HerryTheHerp

Gives me hope. Lots of hope. I'm doing a disclosure next week with a woman who spins my heart in so many circles that Daisy Duke couldn't even keep up with it. Congratulations and thanks for sharing this!

I'm not going to sugar coat it or give you warm fuzzies. What you did calls for tough love and a dose of reality. Totally uncool. Totally irresponsible. It's one thing to sleep with someone and be among the 80% who don't know; but to know and not say anything? Myself and many others have this wonderful little present right now because of someone who knew and didn't say anything when they gave it to us. Believe me, we're not sending Thank You or Christmas cards. Those of us who KNOW we have the herps have a moral, ethical, and legal RESPONSIBILITY to inform our partners. This is especially true if it's down below, because what you did is hitting below the belt in so many ways. It felt good and you couldn't resist? Oh sure, sex feels great and it's amazing to feel wanted. It makes us feel human; a feeling most of us struggle to recapture after our diagnosis. It's awesome until you deliberately put someone else's health at risk just because you're afraid of getting rejected. We're all afraid of rejection, and it happens all too often that we lose someone we care about because of this friggin virus. It's a major bummer that makes us feel like lepers at times, but it doesn't give any of us the right to be selfish. Men or women. We all want to get screwed, but we don't have the right to screw with other people's lives because we are hurting. Playing the game of life? It's a game with all too real consequences that you are well aware of. Worst of all you cheated as you played. You deliberately rolled loaded dice with someone else's health and emotions. Remember how you felt when you got the news? Remember how it feels to have that first OB? Remember how it feels to want to go into a corner and just cry all day long? Those moments are burned into the minds of all of us who have gotten the diagnosis and it never goes away. If we're lucky it gets better with time. Some of us can still see the smoldering ashes of our hopes and dreams burning in the not that far off distance and it takes everything we have to hold the tears back. You don't put people you care about in the position that you, and I, and far too many others are in; and you are going to have to own up to this in what is going to be the hardest conversation of your life. Assuming you used protection. Assuming you weren't shedding or having a silent OB. Assuming you weren't on supressive therapy. Assuming so many unknown variables, he has a 4% to 10% chance of acquiring it from you right now. Those were the odds I had, and my dice came up snake eyes. You need to call your bed buddy and sit down with him in a public location like a coffee house. You need to fill your head with every piece of knowledge you can garner about this virus, its transmission routes, his risks, etc. You need to give yourself a graduate school level of knowledge about both the disease and yourself so you can respond to any questions he might ask. Then you need to prepare your speech and, coming from a man who is usually compassionate, I wouldn't recommend starting off with "I'm sorry." "I'm selfish and I should have told you. I deliberately put your health at risk and there is never an excuse or good reason for that" is the only way to start that conversation, and then end it with "I'm sorry." The truth and nothing but the truth, and that's all you need to go over in the conversation. Feeling guilty? Good. Remember that feeling the next time you're feeling horny. Then pluck up the courage before you pull off the pants.

Like many of us I have been busily researching the various potential weapons Mother Nature provides. For me, I'd much rather put something natural in my body than something manufactured by big pharma on a regular basis. The irony is I was a long time smoker and have an affinity for fast foods, but I digress. Yesterday I came across a few articles on the benefits of broccoli. Apparently, there was some research into a substance within cruciferous veggies known as Indole 3 Carbinol about a decade ago. The brief study showed the compound reduced viral replication by 99.9%. This discovery garnered a lot of attention for a few months, but for some reason the scientists didn't take it further. There were a couple of follow-up studies that showed similar results, but ultimately it looks like they decided Zovirax and Valtrex were sufficient and they didn't need to take it any further...(cue sinister music.) There have been lots of references to this study and the IC3 herpes connection over the years, but so far I haven't found anyone saying "I've tried this and noticed a difference." So, anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Obviously, eating broccoli won't hurt anything, but has anyone here upped their cruci veggie intake and experienced a reduction in outbreaks sans pharmaceutical assistance? Curious minds want to know.

Well, if it makes you feel better, I used protection and still got it. This is that rare type of virus that can go right through the skin and doesn't require penetration. Your dad doesn't understand the logistics of this virus, nor how prevalent it is and that 1 in 4 women have it; most without knowing it. Educate him. Educate the men you date. The more you know, the more comfortable you'll become. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable you'll make others. And, keep in mind, you will always be "daddy's girl" and "daddy's girl" doesn't have sex. Ever. She's a nun. Even after she's married and has children, those children were born of immaculate conception. It's a dad thing, and it's pretty universal so you are far from alone. Merry Christmas!

