KRS17

@Michgirl73 No problem, ask away! The oregano oil I don't know about. I do use L-lysine, about 3000mgs a day. It definitely helps me in ob control and subsiding some of the prodrome feelings. To the flu shot- I must say I am not a doctor or expert by any means. Do take these questions to your doctor as well. In my experience, I have gotten the flu shot for years. Never once has it caused me any kind of issue, and definitely not an outbreak. The important thing is to keep your body as strong and as healthy as you can, so frankly the flu shot might actually be a good idea. Maybe we can get others to weigh in on this. One of my worst obs was when I randomly got sick(not the flu, don't know what it was), but it ran down my system and my poor body was just in revolt. BUT, that was ONCE in about 8 years of living with this, and it was over the summertime...not flu, just a bad bout of ...something. As to tanning booths...yes, UV rays can be a trigger for some. I would tread lightly here whilst you are getting your body back under your control. You won't have to shun the sun or anything like that, but as you are learning your triggers I would not recommend it. Also, careful with tanning beds anyway, 'cause, you know. Can just be bad for your skin all around. More?

@Michgirl73 Good, good. Any questions at this moment that the community here might be able to talk you through?

@Michgirl73 I know. You're not alone in how you feel or what you are going through. Please keep reaching out...time, talking, connecting, trying, and trying again....all these things will help you to find a good path again.

Hey, hey @Michgirl73, I've seen some of your activity on this site(I'm in MIchigan so it sticks) so I know you've been browsing around and talking a little bit. I really REALLY encourage that. This site is amazing for support and understanding. I'm sorry your week has been so tough. I will be very honest when I say the first year can be a terrible rollercoaster. But, remember it is just that. A rollercoaster that goes down...and UP. And yes down again but you see where I am going with this. This virus WILL NOT have control of you for the rest of your life. I said it in another post, but your body is an amazing mix of molecules that are reacting as we speak to deal with this devil of a virus. It will find its' way...help by taking your antivirals, supplements like lysine, do anything that can reduce your stress(I took my first yoga class this week, I know it sounds silly but shit that class was relaxing) Your former partner? I'd like to say F- him, but that's not constructive. So, I'll say this. His reaction to you and this whole situation has no reflection on who you are as a human. You get to decide your path in life. Yes, how people react to us certainly shades the reality we see, but..BUT what we do with it is the true color of our character and how WE choose to face this world. The fact that you are here, reaching out, reading other stories, perhaps connecting, sympathizing, learning, says leagues about the person you are, and the great person you are being. You're not going through this blindly, ignorantly, you are choosing to become educated and part of a community. That, in and of itself, is a huge, wonderful thing. I understand feeling like your life is in a million pieces. Guess who's here to help you pick them all up, rearrange them and make a beautiful picture out of the puzzle? Me, and every person on this forum. Keep talking to us. We, just like you, are ALL worth it.

Thank you, so glad this could help a little!

@Hereforher Well, like it was said above, you are doing a huge amount just by listening and being there for her. Notgoingthere has a good point, to try to get her mind off of it. We do tend to get down on ourselves during outbreaks. We're uncomfortable, often self conscience, and often distracted. Perhaps an activity she enjoys, going out to a movie, or concert or just taking a walk? In part, I think a key is subtly, as if she realizes that you are doing something too out of the norm it could possibly trigger a touch of anxiety or shame if she feels like it's become an "issue" that needs to be taken care of. It really depends on her mindset. I dont know how helpful we've been, but I hugely applaud you for reaching out to ask. If there is anything else, you know where we all are 🙂 Cheers!

@Simplethingsinlife Female here, but was in a five year relationship with a HSV2+ man, was negative going in, negative after the relationship ended. Used condoms, abstained during outbreaks, he was on anti virals.

@Dreamer07, dang it, now you're making my eyes a little damp too! I am just so thankful that I helped you some. Please feel free to reach out to me at any time, privately message if you want. I'm 38, and have been dealing with this for about 8 years, so I was just about your age when my symptoms presented, and based on a lot of what you've said, I have gone through some of what you are experiencing. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I've got a good ear, and obviously like to type 🙂 Take care of yourself, and again, I, and this community are here for you.

@Dreamer07 I know how that feels. All the words are right, but when they get to being a little touchy feely, it can add guilt to all the other emotions that we are sorting through. It's a catch 22 where you want him to be attracted to you, but right now you don't want to act on that attraction. Which is all absolutely a common response to this diagnosis. I think that him getting tested too will ease everyone's mind a little. He'll obviously be positive for hsv1, but hopefully it could put to rest other worries to make sure you're both clear of hsv2, hpv, etc. If he could possibly be tested when he's presenting with the bump on his shaft so it can be swabbed and you both can know for sure if he's ghsv1 positive as well as ohsv1 positive. Knowledge is power here. Sometimes, sex can be a trigger for an OB. When you are ready, my suggestion is to be gentle at first until you know how your body is going to respond to the friction. Suppressive therapy is good, and if you were interested many of us supplement with Lysine as well. As to protection...that's dependent on test results and personal preference. With him having ohsv1 and you having ghsv1 obviously you receiving oral without barrier is no problem. Now we have to work with probabilities- you have the hsv1 antibodies in your system. You may never know if you carry ohsv1. Outside of him getting swabbed when the bump appears on his shaft, it's hard to say if he presents ghsv1, as he will also be carrying the antibodies for hsv1 from his oral infection. So SO many people have ohsv1 and many of those never get a cold sore so they never know they are carrying, and many don't pass on the virus. So, let's make an assumption that though you are ghsv1 pos, you are not ohsv1 pos. Next assumption is that aside from his ohsv1+, he is also ghsv1+. You kiss him without pause, does that translate to being able to give oral sex without pause? If there is a pause, throw a condom on him. Same formula when we are talking about vaginal intercourse. I think for now, until all test results are in, protection may ease your mind a little more even though a minimal risk still exists. You may never know what he knew/suspected. As I am sure you've read on this site, there are people who find out 20 years later that they are a carrier and never had a clue. He very honestly could have had no idea of the risks, could have no idea he may carry genitally. If you knew from the beginning that he had ohsv1 then to an extent disclosure was made and risks were accepted. You two obviously care for each other, and are working to move forward together, so maybe focusing on that future can help stop the buzzing in your head of the "what ifs"? Get the both of you tested, full screen for everything. Be patient with yourself, and open with him about your wants/needs. Ask him about his wants/needs(besides sex... men:) ). Please don't rush yourself in anyway. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself, whether that's a workout, a hair cut, a pedicure, whatever used to make you feel sexy and good about yourself. Take your time, there is no pressure here to do or be anything or way until you are ready to be so. And for goodness sake's, go out and enjoy your birthday!! If you are ready and want to have sex, great! If not, then that's is absolutely just fine too- it's YOUR birthday, your body, your life. Take it all in the timeline that works for you. Phew, that got long, sorry!

