HerryTheHerp

Not long ago there was a group that was created as an experiment. Tens of thousands of people visited the group/page every week, and less than 150 signed up/liked the page. Page is still open under "Genital Herpes." 1) It's hard to get people to talk about this condition. Even though it's more common than diabetes or heart disease, it's got a stigma attached because of how we got it. Which means... 2) Herpes now has the stigma having HIV or being gay did in the 80's. It will change, but the way FB goes these days, very few people want to take that risk of being outed right now and having that put out there to potentially millions of people. It's sad but true. The irony is that if that happened, it's likely the backlash from the 60 million + HSV2 positive community in the US would bring the stigma out of the shadows. 3) When people do want to talk, they prefer being anonymous right now. Honestly, forums like this make that possible. That anonymous persona allows for open, true, genuine conversation without having to say "Hi, My name's Bob Jones, I live at 123 Mockingbird Lane, I like dogs, taking pictures of what I eat for dinner, went to Disney with my family, and oh yeah, I have blisters on my penis." It also allows me to say things like "Victoria is the hottest babe on H Opportunity forum!" without having to worry about her boyfriend finding me and kicking my butt all the way to Toledo. ;) Hi Victoria! Just checking to see if you're reading the boards sweetie! :) There are some local meetup groups around the country, in virtually every large community. They meet in secret, but do it openly. Where I'm from there is a group, they screen very carefully, and they meet at local bars, clubs, restaurants, theaters, museums, you name it and they always do it under an assumed group name that has nothing to do with herpes. You might want to do a Google search, and if that turns up nothing, contact the local STD clinic or Planned Parenthood. These groups are a great way to meet people in person, pick up some coping skills, and most importantly, feel normal. I haven't been yet, but I have heard that the herpsie derpsies rarely come up in conversation, and hey, we all need to take a night or two off from thinking about it.

If a train leaves from Boston going 85 mph at 2:30pm, and a plane leaves from Dallas at 3:00pm going 345 mph, will they be in Cleveland or or Chicago first before the passengers on either realize that 1/6th of the people on board have HSV2? What are the medical/DNA differences between HSV1 & 2. Why is it possible to vaccinate against chicken pox and shingles, but not either of these two members of the herpes family? What are the known barriers to creating an effective HSV1 & 2 vaccine? Why aren't HSV1 and 2 included in the standard STD kit? What are effective preventative measures serodiscordant couples can take to prevent transmission? Does having an establishes HSV1 infection help control an acquired HSV2 infection better? Why do both HSV1 and HSV2 infections gradually reduce in severity/frequency over time. Is there a way to speed up the process?

Ok. Well, then the only thing left to do now is to level with your wife. She may not be physically affected, but she is definitely affected. As far as the tests, you really should confirm with a western blot. It's possible for the antibodies for HSV1 to cross react with the HSV2 results. You have a very low positive which doesn't confirm HSV2 infection according to the 2010 guidelines the CDC updated. Even if the woman you had the affair with did have both, it doesn't mean you do, so get it confirmed with the WB so you know for sure. I'm surprised you doctor didn't suggest that. As far as her and her boyfriend, I wouldn't worry about their relationship. You have your own relationship to patch up and mend. Focus on that.

Hi Tiara, Sorry for your losses. That's definitely a lot to have placed on your emotional plate at one time. Take some time for you to process it all, but don't try and process it all at once. Yes, stress can trigger an OB, and it's possible that you've had it for a long while and just never known. Especially if it is HSV1 genital which rarely shows symptoms and is much milder than HSV2 down there. HSV1 is very common, and is not considered a sexually transmitted disease. By college, between 60-70% of Americans have it. Most acquired it during either childhood or one of those make-out sessions in HS. It happens, and doesn't mean your ex cheated. It just means he had it, gave you oral, and didn't realize he could pass that along to you down there. In fact, most people don't know that reality and it's not covered in most sex ed classes. So, go see a doctor if you need to. Relax, and don't stress yourself out over things you can't control and can't find solid answers for.

