HerryTheHerp

Yeah, I bet that sucker's past it's expiration date. Never used one, but I did buy my first one after watching that scene in Pretty Woman. Never did find a girl like Julia Roberts, though. Bummer.

I can't even find the words. An incredible presentation. Excellent choice to share.

First things first, welcome to the club! You are far from alone and statistics show that 25% of America also joined the club, but only 80% of them know they're even in it. You, me, and so many others are on the front lines because we do show symptoms. Here's my two cents, and like you, I found out not that long ago and have been doing more research on it than I care to think about. 1. Immune System boosters. Don't waste your money. Remember those guys selling snake oil in those old Hollywood westerns? Yep. That's what it is. There is no medically proven way to boost immunity. All of our immune systems are different and have a peak efficiency level determined by our genetics. Thus, things like eating healthy, living healthy, not smoking (I have no room to talk), etc. are the only proven ways to keep it working effectively. There is no pill that will supercharge it. 2. Health aids. Things like Melissa Baum, Tea Tree Oil, Raw Honey, Aloe/Zinc creams, etc. have been shown to provide natural remedies to herpes ailments. Like you, many of us are not big fans of big pharma's chemical prescriptions. As far as Lysine, a maximum of 1500mg a day is all you need. Your body can't process/absorb any more than that. Anything above that number simply gets flushed out and you're wasting money on extra pills. Also, I'm a big proponent of broccoli. There was a study a long, long time ago that showed the substance indole-3 carbinol found within cruciferous veggies was highly effective against the herpster. I simply added it to my diet, and while I don't know if it's placebo or real, I've noticed a difference. 3. You're in the adjustment period right now. Me too (as are a lot of people reading this!) Our bodies are just discovering how to cope with this virus. Your OB's are going to be a little strange right now, but don't think they're establishing a pattern just yet. I had an almost silent primary OB, followed by 3 weeks of living hell. Then nothing. Not even a solitary tingle. Each of us responds differently, and you'll just need to give it time to know how yours is going to cope. If you want, start a calendar. When you have an OB, write down all the things that you think might be triggering it. That will help establish patterns that you can adjust your life around to prevent them. Well, except for Mother Nature's monthly reminder of your womanhood. 4. The mind is like the A-Bomb to viruses, and especially ones like herpes. Being positive, staying upbeat, staying focused, and looking ahead instead of behind is essential. I even talk to my herpies, occasionally calling them nasty names, but hey, we have a love hate relationship going on. By staying positive, you allow your body to focus on the virus instead of letting your fears stress your immune system. In turn, your bodies immune system functions a lot more efficiently. 5. Meditation, yoga, exercise are great weapons to bring to the fight. They really do help. You also may want to consider adding counseling, hypnotherapy, and others into the mix. All of them can help you effectively make the transition into being HSV2 free to being virally enhanced. They might even be able to help you repair your relationship with your dancing partner. ;) 6. Cures, vaccines, and unknown medical miracles. I know you've looked them up, so I'm just going to address this. Yes, there are currently 5-6 good vaccine/therapeutic cure trials in various stages of the process. Some are promising and based on solid medical science. Some are long-shots. Some are even tied to the same HIV vaccine research that is making headlines. They're still at least 5-6 years off even if someone like Dr. Fraser hits a home run (He created the HPV vaccine Gardasil). 7. Yes, the mental and psychological impact of herpes is far worse than the physical. It's like the Hulk and if you let it, it can crush you. However, the moment you look in the mirror, flip it the bird, and say "I'm not going to let a temporary skin condition ruin my life" that big green monster becomes nothing more than a whimpering little puppy that occasionally pees on the carpet.

It's all part of our sexual reawakening. Most people don't realize just how different an experience sex can be when you take the time to choose the right condom. I know I didn't for a long, long time. Of course, I think the Dancing Queen and I are the only people on the forum "old" enough to remember the Gold Circle Coin. That was condom bling back in the 80's and 90's. If you pulled one of those out it was tantamount to pulling out the keys to a Ferrari. Compared to what they have now, that coin was nothing more than a horse drawn carriage.

Jim, listen to that crowd! This one is going, going, going, it's outta there! ***yaaaay*** That's right, she's out. She's proud. She's not ashamed of this any longer. She's going to own this mildly annoying skin condition for the rest of her life and hold her head high in the sky. There's no stopping this woman now. Look out world because from Toledo to Tampa there are real men and women reading this right now ready to step up to the plate to bask in the same glory Klopz has just discovered. It's a beautiful day in Herpieville and there's not a blister in the sky. The only tears that are falling on this chilly January morning are tears of joy as the actions of one strong woman have brought a little ray of sunshine into the hearts of the many. Ladies and gentleman, today we saw one brave woman out among the tens of millions in America affected by this insidious virus. She has taken a stand against ignorance, against shame, against intolerance. Alone at the plate and with the world watching, she pressed the upload key in a solitary gesture of defiance. That kind of courage is rare. It's to be celebrated. It's to be admired. It's to be followed. Wow, we can see this woman going all the way to the Herpies hall of fame! She gets a Purple Herpie all the way for this brave deed!

