HerryTheHerp

Alright, take a breath. Take a deep breath. A couple of things you've got going for you here. One, he likes you enough to come visit from another state (that's a big deal) and he's also got a medical background. Big pluses. As far as the "crazy' stuff thing goes, well, I think he was referring to a young girl coming in with an STD, not the STD itself. I'm sure he's seen plenty of diseases, illnesses, and viruses. They won't bug him as much, but it will concern him who's getting them, and boy, is he gonna be surprised, right? That's not how you need to be thinking. Got it? Stay strong. Stay confident. Remember, he'll already be more comfortable with the topic than most. The more confident, knowledgeable, informative you are, the more comfortable, confident, relaxed he'll be. You know that. Just stay calm. How do you tell him? Well, if it were me... I'd light some candles, print out a packet of information with a cover letter that goes over your story, throw in an FC2 female condom for a little extra protection, leave it in a sealed envelope on the couch because he may or may not know a lot about it. Then I'd put on my sexiest lingerie while wearing a sash that reads "I am a herpetic Goddess." Then, walk back into the living room and see where it goes. I call it the "Red Shoe Diaries Temptational Informational." He'll appreciate your boldness. Alright, I'm a guy and that's how I'd want to be told, and even if you don't do this, keep the thought in your mind because it'll shore you up emotionally however you do tell him. ;) Look, you are a beautiful woman. You're an attractive woman. You're a good woman. You have some amazing qualities that he's clearly attracted to. You have a skin condition. It happens to be a contagious skin condition, but that's all it is. Remember that. Focus on who you are, and remember that herpes isn't who you are, it's just something you have. Your dad, your ex, your previous disclosure are in the past and mean nothing anymore. Again, no dad likes his daughter having sex. It's just the way it is and will always be. Remember, all grandchildren are the product of immaculate conception. And your ex? Well, your ex's your ex's for a reason, and don't make the new guy pay for the things they did or didn't do; and stop yourself pay for it as well. As an added step, and it's your call. Get a full panel STD test, and ask him to bring one as well. Then compare notes. By knowing everything that is or isn't on the table, it will make the conversation a little more balanced. Just a thought.

It's funny how life brings people together at random moments and over random events. Whether the diagnosis is given in Baltimore or Boston, Winnipeg or Warsaw, people from all over the world are flocking to this forum in search of guidance and support in their moments of crisis. There's a reason for that. It's because this forum is a magnet for Angels. Angels like you and I whose wings have been clipped but whose spirits have not been broken. Like a beacon in the dark night and uncertain waters we've found ourselves thrust into from the stability and comfort of our pre-diagnosis selves, this forum that Adrial has created stands out as a safe haven where nothing is off-limits from discussion and all are welcome. It's a place where questions can be asked without fear, and honest answers can be received without judgement. It's a place where random strangers who share a virally enhanced bond can begin to heal the physical and emotional wounds that herpes can cause. Perhaps this is your first visit here, perhaps it's your 100th. Either way, you're reading through this forum for a reason. You're here because in some way you've been affected by this virus. You may have herpes. You may be concerned that you have herpes. You may have been asymptomatic and passed this li'l bug to someone you cared about. Whatever the reason, you've found a reliable, solid, and trustworthy shelter in the storm where all you will find is friendship and support. It's full of some amazing people going through the same things you are; and all of us are at different stages of the journey. I promise you this, if you reach out your hand and share whatever you are going through, someone will reach out to you and help lift you up and guide you where you want to go. Perhaps it will be a long-term veteran, or perhaps it will be someone who received their diagnosis on the same day you did. Either way, you'll find that you are far from alone and that there are plenty of real life Angels here ready to take you under their wings to help protect you and heal you. I've been participating in the forum for about a month. I joined the day I received the news. In that time I've made some amazing and genuine friends. Too many to list. There's the Dancer who sets me straight, the Dr. to be who keeps me grounded, the mommy who keeps me truckin', the nanny who loves to read, the free spirit whose youth is inspiring, and most recently the guy who has convinced me I need to get my rather large butt back in the gym. At times I've lifted them up and carried them when they stumbled, and in return, they've carried me when my feet have slipped as the ground shifted. Indeed, they've carried me a lot this past week as my own fears and concerns unexpectedly bubbled to the surface. Had it not been for herpes, I don't know if I ever would have met these amazing people. Had it not been for this forum, I know I never would have. As you read this wondering whether or not you should reach out, or put your own post up, well, the answer is that yes you should. That's because all of our stories and all of our experiences form a mosaic that is life with herpes. Within that mosaic is a piece of information that someone else is looking for and that you hold the key to answering for them. Whether it's a fear, concern, a safety tip, uplifting story, or treatment suggestion, thousands of people can benefit from what you have to share. By adding your story, your questions, and your knowledge to the discussion, you're helping to enhance the picture and make things a little bit clearer for us all. Most importantly, by reaching out and participating you'll begin healing your own wings so that when the time is right, you can take someone under them and help them heal. By doing so, you'll be perpetuating a cycle that 540 million people around the world will benefit from. And, that cycle starts right here with this forum full of real life Angels that you are now a part of.