Oldest child, Type A, recovering perfectionists are not immune to herpes. I know. I see one every time I looked at my blistering winky in the mirror ;) It's a hard way for us to learn that none of us are perfect. It definitely doesn't sound like you need to cut off contact. Instead of picking out China patterns, go and pick out ice cream flavors, talk, and get to know each other. You never know. Sounds like he's going through exactly what you are right now, and as strange as it seems, it will reveal everything about his personality that will tell you whether there's real long-term potential and common interests, goals, values, and dreams there or not. Best of luck!

Hi Ra, Are you sure you're HSV1 or HSV2 positive? Get that confirmed by getting a blood test and getting it typed. It can take up to 6 months to get a 100% accurate answer (but 3 months is usually pretty accurate). Knowing what you're dealing with will help you move forward. If you are still in touch with the person you had the affair with, ask her to get tested/typed. That will at least give you an immediate insight into what's going on. You also owe it to yourself and your wife to get a full STD workup. Second, People make mistakes. You made a big one, and you know that. The best way to overcome it is with honesty. That's the only option that will help relieve your guilt and help get you and your spouse on the path towards forgiveness and healing. It's the only option that's fair for the woman you love. While these seem like bad options, they're the right ones and the only ones that will provide you with the closure you need to this chapter in your life and the opening of the next.

Hey Mikey, Well, no two of us are the same, and part of the problem with herpes is that it presents itself in different ways for all of us. Some get blisters, some get bumps, some get a little rash, while others get a random combination or nothing at all. That's one of the reasons that doctors have such a tough time making a visual confirmation. It took me 3 visits before something finally presented itself where my doctor could say "Oh, Geez, you were right!" But, what you're describing sounds like 1 part herpes, 10 parts something else. However, I'm not so sure your herper has found his way to your Mr. Happy. Sounds to me like you might have foliculitis going on down there because that causes small pimples that don't hurt, blister, or burn. Not a doctor, but anecdotally I can suggest the following... I get the hot tingly, electric shock feeling, too. That's usually the prodome letting you know what's going on. Mine come all over the body, and rarely, rarely, where the outbreak is going to make an appearance. Given the length of time that you've been dealing with the aching pain, I'd say that's more likely something like prostatis (usually caused by bacteria) or a pinched nerve. It's definitely not herpes related because it wouldn't linger that long. Ask a urologist to do an inspection of the plumbing for you. If your testicles are red, I'd ask him what he thinks. You didn't mention if you'd had a full STD workup, and if you haven't, I'd recommend it because Chlamydia and Gonorrhea can cause the winky to ache from within, with or without any type of discharge or other symptoms. The issue on your skin/face/neck sounds like Seborrheic Dermatitis from your description. Confirm that with a dermatologist, but it's a common skin condition that weather, stress, hormones, and other medical conditions can bring out. It happens to me and has nothing to do with herpes; it's common in wintertime, feels like a sunburn, causes flaky, oily, skin. If you don't want to go see a dermatologist, get some Head and Shoulders or another shampoo with salicylic acid in it and start using that. If it is, it'll clear up. If it doesn't, go see a dermatologist. Whatever you do, get a full workup and blood tests. Might tell you if there's an underlying condition/imbalance that needs to be addressed. Then remember to stay off Google. Google is one step above the witch doctor and you'll just stress yourself out trying to figure out what's going on.

