Scornedvillager

I would also follow up in 6 months with another blood test since I have heard that false negatives can occur. The virus sometimes takes a few months to show in blood tests, especially if you dont have symptoms.

I was freaked out about about passing it to other parts of my body as well. I quickly learned through research that hsv1 is more likely to be spread to the eyes/mouth and other places. It is highly disputed that hsv2 can be transferred other than the genitals. Believe me, I took showers as if my lady parts were a Bio hazard for months. You cant live like that and i have since stopped taking such extreme cautions. I hope you are faring well and your worries have ceased. Its really not as scary as it seems. I think that since H has such a stigma the only info out there is about extreme cases. Good luck and much love!

Awww! Im sorry. Im going on 10 months being diagnosed and it wasnt until a month ago that I had noticeable lymph swelling. Of course it was right where the elastic of my underwear laid, so I was constantly reminded of the swelling. I think I also may have had one in my neck as well. I did notice more frequent swelling and shooting pains after I slacked on exercising and taking my one-a-day vitamin. I also noticed it was only on one side, the same side as where my occurrences pop up. After a 2 days of taking acyclovir the swelling went down and I actually realized that I was worn down, tired all the time and all around just feeling crappy for the duration of lymph swelling (a few weeks) -- a symptom that never happened for more than a day. Unfortunately every one has a different immune system so meds or exercise may not work for all hsv sufferers. I wish you good luck!

@Mariah I agree with Elle on the whole parent thing. If you are close to you parents, tell them. My mother is my best friend and I tell her everything. She was the first person I called even before my current partner. When I told her about my diagnosis she told me she has it too! (Not hsv2 like me, but hsv1 genitally) There are some parents out there that are absolutely heartless and judgemental even of their kids, but the thing about most parents is they are still very proud of you no matter what. I know you feel ashamed, but shame is an extremely self destructive feeling. Girl, you have herpes, why put yourself through MORE torture than the physical side effects of the virus? You are beautiful and there is one person that will always think youre absolutely wonderful and thats Mom. Do you think she would trade you for another daughter that doesn't have herpes? Hell no. You're her baby girl and probably one of the most beautiful things in the world to her because she made you. With a fresh diagnosis, you need someone you can tell that loves you unconditionally. It will help with the shame to know that you arent the virus and your family still loves you, not your actions, not your mistakes or accomplishments. Mom is always there to answer the phone and you need that right now. I was calling my mommy 3 times a day crying about my diagnosis after i got the call. She always answered and she always "talked me off the ledge" (not in a suicidal way) and brought me back to reality. Call your mom. Cry. Say it out loud. Dont run from your feelings and yourself. Face them head on with the determination, strength and stubbornness us girls are made of. Rid yourself of that shame. It eats at your heart and makes you your own worst enemy when you need an ally in yourself the most. Good luck and much love!

Thank you for being so honest. I too had a lack of respect for my body and let others disrespect me as a sexual object, and I found a false sense of empowerment while doing so. I also had the revelation of "Im tired of putting and getting nothing in return" and while I was holding out on having sex with a guy that I really liked I had my first episode that sent me to the clinic with questions. Luckily I was able to avoid putting others at risk. I am a confident, sexual person and now, instead of experiencing multiple sexual encounters, I really look forward to finding "the one" and exploring the vastness of my sexuality with one person instead of the exploring the shallow depths with many partners. Welcome to the community, Alex. You are quite inspiring as well!

Life sentence of unhappiness! I thought about it that way at first and I sometimes still do. You must understand that with herpes, the only enemy is yourself. You've come to the right place. Herpes is like any other virus, except society doesn't accept it as something to pity or a reason to feel remorse because the sigma is "you brought it upon yourself". You need to stop where you are and take a deep breath. Things happen and they aren't always desirable or repairable. Next, be thankful. You don't have cancer. You don't have a death sentence. Its just a few lesions that pop up every few months. After that, remind yourself of your accomplishments: school, work, friends. Think about the people that LOVE you, that would say "i don't care if you have herpes, you're still an amazing friend/son/daughter/sister/brother." because those are the opinions that matter. Lastly and most important, your symptoms will die down. The first year or so is always the worst. I've had frequent out breaks over the past 8 months. You're fighting something you can't change and a battle against yourself is a battle that has no winners. Soon you will learn to live with it and get to know yourself, sometimes herpes can be a good thing. Much love, you'll be fine! I mean, hey, look at us. We are! We all just need a little support sometime.

