure is to have one of them cultured if they arise again.

Suppressive meds (I'm on Valtrex) are very helpful and reduce the rate of transmission to others.  Talk to your doctor about that.  Being on a suppressive meds give me a little peace of mind and it may do the same for you too.

 

 

 

[universalmindgame]

Thank you so much for your response. I don't think I'll go on the meds. I'm going to work on healing myself from the inside out with proper diet, exercise and celebacy of course lol. Thank you again!!

[Ishmael]

2 hours ago, universalmindgame said:

Thank you so much for your response. I don't think I'll go on the meds. I'm going to work on healing myself from the inside out with proper diet, exercise and celebacy of course lol. Thank you again!!

I think self-healing is a great idea, but don't go overboard on the celibacy. There is no reason to cut intimacy and sex out of your life, at least not in the long term (some alone time while you process is totally understandable). When you want to get back into the dating world, feel free to ask people here for advice. 

[universalmindgame]

2 hours ago, Ishmael said:

I think self-healing is a great idea, but don't go overboard on the celibacy. There is no reason to cut intimacy and sex out of your life, at least not in the long term (some alone time while you process is totally understandable). When you want to get back into the dating world, feel free to ask people here for advice. 

I agree. One day I may end up dating again but I wouldn't want to put anyone else at risk. Sure there is the option of disclosure, but I live in a small community where everyone knows everyone. I'm not brave enough to put myself out there like that just yet. Do you worry about everyone in town finding out and being judged?

[Ishmael]

1 hour ago, universalmindgame said:

I agree. One day I may end up dating again but I wouldn't want to put anyone else at risk. Sure there is the option of disclosure, but I live in a small community where everyone knows everyone. I'm not brave enough to put myself out there like that just yet. Do you worry about everyone in town finding out and being judged?

No I don't, but I don't live in a small town.  I have a "fuck you" attitude to people that would judge me, but I know that not everyone has that luxury.