Anonymous88

Yeah I have always been healthy and apart from now having this,I haven't been ill at all this year but this is effecting my sleep. I am a working single parent so am always on the go as I have a home,work,child and pets to look after with just being me to do it all. I make sure I sleep well apart from when I have a outbreak that disturbs my sleep. I also read that there is no medical proof that you need to adjust your life style at all. Obviously the obvious factors of getting plenty of sleep and not drinking alcohol is the same for a person whether you have herpes or not. I just thought surely my body would of created enough anti bodies to fight this by now.

Hi, From the research I have done hsv1 is oral and hsv2 is genital. Hsv1 can be transferred through oral sex to genitals to then get hsv2 but genital herpes usually only stays from the waist down but has a very small percentage that it could be transferred to the mouth from oral sex but usually you have the anti bodies to fight infection if you are already diagnosed with genital herpes hsv2. I also live in the uk and herpes.org.uk is very helpful and you can also contact them who will help answer any questions that you may have they are brilliant!

I had my first horrendous hsv2 outbreak in February this year that took nearly two months to heal this one blister to then go on to having 9 outbreaks in thr space of 5 months,went on supressive therapy of two a day of acyclovir and didn't have an outbreak for a couple of months and had another outbreak 10 days ago which is still happening and multiplying all over. When one starts to try and heal another one or more develop. My doctor prescribed me to have 3 a day tablets which I have started today and more are developing. I am ready to burst in to tears and feel like screaming Anyone else gone through the same? This is ruining my life and if I am like this forever there is 0 chance for me to find love or to even live with this keep happening. I am going out my mind 😢

@PhillyChick I am so happy for you that life has worked out great and hasn't affected it but I am afraid it isn't that easy for all and feels way more than a skin condition. It is for me a pain in my life. My first outbreak was horrendous that it effected my work as I couldn't walk,was in extreme amount of pain,I raise my son completely on my own so could barely look after him and take him to school,couldn't walk our dog,had the ambulance round because I had a fit as my body couldn't take the severe pain I was in all that from just one blister. I have since then had 9 outbreaks in the space of 5 months one after another, now on supressive therapy and had a few months of feeling back to myself again until bam another outbreak that has lasted now for over a week and still not gone. I was open with someone 7 years older than me who said I really like you but you having a std that there is no cure for has put me off you and with some other stuff he said it made me feel like I was a walking death sentence and that if I was to date I should be on a std app to just date/relationship with someone else who has a lifetime std. I know what your saying that yes it is a skin condition but the fact is there is no cure and to this day the doctors don't test for it so people who don't have outbreaks can live their life freely but pass it on to people that then have to suffer who do. I am on medication that has to be taken by clock work now to try ease the outbreaks and I now have to disclose to any one I get intimate to do the right thing.

@Amando

I have never been rejected for that but I see what you mean. As in being a single parent/having a licence but no longer have a car due to the running costs of it have put guys off me for those reasons but having this is far worse than those things as I am stuck with this for life and my body hasn't reacted well to it 😞 I went to the doctors yesterday to talk about it and although she was very lovely she had to read off a website and google which is ridiculous I thought supposedly its supposed to be he most common std and a large population have it then why is it not all medical professionals are not educated enough about it. I was more educated on it than her. I can see now why people arn't honest about their std status (I on the other hand have always been honest and respectful even before having this) I was with a guy who told me he had it but doesnt suffer from outbreaks in a long time but I never recall him telling me before we had sex but I never knew about it fully and liked the guy so I never spoke anymore about it as I accepted him for who he was and I NEVER contracted it from him and as we were together two years for the majority of that time together we never used protection and had a very good sex life and the reason we broke up is because I found him too inmature for me so it was nothing to do with him having hsv2 and if anything I never even thought of it till being diagnosed myself. But the guy I got it from fed me lies saying he was clean blah blah blah and was suffering fron flu type symptoms that week but said he felt better than he had a swollen lymph node under his arm and then stopped talking to me after I told him that I have found a small lump and what it was so it all added up but can't change time now as whats done is done.

@Amando I'm terrified now of it happening again. I want to end my life. I really wish I had the bit of confidence and hope you are saying but I haven't anymore. I am a emotional mess. Five days ago I have had a itchy tiny lump that wasn't painful and I then had sores developing on either side and this this morning another small lump has come up on where my underwear rubs it is hurting me when I'm walking to work so had to put a plaster over it which is gonna be painful to remove later. Feeling defeated