I wouldn't mind someone to talk to, sounds like a great idea. No gender preference. I am a 24 year old female in West Central Florida. It would be great to have someone to vent to, or to help out. Someone around the same age. I've been handling things well, but I haven't had to disclose to any one since I'm fresh out of a relationship. Eventually that time would come and I'd personally like to have someone there to talk to who has been in the same situation, male or female.

I suggest you definitely get a scraping. I was diagnosed with Herpes Zoster, Shingles, and it turned out to be HSV2. The most accurate way of diagnosis is a scrape test from what I've read online. It sometimes takes 3 to 4 months for antibodies to show in blood tests.

One of the main reasons I went in to get the HSV test was because I had oral lesions for the first time in my life coupled with a small area on my genitals. When I received the call stating the positive test result for HSV2 genitally, the nurse did tell me its quite possible that HSV2 is causing my oral outbreaks as well. I've noticed I only get oral outbreaks a week before I have a genital outbreak. I've read on blogs the HSV2 can infect the eyes and cuticles. I've seen pictures of newborns, birthed vaginally during an outbreak, with lesions in the eyes and all over the body -- even on the bottom of their feet. One blog I came across was a girl talking about having HSV2 on her hand, which she transferred to her cheek because she fell asleep with her face on her hand. In my opinion, HSV2 and possibly even HSV1 can be contracted to new nerve endings through sore-to-open-wound contact. If you touch a lesion and then rub your eye, you can transfer it. If you chew your cuticles and touch a sore, you can transfer it. I think of herpes in general as a prolonged bout of Chicken Pox (it is a very similar virus, Chicken Pox is Herpes Zoster). If a group of nerve endings are infected, the virus will appear there. ...are you washing your hands yet? :) Personally, it freaks me out.

Yes! It leaves pretty bad scars. Almost like a burn. It occurs about an inchaway from my butt crack and its been in the exact same spot all three times. It leaves a pretty gnarly scar every time, which Im a little embarassed about. Im sure an OB on the genitals wouldnt scar, different type of skin there. Im just wondering if scar creams would even make a difference. I was origionally misdiagnosed with shingles because my OBs occur in the same spot shingles occurs. Ugh. Thanks a lot, Ill be fine. I think we all get used to it eventually, right?

Just when I start getting a long with my life and my stress levels are going down, I wake up this morning with the beginnings of another outbreak on my left butt cheek. Amazing. This is not a sob story, this is a full blown rant. Herpes is quite litterally a pain in my ass. Although I am thankful that I dont have the problems that some women do like unbearable sores inside and outside of the vagina, I am absolutely pissed that H is scarring me. Like, really, scarring me. This may be a bit shallow, but I have a nice rump. I do squats, lunges, bridges, anything that will tone what I feel is some of my best physical features: my behind and my legs. Then H comes along and decides to leave its watermark right on my backside. ~X( Im thankful that this OB is in the same spot as the last one, so it isnt creating a completely different scar, just expanding the first one. But this OB seems to be bigger, worse than the first that was origionally in its spot a few months ago. I thought I was over the hump. I thought this was all down hill from here and OBs wouldnt get worse,or bigger, they would just pop up randomly in similar sizes, breakouts would get smaller and eventually I would only have small symptoms once or twice a year. This OB has made me lose my faith in that thought and its frustrating. I dont know what triggered it. I had a small headcold Thursday. Ever since Ive had the groin pains and tingling all throughout the genital area. Im pretty sure the head cold was not a symptom of H, as some of my friends have been sick. Either way I'm back on Acyclovir for ten days. I'm so glad I had it on hand. Which brings me to my question. Has anyone used a scar reduction cream on a herpes scar before? Has it worked? I need to save my ass. In all seriousness. This is not cool. Thanks for reading my outburst. I needed that.

Yes, but can you find an article that states l-lysine causes: Changes in vision; dizziness; drowsiness; nausea; sensitivity to sunlight, severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); aggressive behavior; agitation; blood in the urine; confusion; dark urine; decreased consciousness; decreased urination; fatigue; fever; hallucinations; lower back pain; pain or redness at the injection site; painful urination; red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; seizures; stomach pain; tremors; unusual bleeding or bruising; urination problems; vomiting; yellowing of the eyes or skin. Those are side effects of acyclovir. I'd rather take lysine just in case and save myself the liver damage until i really need the medication. Plus, when have you ever seen the FDA approve a natural dietary supplement as effective? Yet we all take a one-a-day.

