smilesfordani

Great post!! :) So happy for you. Keep us updated!

I only had this with my initial OB, but it was pretty severe leg nerve pain, I couldn't squeeze my thigh without screaming in pain. It only happened once for me, but I do know it can be common during OB's with some individuals. Stay positive! A little leg pain isn't that big of a deal. if its anything like mine it'll decrease and disappear within a week.

I LOVE this post! So happy for you!! I'm in a long term relationship now with my boyfriend that I met the "traditional way" I guess haha. But it is so refreshing to see that people are able to put the fact they're positive out there and not get judged by the ignorance that provokes the stigma around H! :) Especially in a non std related dating website. I'm so excited to see this, and if things ever go south with the bf (I pray to god they don't because he's my knight in shining armor!) this is definitely something to consider. Thank you for posting this!

Haven't had any problems with headaches and I've been on acyclovir since July of last year, no outbreaks since but did have one scare. :/ Maybe it's not tied to it, especially since it's episodic like you said. I do also take a multivitamin, Lysine tablets and olive leaf extract so I don't know if the immune system boost due to those counteract any type of side effect from acyclovir.

I've actually knicked myself several times down there and sometimes I'll get a bump due to it and I'll freak out that it's an outbreak for like 5 days and take 3x of my suppresives instead of two....and then the bump doesn't really leave for like 2+ weeks and turns out it was what it was: a bump. Hahah. I feel so paranoid all the time, but more often than not, if you haven't had an outbreak there, chances are you won't get one, especially due to a little cut. :)

JESUS. I've been away so long and never saw all these comments. I almost started crying! :)!!! Thank you everybody! C and I are still together, 5 months strong! He graduated in December but we're working it out long distance. He's coming back again to see me for valentines in 2 weeks. So excited. ^_^ He's seriously been an angel in my life. I couldn't be happier with anybody else.

I was watching VH1 in my living room with friends the other day and it was one of those dumbass specials with comedian commentary. Of COURSE there was an STD section. Jesus. One of the most awkward things I had to stand this school year! I was so glad one of my friends asked to change the channel cause she was getting uncomfortable too. I can't stand people making fun of these conditions, I hate the association of "herpes" with "ew" or "gross." Would you call someone with acne "gross"? Only if you're an asshole. So that's what people sound to me when they call H "gross"....it's a skin condition that is rarely transmittable with medicine and precaution. PERIOD. BTW Kath! I'm glad to see you're active!!!! If you get a chance message me back to chat more!

Hey! I think it's great that you're putting yourself out there. I'm 21, have had HSV2 for 9 months now and have been with my current boyfriend for almost 5 months (he's negative) and we've been intimate for a little less than 3. I think it's definitely critical that you feel comfortable and at ease with the person you tell. You might not want to be already in love with them, since if rejection does happen, it won't hurt your spirit too much. My story: I was intimate with C about 6 months before I got HSV and after I got it I thought my chances at pursuing anything with C in the future were completely shot. He'd only been intimate with a couple of girls and was such a good looking and great guy I thought he would never risk something like that for any girl. After we started officially dating again I waited about a month to tell him the truth because I wanted to make sure he had serious intentions with me and that he liked me beyond all my flaws to show him this pretty fat one. Even if I felt super comfortable with C, I stilllll felt so nervous and hesitant (i had to put in my calendar to not chicken out!! lol) but he was so understanding! He was a little taken aback at first but I explained the infection to him in detail, the chances of him getting it, the precautions we could take if we decided to be intimate. He was able to take in the information and see beyond his harmless disease to realize that it was still the same girl he was falling for. Needless to say we're still together. My advice: Be sincere about everything, but watch his character to make sure the guy you're planning to tell is WORTH it to tell. If you don't think you'll have a shot at acceptance; why bother putting yourself through rejection? If he's able to put up with all your other flaws, this should just be one more he needs to deal with if he's up for it. I REALLY don't think you should put kissing out of the question! 1st, it would be extremely, EXTREMELY rare if your genital H-2 all of a sudden traveled up to your lips. Really. I have never read a cited case of that happening. One person in one forum in one threat, out of ALL the websites I have seen, reported it happening in other parts of his body, but he was taking some WEIRD approach by taking medication that would make the virus come to the surface in the form of outbreaks so he could "kill it" with some other medication. The hell, right? So as long as your not doing that, I think you're good. Even if H-2 HAD picked your mouth as a host region, the chances of transmission are very small. The chances of transmission to another person's MOUTH are even TINIER because that's not generally the region where the virus can exist, so it would already be rare for your to have it there, much more to transmit it to someone else in that region. If you do decide to be intimate with someone I would definitely go on acyclovir or valtrex. they say it cuts your chances by 50 percent but if you avoid sex around any time you feel any kind of padrome symptom the chances are much less especially if you were a condom. So you're looking at <1% chance in a year to transmit watching your symptoms, taking medicine, and wearing protection. That's pretty darn good. I also take L-lysine (1500 mg), olive leaf extract, and vitamin C gummies (as well as multivitamin) to lower my chances even more of an outbreak. I've been outbreak free since I started taking medicine and vitamins back in July! And it's my 1st year, where you're supposed to have the most outbreaks of your life. :) C feels a lot safer too knowing that I'm doing all this protect him as well as I can. ^.^ Moral of the story: not all guys are dicks. But you SHOULDN'T be so self conscious about the infection to not even let a guy get anywhere near physical close to you! You don't never go in a car cause there's a tiny chance that you'll die in a crash on the way to the grocey store, right? So why shouldn't you kiss the guy that you like? Even foreplay's fine as long as you're careful!! Take your medicine and your vitamins and the right guy that cares will do his research and understand that 1) it's not a big deal and 2) the chances are small of anything bad happening and you're taking charge of the situation so that it won't. ;)

