I am one of those 30% who tested negative by blood test (almost a decade apart) and tested positive by western blot. The upside is if it’s hsv-1 as in my case it’s super hard to pass genitally, so it might explain why you haven’t given it to your wife if you haven’t, and it might help console her. Also, I was super depressed at first, but I literally don’t care about it anymore, if that helps.