Anonymous88

It doesn't sound like a herpes sore to me, best to not squeeze it and just have a warm bath in the evening and pat dry. It is most probably an ingrown hair. It should go away on it's own just don't shave over it.

No problem. I went from not knowing about herpes at all until a guy knowingly gave it to me but didn't tell me, to now having to educate myself on it and seem to know more than some of the doctors at the gp surgery now haha. It has made me soo paranoid so completely understand how that feels. Take care

No judgement here at all, so please don't worry about that. Yes your right the other entry would be through mucous membranes. Try not to stress over it,Hopefully all is fine but it's good you are aware of this as I had no idea with herpes and that you could still pass it even with condoms.

If your circumcised it does reduce the risk but as herpes is a skin condition depending on where it is it could still be transferred through a break in the skin. They don't test for it here in the uk unless you have a sore to swab so I would just keep an eye on it. The more sexual partners you have the more likely you are to get it so with her being a sex worker she is at more risk of it being transferred to her as unfortunetely condoms don't offer full protection.

I'm from the uk so they say its just hsv1 for cold sores and from waist down it is hsv2 as its a sore on the genitals. When I asked the lady at the clinic as they don't test for herpes unless you have an active swab to be swabbed for a diagnosis she said that I don't have to tell someone and there is no law on telling someone if you have herpes as a lot of people don't know they have it anyway seen as they don't test for it and because I am doing everything I can by taking daily meds and if I was to have sex in the future then use condoms till I feel comfortable enough in a relationship to then stop using then it is my choice if I want to let them know. Because I am sooo petrified of catching something else that you can get through having sex with a condom I will most likely get them to come do a full std test before being intimate anyway as I don't want to risk myself getting another one.

It is funny how people feel differently. As I feel relieved to have hs2 and not hsv1 but my friend has hsv1 and she pulled a face when I told her I had hsv2 but either way when you look at it,its all the same,it reacts the same and its both contagious.

Nope not at all,try not think like that as at the end of the day it is just a job. Try not to let it worry you and enjoy the moment,Take time in getting to know each other as the more he feels there is something there then further down the line you can then feel much more confident and trusting to have the talk. If it helps reassure you,you can go on daily suppressive therapy and there is then less likely to transfer it. Best of luck!

@Feelingblue Just wondered how it all went whether you told him and how he reacted after making that comment?

I went to the clinic yesterday as I was worried about whether I was getting regular outbreaks turns out that she confirmed that in February because the pain I experienced was so painful it was confirmed that it was definitely a bartholin cyst that I had and then had my 1st outbreak sore in March when I was swabbed positive for hsv2, in April I experienced a very painful outbreak on my vulva which was extremely painful when passing urine and ever since then I have been very alert to any thing that I then think may be an outbreak. I remember going to a clinic before and she saying she can't see any sore even though I could see bumps and felt itchy and a slight burn feeling now and again. She checked yesterday and she couldn't see a thing and gave me some Olatium cream to soothe my skin as it seemed slightly sore either side which I told her was most probably from me pouring table salt over me in the bath everyday for a week thinking it was an outbreak even though there was no open sore. Checked in the mirror that evening when I got back and realised that all this time I have been worrying over what I thought was an outbreak was actually nothing but a bump(s) from shaving and clothing friction and when I read up on it,it confirmed that they can be itchy and have a small burning feel to them at times or if hair is growing back it can be itchy. So I feel sooo much better and relieved to know I was panicking over nothing,I suffer with ocd over washing my hands so when diagnosed with hsv2 and being a natural worrier it was making me paranoid and forgetting about how it was before my diagnosis when I had a slight itch now and again when hair would be growing back or if I had a few shaving bumps. I wouldn't of gave it a thought before or be worried about it but because I now have hsv2 I wasn't sure if it was herpes and this explains why they never looked like a typical herpes breakout because all along they wasn't. Hopefully this can re-assure other people who have panicked like I have.

Regarding the uk clinics not testing people for hsv2 or hsv1 unless they have a fresh sore that they can swab to diagnose. I asked the lady at the clinic why they don't test for this as it puts people like myself in risk of catching it without people knowing their sti status and she said because a swab gives an accurate result where as a blood test doesn't always pick up anti bodies so people don't get an accurate result this way so you could get a negative blood test result for hsv2 but still carry it.

