PrimordialOoze

Hi Kiambu, One side lymph node pain? Could be some other cold s/infection since you have bad tonsils. Are you on antibiotics? I'm sure that's what it is.... feel better! X~ me

Ashley - hugs... the l-lysine is on it's way. I started the antivirals today. So it's heading into night time here. Trying to stay positive. But the weird sensations are slowly making themselves known and messing with my head. I think worst thought is - no one will ever love me - and that makes my heart cry. X ~ me

Thanks!!!! Thanks for that. I needed it. So, I guess this is my primary too. Waah! OK I'll ease myself into this. Tonight, will try 20 minutes and go from there. Snap - my s&m days are over hahaha!

So, My next question. After my OB (which I think is still not over), but the lesions etc have healed, When can I go back to exercising? I have the aching, tingling, numb, burning feeling in my privates. I also have a band of on-fire feeling across my butt - but nothing going on there - just the sensation. Also, my complaint last night of the shooting, horrid pain, burning etc etc up and down my leg. I don't do anything vigorous - about 30 to 45 minutes of moderate exercise on the elliptical. Do you think there could be too much friction if I do that? I don't want another OB. Please advise! I think exercising again would cheer me up. As I have said, the docs here are frigging nonchalant. So, their response is always - it's a skin condition, do whatevs! Thanks! X ~ me

Dancer - Much love to you. The people who know us the best will hurt us the most. I agree with fitgirl, her reactions and behavior are out of your control. You are such a positive person here. Seriously you have helped me so much in such a short time. Even though you are hurting you still get on this forum and put yourself out there to help people in need and that is a true HERO. So, let her be mad and hurtful, it has nothing to do with you. It is her problem for feeling all this negativity and ugliness. She has to get over herself and experience real life. Rereading this, I feel like I sound super harsh, but I am going to let this be because it is not your fault. You are beating yourself up for something that you have no control over. Love and X ~me Edited: Also you mentioned that Dad is the good one. So at some point she has decided to identify with her dad and paint you as the other/bad one. This is pretty typical and even at my kids young age (they are both under 10), I see this idea forming. I'll see if I can find some articles for you to read to understand this psychology and maybe it will give you some tools to use when dealing with her. Easier said than done, right? X~ me

Herry - now, that's what I call surreal! I would totally watch "Day in the life of HerryThe Herp". It's day time here ... things look up when the sun is up. X ~ Me

Dear Silverlinings, I feel you babes. The pain is the worst! Lots of love to you. Also, all the above suggestions are solid. Try them out and you will find something that works for you. For diaper rash cream - see if you can get either Desitin rapid relief (it's creamier so, easier to spread) or Balmex (this is usually harder to spread). It's good that you have work to distract you. Neem oil is a big thing where I am (in India) and it worked for me. I believe neem cream is available online. you could also try it out. We are all here for you. X ~ me

Darlings - What's the dose for L-Lysine? I just found it online. Is it 1,000 mg per day? I am able to fine 500 mg. Do I take one twice a day? Or should I take 2 once a day? Does it matter? Phew! Thanks. X~ me

Ashley - when will it stop? I am beside myself with all this. I can't walk or sit. when I lie down, everything goes numb! I told my doc, that my genitals are burning up again and he again said without sores he won't give me anything. Forget about my doctor, I have decided to go on 400mg twice a day of aciclovir. Thank goodness I can get this without a prescription here. So far, I can't find L-Lysine. Will shift my search online. Guys Thanks so very much for being here for me. It's been such a roller coaster and I am so very grateful for all of you on here. MUCH LOVE to all of you. Let's get through this together one friggin OB at a time. x ~ me

I learn from the best! PS he texted me last night. We had a good conversation. OK fine! I texted him@!! I can't lie. It's a thing with me. Anyway sent a one symbol text. Yes one symbol. And he started texting me back. But I was is pain and crying with my latest pain syptoms. But it's a good sign. I hope he sees h for what it is and be confident that I will do everything in my power to keep him safe. I really like him .... will stop here, else you will read something weird because I go to mush when it comes to him. L-lysine plz be available in my little town ..... X~me

Thanks guys. Also now my foot feels numb. Is this normal? Judith thank you for your message. It's hard by where I am. I am ever thankful for this site. I believe it saved my sanity. And i can tell no one X Dancer I will try to find l-lysine today. I hope it works the antivirals have some weird effects.or maybe its my little friend? I had a sleepless night - again. Thank you for the message of support!!! X ~ me

I can't take it. Oh gosh it hurts. The doc says that unless there are sores that I don't need any more antivirals. Also aciclovir/zovirax made me sick, with rashes. And joint pain etc.. I was on them for only 7 days. The sores cleared up and the doc said no more for now. Should I wait for sores to develop again or should I go to him now. I feel so worn out and put down. I wish I had someone close by to talk to. It's getting hard to deal with this myself. I don't know if I can go through this. But I don't have a choice, do I? I just want this to be over quick.

So I am having shooting pains, burning and tingling up and down my leg and butt. What is this? Oh gosh! I just want this over. I don't want to go through this any more. What does this mean? The docs here aren't helping me. they just don't want to hear from me. They keep saying it's just a skin infection. It hurts! It stings! I want to know what to do. Does it mean? Does it mean I am going to have another ob? Should I ignore it? Help! At what point is it an OB?

