seeker

they are few and far between. ive hard the univ of Michigan did most of this research and I think something was done at univ of south florida. I was having internet issues yesterday, 1/2 of the sites I tried said couldn't display, dns problem. was better last night but had my son and didn't feel like thinking about H at all.

I was just googling ( actually binging, medical marijuana and read a few results, skipping the obviously husksterish ones. ) http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6255077 this a short one. my browser is acting up this morning and im getting a lot of site cant be displayed stuff. and well this search turns up a lot of crap to weed thru also, especially pre-coffee.

hey, don't beat yourself up. I always used condoms and still got H. Im almost guessing that she "knew" and was mad at the world and in a don't give an F state of mind. it was cold her reaction but that is ON HER!. I agree that you need to talk with the other girl and I know that has the potential to be hard based on your relationship with her, but she has to know. someone took your right to make a choice away and it sucks, do you want to be the same type of person??? hell, ive thought ' well I could always go see an escort, who cares?" but even then I feel it wouldn't be right to possibly secretively give it to her ( not to mention all the others she may come in contact with). you need to live with yourself. no your not a leper, you have a frakin rash that's in a giggly spot, if it were on your arm no one would give a rats arse about it and up until about 35 years ago, they didn't. it helped me a ton to talk with a friend about it, he had been thru cancer 2x and other crap also so his perspective was a smack upside the head for me. good luck and keep your head up. breath in, breathe out.

I just got a script as planned parenthood today and nothing was said about non generic not being available anymore. once a Patten has run out on the original, any company can make the generic. sounds fishy, like maybe that particular pharmacist was trying to make more money. id try another place. the big pharma reps got to him.

so we in florida are about to have a referendum for medical marijuana and im pretty sure its going to pass. while I personally am not into marijuana and haven't been for longer than a lot of people have been alive, I have been doing a little looking online and there seems to be a use for this. first off is of course the de stressing nature of thc but beyond that there has been research that has shown that thc can hinder the " message" herpes gets to "go viral" and replicate causing OBs. would be kinda ironic that an herb that's been around forever and been vilified by various interest groups ( im looking at you DuPont) could help bring this millennia long battle under control ( while making everything so green!!!!) I wonder how it would effect lysine balance, well other than the odd stuff eaten while having the munchies. I will be voting for this because of several friends and well they have allowable levels of rat poop in our hotdogs but a grown up cant use a plant for their health???????

I already have gotten to know a couple of great women, yourself whitedaisies and dancer.

thanks ladies, I was just feeling a bit down and was kind of enumerating how various factors can cut out parts of the dating pool. and yes , I do enjoy being domesticated far more than single. fyi the dr appoint, so-so. I have episodic meds in the cabinet now and all I need to do is call and I can go into suppressive and at this planned parenthood it is only 24$ a month for suppressive so that financial burden has been lifted ( I was expecting 150 a month). so far my OBs haven't been much ( thank the gods, I knew those bribes would pay off someday) so im going to let my body work on it and learn a bit about it first. plus being on suppressives may make me feel invincible and I might talk myself into something stupid, I HAVE to go slow now and I kind of like it. I gave the doctor this sites address and the local meetups web address to hook up with them.

thanks to both of you. I was feeling pretty down because of printing out my lab results. the only "symptoms" I am dealing with at the moment are 1 healing blister from sunday before last and some itching in general which may or may not be H related. in general ive been getting better about my diagnosis but this was kind of an in my face reminder. plus Mondays after my weekend with my son are always a bit down for me, and with him getting older and spending more time with his friends im getting put on the backburner. im glad he has friends thru me so he has a reason to keep coming over. and yes I know 2 divorces isn't as uncommon today as back a few years it is still baggage and does eliminate a certain percentage of potential relationship opportunities, add to it the vasectomy my now ex talked me into ( I was committed to the relationship, kind of like how in a ham and egg breakfast the chickens involved but the pig is committed. and now SHE cant have kids and I would if I met someone who wanted them) which drops any woman who wants kids then throw H into the mix, yargggg. my only saving grace, being bored I looked at profile pics for this site and my local H related meetups and by god all the women in them are easy on the eyes! so maybe there is some light at the end of the tunnel and it isn't an oncoming train. I guess in order to get a sexually transmitted infection one has to be sexually desirable in the first place, :)

well Tuesday will be my first post lab DR appointment. They told me to bring a copy of my results or they would have to retest me again ( funny last time I was at Planned parenthood they only did swabs and I have no sores ). so I had to go into my email and download it to make a copy. well here I am several beers( F the arginine) later feeling kinda crappy again. I hadn't looked at it since that first night I got it. not sure how this is going to go tomorrow. if I will get an RX for episodic or one for possible suppressive. I haven't had the worst of OBs in the ( im guessing) 11 months ive had it. a fair amount of itchiness( and in the summer in florida if your nether regions don't itch you aren't human) but only a few sporadic sores. anywho, looking at that piece of paper made me get all bummed out. Im 49, twice divorced and as if that wasn't enough to skew the odds towards being alone the rest of my life I now have H2. Sonofa...........

