New to this herpes forum but so happy I've found this community!

[nic4897]

I was diagnosed with herpes 6 years ago. The person I was with didn't know he had it. I was not given the choice in a disclosure. I have been very hard on myself ever since and swore I would never date anyone that didn't have it. The thought of passing herpes to someone else even if by their own choice was a terrible thought for me. What I didn't realize was that 1) I was choosing people because they had it and not because I generally found a connection and 2) I was being cowardly by bypassing ever having to go through with a disclosure or "the herpes talk."

 

I know having my first talk will be very hard. I think this is the first step toward me finding a lasting emotional connection versus settling from looking in a very small universe of people that are open about it on a dating website for people with herpes. I think by being open to dating in general, I will have set a positive affirmation to the universe that I am ready to find a genuinely compatible partner no matter the obstacle, even if the obstacle admits something I can still barely admit about myself. Soooo, anyone wanna be an "H" buddy? I could definitely use the support and will definitely offer the same in return. :)

[mr_hopp]

Hey Nic!

 

Welcome to the community! I'm glad you've found our community, too!

 

I love how self-aware you're becoming through this. Herpes can become an excuse for us to not lean into our edge of discomfort. So much of the time, it's not really about herpes; it's about our own fear of intimacy — our fear of being vulnerable in the area of love and sexuality. Herpes just tends to magnify our own self-defeating beliefs and fears that we've always had in this area of our lives (hence, why ultimately it's an opportunity to face all of these head on and intentionally shift them into self-acceptance). Here's an article on that:

http://herpeslife.com/is-herpes-your-excuse-to-not-live-your-life

 

... and here's the thread to tack onto in order to find an H Buddy!

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/223/need-someone-to-talk-to-herpes-buddies#Item_163

[nic4897]

Thank you so much!

[lulu87]

Hi Nic! I'd love to be an H buddy of yours. Can you send me a message? I'm not sure how but I know how to get them! lol