I made a decision to go natural with my primary and may continue in the future. I used: Aloe cream (that's important as gel doesn't work as well; keep in mind, there is also some research that aloe works better on men than on women for reasons unknown. Lysine supplement (1500 mg a day; 500mg a dose x 3 times; anything more is overkill and actually hampers the immune system or gets expelled. Some people say they take up to 3000mg during an outbreak and that's really unnecessary as 1500 plus a significant reduction in foods that contain arginine is more than sufficient to starve the bugger. Plus healthy foods, sleep, moderate exercise, cocoa butter soap to keep it clean and supple, and stress reduction. From the first blister formation to complete healing with just a bit of tenderness remaining took 8 days. Tea tree oil, vitamin E, vitamin C, soap, salt baths, and even Acetone are also reported remedies but I haven't tried these yet.

Hey Dreamer, Well, it sounds like you've had HSV1 is oral for a long time, and it likes to live up north and mouth off from time to time. HSV2 is genital and enjoys life down south in warmer climates where it likes to host a party in the pants a few times a year. Over time, both settle down and the parties in the panties get less intense because the antibody police are on the lookout for their shenanigans 24/7; and they are ready to shut 'em down when they start to turn the music up. Primary OB's occur because your body isn't used to the new virus and has no antibodies built up to fight it. You get tired and feel ill because your immune system gets overwhelmed trying to fight it off as it builds up its antibody arsenal. That takes time, and it's the reason primary OB's can be so bad and noticeable. Recurrent OB's occur when the antibodies are preoccupied with illnesses such as the flu/colds, or depressed because of stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, poor diet, etc. These factors lower the immune system's response which allows the virus to replicate and make its way to the surface and raise hell. The difference each of us will have with recurrent outbreaks is enormous and there is no standard formula. Sounds like yours are pretty mild, and that's a great thing that many people wish they had. For either HSV1 or HSV2 recurrent outbreaks, the symptoms can be very mild and barely noticeable. They can include rashes, blisters, headaches, fevers, cramps, muscle pains, etc. Sometimes there will just be tiny little cracks in the skin with no blister or blood present. I know one guy who just gets tingles for a few days. You'll just have to get used to what your body is telling you. I would be highly surprised if you have HSV1 in both places, and no you can't transfer it to yourself and around your body. Auto-inoculation beyond the primary outbreak is virtually unheard of, and it is unlikely even during a primary infection. Further, while you can have HSV1 or HSV2 in either place, I've never heard of anyone having the same strain in both places at the same time which is what I think you were asking. I'd suggest you have an antibody test done for both HSV1 and HSV2 antibodies. If you have both, then you have HSV1 upstairs, and you have a nastier, less socially acceptable bum with a bad attitude named HSV2 in the basement. Either can be calmed down with the antivirals on the market these days; in my case, I go holistic with aloe, lysine, and diet, and it's worked fine so far with the same results as the meds offer. But, experiment and see what works for your body. Is it possible your partner had HSV1 or HSV2 dormant for a long time? Sure is. 80% of people never experience symptoms or know they have it. The woman who gave HSV2 to me for Christmas had no idea she carried it and only has a vague idea of how she acquired it because her two former boyfriends never showed symptoms. I've had HSV1 since childhood and haven't had a cold sore in 20 years. Thus, I do know it is possible to carry either and not show any symptoms. I also know it's possible to build up antibodies that can shut the virus down for a long time after a period of activity. If you are having a breakout south of the beltline, there is no reason you should refrain from kissing. Further, about 90% of adults have HSV1 in their mouth (only about 2% have HSV2 in the mouth), which means that your odds of transferring HSV1 to a partner during a long, sloppy wet kiss are pretty low as the likelihood is they already have it. Snog away, it'll be just fine. Just don't shag as if you have HSV2 downstairs, you are highly contagious right now and could infect someone who doesn't have it already. Remember you have HSV1, and maybe HSV2 from what you wrote. You have them; don't let them get you. Keep a "positive" attitude and that will help your immune system immensely as it fights these nasty little cousins off. The vast majority of people I talk to who never have recurrent outbreaks all share one thing in common: a positive outlook.

I think you've just been given a huge blessing. Now you can stop worrying about the herpster and refocus on the intimacy. ;) I definitely think we men have it easier in some regards. From what I've read it does tend to go easier on us over time with fewer OB's in part because our hormones don't go through as many shifts and our immune systems respond a little differently. However, it's also harder mentally when we realize just how few of us have the virus inside us. 1 in 4 for women, 1 in 9 for men. But, who knows? That ratio might actually be lower because not even your husband knew. Knowing does tend to take a toll on our emotions at first, but for the mature among us it just becomes a part of us that we accept and are hopefully responsible with. As a single guy, it does take away some of our "manliness" which hurts pretty bad, and like women, it makes us feel a little less desirable and a little more insecure. As an already married man, though? Your husband is going to be just fine. He has a woman who loves him and in life there is no greater feeling or accomplishment that a man can earn.

