Ihaveittoo1975

Maybe this article has already been posted on the forum, but even if so, I think this is a very good for new to this site to use this as a motivator for those who struggle with their diagnose. In short, the more you dwell over your condition the worse you will make it for yourself. http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/psychological-issues-related-herpes "When a person is diagnosed with a Herpes Simplex Virus infection, either oral or genital, it is not uncommon for them to experience an onslaught of emotions. This may be true especially for those diagnosed with genital herpes. It may start with disbelief or the inclination to think the test is to blame for providing incorrect results. But as the realization of having HSV sets in, carriers may have feelings of sadness, confusion, and helplessness regarding how to process the information. Psychological issues related to a Herpes diagnosis are felt almost universally amongst people of all ages. Simply knowing one is infected can lead to feelings of stigmatization, either from others or self-imposed. In this case, stigma is defined as “an attribute or membership in a group that is devalued, differs from the norm, or is associated with undesirable characteristics.” The results of these stigmatizing feelings are many. Of particular importance, however, is the positive correlation between an individual feeling stigmatized and the number of Herpes outbreaks they experience. A model was developed proposing that the presence of regular negative feelings lead to recurrent outbreaks, and that having the Herpes lesions increases these negative effects, particularly when a person has poor coping skills. In simpler terms, people who feel stigmatized because of their Herpes are more likely to suffer a greater number of recurring outbreaks, and these outbreaks can in turn lead to a greater feeling of negative effects. Thus people living with Herpes may easily fall into a vicious and self-perpetuating cycle of outbreaks that may be difficult to stop. Furthermore, a person’s sense of self-stigmatization is influenced by their personal rate of outbreaks. Many people in the developing world (and many others in parts of the world referred to as “developed”) initially lack information to properly manage their outbreaks. As a result, they may feel even more powerless over things taking place within their bodies. There exists a direct connection between psychological and physical health in persons living with Herpes: when an individual is experiencing more negative effects internally, they will perceive and report more physical pain. The opposite also holds true. When a person experiences an outbreak, the stigmatized feelings brought on by other individuals and society will often cause them to believe they are feeling pain from the outbreak. Genital outbreaks can increase a person’s sense of stigma, potentially kick-starting a variety of consequences. These can include, but are not limited to: feelings of anxiety, depression, hostility, shame, social isolation, and a negative view of themselves. Effects such as these will often influence a person’s decision to inform medical professionals, friends, family, and potential sexual partners of their health status. Particularly with informing potential sexual partners, there can be truly unfortunate consequences as a result. If people living with Herpes receive so many stigmatization-inducing feelings from others, how then are they ever supposed to have a psychologically healthy relationship with the rest of society? The first step in reducing feelings of stigmatization lies in reducing a person’s frequency of outbreaks. Stress was long believed to be one of the most powerful triggers for outbreaks, but this theory is now being challenged. Although many people retrospectively argue that their outbreaks stem from stress, researchers have found that recurring outbreaks may be just as likely to cause stress. Regardless of whether or not stress is the cause or effect of outbreaks, properly managing factors that contribute to stress should help reduce their frequency. Studies have been done to test for psychological methods to reduce their frequency. Researchers have found that stress reduction, short-term cognitive behavioral stress management, and progressive muscle relaxation techniques have been successful in combating the frequency of outbreaks. Findings like these reinforce the concept that proper planning is an essential tool available to people who are living with Herpes and are looking to decrease the frequency of their outbreaks. Such techniques are relatively simple to follow, and are much cheaper in the long-run than relying on medication to control outbreaks. It is highly recommended that people work with a doctor to develop a plan for managing their infection that best suits their needs." Resource Merin, Abigail, and John E. Pachankis. "The Psychological Impact of Genital Herpes Stigma." Journal of Health Psychology (2010): 80-90. Print.

Well, not quite a Brit. More of a Scandi. :) Btw, I hope my post does not come across as bragging about turning around rather quickly. I'm definitely not 100% ok with this, and I may not ever reach that point, but I refuse to stop living my life due to this annoying hiccup. Since a while back I made a decision to make a significant change in my life, and although this diagnose has partially postponed that change by a couple of months, it will not stop me from going through with it. Actually it appears this change will actually make my life with H a bit easier. I wrote this to inspire others as I believe the more positive things one reads about H, the more likely one is to look at it from a more positive POV. There is already WAY too much negativity out there already.

Thanks guys, sounds pretty promising so far. Please keep your personal experiences coming. I tan quite easily and only burn after prolonged time in the sun if not wearing sun screen so at least my skin is used to sun exposure. I used to tan a lot some years ago due to bad skin at the time, but has since limited my time in the sun. Now I am mostly worried about being out on the golf course for four hours or more at a time, but then my affected area will be well protected and I suppose I need to be better at using a spf lotion.

