We were on a third date, after talking via emails and texts over 3 months.
We went on a third date, and on the way back I invited her over. She agreed without any hesitation. We talked and made out.
I was tired, horny and had been drinking beer and whiskey. I gave her oral sex and then she told me. I didn't even know what H was, no clue honestly. She hadn't drank with me. I guess what they say about trusting people who won't drink with you is true...
I should have been wiser and stopped, I tried. All I remember is thinking I better stop and leave now, next thing I know... we were done and I was asking myself if I would regret what just happened. I blame my sex drive, hormones, emotions, and alcohol for clouding my judgment. It is very hard to resist a beautiful naked woman. How do you kick someone out for revealing something like this? And yet find within you the strength to appease your desires...
Yes, I was weak. I should have taken a cold shower, a really cold one.
For the past six weeks, I have displayed every single symptom in the book, from tingling, to burning genitals and stabbing pain in the back and legs. I'm filled with regrets and anger, a sense that I was taken advantage of, used...
I did use a condom, and she had no symptoms at the time. I suspect the condom rolled during intercourse.
I expect to receive my official diagnosis from the sores tomorrow.
Besides having herpes doesn't mean I liked her less... I just hate having it now.
She seemed genuinely sorry at first. Altough after I confirmed to her my symptoms ,she had been avoiding me, won't return my calls and won't date me anymore. She won't tell me when she had planned to tell me. I'm not sure she ever meant to.
Now I'm afflicted with this, alone in my pain, lonely, and upset with myself. I promised myself I would never do this to anyone. Altough at times, I feel like taking revenge on the world. I feel as if she single handedly picked me...
My faith in people is shaken.
I have read everything online ( from blog posts to research articles on vaccines) and surely, H is not a big deal. It hurts as hell tough. Hurts like hell...
For the past 5 weeks I saw three doctors, they do not see any lesions convincing enough for them. Yet in my body I feel every symptom. I have stopped dating, isolated myself and plan to spend the rest of my year playing videogames and working out. My friends don't think it is a big deal, but they are not the ones who will deal with a sex less life.
It burns, it hurts, and I'm full of regrets.