Valtrex is a great friend. He's probably the best friend many of us have ever had. 25 years is a long time to build a friendship, and I'm sure you've gotten to know eachother quite well. But, like all friendships, it's nice when they leave you alone to collect your thoughts and do other things than hang out with them all day long. Keep your chin up, and your spirits high. You're friend will go away soon and get off your porch so you can get on with living. And, of all the rants on this board, yours has got some serious panache! ;)

We double dog dare you! ;)

We do try. ;)

Snicker, snicker. Yeah, kind of opened myself up there. Oops, I did it again. :0

Welcome into the light! Feels good, doesn't it? It's a little awkward at first, but it grows on you. It's like swimming. You can dabble your toes in the water, or just dive in. The water might seem cold at first, but it warms up quickly. Everyone else, be careful. If she changes her photo to one that involves blue make-up, kilts, and swords she just might convince us all to storm Big Pharma with her demanding a vaccine. Further, if that photo involves her lifting that kilt of hers to show off the pair she's grown, just do what she says and don't ask any questions as you pick up your sword to follow her.

That's her. She's an amazing healer but she never answers her phone. ;) Some sites spell it baum, others balm. It's official name is Melissa Officianalis oil. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18693101

Going to get some of this to try out. Has anyone tried Melissa Baum? I've also heard that's pretty amazing.

Girls have cooties. Oh wait, so do I. Crap. ;)

I completely understand your boyfriend's desire not to wear them. They really can be uncomfortable and they really do cut the feeling down considerably. Plus, after a while they cut the circulation off and well, we all know what happens then. My suggestions are the following: Measure the winky carefully. The most important measure is girth (giggling ensues) I know it sounds trite, but it's like a nice suit. If you know how broad you are in the shoulders, it fits right and always feel comfortable to wear. There are plenty of size charts to follow online that will make finding the right rubber easier. Most guys don't realize this and assume all condoms are the same size. They're not. Personally, I found that I like the Lifestyle's Skyn Large. They're just a little wider, conduct heat a little better, and don't cause chafing. It's just as durable as latex but thinner and less stretchy, but you have to be careful because they are slippery little rascals because of the lube/material and can slip if you get too sexorbatic. Of course, there's also the FC2 female condom. I have one of these but haven't used it yet, so I can't speak from experience. However, it doesn't cause the constriction on the guy parts and allows for as close to a natural feel as possible. Supposedly, most women can't even feel the membrane so it feels natural for them as well. Also, since it covers the labia, it provides just a tad more protection against herpes than a male condom does. The nice thing about these is you can put them in hours before the game and be ready at kick-off time.

Thank you all so much for your comments, support, and suggestions. It really means a lot. It was a very long night and I'm not ashamed to admit it was filled with more than a few tears and a few angry walks around the neighborhood. I calculated it up this evening and came in at just under 10 miles. In the end, last night led to a disclosure to my best friend and my mother who just happened to call me while I was going through all this, both of whom were very supportive. So, one more foot out of the h+ closet I guess. It's hard enough "catching H" and coming to terms with it; it's even harder when the one person in the world who should be standing beside you with it turns their back on you in such a cold and cruel manner. I went through every emotion last night, went to bed about dawn, and woke up this afternoon realizing that yes, I have to tell the boyfriend in the near future. It's just the right thing to do. While I'm not blameless, the sooner he knows the better. I also reached out to the local LGBT organization. There's a possibility they know of some local H+ organizations/support. Google's been useless at finding them, and the clinic looked at me crosseyed when I asked. Plus, they have an English speaking counseling team that's skilled with STD's and the emotional toll they can take. So, one day at a time, one step at a time, and I am so grateful that I found this forum to help get me through the journey.