GreenEyes do you have any of his contact info? Even an e-mail? I haven't tried online dating, but I feel like I did, after a month of talking and a date, if a guy hadn't given me his phone number or e-mail wouldn't be that interested in me anyway (with (h) or not!). My rule of thumb is: If I am CRAZY about a guy, I'll make the first moves, but normally, if a man wants to be with you or see you he will make damn sure he does! It shouldn't take much effort in our end (which sounds lazy...but if we chase then the guys think we're clingy/desperate/crazy/overattached lol) to check and see if the guy has full interest. I feel like if he was only sending you a pm everyday/every other day and then poof...then on to the next one! unless he was a hermit this dude HAS to have had a phone that he could call you from and CHOSE not to do it! ---psht. Not worth your time, imho. NEXT ;)

I disclosed to C last night. (Finally). We've been officially together for a couple of weeks, and unofficially for I don't know how long. You see, I was with him about a year ago, in the 2012 fall semester for a few months before I left to study abroad and then have an internship in another city. Because we knew I was leaving, both getting over long term relationships, and didn't wanna have a "break-up" at the end of the semester, we made the joint decision of not putting a label on us...but when I left I was miserable. I had really been falling for this guy, and although we left in really good terms and knew we were doing this just to make it easier on us, it might has well have been a break-up because it felt every bit as awful. When I studied abroad was when I contracted (h). No, it wasn't from a 1 night stand or sleeping with a lot of dudes. I met someone that I really liked, that liked me even more back, and that I felt comfortable enough to sleep with. At some points we did not use protection but 90% of the time we did. As soon as I slept with L I told myself: this is good. Because now you know you have no chance with C. So get him out of your head! -- I was literally trying to set myself up for failure to get over this amazing man that had become so freaking ALOOF around me in the past couple of months. I thought he was completely over me and that I was the idiot hanging on. Needless to say -- that perspective perpetuated even deeper in me when I had my first OB. Went to the gyno and she did a visual exam and confirmed it. I freaked the fuck out. (Of course she thought I was completely insane because, of course, in most countries (h) is not a big freaking deal. I was the weird crazy lady in this situation.) I thought my chances with C were DONE after this. With any guy whatsoever. I was considering suicide. Why me? HOW? At first it was denial. Then my second OB came soon after I landed in the US, had a swab test to confirm the type of (h) was depressed for a few hours, and as if a guardian angel suddenly touched me on my shoulder I realized: Shit. This could be so much worse and here I am feeling sorry for myself about a skin condition when I'm healthy, alive, driven, and successful. What the hell is wrong with me? The stigma, which was the main thing I was concerned with, was SOCIETY'S problem in the US and not mine. I got my prescription and started on suppressive therapy Fastforward to end of summer. At this point, I'm kinda seeing another guy, but had kept in touch with C, although I was pretty sure he was talking to other girls. Things with T were going well but I was leaving that city to go back to school soon and he was heading back to law school as well. When I got back to school C and I saw each other at one of the bars that both our friends go to and we basically forgot about the world. We were glued to each other the whole night, didn't really talk to anybody else, danced, talked, smiled, laughed. It felt like we'd never left. He dropped me off home with a good night kiss. We were both talking to other people, but we within 2 weeks we had chosen each other instead. It just felt RIGHT with us. Fast forward to last night. We're in the car, heading back to campus from the city from date night. This is the day I had decided on. I had talked to Adrial. I had practiced. I was doing this for the right reasons. I counted the traffic lights and decided that when a certain one turned green I would start. I turned down the