Thank you for your response. I didn't actually feel he was the right guy for me as he was older and wasn't sure yet with that if we had much in common but regardless I was more hurt at the fact he then rejected me and I did not take rejection well. I felt I wasn't respected for my honestly and that suddenly I was treated differently. He told me since I disclosed "I was trying to be nice to you" ..the word that stands out to me is "trying" just because I have this I don't deserve to be treated nicely or that you all of a sudden have to start acting a different way towards me when all I have ever been is nice towards him. "Just a thought you should go on the std dating websites" This hurt hearing this,although it may be helpful and work well for some. Personally for me the thought of having to go on a std site makes me feel like I am giving in to this and that I am then only being able to find a relationship with std sufferers only. Made me want to say back "Well maybe you should go on a arseh0le dating wesbite because that is how you are coming across" ignoring all my good qualities and me as a person just based on now that I have a std. He kept using the words "That's why I was put off you" could of worded it better. It's now sounding like I am a walking death sentence. He had obviously some time after we had sex look into genital herpes and said that it scared him the whole H thing. I tried my dam hardest with educating him on it and that just because I had it,did not mean he will as he is less likely getting it from me as I am controlling it by lowering risks and obviously any sign of an outbreak then we avoid sex. But nothing would make him see it differently and being rejected and treated in a different way was hard to swallow. I noticed and brought up that he had a shaving rash down there and how he didn't know if he already had it and he was quick enough to get defensive and justify it so it just shows that how I was being wasn't over reacting because when I bought him out in that he was quick to jump and justify the reasons it just makes me laugh and then said "I will keep your privacy" which I then told him I have nothing to be private about,its not a secret as otherwise I wouldn't be having this whole conversation now in the first place and then he blocked me once I was quick to judge him. It does make me suicidal and depressed but then I felt that way before having hsv2 which is why I choose now to be completely alone as to be judged and rejected is just completely shattering. My son's dad told me a while back (he did not give me any std as we were together from young and for a long time) that I will be alone and miserable forever (he cheated and moved straight on with her and left me raising my son alone) those words will always stay with me and I am so worried that these words he said may be true 😭 It's 2am and I just can't sleep because of all this on my mind.

Thanks Amando, glad to know I'm not the only one this has happened to and can understand why I feel so hurt. Just showed that I wasn't ready to be intimate as quickly as he was and I need to put my foot down. I'm not gonna lie this has now put me off and am taking a step back from trying to date and realise I am probably better being on my own and not have any sort of love life. I really don't like all this having to disclose and wouldn't have any intimacy without being honest before hand so I just don't want to put myself out there anymore. Being in my first year of having an incurable std makes me feel like I am a risk to anyone who hasn't got it or doesn't know they have it. The amount of outbreaks I have had since getting this from a guy who didn't disclose to me would be hard on a relationship anyway to be intimate as I can't be freely intimate in a relationship like I used to be. Dating has been shit the past 5 years before being diagnosed with herpes but adding this on top is just way too much for me to have to deal with.

Thanks Sumshine for your message. It makes me feel a bit more at comfort to know that the outbreaks will get less. I am in my first year and had one after the other at the beginning then I went on suppresive therapy and felt much better as I wasn't getting any outbreaks so felt like I could get on with life and feeling more like me again until 3 months later I get an outbreak that is lasting a week at the moment. Although it is much milder than previous ones it just has sent me feeling a bit crap again panicking now that even daily meds can't stop them completely and that I will be having these several times a year which will then stop me having the chance of a intimate relationship 😞

Thank you for responding. I can't stop crying. I am sooo hurt and just want to lock myself away. I am so embarressed to be rejected over this. It's so hard to date as it is these days and especially now having to open up about having herpes makes it even scarier for people to judge you purely on that and not everything else you have to offer to someone. I see where you would think that but when I mentioned it he did seem a bit worried but still carried on. He hadn't had sex for ages so I feel used. He just had some time to think about it after and decided he didn't want to risk it. I feel I am gonna be a very miserable alone single parent. I am struggling to be happy having to do everything on my own without anyone to lean on and because of that feel I am not being the best mum I can be feeling sad and crying

I feel recently I have shared a few posts and it has gone from being very positive and seeing things in a much better uplifting way to feeling rejected and disappointed. I first disclosed to a guy 7 months after finding out I have hsv2 on our second date. I dated him for two months and he took it very well and never made it a big deal and just sort of shrugged it off by saying that "I was just unlucky" and he never made me feel bad about myself so I felt very uplifted to feel that even though I was petrified telling him that it was a success. After that ended due to his work commitments I then went on a date with a guy 7 years older than me aswel as talking to him for a couple of weeks. We got on well and was invited round his on our 2nd date for lunch. I really didn't have in my mind at all that we would end up having sex as I wasn't ready to tell him but as things were suddenly heading that way I told him that I have herpes. He continued kissing me and I asked him if he found it a problem at all and he said a little bit but then continued and we had sex. We continued to talk afterwards (nothing about my herpes status) when suddenly I receive a text from him this morning to say that he had been thinking about the whole herpes thing and that he really likes me but the herpes thing is a game changer, and said if he would more than likely become a carrier and if down the line we split up then it would cause issues with future relations for him. I am so hurt especially as I was honest and yet he still slept with me and has now changed his mind. I am really upset about this as I feel I had been honest and respectful and look where it got me. It really has knocked all my confidence and I do not want to be putting myself out there again only to be left feeling worse. Just makes me think if I wasn't honest with him he would be none the wiser but I thought I was doing the right thing 😢 It's not so much that I am upset about him as I have never seemed to find a nice guy for the 5 years I have been single but it is more so the fact he messed with my feelings and feel used ans the biggest rejected.