Hey Mel, God doesn't negotiate. I've tried bargaining with him all day but he's being a little stubborn. Keeps throwing that whole "I created the world in 6 days, and you can't even get the laundry in the machine in 8" bit right back at me. He's a tough negotiator. But, he's a great listener. He's also a great friend. He'll listen to your problems, your concerns, and your fears; then he'll guide you to the resources and friends who can help you. That's just the way he works and that's why you're here. Kind of wish he worked the other way because if he did I would have married Erin Taylor years ago and we'd be living in our mansion in Malibu right now raising our absolutely adorable children as I polish my Ferrari, but alas, I digress. Keep talking with your boyfriend. Keep reassuring each other. You're a team, and you shouldn't let something like this break you apart. Herpes is a dangerous virus not because of the physical damage it can cause, but because of the emotional havoc it can wreak. That said, you two sound like you really care for each other. If you go through this together, hand in hand, arm in arm, well, neither of you two are ever going to have to worry about dating ever again because you've found that one person the Almighty wanted you to find. For now, take care of the medical side of things, just don't neglect the emotional/relationship side. This man cares about you, and he wants to be there for you, and with you. Be there for each other and you're gong to discover that your prayers have been answered in spades.

I really needed to interject a dose of Good Morning Vietnam and the 80's into my day. Somehow, a little Adrian Cronauer seemed appropriate. Glad you laughed. Stay tuned for Forrest...

That's right ladies and gentlemen, it's hump day here in Herpieville. If the bumps have you down it's time to pick your panties up out of the bucket of aloe you're drowning your blisters in. You know hump day, I know hump day, we all love hump day! Hump day is how we all joined the Herpster Club to begin with. Or, was that Humping Day? Oh, too much wine and we can't remember! Oh God, Oh God...Oh my gaaaawd where'd that come from! If the blisters and prodomes have you feeling as if you're never going to score again, just remember you could either have herpes or Dennis Rodman's travel agent. If you end up with either, you've been screwed but at least herpes doesn't come with a li'l dicktator forcing you to play with his balls. Been there, done that, and you've got the blisters and some Valtrex to prove it. As you head out into the world today remember that many great men and women throughout history have also had STD's. John Keats' lesser known ode to syphilis originally began as "When I have fears that I may cease to pee," and Scott Joplin was known as quite the entertainer years before he finally wrote "The Entertainer." Here's a little riddle for you: What's the difference between a Herpster and Robin Williams? Nothing, they both have herpes! That's right folks, Mrs. Doubtfire is hiding quite a few hairy little secrets under that dress of hers. And, for you guys out there that are feeling extra feminine these days because you have a virus inside you that's named after her, just remember, you had to get inside of her before it could get inside of you. Herpes! The only gift given to 540 million people that's less popular than an Amway Membership. Hungry and on a budget? No problem! Simply head on down to your local all-you-can-eat buffet and announce at the top your lungs that you have herpes! You'll clear the place out faster than a condom salesman at a porn shoot. "Yeow!" Oh, look everyone. The ghost of James Brown has stopped by. Mr. Brown, what do you think of herpes? "Yeooow, don't feel good!" On a bad date that just isn't getting the motor running? The good news is you don't have to phone a friend, come down with a headache, or develop an emergency case of dandruff that you need to rush home and take care of. Simply announce you have herpes and voila! dorko vanisho! Speaking of magic, let's ask our little wizard friends what they know about herpes. Ron, we hear there was an outbreak of herpes at Hogwarts. "Yes, that's correct." Any idea how that happened? "Drako was asking everyone if they wanted to play with his magic wand to discover the secret that we shall not speak of." Ron, did Drako give you have herpes. "No, don't be daft." There you have it folks, the snake from slitherin' was hufflepuffing his way through campus this year. And, if you're feeling down, remember you could be Ronald Weasley. That's right, you could have herpes, no soul, and still get married to the hottest chick in school. "Yeow!" James Brown everyone. So, as you head out into the world today, keep your head up high, keep your wit sharp, and let your spirit soar. Remember, you are the Warrior!