Dolly, you're fortunate and I'm a bit envious. My "one time, first date" didn't end the way yours did. He sounds like a good guy, and it's quite possible that he didn't know and is in just as much shock and confusion as you are. Yeah, it can really piss you off when you look at that box of condoms and say "WTF?" Same boat. That alone is enough to make a little angry. Unfortunately, most of us don't realize the Trojan man is about as effective at stopping herpes as Kevin Costner is at making a decent movie. It only happens about half the time. Take it a day at a time. Your mood will fluctuate for a while with this, and that's normal. I have good days, great days, and days when the sun just won't rise. We all do when we first find out and there's nothing wrong with taking some time for you to come to terms with this and figure out what triggers each mood. When you know those triggers, you know what you have to do to stay positive and keep looking ahead. As far as the long term potential, well, who knows. If you ask me it's way too early to start picking out China patterns and baby names, but it's never too early to get to know each other and see where this might lead. Who knows? It might be the love of your life. It might be a short fling that changes your life? You'll never know unless you take the chance. Just make sure to strike a balance between "Me time" and "We time."

Whatever you do, stay out of Yahoo forums. The people commenting in there have IQ's low enough that I actually question their ability to make toast or go out in public unsupervised. MedHelp has an expert forum that isn't bad. There are a couple of decent doctors in there where I think for $15-20 you can ask questions and get some answers. Might not be a bad idea to do some research, come up with some questions, then see what they suggest. Might also want to check through the forum to see if someone else has already asked the same questions and save yourself the cash if they have.

Keep us posted. I'm curious to know how it works. If you show the same results as your friend, I say Viva la Oliva!

I couldn't tell you off hand, but that 1000mg a day sure sounds like an outbreak prescription, not a suppressive dose. I know with Aciclovir they usually recommend 800mg (rarely 1000mg like yours), and with Famicclovir/famvir they recommend 500mg. As far as how long it takes to make a real difference on the less shedding? Well, there's a lot of factors that go into that beyond just the meds. Your overall health, your body's reaction to the medication, how active the virus normally is, etc. being among them. I have looked and looked, and haven't found a specific study to pinpoint a time frame. You might want to call the manufacturer and ask if they've done any studies. Also, if no one here can answer your question, consider contacting Terri Warren at the Westover Heights Clinic. Her office might have some more information on it, and she's pretty much America's resident herpes expert.

Victoria, we love reading your posts. You have an amazing ability to be blunt and straightforward. You're like the Dolly Parton of the group. You just say it like it is, short and sweet, and straight to the point. ;)

It is wonderful to see a great post like this! There are just so many points I agree with, empathize with, and can relate to that I don't know where to start. In fact, most of the folks in the forum are probably thinking the same thing. And, it's great to see another novel writer so I don't feel so long winded! Welcome to the group!

Speaking of vaccines, let's also point out that Dr. Fraser who created the Gardasil HPV vaccine has a Herpes vaccine going into phase ii right now. Let's hope he hits another home run! I honestly think he's going for Jonas Salk status and wouldn't be hyping it if there wasn't something very positive about the results they've seen in the lab. He's already got a great reputation and wouldn't want to jeopardize that with a vaccine that wasn't very promising. Yeah, stick to this forum for facts and reality. The reality is that many of us here know more about herpes than most of the doctors and trained professionals. Certainly more than the sex ed teachers.

HSV1 and HSV2 are slippery li'l buggers. You can catch them the first time you're exposed, years later, or even never. There are couples who have never shared this great gift, never used condoms, had lots of oral, and just win the lottery each and every time. I met one woman who got it from her husband after 30 years of marriage, kids, the whole shebang. And, like everyone else, she didn't even realize it was possible to have genital HSV1 until it happened. Chalk that up to a major oversight by American sex ed teachers. We all want herpes to play by the rules. The problem is there are no rules. The li'l punk likes to play dirty. He even cheats at Monopoly. That's why you've got to play dirty with it and show it who's the boss. Speaking of which, I hear even Alyssa Milano has it down there. It most likely won't be a regular companion. HSV1 has a pretty solid reputation as a quiet roommate down below. Not always the case, but most often. And, when it does come out to play, it's much milder than 2 ever is.