No it just shows that I don't need them if I am eating the right foods that already have it in I guess. I don't have a shower so I only have hot baths anyway and find salt helps if I do have an outbreak. Mine could possibly be lack of sleep aswel as lots of alcohol but I will keep an eye on any future ones and take note of what could trigger it. Thank you for your advice

Yeah it is one of the side effects to it. I probably eat some foods that have lysine in so when I take tablets aswel my body just doesn't need it. Thank you for reminding me of this site as I was recommended it when I was first diagnosed and forgot all about it. If you don't mind me asking how long have you had hsv2 for and do you find your outbreaks are getting less frequent and fewer with time?

Thank you for your message. I tried taking lysine tablets but it kept making me need a toilet all the time so had to stop then. I do generally have a good amount of sleep usually 7 and a half hours atleast but due to going out both saturday nights in a row I have lost some sleep so that is probably why I am possibly having an outbreak as my body is probably trying to recover from that.

Just to follow on from this post I have had my first outbreak since being on suppressive therapy since August. It hasn't been painful at all like previous ones just irratating more than anything as it is just itchy like a bite which is what I thought it was at first as it doesn't look like a blister just a tiny lump and is at the top. Re assured by this that least on daily meds it has stopped it being painful and I did have very rough sex last week and have been out drinking two weekends in a row so to be honest it's probably my body telling me to slow down.

I had horrendous pain when I had my first outbreak in February 2018 this year and kept getting outbreaks one after the other with one of them being extremley painful again. I began suppressive therapy 3 months ago by taking two acyclivor tablets each day,one in the morning and one in the evening and what I thought was just a bite a few days ago ended up developing into a small blister ,before it turned into a visable blister I shaved the area thinking it could be a hair irratating my skin but now I can see it is visable I have made it worse by now having a few blisters on the other side. They are extremley itchy but luckily not painful at the moment. I was hoping being on suppressive therapy that I will be lucky enough to not get outbreaks but unfortunetely three months in I am now experiencing an outbreak. Because I have made it spread by stupidly shaving do you think my next outbreak I will now be having more than one sore or not? Does it just vary with each reaccurance? For those of you who have had hsv2 for a year or so now has it got better and how many outbreaks do you have per year as I am worried slightly that with daily meds it isn't strong enough to keep this under control?

I first got diagnosed with hsv2 in February this year and it really hit me hard emotionally and even though I only had one small lump come up the pain from it was horrendous for my first outbreak, due to the stress of it I kept getting outbreaks one after the other so eventually got prescribed suppressive therapy where I take one acyclovir in the morning and one at night. Since doing this I have NEVER experienced and outbreak since and because of this its now not a big deal as it is not getting in the way of my day to day life. The only thing that is different is to be upfront and honest with anyone new I am dating before sexual intercourse and obviously the daily medication which is no different from me taking a daily contraceptive pill. I just wanted to share this as I too was devastated but I wanted to let others know that it does get better if you can control it. I do get soo nervous and can't look a guy in the eye when I do disclose but I feel better that least I can be open and honest and not down the line feel I am hiding a dark secret. I tend to disclose on the second date as for me I would much rather get it out the way then get too attached to someone and them not accept the fact I do carry the virus. It hasn't effected my sex life in any way and have learnt that I was just unlucky and that's the risk when having sex as the only way to avoid this is to never have sex at all in your life time. At the beginning I found it then hard to love myself and felt my body was infected as a whole but not anymore and with that takes time and I also found opening up to close friends or family about it really does help. I read an article on google uk once and that really did help change my prespective over it. The lady wrote in the article that for every person who has had a cold sore in their life time do they put cling film over their lips each time they kiss someone (especially reading all this shedding of the virus when there is no visable outbreak) which is ridiculous and I guarentee everyone you ask would say No.. So reading that then made me think so why is it any different for someone with genital herpes to have articles telling them that they MUST use a condom at all times (even though you can still get the virus) is absolutely I think a load of crap. If you know the signs to look out for if you feel an outbreak is coming on then obviously your not going to then have sexual intercourse And also if you disclose to the person before you have sexual intercourse then they know the risks and you have done your part by being open and honest Medication such as acylovir reduces the amount of outbreaks and its severity I have NEVER had anyone disclose to me that they suffer from cold sores or once did in their life so why should someone with hsv2 be made to think that we are basically a walking risk for anyone that comes near us. Trust me when reading this that it really isn't the end of the world and you can have a healthy sex life like everyone else and that 70% of the uk has it and unfortunately nobody educates you regarding herpes in sex education as I never knew anything about this virus until I was diagnosed and guys I have disclosed to know very little or nothing at all till you explain it so it is crazy to me this day and age with it especially being so common why people still arn't being made aware of it. Take care and thanks for taking the time to read it. Really hope I can shed some light and change peoples views on it 🙂