"What if?" Man, that's a question we all know very well. What if I wouldn't have slept with him/her? What if I wouldn't have rushed things? What if I would have insisted on condoms, or HSV tests beforehand? Stay away from "what if" because it'll eat at you until there's nothing left. You can ask the question a million times and it doesn't change "What is." And, what is happens to be the Herpster, the herp man, the herpetic pain in the arse. You've got a new buddy and he is going to follow you around for the rest of your life. Make him your friend and you'll soon start to get along. As far as the relationship, well, honesty is always the best policy. Especially since you have a child. That honesty is what a relationship should be built upon. Sure, he'll be freaked out. We all were/are. It's a big deal at first, but it subsides. In the end, if you can't talk about this, then how are you going to discuss child care, finances, futures, and the things that grow in a relationship? My advice, do your research first. Know everything you can about this virus, how it's transmitted, how 80% of people don't know they have it, and how you can protect him if he doesn't have it. The more you know, the more he'll feel comfortable. Oh, and you're not alone. Far from it. 1 in every 4 women in America has this virus inside her right now. One in Four. That's a big number. Think about that the next time you go shopping, or out to a ballgame, or simply sitting in a restaurant. Look around. Who has it? Who doesn't? You can't tell, and neither can they. Neither could most of us when we came into contact with it, and most of us were pretty gosh darn careful people. So, stop beating yourself up. Get educated on the topic. Practice your speech. Don't accuse, just educate. And, think positive. Good things really do come to people who keep their chin up in rough times.

Hallelujah and Amen. As far as excuses for females, well, you can blame the red wine and roses, and if that fails, you can always blame the cute butt in the Levis and the southern drawl.

That's what got me into this damned mess! A whole lot of praying took place that night ;)

Well, what a year, huh? We've been through heck. Our pee pees and vajajays have looked like hell (some do right now), but we're alive. We still have air in our lungs, dreams in our eyes, and hope in our hearts. Most importantly, we've found each other. We've found a group where we're not outcasts, where we're not pariahs, where we're not looked-down upon. Funny how diseases tend to level the playing field, isn't it? I'm a Christian and I can't help but think about Jesus tonight, but I won't preach. Honestly, I can't recite more than a couple of passages anyway and the last time I was in church a thunderstorm broke out. Talk about a guy who had it rough, though. Son of diety (or not if you're an athiest) the man walked through life facing challenges and tribulations before he got nailed. Then you read about Job. Man, that guy had it rough with those boils and sores. And, the list goes on and on and on. If you look at their stories, no matter what they faced they pressed forward even in the face of adversity. That's what courageous people do, and if I have to walk among man for 80 or 90 years, well, I want to walk among courageous people. It's the same principle in other things; if you want to be the best, you hang out with the best and follow their example. Those thoughts are some of what are shaping my outlook on this whole fiasco that is my diagnosis. It's helping, and I wane, and tears flow with the emotions, and the sense of loss creeps in at times, but I always snap back to "Let's roll!" pretty quickly. Ultimately, we're dealing with a skin infection. A really annoying skin infection. Ok, a really, really, really annoying skin infection. People make fun of us. Let's be honest, we've all told herpes jokes over the years and we continued to tell them ourselves right up until we got the diagnosis. Now, through our own tribulations we understand the pain and suffering and feel like lepers and a bit guilty when we first find out. But, through time comes understanding, compassion, strength, and so many other things that it can be a blessing if you let it. It can be a great gift if you open your eyes to what it is teaching us about life and ourselves. And, yes, I am an eternal optimist...most of the time. Having the Herps is not karma, or fate, or even punishment (unless you got it during S&M, in which case you either said the wrong safe word or are really loving this in a sick and twisted kind of way!); it's a lesson in humility that 1 in 6 people in America is dealing with (1 in 4 if you're a woman). Finally, for those of us still waiting for other window periods to expire, remember this: You're still alive and as long as the sun rises in the morning, only you can extinguish your hopes and dreams. So, Herpe Holidays and Merry Cool Sitz Bath! Merry Christmas and god bless every blister! Enjoy your turkeys, nibble on your loved one's neck, and for goodness sake, tell your family you love them.

I have also had great luck with aloe. It really helps soothe the pain and keep the area disinfected. Highly recommend it. Also, a heavy dose of lysine seems to make it even more effective.