thanks all. im currently using 500mg, may up it to 1k but im not having OBs at the moment. my first Dr appoint. is tomorrow and im a bit anxious but overall better than 2 weeks ago. I wasn't meaning as a true suppressive more as long term therapy. also anyone use that omega red? I know fish oil is suppose to be for the heart and to some degree the brain. my buddy who had cancer 2x swears by it and they now have a multi vitamin with it.

you are not a leper, you have a rash that sometimes rears its ugly head. I understand how you feel., im only 2 weeks from my lab results. The best thing I did was disclose to an old friend, he smacked me upside the head said " guess what everyone has shit to deal with and a couple people we know have had this for years. its no big deal. Yea you may have to be a bit more picky about who and how fast you sleep with someone but that's probably a good thing" He has battled cancer 2x so it helped put all this in perspective, not that I don't still get freaked out or want to cry or lament my past life but I feel so much better today than I did a week ago. you will move thru this. heck Im beginning to think helping other people thru it helps me. also there are meetup groups for this, they are private and pass coded but they help to normalize all this.

ok, ive read a bunch of posts regarding lysine but am still a bit confused. I started Friday taking 500 mg. do people take it as "suppressive" or only during outbreaks? and at what level for each? ive also heard of adding vit C 2000mg ( that might cause mouth ulcers for me) and zinc 100mg. the lysine doesage ive seen is 1-3 G. Im also a fan of the Echinacea and goldenseal but its my understanding that herbs are not to be taken all the time, like RX meds they serve a purpose. supplements are different as they are only boosting what you already need.

so ive been at this whole H2 thing less than 2 weeks, ive had a successful disclosure to a friend and am starting to try to figure out whats what with itches and bumps and such. However, I have noticed that in the past unless my buddy Blue Moon was with me I was somewhat reserved with women but since my disclosure and I have been feeling better I have been one flirty SOB. I don't know if its just a reaction or a devil may care thing. I figure Im going to be rejected at some point down the line so why not have some fun. its not gotten past anything superficial, check out girls at stores, mall kiosk ladies, etc but its been fun and uplifting cause ive gotten positive reactions, no dates but I haven't let it go that far, im not ready for that business yet I just feel more social and engaging with people somewhat. that happen with anyone else?

@ avigail. I am a recent diagnosee and I understand utterly where you have been. for me a big thing that has helped was telling a friend about it. He basically smacked me upside the head and said that it isn't that big a damned deal, its an inconvenient rash, everyone has "stuff" and even ( without breaking confidences) told me that a couple people we know have it also and have for years, and everyone I know has had relationships, gotten married, etc. My buddy has been thru cancer 2x and despite that is in better shape now in his late 50s than when I met him 25 years ago. so comparatively speeking a few bumps on/around my naughty bits on occasion isn't that big a deal. In a funny way its freed me, ive always been somewhat reserved with women (unless a few beers are in me) and now im flirty as hell cause I figure im going to get rejected so why not have fun and if I don't get rejected, bonus.

ok how do you do the @ soandso? newmoon, not really. im thinking a fair amount of the itching is in my head or a result of it being summer in florida. and we are in a bit of a heat wave here. the feels like temp has been 100-107 any given day this week. probably more where I was working ( outside btw) right in the sun and over asphalt!!!! by 9 am I look like I just went swimming in my clothes. I am not on any meds, first DR appoint is this upcoming week. I just bought lysine last night. only been taking a good multi and some Echinacea/goldenseal caps as I swear those two do wonders (killed a nasty flu years ago in a few days where everyone else I knew took weeks to get over it). I also have general allergies and it could be part of the dealio. my eyes were itchy as were my coworkers.

I joined 2 meetup groups in the central florida area but as of yet haven't been able to make a meetup ( only been at this for less than 2 weeks tho) I did talk to the organizer for a couple of hours and she was great and I plan on making a few meetups soon. the florida ones are private and passcoded just an fyi and it may take a day or two to get things lined up. I set up a gmail account for that meetup account as I wasn't sure how it would link to my other meetup account. apparently you can hide your groups tho.

Im44, that sucks and he was a complete dirtbag ( that is my g rated term). for me one of my biggest fears is giving this to someone else. I would absolutely hate to cause someone to go thru what ive been dealing with since being diagnosed. He was utterly wrong in not disclosing and giving you the choice, he may ( and this is no excuse) be angry still about his catching it and not working it out internally but lashing out at the world. that still doesn't change that he is human excrement.

I know ive made a bunch of posts for a newbie. just finished my first week post diagnosis. Last night I went to see an old friend and I disclosed to Him about my H. He kinda looked at me and laughed saying " you know what? we all have or stuff to deal with. this isn't that big a deal, more people than you know have it. as a matter of fact I know that several people you know have been dealing with it for years. ( he didn't say who and I didn't ask, its theirs to hold confidential). we spoke for nearly 3 hours about a lot of stuff but he worked it back into the conversation several times, mainly as a " you see everyone goes thru stuff" finally ending with telling me ' ive known you for 25 years, your strong enough to not let this get to you, whatever you need, let me know, me and my whole family will be here for you" it felt good to get it out there to someone. the pit in my stomach isn't quite as deep today, my hands aren't trembling and I feel a lot better this morning. Its good to disclose to a friend and when that friend is someone who has battled cancer 2xhas a bad heart because of it and when you met him he used a cane but now, after all that is in better shape than almost everyone around him, it kicks you in the head perspective wise. This isn't the end of the world and I understand that a bit more this morning.