Yeah, everything she said with one exception. We have to stop using the word "clean" when it comes to this. Many of us already have the psychological stigma of feeling "dirty" by having this. We have to get into, and stay in the habit of saying "positive/negative." Otherwise, we are helping to promote the stigma and denigrate the wonderful, beautiful, and amazing people we are.

Breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. You'll get through this. Herpes can be frustrating. One minute everything is going fine and the world is your oyster. The next minute, well, SQUIRREL! ;) Don't let this little virus break your heart. Either way, let it guide you to being the person you want to be. What happens if you get a confirmation either way? Well, when that happens you get to move forward with your life. If it's positive, you'll know. If it's negative, you'll know. And, either way, you will accept the results because you are a strong, confident, brave woman. Now, if you're getting blood work done during an ob, and there's anything visible, make sure to get a swab test on top of the blood test. Either way, what I told you earlier about the 4 month window on a blood test still stands, and at 4 months, you'll have a 100% accurate answer. Good luck! We're all here for you!

You're stronger and braver than you realize. You've taken some big steps towards a new life. You've taken a major blow to your ego, your self-esteem, and your plans, but you've picked yourself up and you're moving forward. One. Step. at. a. Time. We're all crossing our fingers that you hit that 3 month mark without another OB. The likelihood is that you will. HSV1 downstairs is a pretty quiet roommate. And, you've found a friend you can talk to, rationalize it with, and commiserate with when you need to. That's always a good thing. Of course, we all go through this in our own time, and in our own ways. Bubble baths, wine, long-walks, and diaries are popular healing aids and we've all used some combination to get us through the early days of a diagnosis. You've also taken some bold steps to cut the negative folks and energy out of your life. That will go a long, long way towards helping you heal. And, the more comfortable you get, the more relaxed you get, the less lonely those nights will become. Almost everyone in this forum knows exactly how you feel. Use those nights to focus on you, and your needs. Use those nights to discover ways you can fill the gaps in your heart on your own by using the strength you have within you. This is going to make you a stronger woman, a better partner, and eventually, an amazing wife for someone who loves you deeper than any man you've ever met before. Maybe they'll have herpes, maybe they won't, but they're going to be glad you do. They're going to be glad because they're going to see how those tiny little bumps have turned you into an incredible woman whose internal beauty is far greater than anything the eyes can see. And, in the end, that internal beauty is what cultivates true love and lasting relationships that we all long to have. As far as the guy who was spouting off goes, well, see how herpes covered your back? Yeah, you weren't interested, but you could have played that to your advantage in so many ways. One day, another guy that you are interested in is going to make that same mistake with you, and God help him when he does because I have a strong feeling you're gonna set the record straight with him and educate him in ways that he will never forget. Good luck!