@TopJimmy This bit does make me question when you say "The problem is that she lives 2 hours away and has kids as well just like me so neither one of us is moving. If she didn’t have the virus it would be easier to just have and go with it but knowing that she does has made me look deeper into whether or not this would even work out long term which at this point due to th distance and our kids I just don’t see it happening" (so bearing in mind,you are aware it will be difficult to maintain a relationship because you both live far apart) So if she didn't have hsv2 or didn't know she had it you would be then willing to sleep with her knowing that you will never pursue a relationship anyway because of distance. I think you need to maybe think of dating people closer to home or otherwise with this woman it seems to me you would only be then having sex with her anyway knowing that there is no chance of a relationship unless of course she was accepting that this won't become of anything else then that's fine. I believe just because I now have hsv2 doesn't make me the "risky one" I believe it makes it even more scarier for us as we don't want to take the chance of catching something else so I am most likely from now on go to a sti clinic with the guy before intimacy as by experience of catching this from a guy he knew had it but said he was "clean and never had any problems" I can't now accept what someone tells me as unfortunetely not everyone in the world is honest. This is the best thing about having this is that I always wanted a relationship and wasn't interested in one night stands and hook ups so when my time comes when I do meet a nice man with good intentions that I deserve then I am more likely to meet someone who wants a relationship too. I think in a way if this lady also would prefer a relationship then your not the man for her if you haven't took the time to really get to know her and just thinking about the sex part even though you both live apart..think this just answers it for you and puts everything into perspective.

Thanks @Amando don't even drink that much coffee apart from two cups a day and chocolate is a rare treat but I know what you mean I personally don't want to be taking lots and lots of vitamins and supplements if I am eating reasonably healthy. I don't feel I have a weak immune system as I haven't been ill at all this year apart from outbreaks so I don't understand why me. Thank you for your comment about posting loads..I was worried I may be annoying people lol but I panic and don't know who else to talk to. I just realised aswel it isn't 11 outbreaks in 11 months as I only had my first one in February so it is even worse 11 outbreaks in 9 months and still having symptoms from the outbreak that started 11 days ago!!

I suppose I have got to stop worrying about the future and focus on the now but its easy said when I have always been a worrier. Thank you @PhillyChick for your advice x

@PhillyChick Thank you for your message. I do try my hardest to not stress and try not over do it and take some relaxing time for me like have a hot bath each evening but I feel as soon as I do feel so much better and positive I am then hit with another one and feel defeated. That's good to hear but can I ask roughly how many years into it that you then start to rarely have an outbreak? It's just I am only 30 and worry I then have to wait 20 years for me to have less or no outbreaks and then by that time I will be 50 so the good sex life whilst I'm young is gonna be crap till I am older and probably going through the menopause to bring the outbreaks all on again lol!

@Uklad Lysine shouldn't be taken on a daily basis and when I did try taking it,it wouldn't stay in my system. I always eat a balanced diet and plenty of water so I eat foods which contain Lysine in anyway. The uk site said that there was no need to change your life style just because of hsv2 but I don't neglect my body anyway and always make sure I have a decent night sleep but having outbreaks also effects my sleep from time to time. I have baths each night to relax me anyway and put salt in it when I need to dry out the sores. I choose to not have a car so I walk everywhere so I keep myself fit. I don't feel I have a weak immune system as I haven't caught any sick bugs but just been suffering with the pains of.genital herpes. I take the contraceptive pill each day as well as 3 acyclovir's to take each day at the exact time, I don't want to be drowning myself in any more pills unless it means ending this misery for good.

Please please please can someone relate to getting as many as 11 outbreaks in that time. I am on 3 tablets a day now and still the bumps are still there from 10 days ago when the outbreak started. I am getting upset reading how people have only had a couple if that and it rarely bothers them. I am freaking out and crying as I fear this won't calm down whatever I do. I tridd calling the sexual health clinic this morning to discuss the effect this is having on me and they didn't even bother to ring me back. Sorry I feel I have been posting loads but I don't know where else to talk about it?

That's great news! I am really starting to feel like I am one of the unluckiest ones. It will be a year come February next year and I have only had two months of not having an outbreak. I am worried I am always gonna suffer with this.

Yes I personally would take the risk if the person was honest and I fell for them and we developed a relationship. As someone said who is to say the next person you have sex with has got an sti or not. But as people have said you do have a choice but hearing about the whole having to wear a condom for the rest of your life having sex is a load of rubbish. Do you make sure every woman you kiss in a relationship has cling film over her lips just incase she has ever had a cold sore. You don't have to wear condoms,its both your choice as long as your adults and both aware. It's the same with any relatonship its a risk and built on trust.