Hi man in progress! I just wanted to send a reply because I feel for you. It seems bad luck comes in "threes" but I have known all too often that it comes in multiples of that. I'm sorry you're in a rough spot but you should focus on not being hard on yourself, it only increases the stress. As a pharmacy technician I have learned that it isn't always the active ingredient in medications that people are allergic to. You could be allergic to the fillers or dyes that the drug manufacturer uses. I would suggest finding a new doctor, because she is obviously not giving you the attention that you need. You have options. Its doctors like this that piss me off, they treat patients like cattle. All they want is your copay, move 'em in and move 'em out! It is sadly somewhat of a result of our healthcare system. OR, like the_opp says, go natural and buy l-lysine. I bought 4 bottles online for $6.50 a bottle. I haven't had a out break yet since I've been taking it, but I do keep a 10 day supply of Acyclovir just in case things get out of hand. I've heard 1,000 mg of l-lysine a day will help, and you can bump that up to 3,000-4,000 mg a day if you feel an out break coming on. Do you have a planned parenthood or community sexual health center near by? These places are not only for women and they usually keep these prescriptions on hand or they can write you one to fill at your local pharmacy. They are also more apt to listen to you because the specify in sexual health. You may want to try a place like that and voice your concerns with your allergic reaction. I smoke too. Not much, but I'm really focusing on quitting. Smoking has a huge effect on your immune system. Nicotine is even absorbed through the same receptors as vitamin-c! Just know that I'm right there with you and I understand that its even harder to quit when you have bad news barreling at you and causing stress. One thing I have learned is that, although you care about them, your family's problems are not directly your problems. This may be my own opinion and a little preachy, but here it goes. The most important person to take care of is you, because if you're unhealthy, who the heck is going to take care of them? I'm 24, and I'm coming to realize that my family's decisions have put them on the path they are on today. If I travel down a similar path, I'm going to be in the same position they are when I'm their age! Although parents, grandparents and siblings are there for love and support, they are also there to lead by example. My mom smokes and chose to party through the 70's rather than obtain an education. I love her to death and she is the most important person in my life, my best friend and confidant, but I refuse to go out like that. So I'm getting my bachelors, focusing on eating healthy, quitting smoking (which I most likely picked up due to being a daughter of smokers) and most importantly I'm learning from her mistakes. Hate, negativity and ugliness are powerful things. Just remember that you are powerless over other peoples thoughts, emotions and actions. The only thing you can change is how they affect you and how you react! Stay positive and keep your head up. This will not only improve your life but it will help keep the H virus at bay.

You're so very welcome! This is the place to come if you need an outlet or if you're feeling particularly down - we all have our moments of strengths and weakness. Don't be afraid to private message me if you feel the need to. We're all here to support. I know how you feel about being treated "differently." My best friend has a 16-month old who is an absolute joy. I haven't told my friend that I have it, even though I confide in her with everything. She is a nurse, so I know she would never judge me or treat me differently and she knows as much as I do about the virus and I'm sure she wouldn't keep the baby from me. But like you said, she would think DIFFERENTLY, not particularly negatively, about me. That thought would always be in the back of her mind once she knows. I just make sure I'm super clean around the kid, even though I've become a chronic hand washer any way. I can't believe someone would make fun of you for a genetic disease! You know what isn't genetic? Being a jerk. It's quite curable, actually, and to think that some jerk would criticize you for something you were born with boggles my mind. There is NOTHING you could have done differently and you shouldn't blame your self to the point of shame. I, personally, was a bit promiscuous in my late teens to early 20s, I could go around blaming myself (because, really, it IS my fault for not limiting my partners to people that I loved), but I don't want to project that energy because it lingers and it just makes things worse. You obviously know that you are a great person. You want to be accepted for your character, therefore you know that your character is worth accepting. The only person I pity is the man out there that is missing out on you because you're afraid of letting him in. I'm not saying you should trust everyone, especially after your experiences I wouldn't want to trust either, just don't shut out happiness and companionship. HSV2 seems to weed out the jerks from the people worth being with. If he is not willing to take the risk it means that he is not with you for that amazing character of yours. It brings forth people's true personalities. If he dips out, it means he had a long term agenda that didn't involve you in the first place. And who needs that? Definitely not someone who has been through what you have. Again, you are welcome! I suggest reading other people's posts, that way you know you aren't alone. It helps me a lot. :)

This is absolutely beautiful, Faith. You have so much courage and strength that I wish I could harness it and take a daily dose of it myself. Your story is an example of how resilient we (women in general) can be in such abusive situations and that we should always keep fighting and press on. I don't mean to offend, but you admitting to two other chronic illnesses has made me grateful that I only have HSV2. It must be hard, but I like to think that we aren't given more than what we can handle. We are ALL afraid of telling any one. My two best friends have no idea and these are girls I've grown up with for the past 15 years. I should want to seek their support and I know they would never judge me, but I feel that the less people that know - the better. You must understand that you aren't the virus. You aren't dirty, you aren't unwanted, and it doesn't make you who you are. You have a choice to not become the stigma and right now it sounds like it has consumed you. Especially since someone has treated you as though you are all of the above by abusing you (which really pisses me off that men can still do that and get away with it, its like we live in the stone ages). You are so damn strong and I can only hope that you find more strength to realize how beautiful and valuable you are to the world. Remember that every one deserves to be loved. Thanks for sharing, love!