Herry, just read your other posts. Babes, head high. You are such a positive guy and such a great influence to everyone here, and I've been on here what? 3 days max. It hurts to see you in pain. x ~ me

Dear Pepps, There is no old life or new life, life is right now. We take whatever fruit life throws at us, and do our damnedest to chop that friggin thing with a samurai sword. The way I look at it is that the more OB's the better my body is getting at fighting. So imagine your antibodies getting ready to friggin' chop those lil' (h) buggers to smithereens. You are strong! You can run 4 miles! I can't manage 100 mtrs. Just be strong for a little longer. This too shall pass, so stressing will do nothing to time. Much love x ~ me

My heart goes out to you. But my doctors here too were surprised that I was so upset about the diagnosis. They said it is just a skin infection. I said "JUST"? It's a life sentence. So, I think once the reality sinks in and we calm down, everything seems more copesthetic. No I'm not saying you'll break out into song and dance, but, given time, you can imagine life with it, and soon, you will be successfully living life with it. That's what I am hoping for. Right now, down in the dumps as well, but trying to keep my positive side going. Lotsa love x ~ me

Hold you head up high! I can't believe he had the nerve to tell his whole family - that really is an assh*ole move. You dodged a bullet with that one. Can you imagine if it were something "actually" serious? I am not knocking on the physical and emotional roller coaster of (h) but it's not life threatening like some things out there. Do you think you could trust him to be responsible and be a stand-up guy then? He is trying to friend you to make himself feel better. If I were you, I would block all contact and carry on with my life. Go out! Have a blast! Go to the movies. And you know what? Take this time to get comfortable with yourself. So what if you watch a movie by yourself? So what if you go out to dinner by yourself? It takes a lot of strength to be still with yourself and your thoughts. Alternately, Throw a party with some close friends and keep it going. Someone like your ex isn't worth your time or effort. You are too precious a person to be bruised by a brute like him. x ~ me

Dancer. I am so sorry you are having these things going on. I have 2 girls and they are very young. So, I have that to look forward to. Well, my husband was a mamas boy and it was challenging to say the least - ooooo I could tell you "stories". The worst you can do right now is show her that her behavior and attitude towards you is bothering you. Ask me, I was once a daughter just like her. And let me tell you, when my mom ignored my temper tantrums and silently said "I love you even though you are so mad at me", it would piss me off more. But you know what? It worked. My mom set her limits with me and slowly but surely I straightened out. We still have our moments but we also respect each other. So, even though your daughter is mad at you, shrug it off. The (h) is playing wing-man for her too and she doesn't even know it. Much love ~ me

So Guys, I did it. I sent him a wall of text explaining my blurtingness, my wanting-ness of a relationship based on trust and respect and saying I was sorry to blurt it out. Also, that I just didnt think there would ever be a good time without feelings of betrayal etc. and I sent him the handout. Then I said I want to get to know you and you to know me (please say YES! no I did not type that). And said "txt me when you are ready. I'm here." PEOPLE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHY do I get corney and weird when I write to him. Boy I SHINED! So no more txting him till he txts me. I hope I am strong enough. Thank yous guys for your support .... X ~ me

Softlyspoken - I read that in a whisper ... X

I used to have a bikini wax every month. Now the very thought terrifies me!

Pretty surreal. When my kids were babies, I had no support where I lived in the US of A. So, my mom from India would "baby-sit" via skype as I did important things like: -Change after 3 days of being in the same clothes -Take a shower!!! -Attempt to eat a meal So, Hooray Technology!

Herry, hahaha! thanks! WCS OMG! I am so confused. So after my post here, I deleted him off of my contacts so that getting in touch with him would require some work. Also, I didn't want to have a case of foot - in- mouth because my judgement and self control seem to be off kilter. About an hour later (after me freaking out and crying and deciding my love life is over etcetc), he texted me and said "Are you going to die?" That's a good question I thought. I told him that I had calmed down and had done some research. Then he asked me about what it means to me both physically and sexually to have the H and what it would mean if I did have a partner. What safe sex would mean. I shared a lot of things from this website and other research. Then I told him that I would send him some more information today. then I said my phone batteries are dying (which they were) and talk to you tomorrow. So at this point the jury is out. I am glad he is willing to A. get tested himself and B. keep an open dialogue. I am so glad I have this forum. And Herry you are right. I am an extremely honest person and I'd rather be rejected right off the bat than go on and on and get emotionally involved and then have the axe fall on me. The bottom line is I have fallen for this guy pretty hard. We are a perfect match (really!). I am attracted to him physically, intellectually and emotionally. The trifecta which has never been achieved. So, for me it feels like "this is it". I shall take a deep breath and not keep doing what I do best .... incessantly texting him. Which before this was OK but now I need to give him space to think and make a decision. I shall send him the handout a little later and let's see where it goes. Thanks a lot guys. sorry for the wall of text. x ~ me

YES! "Peanut-butter spoon" is a thing in my house. Yes we all eat spoons full of peanut-butter.

Ugh! I am so mad at myself but I'm going to give myself a break. Last night I was online, chatting with the guy who is interested in me. I was crying as we texted back and forth about nothing. I was crying and he had no idea what was going on. I mean, at all. And I watched myself, as I typed it out "I have herpes" blah blah blah and then had another out of body experience as I HIT SEND! ARGH! So stupid stupid stupid. So, I guess I lost him. But he said I have "inspired" him to get fully tested - so that's good. right? Anyways, trying real hard not to text him tonight AND trying to be loving and understanding towards my stupid self. Why? Why? (Laugh, cry, laugh cry) Just a few minutes ago, I texted him again. SOMEONE STOP ME!