music. "Hey...I wanted to talk to you about something" "Okay.." "I really care about you. And this may be one of, if not the best relationship I've been in because you are such an amazing person and we are just good together. And I believe in you, and I believe that this is the start of something that could be really good. And so as good as it is, I also wanted to be 100% honest and transparent with you about a part of me that I don't talk much about, and I trust that you're caring enough to understand." "Okay." "When I was abroad...I was dating this guy. I really cared about him. He was great but...I contracted HSV2 from him." "Oh." "Do you know what that is?" "Umm...I think so?" "It's also known as Herpes Simplex type 2. The chances of passing it for me are 1% or less in a year of regular sex but I still wanna communicate because..." "Right. Because it's still a risk." "Right." "So what is it? Like you get a rash or something? "It's most common form looks like a cold sore, it's the same thing as the cold sore virus" "So it's Herpes type 2?" "Yup." "Oh, yeah. I know exactly what that is. I'm a health studies major babe. I had a class on this stuff." "Well I have it now. And it's not a big deal to me because I know that it's not a health concern and the chances of passing it are very low with the precautions I'm taking. But I wanted to open up a discussion about it and answer any questions or concerns you may have." "Well. Thank you for your honesty. That means a lot. I definitely need some time to take it all in. But it's not like it's a deal breaker." He held my hand. Silence. I started getting nervous. "I don't know what to say right this second but I don't want you to take my silence as a sign that I'm revolted and am planning on a way to break up with you. That's not what's about to happen, you know that right?" He kissed my hand and I started crying. "I just care about you so much and this was so scary for me to bring up because it's not something that I could fix, but if I could fix something about me for you I would." "Hey, it's okay. This is a relationship. Like anything else, this is just something we have to discuss and work on." He asked me a few more questions about the virus. About when/how I got diagnosed. And we opened up a couple discussions about it. I was really nervous till we got my place. He talked to my roomates that were drinking for a little while and I just went in my room and got under the covers, trying not to cry. I knew things were gonna be at least okay when he came in and said "Oh no....now you're gonna be in a bad mood all night about this aren't you? Don't be silly." We talked extensively and I think what really hit home with him was when I showed the strength that I had gained through contracting this. His immediate family has had several hard hits in the past few years such as breast cancer, a car accident that almost made his father lose his memory, one of his brothers attempting suicide, an out of wedlock pregnancy. I told him "I think you and your family out of all people can relate that life sometimes hits you hard. You don't expect this, you can't plan it or prepare of it, but when that shitty group of cards is handed to you, it is still YOUR choice to fold or not. And I'll be damned if I let something this small get in the way of my happiness, my success, my relationships, or finding love. I refuse to let it define me or affect me in that sense and I refuse to give up." Needless to say he hugged me sooooo tight when I said this. He kissed my neck and told me that he was really glad I trusted him enough to put my ass on the line to be honest with him. No, we didn't have sex. Which I did NOT want to anyway, lol. He was actually teasing me because I was unconsciously putting his hand away whenever it wondered somewhere and he complained "Why are you being so weird right now? Do you not want me to touch you? I can stop if you want!" Lol. He thanked me again for telling me at the end of the night...it's now confirmed that I have an AMAZING man. Even if we're not having sex right now, HE ACCEPTS ME. And was very quickly able to see past this condition to realize that yes, it's still me, the girl he's been crazy about since last year. :) So happy! Moral of the story: not all guys suck. Some of them will even see past the herpz. So smile and keep your head up while you find him!

