VirgoGirl

Hi, i have HSV2 as well, and currently breastfeeding. I was told that Lysine was fine to take by my Naturopath. So I have been taking one a day. I hope that wasn’t wrong information!

Hi Harlow! I;m not sure if you remember my thread from a couple weekends ago about my fear with disclosing to my new sweetheart. I confided in him my situation and he was completely accepting of it right away. I just came back from another wonderful weekend with him and we are going stronger than ever. When I am with him, I feel like I'm back to my same old self-the person I was before the H. He makes me feel beautiful and wanted and everything you can imagine. I didn't think it would be possible to find that someone that you can be completely head over heels for with this condition, but I did, and so can you. I am also very fortunate that he wants to talk to me about it. We are comfortable enough around each other that we can openly discuss how its affected me and precautions we need to take because of H. And surprisingly, when I talk to him about it, I don't feel dirty or shameful because he doesn't make me feel that way. I realize some days are harder than others Harlow, but have hope that it will get better. trust me, it will! You will find the right person for you, they are out there waiting to meet you! You WILL date again. Have fun! Take your time and get to know the people you are seeing. Be confident in yourself and it will shine through. Don't let the H hold you back from being yourself and enjoying life because love can exist after this. I'm just one story of thousands proving that :)

we are all here for you!

Harlow, please let us know how this went!! I am sending out positive vibes your way as well!! remember, that you are worth everything and that if this person is the right one for you, then it will work out! Just be confident and true to yourself. You must accept H as a part of yourself and explain how it has made you a stronger person. It is hard to know when the right time to tell him is,but do it when you feel the time is right. You'll just know. and its true that there are so many other people out there without H, but what counts is that he has this amazing connection with YOU at this moment and that is not easy to find. Herpes should not matter at that point. If its meant to be, it will be <3

Thank you everyone! It was very scary but I knew deep down disclosing to him wouldn't be a deal breaker ( even though I expressed lots of fear, its only normal!) we really got to know each other weeks prior and connected on such a deep level that I could feel within my core. If he were to have left, however, I would have accepted that he wasn't the one for me. So in a away, I thank H for the gift of waiting and taking my time to get to know someone, and for allowing us to start a relationship off with a deep level of honesty and truth and communication.

thank you all for sending out positive vibes and good thoughts this weekend. I am sure they all worked there way to me at that time! I am celebrating the fact that I don't have to stress anymore and can enjoy these happy thoughts without a shadow of shame :)

Hello everyone! So I had the talk with my sweetheart this weekend and it went really well! He was very open to listening to me. I brought it up when we were lying in bed together, and he just held me close as I told him. I let him know how much he meant to me and how connected I felt to him so I wanted to be open and honest with him about something personal. I told him the stats, and that it was very common, and how it had made me feel. We just held each other and fell asleep. He didn't treat me any differently the next morning, and still wanted to be with me more than ever. Today we chatted and he had more questions that I answered for him, and he told me how happy he was that i was able to tell him about my situation, and that we can work it out. I am so incredibly happy right now that I have found someone amazing that I am so attracted to, who accepts me for me and wants to care of me no matter what. We also made it official this weekend. We're together and going steady. so cute! Thank you to everyone who supported me throughout this ordeal. The talk wasn't as bad as I thought. Its the build-up it thats the worst, but I am so glad I have this off my chest. I feel so much lighter and can just enjoy every moment now!

just a heads up : this weekend will be the weekend. I am going to go visit him, and will disclose confidently. I am feeling good and positive about it and happy I will have the chance to do this is person. I will let you all know how it goes when I come back. thank you all for your support!

Thanks Lisa, i really appreciate that :)

everyone is so amazing here, it fills me with so much love! I will be sure to let everyone know how this goes. I will create the right moment and just let it flow. xoxox

That is awesome news! So happy for you! :) I am ready to disclose to my sweetheart this weekend and am feeling a little fearful of it..pretty scary bringing it up for the first time! How did you ease into it, if you dont mind me asking?