This is an important, and yes, polarizing post. Without taking sides, could anyone enlighten on the law? My (limited) understanding of the law looks for intent in a criminal case. Am I correct? Would OregonH, have to, if he chose to, prove intent of a malicious act or something akin to negligence to make a lawsuit move forward? I'm not saying either is right or wrong right now...I am just curious if there is a criminal culpability that could stand up in court here?

Hey @Dreamer07, First things first, even though you feel like it at times, you are NOT disgusting and God is certainly not punishing you. You're not wrong, the stigma does work in weird ways, but the important thing to remember is you are not alone, and again, not disgusting in any way. We as a community are absolutely here to support you through what we all know can be a very trying time. That being said, as to getting your "sexy back". May I ask how you and your boyfriend are communicating through this time? Do you feel he is being supportive as you adjust to your new reality, is he being patient, hearing you out as you express your feelings? Are you upset or angry or feeling betrayed at all for having been infected by him? I know these are invasive questions, but I ask because sometimes how we react to the world around us, and how that applies to our own image of ourselves can be directly impacted by those closest to us, intentionally or not. At the end of the day, it is of course up to you to decide how you want to face the world, and how you choose to react and respond to the trials and tribulations it brings. Sadly though, a heavy heart makes the long view really, really blurry. So if you want to talk about it, take it one step at a time. We are here, patiently listening.

Hey @verysadgirl, I wish I could come with better news than Michgirl73, but she's direct and correct. Though, without an outbreak and on suppressants, and for the fact hsv2 much prefers the genital region, the risk is greatly reduced. Dental dams, just like a condom on a male reduce these risks further. It does always pose a risks, and demands precautions, and of course disclosure, but I promise you can still enjoy a healthy, active sex life, and in the right time with the right person it can absolutely include oral. Continue to reach out if you have more questions/concerns, this community is here for you!

Hi @DarkUnicorn Firstly, I am sorry you found yourself here, but I am glad that you made your way to this site. I hope it helps you, as it's done for me. That being said...as well as your antivirals, I recommend taking Lysine as a supplement. I'm not sure on the science, but it helps out loads of us here both easing symptoms and outbreaks. For immediate discomfort, many people have found relief with oatmeal baths, or other topical treatments like that can help. Cool compresses, as the virus loves warm places can help as well. Also, double check with your doc that you are not dealing with a bacterial issue as well...that happened to me once thinking it was all H related and I actually needed an antibiotic to help my body fight an infection that presented the same.

Im ohsv1+, have been for about 8 years(and suspect ghsv1+ as well, but haven't been able to catch the symptoms in time to swab at dr.'s office)....but about two years ago I had shingles presenting up and down my left arm. Very mild on the rash part, it was the weird nerve reaction that I really noticed. My doc knew of my hsv1 diagnosis, and ran a few other tests to make sure other things were running fine as shingles in a 30-something is rare-ish. Everything came back clear. Me getting shingles had nothing to do with my hsv1 status, nor any other underlying issue. Just a random issue that thankfully cleared quickly. I share because I totally understand the urge to connect all these random issues, and yes sometimes they do connect...but in my case they did not. Just bad luck/timing as it seems. So as difficult as it is, my advice, especially without insurance, is to talk to your primary care physician about your symptoms like they are separate issues. I know the negative results can be frustrating beyond belief, as one searches for an answer to why our bodies are revolting; but try to take it one symptom at a time. In the meantime of course do take the best care of yourself that you can, and remember there is a huge support group here for you! Cheers, K

Hey @Findingmyself, Though I applaud your emotional response to try and comfort another human being...you have no reason nor obligation to talk about what you are going through unless you really want to. The only people in your world you need to talk about this with is your doctor and people you're going to be intimate with. There is no reason you should feel any shame for not talking about this with the people you're around, UNLESS YOU WANT TO. I've read many posts on here about people scared to tell parents, siblings, coworkers, etc...well, there is no reason to unless you want to reach out for their support. In my life of being hsv+ for about 8 years or so..the only people I've told were potential sexual partners, one very close friend who had already told me of her experience, and to a limited extent my mother because I just tell her everything. The workplace is rarely a good place for intimacies of any sort, frankly, but I really don't want you to feel bad/awkward/guilty about anything because you have NO reason to. I know this can be a difficult time as someone recently diagnosed, so may I recommend...before you start worrying too much about who to talk to about what..talk to us here more. Best support group you'll find. Cheers, we are her for you.