Hey guys I'm 21 and got (h) about 5 months ago from an asymptomatic guy. I'm in no way promiscuous and I REALLY cared about this person who'd gotten tested before that year for STD'S but, of course, HSV1 and 2 are not included in most STD tests. It was REALLY bad luck and I'm pretty sure it was during a week that he was pretty sick, with a fever, and we still had sex....and I'm pretty sure once it was unprotected. With such a lowered immunie system, viral shedding is a LOT more common. So just avoid sex if you're feeling under the weather too! the 2 OB's i've gotten have been around my period, so from here on out I plan to avoid sex the days leading to my period in case I have padrome symptoms (50% of viral shedding occurs during padrome). You can totally be safe and have this, especially if you have condoms! With my precautions, in a year of regular sex, there's only a 1% chance (probably much less since I'm taking so many immune system boosting supplements and since my body responds so well to acyclovir) of passing it to a partner with a condom. I hate the fact that it's labeled as a "disease" because disease has a very negative connotation of being related to being "unhealthy" and "sick".....Uh. Well: because of this, I eat a lot less chocolate, nuts, and fats, I take lysine, olive leaf extract, and my multivitamin EVERYDAY. I try to excercise more too! And besides the outbreaks I had before I started on suppressive therapy (haven't had one since) I am very effing healthy, thank you very much lol. Herpes doesn't do anything to you besides cause a skin condition every once in a while. Imagine if acne was contagious? People in this superficial as hell society would freak the f out too! Some things to consider are: 25% of women have this in the US and a bit less than 20% of men. With medicine and condoms you have 1% chance or less of passing it to a man if you're a woman and 2% if you're a man to pass it to a woman. It's the same virus as the cold sore virus, just with a different host region. Acyclovir has shown to reduce viral shedding days from 10-20% to a bit over 2% in a year. The stigma of herpes is only this strong in VERY FEW countries...I think the US, NZ, and Australia, and parts of the UK are some of the FEW. In Latin America, Asia, and many parts of Europe (Italy, Sweden, Spain) this is NOT A BIG DEAL if you avoid sex during outbreaks!! We're just int he wrong fucking country lol. But that doesn't mean that every person is gonna be a douche about it in the US. I'm gonna disclose TODAY to my boyfriend and am pretty confident that he's gonna take it well. I've disclosed to myself, practiced disclosing to him, and am so certain that he's one of the best people I've met in my LIFE that he will take this as me being vulnerable and completely transparent. Of course, I could be totally off; but when you decide that you're ready to be vulnerable with someone, and you find the right person, you will feel comfortable about telling them too! I'm not telling him to come to terms with it myself, I"m telling him because I see him as someone I can be completely honest with and that I want a serious relationship with and feel that he will see me as more than this condition and know that the risks are so small that it's worth it. You have more chances of getting a car crash (or even get riskier things like HPV) than to get this with all the information and precautions we have available because we KNOW we have it! Whatever C (my guy) says, I'm still gonna wait till at least November to have sex since it'll be a few weeks over the 6 month mark when the viral shedding rates are higher. But even WORST case scenario...if he says no: he's not my KEY to happiness. If it were only that easy! And if you talk to the people that take this condition WELL: they have a MUCH HIGHER (if not 100%) SUCCESS RATE with disclosing and getting into wonderful relationships! I think the formula is: 1. Accept you have it and GET OVER IT. There are much worse things that could happen to you. You could be schizophrenic, you could be a vegetable, you could be missing 3/4 limbs, you could have AIDS or HIV, you could have terminal cancer. Get over yourself! This isn't that freaking awful! 2. Realize how many times society has been wrong in this country (african americans, communits, gays) and realize that this is just one more of those times. Fuck society! You're never gonna be happy if you're trying to fit into it's every mold! 3. SMILE AGAIN. And know that your friends won't leave you for this, it wont affect your chance of employment, it wont affect your chance of being healthy (in ANY WAY), you're gonna have amazing beautiful children, and with someone that was fucking cool enough to ALSO say "fuck society. I want you. Period." 4. Think back to how you got this and imagine -- just from physical symptoms and society aside --- if you thought this was the person you could see yourself with for the next 50 years: would you take the risk? I say: fuck yes. I choose love over herpes. Any day. And I'm not an asshole. 5. Realize that YOUR CHANCES OF FINDING THE ONE are lessened SEVERELY if 1) you don't do steps 1-4, and 5, you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to share this with someone that might take it as a chance to be every bit as transparent, and vulnerable as you and respect you for your integrity and strength. Also realize that sex is an ADDED BONUS to a relationship and when you disclose you shouldn't make it sound like an ultimatum of "you have to have sex with herpes or we're done"...but rather "I wanna be with you, and sex is an option that can be put off as long was we want it to." These are all the thoughts have have been going through my head as I prepare for today....and I'm ready to disclose to my man and ready to prove society wrong that EVERYONE has this stigma. Updates to come. ;) pm me if you wanna chat more!

Hey guys! Fairly new to the forum.... just finished talking to Adrial (I'm a total fangirl now!!!)I and about to disclose TOMORROW. (Still have the jitters!!) I'm 21, have no gender preference and am in the cincinnati are but spend a lot of time in chicago area. I've had HSV2 for 5 months. I will post about this sunday morning.... hoping (and pretty sure) it will go well!

I have my herpes test results to identify the type coming back tomorrow. Terrified? Absolutely. My last doctor told me she was almost certain it was type 1.....shows you how unknown doctors can be as I have found you can't visually diagnose the type even during an outbreak. I have had 2 outbreaks, almost 3 months apart, both right before my period. Going on suppresive therapy after the results come in no matter what....Just started seeing this guy. It's been a couple of weeks and he's pretty amazing. Have not had sex under the excuse that I wanna wait although I did give him oral. Have no idea if the relationship is gonna go anywhere because we're leaving for different cities for the school year in about a week, but we're pretty crazy about each other....even if it goes nowhere, and if there aren't any deep feelings involved, the idea of disclosing seems like the scariest, most intimidating moments ever. I wish I were like most people who have this who just don't get symptoms ever...so i just wouldn't have to deal with this...