Venomous Kitten? Well, I guess that's better than poisonous pussy, huh? You know, with all the great screen names everyone's coming up with it's starting to sound like a biker gang in here. "Hi, I'm Stinging Snatch." "Oh, hi. I'm Blistery Bollocks." Yeah, we're gonna be cooler than the Hells Angels. We'll even have patches. Welcome to Herpes! It can show up immediately, it can show up years later, it can never show up. It's a nasty li'l bugger because of that. Is it possible you've had it for years? Oh, yes, and it's quite common. In fact, there are quite a few people in this forum who had it show up for the first time years after they acquired it. Only a handful of us showed symptoms immediately. You have genital HSV1, and that's a lot less active than genital HSV2. It settles down considerably when it's not in it's normal environment, and genital HSV1 infections are on the rise. It's not surprising as about 70% of the US has it in their mouths, and well, about 100% of the US likes to have oral sex. Guess we all should have paid more attention to our mothers who were constantly warning us about what we put in our mouths throughout our childhoods. So, if you and your ex, or you and your current boyfriend had oral sex and they had HSV1 and you didn't, well, that's how you got it. Not as big a mystery as you think. Of course, you may have gotten it even before you met your husband, but you didn't say anything about that so I'm going to assume you were wearing Lilly white on your wedding day and went into the bridal chamber saying "please be gentle, I've never done this before.";) It's also possible your boyfriend has HSV1 and doesn't know it, or doesn't remember. I haven't had a cold sore in 20 years. But, simply statistically speaking, there's a really good chance he already has it and just isn't aware. I wouldn't be scared of anything. Like I said, since it's HSV1 (I'm assuming your diagnosis included a type testing to confirm that), and you haven't seen it before, well, it's a safe bet to say it's not going to cause you too many problems. I also wouldn't stress over finding answers. Don't, don't, don't get accusatory with your boyfriend. This thing is a relationship wedge, and it's not that big of a deal, especially HSV1. My advice: don't make it a big deal, and it won't be one.

Nicely done. Very good post. It's something your friends needed to hear and it's a huge step from being patient to being educator. :) In the US in 2013, about 776k contracted Herpes. About 1/2 that contracted Chlamydia. I think I saw somewhere around 330k. As far as HPV, almost every American who has ever had sex will end up with that one by the time they die.

Take a breath. Breathe in, breathe out. In, and out. Relax for a second. I'm going to let you know that yes, LP, LS, and the herper all the look very similar. I know because my doc thought the same thing at first, but there are unique differences, and again, if you've got blisters, bumps, bruises, whatever, get them swabbed right after they appear. As far as LP and LS not being treatable or curable, you're wrong. LP is a very common condition and it generally resolves itself in time. It's caused by everything from allergies to medications and lifestyle. As you remove the cause, the body repairs itself, the LP just disappears. It can take time, but it does go away. LS requires a little more TLC, but it can be treated, and if scars do develop, they can be removed. You know, I might develop cancer from smoking for so many years; I might not. I'm not going to give myself a heart attack worrying about it. I have LP in my mouth because I smoked like a chimney. So does my dentist and he lives an extremely healthy lifestyle. LP is a fickle condition and comes and goes as it pleases. Lots of people have it. Now, I can't remember if you've had a blood test for herpes. If you haven't had an HSV1 and HSV2 test, now would be a good time to go for it. Granted, it can take up to 6 months for antibodies to show, but you're at the 12 week doorstep and that's a fairly accurate time for the test to be accurate. I'm also going to tell you what everyone who knows me has told me for years: GET OFF GOOGLE! Especially if you are prone to anxiety, hypochondria, or watching Justin Bieber videos. Google is evil. For example, I can Google "HIV rash" right now and pull up 300,000 images of what people claim is an "HIV rash." Many of them will be on some site with an MD by the name of the person posting it. Most of them are wrong. What's the problem? Well, I can go through those 300,000 photos and I guarantee you I can find at least 10,000 that I can match to some point on my body at any given time of my life. I can walk down the street right now and find 1,000 people that have HIV just by looking at them. Statistically, I might be right twice. Vegas offers better odds, so don't do it. Our bodies are fickle. Our bodies systems are connected. Symptoms from one illness to another can be very similar or even identical. One thing can trigger another like a pinball machine, but that doesn't mean you can connect it easily to this illness, that malady, this problem, etc. Your misery is not a mystery and you're not cursed. Your misery is being caused your hatred of your ex, your Googling of symptoms, and your insistence on stressing yourself out over finding out what's wrong without looking at the problems logically. All of those things can manifest themselves in physical maladies. Your hormones are going wild, this is throwing your immune system out of whack, and you've got to break the cycle. Concerned about HIV, herpes, etc.? Skin examination isn't going to confirm it....blood tests will. Concerned about LS/LP...biopsy. Do those things. In the interim, go for a walk. Watch a movie. Hang out with friends. Enjoy life. I will give you 99.9% odds the symptoms will start to go away on their own.