A swab is best in the early days of an infection because your body hasn't built up the antibodies to sufficient levels yet. As a result, it's possible to receive a false negative if you take a blood test within 4 months of exposure. After 4 months the blood tests are considered 100%. I'd be surprised if your doctor did a visual inspection and didn't confirm it with a swab and a blood test. It's of course possible, but again, I'd be surprised. You can of course call the doctors office and ask for a copy of your record if you can't remember. In any event, you should determine whether it's HSV1 or 2, and the only way to do that is to have an antibody test because you cannot determine that visually. Since you are going in in February, make sure they run the test. At this point, it will be 100% accurate. You will also want your boyfriend to get tested now. If he is negative, you will want to talk with your doctor about going on suppressive therapy and taking steps to minimize the transmission risk. Good to hear he loves you and you can show him that you love him back by taking steps to protect him.

Mid-Thirties guy here, acquired it from a woman who was cheating on her boyfriend, so I can kind of relate to your story a little bit. That first disclosure can be scary. No matter how much you rehearse it or prepare for it, it can get jumbled and you're going to be nervous. It sounds like that's exactly what happened. That's ok. You went up to bat, and instead of hitting a home run, you got a base hit. You're still in the ballgame, though. The fact that he didn't bolt right away, asked you to stay, and you guys spent the evening cuddling is a pretty good indication of that. So, you've got another date. That means you can still run the bases (sorry, I'm anxious for Spring Training, so it's baseball advice mode today!) So, he's not sure if he could handle it? Well, that's normal. None of us are sure at first, and it's a pretty big thing to consider. Don't get too nervous over that and you fully expected him to go home, ponder it, think about it, rationalize, etc. That's why you told him. Remember, you've had two years to process it. He's had a few days. He knows he has a choice, and he knows you didn't. The fact that he empathized with you is a pretty good sign. He's mature, responsible, and he sounds like he really does care. Sounds like he's a good one, but you've only known him a few weeks. Get to know him, and get to know him real well and then see where it goes. Now, you've got a chance to change the line-up a bit. Did you talk to him about suppressive therapy? Did you tell him that you can go on suppressives, use condoms, not have sex during an outbreak and reduce the transmission risk to about 2%? If you didn't, you need to. That's a big piece of news that he may discover on his own, but go ahead and tell him if you haven't. Don't rush things or go into stalker paranoia mode. That will smother him and push him away. Just be you. Let him fall in love with you gradually, and remember, the more comfortable and confident you are, the more comfortable and confident he will be. He's going to respect you for telling him, and that will go a long way towards how he feels about you and how he wants to pursue things. He's also going to respond to your cues. Thus, if you're nervous, embarrassed, ashamed, well, that will put him into those mindsets as well. Conversely, if you keep telling yourself it's just a little skin condition that's no different than a cold sore on a lip, he's going to adopt that mindset as well and all the folks down in Mudville are going to cheer you on. I can guarantee you he's gone online and started researching. He probably knows just how insignificant the physical damage is if he's gone to reading instead of just looking at those awful pics Google puts up, and by now, he's read, and seen, how significant the emotional/psychological impact can be. You showed that to him. If he's serious about you as a person and a long-term relationship, and not just a roll in the hay, well, he's going to get to know you better and take it from there. Bottom line, you opened your heart and shared a deeply personal and painful secret with someone you are just getting to know. It felt right, you took a big chance, and he held you in his arms without running away. It's still the first inning, and way too early to call the game either way. Just hold your head up high, be honest, be open, and see what happens during your next at bat this weekend.

Hi Someone, Yes, outbreaks can appear as paper like cuts. Outbreaks are different for everyone, and they can change over the years. You need to have a blood test to confirm HSV1 or HSV2. There is no way to look at it and determine if it is herpes or not; the only way to do that is with a blood test. I hope you disclosed to your boyfriend that you believe you have herpes before you had sex. That's important and the right thing to do. It's also important for anyone who is sexually active to have regular STD testing, and remember, you have to ask for HSV1 and HSV2 to be included as they are not part of the standard STD panel. That said, sex can trigger outbreaks. You need to be sure to use plenty of lube and I'd advise going slow until your body is used to your partner and you know how not to trigger outbreaks. As far as needing to take Acyclovir, well, you can if you have herpes, but again, you've said nothing that confirms that. Thus, it would be a good idea for you to visit your gynecologist, get your tests, and then proceed based on those results.