Thanks Lelani! You are beautiful too. I would totally visit your cafe that you mentioned in previous posts. I'd love to sit and chat with you over coffee. It isnt too personal because sex isnt that much different. I've noticed that rough sex will cause a break out. I do, however, have the tendency to wash my hands more frequently, especially after sex. You have to consider that women have a lot more fluids to deal with so practicing good hygiene is a must. Contracting it orally is highly possible. I was misdiagnosed during my first break out. They said it was Herpes Zoster (Shingles), so I didnt think too much about it being contagious. I do believe that I transmitted it from my genitals to my mouth because I always bite the inside of my cheeks and I also have the tendency to put my hands in my mouth during sex or even during masturbation. That may be a bit too much personal information, but during the heat of the moment things can get messy. Hahaha. Its just one of those things! I probably wouldnt have done such a thing if I had known what the initial breakout was. There is also the large possibility I contracted orally through oral sex. I have had a few break outs on my lips (it looks exactly like HSV-1, oral herpes) and that is actually what made me go back to the doctor and get a more thorough test/examination. The doctor that called me regarding my positive test result said that HSV-2 is most likely causing the oral breakouts too. From what I've heard HSV-2 doesnt normally prefer the oral area, and even though it may transfer there, it will not appear as frequently as HSV-1 which prefers the mouth. So now, I am a chronic hand washer. Especially after reading online you can even transfer it to your eyes. I also have the tendency to crouch over the mirror once a week with a flashlight. LOL. It could be me just being paranoid, but its also the disadvantage of not having exterior genitalia. Hope that helped!

Lelani, your posts are always so positive and encouraging. I love them. College_Guy, Its hard for any one to deal with contracting H. Especially when we are involved in a social scene (which almost all of them are shallow to some extent). Here is a story for you. Roughly a year ago I met a young (25), attractive military man that I clicked with. I didnt have HSV-2 when we were hanging out. I liked him a lot but on our 3rd date I noticed a needle mark on his arm. I questioned it because I am an ex-girlfriend of a IV drug user and was about to jump ship if I had met another IV drug user. He told me he had contracted herpes and the mark on his arm was from a blood drawing, even though his doctor was sure he had it. We never really worked out even though I was very attracted to him, but because he was so honest with me, I told him at the time that if things progressed and we "clicked" that I would be willing to take the risk to be with him. We never had sex and went on our separate ways. Strangely enough, a year and a half to two years later I get a call from Planned Parenthood telling me I got the gift that keeps on giving. I've played both roles. I was the chick that accepted that someone super cool had the virus and was willing to progress to a sexual relationship if we had really seen something in each other. Today I am H positive and I have a wonderful boyfriend who accepts me for the cute, amazing chick I really am. I did, however, send a text to him asking for advice shortly after my result. His response? "It only really affects one part of your life: dating." Amazing! Heres a guy that is so hot, someone who could pull ass for days. Yet he is responsible, controls himself and is honest to potential lovers. The moral of the story is that H, as uncomfortable and "socially unacceptable" as it is, forces us young folks into viewing life from a different aspect. I've finally realized life isn't all about "gettin' some." I'm 24 years old and H has done an important thing for me. Its given me a swift kick in the ass towards true adulthood. Casual sex is liberating and certainly is good fun, but it is one thing that consumes us in our early 20s. What hot chick are we going to bang next? Which ripped dude on the dance floor is going to take me home tonight? See this as an opportunity to focus on things in life with true meaning such as your career, your family, hobbies you may have, your own state of health and fitness. There are hot chicks that are willing to accept you regardless of H. Believe me, I was one of them before I paddled up the H creek with the rest of you guys. Oh, and good luck with disclosing. If shes a smart girl she will praise you for being an honest upstanding guy. She may even be more attracted to you because of your honesty!