From Tampa to Toledo and Seattle to Sarasota there are a few men and women who are serving as beacons in the storm that is the herpes epidemic. That's right ladies and gentlemen, there are several folks on this forum who are taking a stand against the stigma, the hurt, and the pain that is the herpes diagnosis. While we're nursing our blisters and licking our wounds both physical and emotional, they're standing out there on the front lines waving the banners and helping to pick up the soldiers who fall as the insults, the painful memories, and the moments of self-doubt drag them down. So, who are these heroes? Who are these brave souls who are facing this challenge with steadfast courage and the determination to stand strong until the last bugle call resonates through the air? You know these heroes better than anyone else in your life. If you go find a mirror then stare deeply into the eyes of the person you see staring back at you then you'll see one of them staring right back at you, waving that banner high and beckoning you to let him/her lead you through the storm to victory.

Hi Greeneyes, and welcome. You'll find nothing but love, support, and encouragement here. Ok, maybe a gentle ribbing or joke or two, but you're in good company. We've all gone through phases. Some of the people on the forum have so many notches on their bedpost that you'd think they slept with an angry beaver or a chainsaw under their pillow. Others, just one or two. It doesn't matter, we're all here now and no one is going to judge you for your past. After all, we're all here because of our pasts. Your ex is a bastard. Sorry, but he's the kind of guy that gives us all a bad rep. There's a cardinal rule for those of us who know: Disclose then disrobe. It's a simple rule. Men and Women of honor live by that one rule. As far as I'm concerned, those of us who know are fortunate because we can help protect those we love, and it'll help us find someone who will truly stick with us through thick and thin. If they won't put up with herpes, they won't put up with cancer, bone disease, funny creaking noises our bodies make in the middle of the night as we age. Things like that. My ex-fling denied, denied, denied. But her eyes betrayed her. It's always in the eyes that you can tell if someone is telling the truth. That's a story a lot of us can relate to just like you. On the bright side, you're a free woman and won't end up 20 years down the road looking back on your life knowing you spent it with a lying, cheating, two timing, no good, yeah, you get the picture. I'd get in touch with his ex-girlfriend. If only because 80% of people who have this never show symptoms, and if she unknowingly gave it to someone she truly loved, well, that could have long-lasting ramifications in her life that she doesn't deserve. There's always the possibility she doesn't have it, but it's best she take steps to find out. Single with herpes isn't so bad. It could be worse. You could be married with a 6' tall a-hole. That's a real romance killer.