I'll vouch for the blisters at the tip and in the urethra. Ouchers! Thank God for prescription strength painkillers!

Ok, so your boyfriend sounds like he's pretty much in the clear assuming he hadn't had sex with anyone else in the 4 months prior to his test. I said 6 months earlier and was wrong; the new tests are considered 100% accurate at 4. Under the old guidelines, you doctor would be right and that would be a low positive. The old guidelines. The CDC revised those back in 2010 because they discovered that lots, and lots of people getting those .9's and 1's were actually negative. So, breath. If you and your boyfriend both have negative HSV1 and HSV2 tests, and neither of you have done the bedroom boogie with anyone else in the 4 months prior to the day you took your tests, well, uncork that champagne, get out the strawberries, put on that negligee, pull out the Trojans, and get down to boogie and play that funky music all night long ba bam bow. And, if it turns out you are in fact negative (I sincerely hope you are, and I sincerely believe you are based on what you've written and your recent results, well, this one's for you from all of us on the forum.)

Well, welcome news and I'd accept it with a smile as long as she confirmed the negative result for both HSV1 and HSV2. Anything under 1 is almost certainly a negative. In fact, I think the new guidelines say anything between 1-3 is a possible false positive. If your boyfriend and you have both been tested, and both show negative right now, and you've both been 100% monogamous in the six months you've been together, then something else caused your li'l cold sore like blister. There are in fact a number of diseases that can cause those ranging from deep foliculitis to other common bacterial infections. Here's the problem with trying to give a timeline to your test results: Herpes doesn't always transmit. So, if it transmitted 6 months ago when you got back together, well, then your test results should be positive by now. But, if it transmitted just a month or two ago, well, you'd still be in the window. Since you're in a relationship and I'm assuming had sex a few times or more in the past six months, well, the only way to completely rule it out is for your boyfriend to get tested. If he doesn't have it, then it's a safe, safe bet that neither do you.

Dancer, as a guy, I think it should be noted that we men discovered the whole pee in the shower secret long before we ever acquired herpes. We're still baffled it took a medical diagnosis for you lady folk to figure out what we learned long before we entered pre-school.

Women in purple pants are not afraid of anything. Purple is a royal color, and you are still the queen you were before the blisters invaded your beltline. Show those blisters that if they want to live in your kingdom, they're going to be your loyal subjects...or else you're going to unleash Prince Valtrex to deal with them. Deal with the pain, the tenderness, and the discomfort as best you can. There are some great suggestions on here in that regard. And, remember, no one in that room can see the blisters. You're not wearing a purple h on your shirt. And, remember that statistically, 1 in 4 women, and 1 in 6 men wear the same scar where no one else can see it. That scar doesn't change who you are, what you're capable of, and the quality of your work. If you think it does, remember Keats, Beethoven, Gauguin, Van Gogh, Howard Hughes, and Toulouse LaTrect all had syphilis; and they still managed to leave some fairly memorable marks on this world. You have a choice: You can think of yourself as a 24-year old with a lifelong and occasionally blistery companion. Or... You can think of yourself as a bright, attractive, and in demand designer with a brilliant future ahead of you. It's an easy choice if you ask me.

I have to agree with everything you said. It's sad that we live in a society where we have to follow Reagan's advice and "trust, but verify" when it comes to our romantic lives. It's too bad, but I guess it's the way it is. Good advice Dancer. Good advice.