Sometimes even those of us who are strong and usually forward with hopeful eyes, well, even we get kicked in the guts from time to time. Tonight was one of those nights for me. I met her just before Thanksgiving. Her name is Justyna. It was a fast burning romance, something I'm not known for getting involved in. But, I liked her. The attraction was mutual and instant, and I wanted to see where it would go. We had a great weekend together and it felt right. It was passionate & was everything I'd been searching for all my life. I even believed her when we had "the talk" before we did anything and was confident she was telling me the truth. In hindsight, that was stupid on my part, but I'll have to live with that. What really stings is the memory of our last morning together when she told me about her boyfriend. That hurt. That stung as bad as the blisters that were to come later. That actually stung worse. We've emailed a few times since then, had a casual dinner and a coffee, & tonight I took her to coffee again. She didn't want to go but I insisted; after all it's always best to give bad news in person. I told her everything my doctor had told me, and what I've learned elsewhere including this forum. I gave her the facts, told her how I was hurt, and how the pain felt. Told her how I wasn't angry, just concerned and a little emotionally wounded. Told her how the blisters looked and how I waited until after Christmas to tell her because she had told me earlier she and her boyfriend were going on a romantic week of skiing together. I told her how she needed to be honest with him and that he needed to get tested, too. While she was off being loved and making love with someone she'd cheated on, I was at home nursing painful blisters and wondering if I'd ever be loved or hold another woman again. And, she didn't even care. She just looked across the table with cold, heartless eyes and with her arms folded she said "What do you want me to say? I'm sorry? I'm not. You got what you deserved. It's not my fault." Those were her words and I couldn't even look at her after she said them. We'd flirted, I'd romanced her, I'd discovered after the fact that I was the "other man" and been a gentleman about it after I found out she'd used me and lied to me, but somehow I deserved this. Somehow this is my fault. For the better part of an hour she barely said anything other than that. She wasn't even scared of the diagnosis or what else she might have gifted me with. There was no guilt, no remorse, no sympathy. No compassion whatsoever. The lifelong ramifications of her not telling me about her having herpes and telling me before we slept together didn't even register with her. All I wanted her to ask was "Are you OK?" A simple I'm sorry, maybe. But, the only thing that she was concerned with was the fact that I found out from someone else last week who her boyfriend is and could tell him about the affair. One quick push of the "send" key copying all of our emails to him is all it would take to achieve momentary justice for what she's done and how she's made me feel. I can't decide right now if that would be justice or revenge, so it's probably best to just wait and see how I feel in a few days. So, here I am. 36, single, never been loved, alone in a foreign country with no local support network, with an incurable and highly stigmatized virus inside me, and for the rest of my life I will have the knowledge that I got herpes from a cold, heartless woman who didn't sleep with me because she cared about me, or was attracted to me, or was even falling for me, but did so because she "was curious." And, I'm the one who gets to pay for her curiosity for the rest of my life. Now I know what real pain feels like and it hurts. It hurts bad. What the hell is wrong with people these days?

Actually, Jeter already has herpes. Might not be a bad option to consider. It'll make the disclosure a whole lot easier.

Big hug. Victoria, I don't know you that well, and I don't know how many men you've slept with. It doesn't matter and I don't think any of us in this forum really care. Everyone has a past, short or long, it's the past. What I see in what you write is a strong woman with a brilliant future. You're an angel to the people reading this forum and you should focus on their accolades and not the ignorance of a friend. If you must cry, make them tears of joy for you are accomplishing more than you know or realize at this point. Yeah, the stigma sucks. It hurts bad sometimes. It's had me in a funk for a few days, that's for sure. But, you did something today that makes you a genuine hero. You stood up to it. You stood up to a friend which is even harder to do. You earned a Purple "H" for your efforts. That's something all of us are going to have to do in the coming years.

I want you to look up in the sky and see that big hand that's reaching out from across the ocean to give you the biggest high five you've ever seen! I'm not one to casually swear in polite conversation, but G-damn! You go girl! We've all made comments like your friend. Most of us were in middle school, high school, or even college when we did it. Those were the days when life was black and white, and things like STD's were "dirty" and "evil" and only sluts, ho's, jocks, and studs got them. Most of those taunts, insults, and jokes were born out of ignorance and fear. Then we got older. We realized life is more of a gray than a black and white. Most of the people I know with herpes or any other STD's got them while being careful or by being with someone they cared about. I've never had unprotected sex, always been careful with what I did and with whom, and well, here I am. Here you are. Here we all are. Same boat regardless of how we got here. And Victoria, if I had a nickel for the number of "friends" and family who have blocked me on Facebook for one reason or another, well, let's just say I'd be a wealthy man. Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes people need to hear it even if it upsets them. Consider getting blocked on FB a badge of honor and wear it proudly because you stood up for something that was genuinely worth standing up for. There's one person that's upset at you; there's 60 million that are giving you a loud round of applause right now. Winning!

After throwing a pity party for the last couple of days that the Dancing Queen has been gracious enough to listen to, it's time to kick my butt back into gear. Yeah, reaching for the big guns to pull me out of my funk.