Thanks everybody! I still have yet to disclose..I may see him this weekend and if thats the case, it will be done this weekend in person for sure.. I find skype sort of intimidating! lol. I skyped once with a friend, and our computers kept freezing and it was sort of awkward...so I wouldnt want that to happen if I was in the middle of saying something important.. I have been extremely anxious though and have been breaking out in hives over this...I know this is not good as stress can lead to more outbreaks as well, so yes, I do need to disclose to him asap. I feel like I am being dishonest with him when he has been truly open with me about himself. My goal is by the end of this weekend when it feels right in the conversation..He keeps talking about how amazing and sweet I am and how much he'll care for me..so why i am so scared?? I know I'm awesome :)

I somewhat like the idea of a public reveal too. Like, its not such a big deal..mentioning it casually like it doesnt phase you, and show confidence.. I think it boils down to wherever it feels most right and comfortable at the time :)

I have wondered these same questions myself... especially with fluid contact. Like..if he touches me down there, then touches himself, can it be passed on that way> also, I have outbreaks on my genital region, but its not just on my inner vagina, I had pimple like sores on the outside, in a section that isn't covered by a condom? can he get it there too? one more thing...I've had some what of a rash sometimes on my upper thighs and not sure if thats an outbreak..if it is..can it be passed to him just if he rubs my thighs against his? alot to think about...

hmmm..I have been wondering these exact thoughts very much recently.. so much to the point that I have been stressing myself out with anxiety and giving myself hives as my time of disclosure is looming close :( My current sweetheart lives 2 hours away..and I want to disclose to him in person but this location seperation makes it difficult. I am wondering if i should wait and tell him in a city 2 hours away from me, or disclose to him over the phone (which seems much less personal)..oh the dilemma is stressing me out :(

Thank you so much Kristin! You have managed to find the complete right words for this situation. the best thing, and right thing, for me to do , is to just DO IT! and breathe and let go, like your user name says. and your right, in the end, it really doesn't matter how I disclose, or where. it won't change the outcome or how he feels

I am getting way too caught up in the details, I know. Disclosing becomes much more difficult when its telling someone that you really like and can see a potential future with. I think its better for me to tell him sooner because all this stress is detrimental to myself. I know he has a right to know and I would want someone to do the same for me as well. I really wish I would have told him this weekend. Im regretting not doing that. I would rather do it in person, than over the phone. I dont want to wait though. I wish there were just right answers sometimes!

I think I am going to have to tell him tonight. I am not sure I can wait much longer, because I am thinking about this way to much and cant concentrate on anything else. I would like to tell him in person, but don't feel its fair to keep him waiting any longer ( It may be another 6 days before I see him and I may not even even see him this weekend at all). So, over the phone, or skype would be the next best option. Is it that bad to do it over the phone? in a case such as a long distance relationship like this?

Thank you everyone for responding to my dilemma. I think it is good advice to explain in a safe spot. I really have no clue where our next date will be, like, If I am going to go visit him or if he's going to come here. I have a feeling I will be going there to see him. But I can tell him before we go out for the night, then go have a good time and not think to much into it. I am who I am and he seems like one who is very open-minded to a lot of things. And I guess in the end, if he can't accept this small thing for some reason, then thats just the way it is. Hopefully that won't be the case though. skype is also a good option as well, thanks Adrial! never thought about that :)

Thank you for this response! I am well aware of how beautiful I am despite this. And i do realize how important confidence is when disclosing, so I will do that when giving the talk. I have done lots of research on it, and know the stats so will inform him. I know I need to tell him the next time I see him, especially since he has expressed he wants to be with just me. I have to let him know to be honest and communicate with him. He has a right to know. Its hard to know when to tell him though. Should I travel 2 hours to see him, then tell him in person? Or would it be ok to tell him on the phone this week? Its so hard to know exactly when.