So jealous as I think if I rarely had an outbreak it wouldn't be such a bother to me 😔 I can see now why you're much more positive and have no problem with dating as you rarely get one. I can't have a relationship with the amount I am getting,if I was to meet someone and be in a relationship and be honest with them by saying I am a carrier of herpes and get quite a lot of outbreaks so won't be able to be intimate that much its not really sounding great is it.

@PhillyChick Did you find that you were having so many outbreaks at the beginning and are you on suppressive therapy? I am finding it hard having to constantly keep an eye on time everyday to take x3 acyclovir at the exact time daily to try minimise the pain and outbreaks as a whole.

@Victory_in_Defeat Thanks so much for your response as I agreed with everything you put and thought you compared it so well with regards to a kid who has nits, did make me laugh but at same time I definitely see what you mean.

@Alisonbr the size of a golf ball!...bless you sounds painful. Hope it also gets better for you in time too. Just be careful not to shave if you are unsure what it is as I thought the last one was a bite and shaved and made it sooo much worse,a week and a half in and still hasn't all fully cleared but getting there. Part of my skin looks like its burnt its just bright pink flesh which looks sore 😞 I don't seem to get the typical looking blisters that they show on the internet.

I was given hsv2 this year by a guy who was well aware he had it but never told me and I have had it tough ever since. I began to date again and one guy was accepting of it but unfortunetely after two months we parted not due to me having hsv2 but because he had a demanding job and in that short time we had a good sex life and I didn't have any outbreaks whilst dating him as I was also on daily meds. Then some time after that I went on a couple of dates with a guy 7 years older than me. I told him open and honestly and then he initiated the first move to have sex and then after a couple of days he decided after researching online that there is no cure and said its a deal breaker and the same as you that if he did become a carrier and we were to split it would be difficult for further relationships. I never got respect for telling him and being honest which I thought is a nice quality to have in someone as it is too easy to just keep the fact you have a sti a secret. I was devastated and took rejection really badly..it wasn't him that I was sad about it was being rejected. Since then for about 9 days so far I have had an outbreak but I don't know whether that was stress from what had happened or whether I had gone out drinking with friends two weekends in a row. Think long and hard about this and probably get to know her more before thinking about intimacy..it can't be easy for you being in this position but if you really liked someone enough the more time you spend getting to know someone before becoming intimate then I think you are more likely to accept that she has this and not focus on it because you have fallen for her as a person. Honestly whether you have an sti or not in a relationship is a great quality to have in someone. Best of luck on whatever you decide. Hope this helps.

I wouldn't say you were dumb at all,just no one educates you about it. I had no idea about it either and now I have it and having to deal with it on a daily basis as my outbreaks are constant and having to take 3 tablets each day at the exact time is now what I have to deal with daily so there just is no break from it. Do you not live in the uk? Only reason I ask is they don't tell you exactly which one genitally it is whether it be hsv1 or hsv2 and just say well if its the waist down they just class it is hsv2. I heard apparently that if you have ghsv1 then your outbreaks arn't so bad which I wish that is what I had as mine are constant I am guessing mine is just hsv2. Tablets have helped the pain as I only deal with a burning sensation and itchiness with each new outbreak but it is the fact that it won't give me a break. Like you have realised very little people talk about it where as I have been open to people I trust as I find talking about it really helps me to vent. I am just angry inside when I think back to the guy who knowingly transferred it to me as I never had the choice and that is so hard to deal with. I got this over 4 months before I turned 30 so really my prime time of intimacy and a relationship is not gonna happen for as long as these outbreaks continue and that is also hard to deal with

People are less bothered and less judgement about hsv1 on your lip because most adults got it when they were younger so in adult life it is rare to see many people with a cold sore and when they do its usually just one a year. With hsv2 its different as it effects your sex life. Who wants to get with me for example who out of 10 months of someone knowing they had it and didn't tell me I have only had less than 2 months of not having a breakout so thats enough to ruin any intimacy in a relationship. I tried yesterday signing up to a herpes dating site and it was horrible and made me feel shitty doing it as it made me feel like I am broken goods being pushed out from the rest of the world who can go on freely in and out of relationships with not having this. Most people never put a photo up as they were to embarressed including me and if not haviny an incurable std wasn't enough they then charge you to actually message people so I deleted it and will never bother going on it again.