Yeah, it's funny how the blisters and burning can hurt your soul worse than they ding the skin. That's the worst thing about herpes is that the damage it does can't be easily treated with a pill. We can all relate. We've all been right where you are. I visited that place just a couple days ago. Logically, you're right; it's just a skin condition. That's your brain talking. Emotionally though, it's a skin condition that changed your life and that hurts. Those feelings come from the heart. That stings and it's ok to feel that way. In fact, go have a cry. Go have a good, long, sit in the shower for an hour long cry. Don't worry about water ecology because there's a provision in the Clean Water Act that allows for excess water usage during times of severe emotional stress. That's what I do when I go to that place, and about 1/2 way through the shower, I realize that I'm not alone, that 540 million other people have done the same thing, and that we all get out of that shower realizing that hey, it's just a skin condition that settles down as the years pass by. And, you may not feel like it, but you can talk to anyone on this forum about it. We'll listen. We understand the diagnosis and the stress having an outbreak adds to that. It's like salt in the wound, eh? Well, this forum is like salve in that very same wound. Never discount your feelings. Good, bad, joyous, or painful; you should feel however you want to feel. So, you should feel however you feel, and allow those feelings to come out. That's the only way to get through the tough times and get back to living life the way you want to live it. Now, if you're not feeling beautiful, let me just share this little tidbit of farmer's wisdom. Think of herpes as fertilizer. It's shit. It smells awful, looks awful, and feels awful. But, throw some of that fertilizer on the ground, plant a seed in the middle of it, give it some water and some sunlight, and one day a beautiful flower will blossom and grow from it. Your emotions are the water, and your actions are the sun; just let your flower blossom as you rise above the fertilizer.

I'm gonna rant a little bit. Alright, I'm gonna rant a lot. First, if you're old enough to do the mattress mambo, you're old enough to know what might be floating around in between the sheets. Not only is it your responsibility to test yourself, it's your partners responsibility to test themselves. Why? Because sex is a big responsibility. Between babies and STD's, there are some real consequences to spending the night with someone. More importantly, it's important to be honest with the people you sleep with. Too, too many of us are here because someone lied to us. That's a tough pill to swallow. That's a pill that you can gag a life on. So, get tested, be honest, face your concerns head on and deal with them head on. Modern medicine is phenomenal, but it's no substitute for honest communication.

Yes, yes I did. What can I say, I'm more of a Vivaldi and Mozart kind of guy. ;)

Everyone's triggers are different and they can change over time. That's one of the most annoying things about this virus. So, Does shaving trigger it? It can. I wouldn't say it makes it more likely. Does doing the hokey pokey trigger it? It can. Use plenty of lube, and it probably won't. Some people say that hard, rough, and fast can trigger it, so you might want to slow it down a bit as you get back into the swing of things. Does conducting a scrimmage in anticipation of the hokey pokey trigger it? It can. Again, lots of lube, go slow, see what happens. Bottom line: You'll have to discover your triggers for yourself because we're all different. Women are like a complex computer panel with dials, knobs, switches, and buttons galore. Think of your H as just one more button. Adjust the settings on the computer, figure out where that button is, and then put tape over it when you discover it so no one ever pushes it. Good to hear your boyfriend is testing. Unfortunately, unless you do a swab test of blisters, there's no real way to tell where the virus is hanging out as a blood test won't do that.

Four words: Dental dam, problem solved.

Yep, that about sums it up. Wouldn't need to have had it for years, I think most doctors consider the risk of auto-inoculation virtually non-existent after about 6 months post-infection. And, again, there just isn't a chance that you could pass it back anywhere on your dancing partner's body.