I know that the talk shouldnt be something I am so scared of, but I am. Its hard not to be. So, the story...I met this wonderful man recently online, and we talked every day for almost 2 weeks. During this time, sex had been brought up into our conversations a couple times, so I told him I like to take things slow before I sleep with anyone. And he said he felt the same way too thankfully. So we decided that we should meet up and get to know each other better. He lives 2 hours away in a different city. I travelled to meet him last weekend and we instantly hit it off. there was such a connection between us, it was amazing. I spent the entire weekend with him. Kissing and such, but no sex (even though we both would have wanted to, the attraction towards each other is intense and mutual!) He travelled back home and we continued talking all week. He mentioned that it would be good to wait a bit for sex. I told him, I couldnt agree more. He also mentioned that even though he enjoys having sex, its not the most important part of a relationship. All good things I wanted to hear from him. This weekend we met up again. This time he travelled the 2 hours to come see me! Again, we hit it off like crazy! The connection and attraction between us is so strong, that we both can't deny it. We were talking at my place on Friday, and the conversation turned sexual once more. He was talking about condoms and how its important for him. And that not enough people talk about condoms anymore. He said they are good, not only to help prevent pregnancy, but also to stop the spread of diseases. I wanted to tell him then about my situation, but couldnt. The next night, we made out a couple times, but again, no sex. But here's the good news: He mentioned last night that he's falling for me hard and that I am one of the most amazing people he's ever dated. And that he wanted to be my boyfriend. My heart raced hearing this from him because it's exactly how I feel too! Now I am fearing having the talk with him. This is one of the most amazing men I have ever dated and he makes me feel so incredibly beautiful and special. He said I'm worth it to travel the 2 hours even if we can only see each other on weekends. He is a very non-judgemental guy and very open to communicating with me about things. i really feel i need to tell him soon now, especially since he's expressed that he wants to 'go steady' and not see anyone else. I feel like 'h' is a shadow hanging over my head when i am with him, but I am scared to tell him. i don't want to lose this awesome relationship with him, if i tell him and he may not accept it. Falling in love and scared he wont want to be with me because of this. when should I talk to him? :(

yess thank you for sharing this amazing story! These are the reasons why I come onto this site, to get support and hear the good news. I am so happy for you that you have found something who can see past the 'h' and be with you, for who YOU are! I am going through the same situation right now (about to start a separate thread explaining my story). Met this guy, it's been a couple weeks, still haven't slept together yet, but we both really want to. He expressed last night he's starting to fall in love with me. It scares me so much to have the 'talk' cause I fear he won't want to be with me. I know its not good to think that way, and it probably won't even turn out that way, but it's so hard. So hearing about a succesful herpes disclosure talk is amazing!! gives me hope :)

I loooove this story! i've actually re-read it several times when I have needed a little extra boost and reassurance that the disclosure can be a good one! I myself feel that there will be a time of disclosing sometime soon, so will use some of your conversation as well. So happy for you! :)

I have had hsv2 for 4 months now, and ever since getting involved with the Herpes Shamelessness movement thread on here and talking to other people about our willingness to disclose to others, I have been doing it more and more. Lately, when I go out, I find myself wanting to tell more of my friends just to get it off my chest. I only tell friends I feel I can completely trust at the moment, who I know don't like to gossip. And every time I disclose to them, it makes me feel better and it opens their eyes too. I tell them the stats I read. I also tell them to make sure to be safe when they have sex. I feel like a safe sex advocate now! after confiding to friends, they have thanked me saying they are glad to be more aware. They also stick up anytime anyone says a herpes joke!! Now that they know a friend with it, it affects them too. So, last weekend I told 2 friends, and felt better after each one. Then for some reason, I had the courage to tell a guy friend of mine, who I didnt really know for very long ( but even admited to him I have a crush on him too!) I am not quite sure what compelled me to tell him but I just came out and said it with no fear. I told him the stats, that a quarter of the population has it and 80% of the people who do, dont even know they had. I also told him I've come to terms with the fact and it hasnt affected my physically at all. I'm still the exact same person I was 5 minutes ago, before i told you. I still can't believe I told a guy I had a crush on that I had it, even though we had no intention of sleeping together. He didn't really say anything after. Was probably just wondering why I was even telling him! haha But the good news is, the next night, I saw him again when I went out. We ended up going back to my friends after, then he walked me to my place at the end of the night. I invited him up, and things got heated, and we ended up making out. He didn't even bring up anything I told him last night. It was a very magical night and he made me feel totally wanted! Woke up the next morning, made breakfast and watched a movie. And now I realize I am so glad that I had that conversation with him already because it allowed me to be myself when I was kissing him with no black cloud over my shoulder. I had already got it done and over with. funny how things work out, eh?

he may not even freak out. You never know!! Just be confident with yourself when you tell him, and if its really worth it, it won't even matter to him. Good luck :)