I was talking with a new H buddy in a local support group. She is a 5year vet who was also a nurse. She asked me out of curiosity what my results said. I told her it was for H2, 6.4 HIGH. she remarked that unless I have a really good immune system that I may have had H for years. I was assuming that I contracted it about mid sept last year as I got really sick then with a few bumps the doctor thought was a bacterial thing along with mono. so, do your antibodies just increase in general or do they reach a point of stasis and only go up during OBs? I had 2 bumps when I got the test . OR could I have had it for years ( dear god I don't want to talk with my ex wife from 6 years ago about this) and caught mono and it triggered it? the mono was pretty horrific, 103+ temp for 3 days 102 for another 3, a throat that wanted to kill me, aches pains. all the classic symptoms, esp the throat I didn't think living flesh could be that color. the Doc took 1 look and said, damn that's some mono you got! I also developed bells palsy from it, which cleared up quickly except I cant taste certain foods correctly anymore. Oh and they gave me antivirals for the bells but not the mono, figure that one out???

thanks, I have/will look thru those. so far nothing has happened with the non nether region itching ( nor have I been itchy there) im thinking it was in my head, like when someone finds a tick on them everyone around starts itching. plus I do have allergies yet they have been fairly stable this summer.

thanks Adrial. its just all so new and being a parent with that protect my kid at all cost thing kicking in.......... inka, I have had depression before, even took meds for it. haven't been for a while but this thing has made me think about it again cause its gotten me down in the dumps pretty bad and not that any time is a good time for this diagnosis but I got mine during a introspective/retrospective bought to boot. im almost 50, where am I going in life? how did I get here? what legacy will I leave my son? who is now old enough to not want to always come see me or if he does he want to go hang with his friends instead......

UG, its the one week "anniversary" of my diagnosis. Ive beat myself up, thought about dying, figured my life was over, been unable to eat as much, have been less interested in well anything and obsessing about this thing. Im tired, depressed, angry and confused. I haven't figured out who in my own life I may disclose to just to talk about it. My sleep has gotten better somewhat ( yay melatonin). however, the first thing that pops into my mind when I wake 9 which is usually before the alarm goes off) is, "God, I cant believe I have herpes, why me? did I spread it in my sleep by scratching something?" It sucks. mornings are the worst and I have very little idea what composes an OB and shedding and if I can auto inoc anytime or only during an outbreak. If im not having an OB and im itchy down in the area and I scratch am I going to spread it? or does that only happen like a "regular" spreading of the virus, ie from an open wound? I just wish right now my stomach would stop feeling like I was punched.

Ok, ever since my diagnosis last week ive been itching all over. I know they all cant be H. I am wondering if someone can say if they are able to tell the difference in itches? looking back since what I believe to have been my first OB I think I had a different kind of itch in my nether regions on occasion, bit more of a sting to it, more pinpointed, not really satiated by scratching. am I just deluding myself or is there a difference? right now I feel like I just watched one of those monsters inside me or infested shows.

Thanks for the responses. Victoria, I read your post about your situation and I wouldn't beat myself up over it, He knew going in and He still wants to be with you, as someone said " bask in it". I would love to have someone want to be with me long term no matter what, who I thought was the love of my life, who I had a child with, bought a home with, built a life with decided one day that she wasn't happy and wanted out. I feel about the same way now as I did when she tricked me out of my house and had me served with divorce papers while we were "working on it". WSCdancer, I have read your blog and several of your posts, you are an angel in this little part of the world ( and probably a bigger part of it also). I know im not going to give H2 to my son but the emotional side of me reacts without logic. I would willingly be tortured and die for my son, He is my world. so the mere chance, esp with the somewhat self contradicting info about this "rash". like touching a sore and touching your skin elsewhere can spread it yet sores are poor sources of live virus for swap tests ( the planets seem to need to be aligned) and the virus dies almost instantly outside the body and really really doesn't like the air. Im still getting use to this, ive bought into the stigma from the outside and now im on the inside saying "wait what the hell???" It has seemed to make me a bit more spiritual, I seem to talk to the great mystery more now than I had been and it is making me think about my life and who I would like to spend it with and most importantly how I can improve as a father. one thing, this kissing business. ive no signs of H2 orally but is it mouth kissing? I haven't kissed my kid on the lips since he was about 4, its more on the head ( and the boy has an enviable head of hair) maybe a cheek. I assume those are 100% safe.

Hi I am an utter newbie at H2 and would like someone to talk with. don't care about gender. am in central florida (tampa area) and would prefer someone close by but possible phone convos are good also. Im in a pretty confused and bad place at the moment.