Aw Thank you for messaging me and it has given me hope that hopefully the longer I have this for then the less outbreaks I will have whether I take medication or not. I suppose feeling on edge about it daily doesn't help but hoping in time with each year I will become less bothered by it depending on how outbreaks are once I come off daily meds. How many years in was it when you started to only get one outbreak a year?

Hi, I have a question. I am in my first year of contracting hsv2 and haf back to back very painful ourbreaks at the beginning so after months of hell I was finally put on suppresive therapy which has helped amazingly although I do worry if I feel a slight pinch that randomly comes and goes now and again but luckily no visable sore. I am wondering if you have had hsv2 for that many years have you found your outbreaks have reduced dramatically and if so how much by and does it get better year by year? I am a single parent and juggling work so life can be a tad stressful at times which I am doing everything on my power to try not be as I am paranoid that stress will set an outbreak off but can't completely avoid stress as it's just life. Any advice would be appreciated thanks

I was diagnosed in February and it is still all very raw in my mind. I think about it everyday annoyingly and worry at any slight pinch I feel down there. Due to constant painfull outbreaks I have been put on daily suppressive meds since August and they seem to be working great luckily as I haven't seen any blisters down there since being on them but I did wonder how long people have been on the daily medication for? I have been given a 6 month supply of them but I am worried if I am very going to be confortable coming off them in fear of constant painful outbreaks again. Is there any harm being on them daily for life? Also how long has people had hsv2 for and if you had regular outbreaks in your first year did they get better by each year you have had this for? If so how many outbreaks do you get per year? I know it varies by each person but I just want to know to prepare myself and fir reassurance if this does get better. Luckily I have been dating a guy recently who I opened up to on the second date as I didn't want to invest any more time with somebody and get my heart broken if he was to run a mile but he hasn't he completely understood and put my mind at ease and if anything he was the one reassuring me that it's just one of those things and I was unlucky which was a more positive response seen as I was being apologetic and shaking as I was so nervous haha so I could of been a bit better prepared to talk about it especially as I started it off with I need to give you the talk haha..cringing but regardless it all worked out better than I expected luckily! I just can't have that attitude as if hsv2 is nothing as to me being my first year and having such a horrible start with it and posts that I have read to say don't let it effect your life..well for me it does, I constantly think about it if I was to wake up and feel a pinch or how I am gonna be for the rest of my life, the thought of having to come off the tablets to be back to painful outbreaks that affected my life and raising my 6 year old alone. I keep thinking back to the guy who carelessly passed it to me and I soo wish I never met him as he really wasn't worth any of my time or me but you can't unfortunetely go back and change it. There was hope with the hsv2 vaccine that they were confident about and hoped it would be available in 5 years but last night I read a recent news report (I live in the UK) that it hadn't worked and they have now stopped trying to create one now. This has been very sad and disappointing for me as I feel like the hope of not having to live with this forever has been blown out. Why std's were never made to be an important topic in school I never know. It was always about preventing pregnancy. I never knew anything about herpes apart till I caught it just before my 30th birthday. All I heard of it before was that you have it then for life but no body ever educates you beforehand. I have always been open about stds before having sex with somebody but unfortunetely there are people who are lazy about their own health and don't tell you the truth and I now have to continue living and suffering the consequences.

Thank you so much for sharing..this gives me hope for the future! 😁

Thanks Sumshine for your advice, I am finally on daily meds as this different doctor I spoke to said I have been through enough suffering and didn't understand why the female doctor was just letting it go on this long. What do you mean by it sounds a bit fishy, as in you think he was aware that he did have it or he generally just thought it was flu? I suppose either way it could be but due to him just presuming it was ok to go unprotected and reassure me that all is fine..I have learnt from this the hard way and in the future won't let anyone persuade me differently and stick to my guns. That's if I do go on in the future to meeting someone. When my 9 year relationship with my son's dad 5 years ago ended, I have learnt that its rare to find old fashioned romance anymore and that guys who I have come across just want to sleep around and on to the next with no commitment. I know I am worthy of much more so I am remaining single and focusing purely on my son and if I end up alone then so be it but I am not going to allow myself to be treated that way.

Thanks Sarah,I really hope in time and now on daily meds that I will see much improvement and be able to fully get on with life pain free x