I'd say you're just normal. If your HSV2 results keep coming up negative and non-reactive, then it's 1 you're dealing with. Anxiety can definitely exacerbate both symptoms and recurrence rates. The good news is that 1 really does tend to quiet down with time. As far as atypical, I wouldn't say you're atypical. Either 1 or 2 can cause multiple OB's during the first year (but I think it's safe to say you don't have 2). 4-5 is the average for those of us who show symptoms with either. It's also typical that the OB's reduce in frequency and severity over time. Thus, I'd say you're pretty typical and following one of the already established patterns that millions upon millions of people before you have gone through. Now, if your blisters start forming patterns resembling alien crop circles, famous personages, or trademarked logos, at that point you might consider your situation atypical.

Ok, take a deep breath. Like you, most of us didn't realize it until after the fact. One of those things that the public education sex ed curriculum really should cover in greater detail. Because your partner had a cold sore present during the deed, the possibility is considerably greater that transmission occurred. It's also possible that if there was a little kissy kissy that preceded the sucky sucky that you'll get it orally, too. However, you don't know that for sure. Just because you've never had a cold sore doesn't mean you don't already have HSV1. Do your mom, dad, aunts, uncles, grandma, grandpa? If they do, and they ever gave you a goodnight kiss or shared a soda pop with you as a child, there's a strong likelihood you're worrying over nothing. In fact, there's an 80-90% chance you already have HSV1 and just don't know it. I have HSV1 and haven't had a cold sore in more than 2 decades. Yes, getting a blood test right now would be pointless. You're way too soon in the window period. However, if you do develop a blister or two down below, or on your lips, get to your local Planned Parenthood or your OB/GYN and have them do a swab test. Otherwise, a blood test might not show a confirmed positive for up to 6 months post exposure. Now, the mechanics and this is where you should take a deep breath. HSV1 down below is not as big of an issue as having HSV2 down below. HSV1 blister buddies below the beltway tend to be very mild with far, far fewer recurrences. It's quite possible that if you have 1 OB, it could very well be your last. It's also possible you'll be one of the 80% who never have a single symptom. Finally, get off Google. Google is evil. Google is full of really good, and really bad information. Stay off Yahoo especially as most of the people commenting in there couldn't make toast without adult supervision. Unless you can differentiate between the good, the bad, and the true, you're going to scare yourself needlessly. Stick to this site, nothing but straight shooters here.

I'll keep it short. 1. You can't pass the virus back and forth like you're concerned with. The likelihood is your partner has had it for a long while and has the antibodies built up throughout his body, so it just won't happen. However, if you've kissed him, you probably have it orally, too. 2. Don't worry about rates of transmission. HSV1 sheds less than HSV2, but like you said, 80-90% of the population already have 1. You can't reacquire it in a different location. Thus the possibility of you infecting someone who doesn't already have it is pretty low simply because most people already have it. 3. Since you're newly exposed, you'll want to take precautions such as washing your hands, avoid rubbing your genitals (the area from your knees to your waist, really) with your towel and then touching other parts of your body for the first few months until your body has the antibodies built up. You can autoinnoculate yourself (I got my ankles), but it's difficult. Just be cognizant and remember you're not a a walking Hazmat. Also, be very careful about touching your eyes for a while. That's a big one. 4. Everyone's body is different and will respond to HSV1 and 2 differently. Personally, I've done everything possible to intentionally set mine off without any success. I'm eating way too much chocolate, drinking plenty of caffeine, staying up late, drinking the occasional beer, and popping cashews, almonds, and honey roasted peanuts like a chipmunk in need of an intervention. Nothing's happened. In all honesty, HSV1 is tougher to trigger, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Experiment and see what happens. We all have to go through that phase. 5. You're fortunate. HSV1 down below is less active than 2. When either is out of their "comfort zone" they tend to recur far less and cause far fewer episodes.

I agree with the Dancer. It's strange how we're not comfortable talking about sex and sexuality, but we're constantly surrounded by it. Everything from Victoria's Secret and our music to porn and movie influences. It's strange. We're comfortable with the romantic and carnal aspects of it, but not the logistical and medical side of it. I have to be honest in saying that before this popped up, I didn't talk about sex or sexuality all that much. Now, it's like a complete 360 for me. And, honestly, that 360 is helping me to look at the H from a realistic, honest, and relaxed perspective. While my mind has firmly grasped the reality that it's a skin condition, my heart is still pretty wounded, and in all honesty, a little afraid about finding love in the future. So, penis, vagina, blister, disclosure. Whew, that's a lot off my chest. Now, I'm going to go do some research on the orgasm, because that one can still be rather elusive at times.

Going through the same thing, and I wouldn't worry about it. As long as you are taking the medication during an OB, you'll be fine. Plus, ocular herpes is pretty noticeable and an optometrist would be trained to spot it. Relax, you're letting the Herpmeister stress you out even further.