Day 5. Words of wisdom encouraged

[Newme]

So today I was supposed to go to my Obgyn for a follow up. When I got there my son's father cousin (on again off again bf) was at the front desk. I left before signing in.. I'm pretty sure she now knows my Hsv status and I'm afraid she's going to disclose my information. On top of that, my son's father, who I had hoped to resume a relationship with, I haven't told. We haven't been intimate in 2 yrs so I don't think I could of contracted it from him. I think how I know he's going to take the news whenever I tell him is my real fear. He's going to look at me differently and no longer want or love me. The thought of this is debilitating. I think this is where my issue with accepting what's happening is. I'm meeting with my therapist tonight because this morning I could barely get myself together. I'm afraid of being rejected by someone I want to be accepted by so much. I also know that this is a me issue and that instead of worrying about what he might think of me instead of focusing on what I think of me. This whole ordeal has brought a lot of my self esteem issues to the surface and its forcing me to come to terms with the internal battles I've been fighting before the diagnosis. 

[Ubikwity]

So sorry for the pain you're going through. It does get better though, if you do the work that needs to be done. You already know what that is: love and accept yourself. No one's perfect (NO ONE!) , and in that sense the H doesn't make you special; you are no less deserving to feel loved than anyone else. When you are ashamed you give off the vibe that you're unworthy and that's not only just flat out wrong, but it drives away potential romantic partners. You are worthy of the love of a good man. A man who would reject you based on your H status doesn't deserve a wonderful woman like YOU.

Keep reading Adrial's posts and others on this site. Go to therapy, meditate , wash your face, fix your hair and take a walk outside and remember your blessings. These things will make you feel better.

Consider yourself hugged. You're going to be fine!

[100918]

She can't disclose your information without violating HIPAA. So, if she values her job, she will keep her mouth shut as she is legally required to do.

And you are under no obligation to tell anyone anything unless you feel that there is a real possibility of intimacy. I wouldn't worry about it until it looks like it's heading that way, and if he's not okay with that, then it's not meant to be.