Beachdude1984

I may be biased because I'm male, but I believe men are more accepting. - women have the power of selection. If she rejects one man, another will be along shortly to court her - women have an ancient instinct to run from danger, men to confront it - transmission rates are much higher male to female, and women prioritize health issues much higher than men - men have a tendency to think with their penis before their head - in my experience, women tend to be more judgemental - infection rates are much higher in women. Consequently, it's much easier for a woman to find an H negative man than vice versa. Those are a few things I could think of off the top of my head. Logic tells me that generally speaking, women probably have an easier time dating with this. But, bottom line, there are lots of people of both genders who will accept someone with herpes.

21

Wow that was totally unprofessional! Not to mention the lack of compassion and sympathy.. We I brought up my herpes issue to my general practitioner, he turned red and got flustered.. He was obviously very uncomfortable talking about herpes. It's not a very reassuring feeling when our medical professionals have these sorts of reactions to our issues.

Yes extra you are correct. I have pondered this as well. 16% have it, and 80% of them are unaware. What this means is 3% of the general population has HSV 2 AND knows they are infected. I am a white guy in my 30s, and the infection rate for my demographic is much lower than average. I feel very alone sometimes. I believe the "1 in 4" numbers we see thrown around are feel good statistics to make us feel less alone.

Forgiveness and peace, their position makes sense because if someone were to receive a false positive, what is the possibility that he/she were uneducated about this result and lacked the understanding to pursue follow up testing? Now you have individuals living life believing they have herpes when in fact they do not. FWIW, I agree with the CDCs position on testing. I can relate to the sentiment many people here feel about universal testing lessening stigma ("it's not fair that I know I have herpes, but most people don't know and get to live normal lives"). But really, what good would universal testing do? It should be somewhat of a consolation that the CDC considers herpes so insignificant that they recommend against testing. Bottom line is the medical community takes a reactive approach to herpes rather than proactive, for psychosocial reasons and because of a lack of effective treatments. When we eventually get a prophylactic vaccine I believe you will see the medical community change it's approach to herpes.

I have read that the transmission rate during an active outbreak (open sores) with no protection is about 80%. I have to ask, are you asking because a sex act occurred before an outbreak was noticed and now you are wondering the likelihood that a transmission occurred? Or because you are contemplating having sex during an outbreak? If the latter, I highly suggest abstaining during an outbreak. A few days without sex is a small price to pay to prevent a highly probable transmission.

Sorry to stray from the topic but I have a question for Dancer (that I hope is not too invasive). I've seen you post that you have had HSV 2 for 35 years, so I was wondering how often you have outbreaks now, and are you on antivirals? Reason I ask, is I have had HSV 2 for almost 10 years, and although my outbreaks have decreased in number and severity, I still probably have a flare up every couple of months. I've read that after a few years most people will get only 1 or 2 outbreaks per year, but unfortunately for me this has not been the case. Valtrex does help me tremendously, but it is expensive (with insurance it still costs me $65 for a one month supply) and I would prefer to not take pills daily. I'm so ready to be part of the "2 outbreaks per year" club, lol. Anyway, I was just curious about your experiences. Thank you in advance your reply.

Yea I hear ya... I'm in Florida at a wedding right now and I find myself wondering, "I wonder how many of these fine ass women have the herps?" Lol

@ Katie If you husband is positive for HSV 1, then in all likelihood it is an oral infection and you contracted it genitally by receiving oral sex from him. He can not catch the virus again, so you can receive all the oral sex you want without fear of transmitting it back to him. As far spreading it to different parts of your body, just practice normal sanitation practices during an outbreak (washing hands, etc). After a few months your body will have good antibodies and auto inoculation becomes difficult. The first outbreak is the worst, especially with genital HSV 1. You may never have another outbreak again. Head up and congrats on the baby.

Very little to worry about dude. The rates the ladies posted are per year. 1% per year. Primary outbreaks usually happen 2-10 days post exposure. If you have had no symptoms a month and a half later, then I would say it is extremely unlikely you contracted herpes. Get checked again in a few months just to be sure. By the way, the wording of your post came across as a little condescending and insulting to me.

Agree with Inka. Many, many doctors tell patients that the virus can not be transmitted in the absence of symptoms. I still think he had a moral duty to disclose, but I understand why he didn't..

How do the two people know each other? Or did the PS gal do some snooping and hacking and email your Tinder gal? I'm kinda lost. We need details! Lol.

@ inka Thanks for the suggestion @ dancer If I understand you correctly, you are suggesting that anxiety is a subconscious response to situations we feel powerless over, and in our case was initially triggered by herpes? I dunno, I'm not sure I believe that. I'm a very laid back person, and I've never been anxious over issues that cause stress for most people- HSV diagnosis, money issues, family issues, etc etc. My panic attacks stem from no where and happen randomly- at work , driving, watching TV, etc. I'm more apt to believe HSV and anxiety is a coincidence (at least in my case), I was just replying "yes" to the OPs question about anyone suffering anxiety post-diagnosis.. Anyway, I do appreciate your insight

Yes I had my first panic attack (at age 24) about 3 years after I was diagnosed with HSV. I thought I was dying and/or having a heart attack. I was really hungover when it happened, so I assumed it was because of the hangover. From then until now (6 years), I've had probably 8-10 full blown panic attacks, with many milder episodes mixed in. I've never been to the doctor, because I do not want to go on benzos. When I start to feel anxiety, I try to be still, regulate my breathing, and try to remain calm and keep my mind from racing. Seems to work ok.

Do you still have copied of his results from last year? If so, what were the IgG numerical values?

Lol I wasn't calling anyone old. Age is just a number and "old" is more of a state of mind, IMO. Just stating the reasons I have read as to why many trials will not accept people over 50. And yes, any vaccine approved for HSV 2 should give great cross therapy for HSV 1, considering the two viruses are nearly (98%) identical in protein structure, as compared to only ~50% identical to HHV 3 (shingles). Now, if a vaccine is ONLY approved for HSV2, you may run into issues with doctors ordering the treatment off label for HSV 1, insurance not convering it, etc. But, it my experience, doctors generally are ignorant about the physiological differences between HSV 1 & 2, and misdiagnoses abound... So I dunno how it will shake out, we'll see..

From my understanding, there is a higher likelihood of someone over 50 having a compromised immune system, thus risking an unfavorable disease response to an experimental treatment. The researchers want an experimental drug to appear highly efficacious in order to get it approved, and do not want skewed data resulting from older folks with potentially compromised immune systems.