As a guy, I can't speak from firsthand experience. However, I can share some suggestions I've seen online in my research this week. Like you, I just got the news so Google has been great...and simply horrific. 1. Pee in the shower with lukewarm water running over your who ha. We all do it anyway and now you have a legitimate excuse. Some women have said that really helps. And, as a guy, I don't think peeing while standing is all that ridiculous. I find putting the toilet seat down when I'm done ridiculous, but not the act itself. 2. No, you can still have unprotected mattress mambo sessions with your boyfriend. He's already got it and can't get it in two locations. Oral, penetration, doesn't matter. As long as neither of you have type 2, you're good to go. 3. We're all glad we found this site. And, we're all going through the same things. Sucks, but hey, at least we know we're not alone. Fortunately, you have Type 1 which settles down a lot more than the other which is a nutty bodymate with a questionable attitude.

Aerial has the winner. I'm going to try that before I reach for the paint thinner. Aerial, my winky and I thank you for the suggestion. How about storage? Room temp or in the fridge? What's the viscosity like? Is it smooth and somewhat easy to apply or should I heat it up a little to make it easier to spread around? How many times did you apply it? Once or every day the blister was around? I'll give it a try asap. It's going to be hard finding the ingredients where I am, but it sounds very appealing so I'll pull out all the stops and let you all know what transpires. I never thought praying for my Christmas miracle would involve coconut oil and tea tree oil. Well, I'll save world peace and season tickets for next year.

Well, the big question is how will this handle a mucous membrane like a foreskin. Legs, thighs, and butts are considerably different than the skin on the wee willy winky. Ok, it's not so wee willy (as she kept reminding me ;) ) but still, I'm a little hesitant to put a chemical such as acetone on him. Yes, I'm pissed off at him something fierce right now for getting me into this mess, but I don't want to torture him any more than I have to. He stood up and apologized this morning. We came to a truce. He doesn't sleep with anymore women who don't know their status, and I don't beat him when I'm watching Baywatch. I go pouring acetone on him and that might just be considered a declaration of war that I don't want to fight right now.

I considered maybe I had it, and like you said, maybe a bout in the bed was what brought it on. However, the flu symptoms and complete exhaustion tell me that's not the case. In fact, it's all lined up with a primary infection. Plus, I know my history and it's been barren since my last test this summer which included a PCR test for HSV2 long, long...long after the window period expired. As far as I'm concerned, the CDC, Congress, the FDA, and the rest of 'em can kiss my chaffed and pimply butt right now. They're a big part of the reason we have this huge health problem. They've hamstrung medical research to the point that nothing can get done. If they'd back away and let people like Jenner experiment and use their brains to cure things like Smallpox, we might actually have a therapeutic vaccine by now. But, no, some staffer in some office in DC decides to create one more regulation, one more hurdle, one more BS reason to block and control medical research. Further, our government spends $600 billion on defense to keep us safe; They spend $31 billion on medical research. So, while we're safe from the Russkies, we're dying of AIDS, cancer, diabetes, and suffering from The Herps. If you trust DC, I've got oceanfront in Tucson I want to sell you at a great price. End rant. Ok, not quite. The funny thing is that 1/6th of this country has the Herps. That's a helluva constituency if it can be mobilized. That's 50 times larger than the AIDS lobby, and roughly twice the size of the diabetes lobby. AIDS has the red ribbon. Diabetes has their big red A, maybe we need the big red blister to get the message across. BTW, I heard the FDA halted a phase iii trial of the once daily Pritelivir being done by AiCuris earlier this year. Something about toxic at 20 times the dose, even though the doses don't build up in normal functioning livers, kidney's, etc. I found some basic data that showed it was more effective than Valtrex, took care of resistant strains, and was more tolerable with fewer side effects. Anyone hear anything more? The news and chatter since early summer has been pretty sparse.

Alright, I'll take PJ's suggestion and get a bottle. Honestly though, this last OB went away in 4 days from first blister to finish. Of course, I'm getting tingling AGAIN which has got me wanting to give this a try just in case. Does anyone else get tingling as their OB's come to a close, or is this what I fear it is? God, I can't believe I'm having to do this 2 days before Christmas! And, I have to be honest that in this very moment I'm not feeling a lot of love or Christmas cheer for the gal who gave this to me. I'm trying my best not to get bitter over the next few days. As long as I keep telling myself it's just a skin rash that will settle down in time, I just might accomplish that. But, right now if I saw her the conversation would not be pleasant.

Well, hopefully I won't need to worry about it for a while... I still think I'd rather pop a pill and spread some aloe and melissa baum. But, I'm seeing a lot online about the acetone so there may be something to try. Again, hopefully it'll be a while.