Hi Iris! If it makes you feel any better, I have read on a few websites that HSV-1, due to it preferring the mouth/oral area, doesnt break out as often when you have it genitally. I doubt your partner would have a problem contracting it on his hands if he doesnt have a cut/scrape/hangnail. Just be careful with that. You would probably want to avoid oral sex the most due to the fact that the HSV-1 strain prefers that area and its hard to know when you have an open cut in your mouth. I do, however, have a middle aged friend who has HSV-1 genitally and rarely gets breakouts. She has been with someone for 15+ years and there has been no signs of HSV-1 appearing on her partner. You have to remember that everyone is different. It is less likely (not UNLIKELY) for your partner to contract it when you arent having a breakout. Just remember that if you touch a lesion directly, be sure to wash your hands because you can transfer it to your own mouth and possibly your eyes and definitely to your partner. Terrifying, I know, but just be cautious and keep clean. I am no doctor, but this is what I have picked up from reading herpes related information on the internet. The best you can do is read read read and question everything. I love my smartphone, especially since I can look up info immediately when i think of something. Good luck, hun. I'm in this boat too, except I just tested positive last week!

Thanks for your reply, Carlos. I am very blessed, even though I have probably made one or two poor choices involving my sex life as well. I am female. I havent had a blood test for HSV as it is pretty expensive and I have no insurance but I just recently took an HIV test which came out negative. From what I understand it is pretty hard to contract but it is always best to be on the safe side. My partner is amazing and he helps me take things one day at a time. My mother is also my best friend, making it easy to deal with things. She is open with me as well and told me she was diagnosed with HSV-1 genitally years ago when it wasnt so common to have that strain "down there." You'd think that is totally T.M.I. coming from Mom, but its good to know that I am not alone. As of right now I feel as though my health is failing me, even though I may be exaggerating. I am shedding a bit of hair (either from the antivirals, the HSV itself or from stress, not sure) so as a woman this is all a bit depressing. I've been making a few lifestyle changes I should have made years ago that will bring up my immune system. Such as quitting smoking. I've ordered some l-lysine and I'm paying more attention to taking my daily vitamins, pH levels, getting in some cardio and keeping a calm mind. If anyone has any tips on what suppresses your breakouts holistically, they would be greatly appreciated. I am most concerned with liver issues if I continue on suppressive therapy and I'm convinced my body can overcome this without an excess of harmful medication.

Hi there. I'm here to tell my story and get a little off my chest, even though my partner knows and has accepted my positive tests results. About 3 months ago a sore formed on my left butt cheek. Not having insurance and being a full time student, I checked into the walk in clinic absolutely convinced I had genital herpes. They took one look and sent me off with a diagnosis of Herpes Zoster, which can easily be mistaken for HSV 1 or 2 when considering the placement was no where near my genitalia and closer to the sacrum. The sores look identical due to the fact they are very similar viruses. Being completely content with the diagnosis, I went about my average sex life and I have been with the same man. Less than a month ago I went through a bout of what I assumed were cold sores due to stress related to losing my job and going back to school full time. With the application of Abreva, they went away, only lasting 5 to 6 days each. No problem. Then the tiny "scratch" or sore popped up on my genitals shortly after the disappearance of the cold sores. This is about the time I assumed my body was revolting and there was no way I had Shingles, cold sores, and now this last strange appearance. I rushed to Planned Parenthood (bless their souls, they've been there for emergencies for the last 10 years of my young adulthood) and tested positive 3 days after the initial swab. I tested positive for HSV-2. They said that is what is most likely causing the cold sores, but I have not yet had that tested. Technically, I guess I have been through two outbreaks so far and a whirlwind of confusion trying to figure this out. I recommend getting a blood test/scraping immediately when something seems wrong. I had a gut feeling and I didn't go with it and all though it wouldn't have changed any thing all I can think about is how many people I could have put at risk. I also question if I transmitted it to my mouth myself and if I had known earlier, could I have prevented the transmission to my mouth? I'm the type that believes we aren't given any more than we can handle but it is still hard. I'm more afraid of how often/severe future outbreaks will be. I am especially paranoid of every little scratch, itch and bump even though I am on antivirals. The only two people that know are my mother and my partner. Thank goodness I have two wonderful people I can be that open to, especially having a partner that didn't run the opposite way after finding out. And of course, now you guys know. I, fortunately, can separate the stigma from the actual disease and having a partner that is accepting helps to ease the feelings of rejection and uncleanliness. There is no reason to feel so ugly, especially when I wake up the same person every day regardless of a pesky skin disease. I hope someone can learn from my story. Question every diagnosis, get a second opinion or further testing!