Depressed .. confused

[Michgirl73]

I have been struggling so bad this week has been the worse. I just feel like my life is over and this virus has control over me for the rest of my life. Parts of me wants to die and get it over with.. every day seems like torture trying to deal with emotionally. I was infected with Ghsv1 at the end of July had ob for almost 4 weeks. I still don’t feel 100% I’m scared I’m not gna know when it comes out again. I’m currently on suppressive therapy because of my emotional pain dealing with this my doctor recommended I go on it for at least the first year. I just wonder when does it get better?? I feel like this is a bad dream and I can’t wake up. I feel like I will never feel normal down there again. I’m scared I’m gna be rejected when I date and have disclose it. I worry about everything that I isn’t making this any easier. I can’t seem to get over hating myself for believing my ex and then I get infected and he acted like it was nothing and then dumped me and went back to his ex. I feel like my life is in a million pieces .. I just wished this never happened 😢

[KRS17]

Hey, hey @Michgirl73,

 

  I've seen some of your activity on this site(I'm in MIchigan so it sticks) so I know you've been browsing around and talking a little bit.  I really REALLY encourage that.  This site is amazing for support and understanding.

 

  I'm sorry your week has been so tough.  I will be very honest when I say the first year can be a terrible rollercoaster.  But, remember it is just that.  A rollercoaster that goes down...and UP.  And yes down again but you see where I am going with this.  This virus WILL NOT have control of you for the rest of your life.  I said it in another post, but your body is an amazing mix of molecules that are reacting as we speak to deal with this devil of a virus.  It will find its' way...help by taking your antivirals, supplements like lysine, do anything that can reduce your stress(I took my first yoga class this week, I know it sounds silly but shit that class was relaxing)

 

  Your former partner?  I'd like to say F- him, but that's not constructive.  So, I'll say this.  His reaction to you and this whole situation has no reflection on who you are as a human.  You get to decide your path in life.  Yes, how people react to us certainly shades the reality we see, but..BUT what we do with it is the true color of our character and how WE choose to face this world.  The fact that you are here, reaching out, reading other stories, perhaps connecting, sympathizing, learning, says leagues about the person you are, and the great person you are being.  You're not going through this blindly, ignorantly, you are choosing to become educated and part of a community.  That, in and of itself, is a huge, wonderful thing.

 

  I understand feeling like your life is in a million pieces.  Guess who's here to help you pick them all up, rearrange them and make a beautiful picture out of the puzzle?  Me, and every person on this forum.  Keep talking to us.  We, just like you, are ALL worth it.

 

  

[Michgirl73]

5 hours ago, KRS17 said:

Hey, hey @Michgirl73,

 

  I've seen some of your activity on this site(I'm in MIchigan so it sticks) so I know you've been browsing around and talking a little bit.  I really REALLY encourage that.  This site is amazing for support and understanding.

 

  I'm sorry your week has been so tough.  I will be very honest when I say the first year can be a terrible rollercoaster.  But, remember it is just that.  A rollercoaster that goes down...and UP.  And yes down again but you see where I am going with this.  This virus WILL NOT have control of you for the rest of your life.  I said it in another post, but your body is an amazing mix of molecules that are reacting as we speak to deal with this devil of a virus.  It will find its' way...help by taking your antivirals, supplements like lysine, do anything that can reduce your stress(I took my first yoga class this week, I know it sounds silly but shit that class was relaxing)

 

  Your former partner?  I'd like to say F- him, but that's not constructive.  So, I'll say this.  His reaction to you and this whole situation has no reflection on who you are as a human.  You get to decide your path in life.  Yes, how people react to us certainly shades the reality we see, but..BUT what we do with it is the true color of our character and how WE choose to face this world.  The fact that you are here, reaching out, reading other stories, perhaps connecting, sympathizing, learning, says leagues about the person you are, and the great person you are being.  You're not going through this blindly, ignorantly, you are choosing to become educated and part of a community.  That, in and of itself, is a huge, wonderful thing.

 

  I understand feeling like your life is in a million pieces.  Guess who's here to help you pick them all up, rearrange them and make a beautiful picture out of the puzzle?  Me, and every person on this forum.  Keep talking to us.  We, just like you, are ALL worth it.

 

  

Thank you so much. I do exercise as well. Just think my depression is getting the bests of me which has made it hard. And your right it’s just so hard so days. 

[KRS17]

@Michgirl73

 

  I know.  You're not alone in how you feel or what you are going through.  Please keep reaching out...time, talking, connecting, trying, and trying again....all these things will help you to find a good path again.

[Michgirl73]

23 minutes ago, KRS17 said:

@Michgirl73

 

  I know.  You're not alone in how you feel or what you are going through.  Please keep reaching out...time, talking, connecting, trying, and trying again....all these things will help you to find a good path again.