Oh, that's exactly what I'm thinking. Believe me. After this last week, I'm willing to try about anything to protect peter.

Ok, I'll give it a try. But, the problem I have is my tingles don't happen where the breakout occurs. I get tingles all over my legs, thighs, butt, feet, and then the breakout occurs somewhere entirely different.

Clone away:) It's a question I'm asking myself, too. Yes, there was oral, both protected and very briefly unprotected. Condoms didn't break at all either during that or penetration. The first OB occurred I believe around either the waste removal portal or my thigh. It was so mild I barely noticed it. But, there was plenty of rubbing and cuddling before and after we put the Trojans on and for all I know my li'l Spartan picked it up during that as I had fought like Leonidas at the battle of 300 Minute Pass, and the sheets were soaked by the time we finished. I know I've had HSV1 since I was a kid, and I did ask a doctor who said the possibility of getting HSV1 on my li'l soldier is extremely remote. That said, I also had a wicked sore throat that started 1 day after all of this. So, it is possible (albeit very unlikely) she has HSV2 orally and doesn't know it. In which case, that could have been the transfer point. So, two unlikely but possible routes. I'll never know which. What I do know is that something inside me really cares about her. There's a 15 year difference, a culture barrier, and a slight language difference. Still, she awoke a lot of feelings inside me that had been dead for a long time, and we've really connected with an emotional/physical bond. Herps, or no herps, I'm grateful for that. But, it's a high price to pay to feel "manly" again.

Acetone? Now, I've had some strange things on my willy over the years, but Acetone is not going to join the list. I think I'm going to stick with the Melissa Baum. I've heard some good things about that. If that doesn't work, well, maybe, maybe then I'll think about acetone.

My OB's occur right on the foreskin. I have heard that friction can cause an OB. This presents somewhat of a problem as, well, a little friction is what sets the Big O off. I went rounds with a well lubed Five Finger Sal last week to celebrate the end of my first OB, and well, Bam! welcome back cooties. The prospect of having an OB every time I have sex or schedule a scrimmage has got me a little concerned right now. My question is if any of you have experienced a post-orgasm OB, and if you have, is there a way to shut it down before it starts?

Stress causes your immune and other systems/organs to get off track. The inbalance that creates makes it possible for the virus to surface and raise hell. The virus is constantly circulating, and our bodies are always fighting it. Whether it's the CD8 cells on the skin or beneath the surface, they're on constant patrol for this li'l bugger. The inbalance creates a window for it to break through that our immune system is able to block most of the time. It's the same reason women sometimes get OB's following periods, and when all of us can get them when we get a cold. When the hormones and immune system are off kilter and pre-occupied with other things, well, Captain Herp and the Blister Boys like to come out and play. As far as feeding the virus, the only thing I know about that is that arginine is its favorite food. I've been doping myself with lysine to counter it and it seems to be working pretty well so far.

Well, Doc. It's good to meet you. Let's be friends. I'm not going to make him pay rent, but I am going to kick his butt if he plays his music too loudly. Oh, he made a trip down to the basement and made doing anything down there a bit uncomfortable for a few days. We nipped that behavior in the butt quickly. More seriously, I barely knew the woman I slept with. It was a one-night-stand in a foreign country that started to develop. It was an instant and strong connection.. I can't blame her as it took two of us to tango, and she was one of the 80% who didn't know. The real irony? My horoscope for the day said "Get ready for the most intense sexual experience you've ever had." Boy, was that right on the money...in more ways than one. I broke it to her a few days ago, she doesn't accept it yet and is still in denial. She'll go to the doc on 1/2, and she's going to get a shocking surprise when the test results come back and I already know that. I'll be there if she wants me to be, and even though we have a May-December thing going on, and we come from completely different backgrounds, I genuinely care for her and already know I'm going to have to be super strong, and super forgiving for both of us. Being acrimonious isn't going to do either of us any good anyway, and, well, at least now I know one other person I can talk to about it in person. Though, this isn't exactly the best way to start a relationship. At least not my preferred way. p.s. The kimono is silk. I drink green tea, and the last 6 hour bout in the ring is why I'm in this position now. I'm just hoping that this little development doesn't change my ability to go rounds with the best of 'em in the future. I'm also hoping that my short and celibratory (sic) scrimmage match last week with Five Finger Sally isn't the reason the second OB was triggered. pps: I was wearing both socks of latex and cotton, and neither did any good. ppps: So you mean that my inadvertent attempt to autoinoculate myself and turn my ankle into a permanent alarm clock I'd never miss has failed? Well, it was worth a try and good to hear as well.