Yes, I'll have a steak, mashed taters, a coke, and oh yeah, a side of herpes with my order, please. Name the place, pick a date, I'm in. ;)

Hey You! Yeah, you. The person reading this. That's right, the one who's anonymously reading this post from the safety of your home computer. Yeah, you know who you are. You're sitting there reading through this forum gleaning information from others who are dealing with the same things you are. Maybe you're newly diagnosed. Maybe you've known for 20 years and are finally reaching out for help. Heck, maybe you've met the person of your dreams and you're actively trying to understand what he/she's dealing with and trying to find ways to support them. Well, stop being wallflowers. Every day thousands of people come on here and read through the postings. Why is that? It's because this is the best, most open, most honest, most sincere herpes specific forum on the internet. This place is like Cheers and you can choose to be Sam, Norman, Cliff, or Frasier because this is the one place in the world right now where you can come to feel completely relaxed and safe discussing whatever you want to. There's no beer, no pool table, and no Boston accents (Go Yankees!) but the conversations are definitely interesting and full of information. Most importantly, you have something to add to the conversation. You have your own experience, your own insights, your own compassionate words of wisdom, strength, and courage to share. And, there are people out there who need to hear you speak and listen to everything you say. There are people out there that want to speak with you to guide you, and be guided by you. Currently there are 50-60 million Americans who live with genital herpes, and between 70-80% has the more socially acceptable HSV1. Globally, there are over 540 million living with HSV2, and an untold number with HSV1. You Canadians, Aussie's, Kiwi's, and Brits reading this are welcome to join in the discussion, just remember we stopped speaking the Queen's a long time ago and will rebuff words like colour, flavour, and for goodness sake, crisps are chips, and chips are French fries. There are lots of people who want to hear what you have to say. They want to know they're not alone in their feelings, their emotions, their ways of coping and moving ahead with our virally enhanced lives. Seriously, it's such a big market I'm surprised Apple hasn't introduced the iHerp for all of us to get connected through. I joined a little over a month ago. It's been the best decision I could have made. So, here's my dog dare to everyone reading this. 1. Create an account. 2. Write your story up and share it. 3. Ask your questions, and remember that nothing is out of bounds, off limits, or taboo. We're all adults, and almost all of us have herpes because we did the mattress mambo with someone who gifted us with it. And the double dog dare.... 4. Post a photo to your profile. Put a face to a name. You are a beautiful person, and this little virus doesn't change that. Stand up to it by showing off your smile, by showing others just how deep a blue your eyes are, and how the dimples on your cheeks highlight an inner light that is flickering in the winds of change you're going through. Do it not for everyone who might see your photo, but do it for yourself so that you will begin to regain the confidence that's buried inside you right now. If you're worried about "being outed" by doing this, consider this fact; 99.9% of the people coming to this forum are dealing with exactly the same things you are. The same feelings. The same emotions. The same pain and guilt. And, not a single one of us would ever do that to another person; even on the extremely remote chance we saw a face we knew. The secret in your eyes that we see will still be a secret to the world beyond this forum, and if we did know you, you can rest assured we'd reach out to you beyond the walls of this forum. And, the triple dog dare. 5. JustSmile really wants to see someone dancing around in blue war paint and a kilt. We're hoping it's a phase she's going through, but we're not sure right now. For now, I guarantee you that if you do this and post it to YouTube, she will be your friend for life.

And you just got hired as copy editor! My gut hurts right now. I can't stop laughing. Now, where's my wrench. I need to go break something so I can fix it and then feel manly again.

Oh, I remember those chocolate coins, too. Yummy. I still remember getting Christmas stockings full of 'em.

Alright, that's it. I'm starting my own line of medicinal products for men with herpes. We don't want to smell "purdy." We want to smell manly. I shall call my line something like Manpe's or Himpes. I'm mixing that stuff with motor oil, essence of oak, barbecue sauce, sea spray, bacon grease, whatever I can get my hands on. It's bad enough I have to walk around feeling feminine because I have a virus with the title "her" in it, but I'll be damned if I'm going to walk around smelling like something out of a Victoria Secrets catalog for the rest of my life. I'm drawing a line here that shall not be crossed and I'm doing it in the name of all the other men on here! Now, where's JustSmile because I need my kilt and my make-up!