Thank you I really am trying. On here, researching stuff to help myself and therapy and taking my medicine. Just home always that the next day gots to get better. 

[KRS17]

@Michgirl73

 

  Good, good.  Any questions at this moment that the community here might be able to talk you through?

[Michgirl73]

1 minute ago, KRS17 said:

@Michgirl73

 

  Good, good.  Any questions at this moment that the community here might be able to talk you through?

Yes I posted on oregano oil and have heard of using this? Either pill or oil. Also tanning booths do they cause outbreaks? I also am probably not gna get the flu shot because my immune system has took a big hit with this virus and heard it could cause outbreaks? What’s your thoughts? Sorry for all the questions 

[KRS17]

@Michgirl73

 

No problem, ask away!  The oregano oil I don't know about.  I do use L-lysine, about 3000mgs a day.  It definitely helps me in ob control and subsiding some of the prodrome feelings.  To the flu shot-  I must say I am not a doctor or expert by any means.  Do take these questions to your doctor as well.  In my experience, I have gotten the flu shot for years.  Never once has it caused me any kind of issue, and definitely not an outbreak.  The important thing is to keep your body as strong and as healthy as you can, so frankly the flu shot might actually be a good idea.  Maybe we can get others to weigh in on this.  One of my worst obs was when I randomly got sick(not the flu, don't know what it was), but it ran down my system and my poor body was just in revolt.  BUT, that was ONCE in about 8 years of living with this, and it was over the summertime...not flu, just a bad bout of ...something.

   As to tanning booths...yes, UV rays can be a trigger for some.  I would tread lightly here whilst you are getting your body back under your control.  You won't have to shun the sun or anything like that, but as you are learning your triggers I would not recommend it.  Also, careful with tanning beds anyway, 'cause, you know.  Can just be bad for your skin all around.

 

More?

[22&Depressed]

I know how you feel. I got diagnosed with GHSV1 in August and I fell into a very deep depression. I didn’t leave my apartment for about 2.5 weeks, my family almost had me committed for the things I was saying to them, I thought my life was over. 

It gets better with time. It hasn’t even been that long and I already feel so much better just from doing a lot of research. My whole family has HSV1 but orally and guess what? We actually have better statistics than them! They both OB nearly once every other month (30 and 55) whereas our recurrences and rates of transmission to others genitals’ is way less. We have a more MILD version of the ‘cold sore’ virus just on another body part. That’s the truth and hopefully thinking like that will make you feel better. Some days I completely forget I have it, other days are worse where I panic...so it comes and goes! But for the most part, I’ve realized it’s practically a non issue. Reach out whenever if you need to talk

[Amando]

Hi Michgirl73

It is a horrible thing to go through for anyone & healing times are different for different people but it will get better for you & you will find someone who wants you for being you.

For inspiration, there are so many people on here that I have come across that felt exactly like you, who in such a short space of time have changed to super positive.

You will get there & be stronger for it, Hugs!

 

[Michgirl73]

5 hours ago, 22&Depressed said:

I know how you feel. I got diagnosed with GHSV1 in August and I fell into a very deep depression. I didn’t leave my apartment for about 2.5 weeks, my family almost had me committed for the things I was saying to them, I thought my life was over. 

It gets better with time. It hasn’t even been that long and I already feel so much better just from doing a lot of research. My whole family has HSV1 but orally and guess what? We actually have better statistics than them! They both OB nearly once every other month (30 and 55) whereas our recurrences and rates of transmission to others genitals’ is way less. We have a more MILD version of the ‘cold sore’ virus just on another body part. That’s the truth and hopefully thinking like that will make you feel better. Some days I completely forget I have it, other days are worse where I panic...so it comes and goes! But for the most part, I’ve realized it’s practically a non issue. Reach out whenever if you need to talk

Omg yes.. going through the same somedays are good other days I feel like dying. The emotional roller coaster is hard to deal with. I keep thinking I wish I could go back and change this.. but I can’t wake up from this horrible nightmare. Thank u for responding I really all it.

[Michgirl73]

1 hour ago, Amando said:

Hi Michgirl73

It is a horrible thing to go through for anyone & healing times are different for different people but it will get better for you & you will find someone who wants you for being you.

For inspiration, there are so many people on here that I have come across that felt exactly like you, who in such a short space of time have changed to super positive.

You will get there & be stronger for it, Hugs!

 

Thank you! Sometimes I wonder if this was a horrible price I paid for believing in someone that had my best interests and said they cared and loved me and turned around givime this virus and dropping me like I was nothing. I’m just trying so hard to remain positive and that this will get better.. but some days I see no hope only rejection and pain and suffering for the rest of my life.