HSV1 is very common. Between 60-70% of America has it. HSV2 is also very common. Between 20-25% of America has it. Those are some big numbers. Those are some really big numbers. And HPV? 79 million Americans already have an HPV infection. That's right. 79 million, and like HSV1 and 2, most don't know it. That's roughly 1/2 of everyone in America over 18. There are over 40 types of HPV, and only a few have the potential to cause problems. In fact, most strains of HPV are cleared by your body in just a couple of years. So, take a breath. Take a deep, deep breath. You've hit a moment. A moment we all hit. That moment when we realize our mortality and our frailty. It's a tough moment, and we all go through it. Whether we're 18 and we find out we have HPV, or 80 and the doctor says it's cancer; that moment finds us all. It's that moment when we realize that our bodies are not infallible. It's that moment when the Disney fairy tale comes crashing down in front of our eyes. It's that moment when we realize we're human. Still, there's a big silver lining here. It's a big one and you need to look up in the sky because it's right there for you to see. First, HSV1 and 2 aren't going to hurt you. Yes, they can cause emotional, and the occasional physical discomfort. There is absolutely no evidence; let me state that again, there is absolutely no evidence that HSV1 or 2 make HPV worse or more dangerous. I've read through plenty of research, and haven't found a shred to substantiate that concern. So, keep eating healthy. Keep exercising. Keep an eye on the HPV, and if a problem arises, you'll have the ability to deal with it immediately. The good news is that you know. As GI Joe said, "knowing is half the battle." That knowledge will keep you in tune with your body, and if something comes up you can take care of it right away. I've known 3 women who had cervical cancer all before 25. All three caught it early, found wonderful men afterwards, and now all three have 1-3 children each and very happy marriages with men I'm more than happy to call friends. As far as partners, well, relationships that last are built on honesty. Not telling a partner is a big "no no." Disclosure is cardinal rule #1 if you have permanent STD's like everyone else in this forum. It's an integrity issue, and it's a line you don't ever cross because it's a slippery slope into other "little white lies." Never try and build a relationship on a cracked foundation because eventually that crack will bring the house down. I fully agree with you that modern love can be fleeting. But lasting love is accepting. If your partner won't accept a minor skin condition, a commonly accepted cold sore, or a non-harmful virus like HPV (that odds are, he already has) then how will they accept the "biggies" life throws at all of us that range from Cancer to MS, and Alzheimer's to heart disease? Do you really want that kind of man standing by your bedside when you're 90 years old and the doctor comes into your hospital room? No, you don't, and neither does anyone else in this forum. If that moment ever comes, you want a warrior by your side who's gonna say "Cancer? We're gonna beat this thing together." That's the kind of man you're looking for, and contrary to what you may think, there are still a few of us around. As far as not being attractive? Well, I'm a guy. You know what we really find attractive? You know what Cosmo doesn't tell you? I mean, what really sets our hearts pounding in our chest? Sure, the boobs, the butts, and the beauty get the engine started through lustful eyes, but they don't keep it going for very long. What keeps it going month after month, and year after year is the woman you are inside. That's the woman who is smart, funny, kind, honest, compassionate, gentle, and strong. Those are the qualities of a woman a man really falls in love with. Those are the qualities we start families with, raise children with, and take our last breaths on this mortal coil thanking God we found. Your ex was a bastard. Many of the people on this forum can relate, myself included. We all kissed a toad and came up with warts and a few blisters (oh yeah, I went there!) Even though you feel alone, you are far from it and there's lots of people who share the same story. But, now you know what a toad looks like. Now you know what a toad acts like. Having that knowledge will help you spot a true prince when you find him. So, put one foot in front of the other and keep walking. Learning these lessons is what life is all about, and the journey is truly worth all the stumbles and falls we take along the way because when we get up to see St. Pete at the end of our walk, the first thing he's going to ask is "What did you learn? What did you discover about yourself, about humanity, and about love?"

Alright, so I'm not quite sure whether I'll be awarded the "genius" or "dummy" award for this, but sometimes herpes can be funny. I'm having another OB today. Yep, my 3rd in 2 months. Yay! Now, that in and of itself should be upsetting. But, I'm actually kind of happy right now. I'm actually laughing maniacally. Why is that? Why in God's name would I be happy that I'm having yet another OB? Well...because like a mad scientist, I auto-inoculated my ankle during my primary (ok, it was an accident and a long-story). But, tonight as the prodome subsides and the two tiny little blisters form, it's right there on my ankle. Nowhere else. Not on my thigh. Not on my bum. Not on my, well, you know. Not on the testicle twins. Not around the waste disposal portal. My ankle is breaking out. So, let's see where this experiment leads. If Herry the Herp wants to go at it with my ankles from now on, I'm not going to argue or try and change that. Fine. By. Me. Just leave everything else alone.