I understand everyone has different triggers, but I am trying to find out how common it is for sun exposure to be a trigger. Do the ob's only happen after direct sun exposure to where the that individuals ob's occur, or is it caused by just being out in the sun in general fully dressed? As a guy, wearing swim shorts and boxer shorts underneath covering the entire area around my private parts, do I still run the risk of triggering an ob by going to the beach? What about being out playing golf or tennis? I really like being outdoors and live in a fairly sunny place, I would hate to constantly having to worry about this by just being outside.

Well, it has been exactly one week since I got the official results of being HSV2+. What a week it has been! I have only cried twice I think, but it has been on my mind non stop. I have spent countless hours roaming around the web in search of some hope for my "new life". I have run the same questions thorugh my head over and over again. Why did I do what I did? Will I ever find someone who accepts me with H? Will I ever have sex again? (Like for most people sex is an important part of my life) Will I ever be able to have candy, drink my McD caramel frappes, eat fatty juice ribeye steaks, have a beer or a glass of wine again? Will this affect my work? I am sure most of you recognize these questions from your iwn experience. Today I feel have come so far from the dark thoughts I had only a week ago. I am almost afraid to say it this early on, but I may have already accepted that this is a card I have been dealt to live with, now get on with it! Maybe it has something to do with that my first, rather mild ob, is now almost cleared up. In a way I am curious to find out how my second ob will develop, if at all. I am forunate to be in otherwise good health, I am a pretty confident in who I am and I have few other negatives things going on in my life, so although this past week has definitely been emotionally very stressful it could have been a lot worse. Finding this forum from the very beginning has made a major impact on how I have dealt with getting this little bugger. I won't necessarily say it has been a life saver for me personally, (I am sure for others it has been) but it has made my transition to my new (hopefully better) life so much easier. There are a few people on here (I think you know who you are) who are really awesome in the way you guide, support and care for us newbies entering this INITIALLY scary world of H+. Thanks to all of you so much! I spend a (too) big amount of time on forums related to my profession, but this past week they have really had to take a back seat to this forum. Hopefully I will be able to contribute to other new members making the transition down the line. Being European, one thing which has really helped me was finding a couple of threads on different forums concerning the lack of stigma of H on the other side of the pond. What a difference from how it is here in the US! No offense, but Americans in general really need to get a grip on all the fear mongering this country is so filled up with. And that goes for all kinds of topics, not just about H. Society, government, authorities and so on are trying to scare the American public to keep them in place so you are easily ruled. IMO the phrase "land of the free" has been obsolete for many years. It's time the American people fights back to regain the control of this country and make it "We the people" again. Sorry for getting political like this, but it's so ingrained in the US society and it does no one any good. In this particular case those of us who are H+. To finish off, for those of you struggling to come to terms being H+, know that it is mostly in your mind. Sure, some of you are unlucky to really struggle physically too (it's yet too soon to know if I will be one of them myself) but if you can fight the mental aspect of H you have won more than half the battle and it may very well help you with the physical part too. Take care everyone!

I would have shaken her hand to say good bye, and when walking off say: "Thanks for the education. And by the way, I am in the middle of a genital OB. You'd better go and take a shower now and then go see your doctor. " :)

I am somewhat surprised it has not been discussed more on this forum. I have come across their website a couple of times in the last few days and am tempted to pull the trigger. I am newly diagnosed and my first outbreak has pretty much cleared. I am willing to spend almost any amount of money to lessen the impact on my life this pesky H thing may have. I have ordered the Alum Dancer recommends but have not yet received it so will have to wait for when my (hopefully never) next ob shows up.

Although I am a noob at this I can definitely relate to all of your questions. Being a fairly newly single I am also constantly asking myself "Will anyone want me like this?". I try to force me into the thought that I have a lot more positive to offer vs negative, but that is not always helping me. Just walking in a super market I am asking myself "I wonder if this or that woman would accept me". But then I also think that with one out of four women being H+, maybe we are in the same boat. :) This past week it has been the first thought in the morning and the last at night. I have a heard time shaking it off. Only a week has passed since my diagnose and I realize it will get better with time, but right now i have a very hard time focusing on anything else. Since you, Chinup, mentioned you do a lot of working out, have you noticed it actually contributing ina negative way to your ob? I know you are only on your second one, but maybe someone else can chime in. The reason I ask is that I read that working out too intensely can cause ob's, but at the same time exercise is a way of staying healthy and keeping ob's away. Can too much exercise do more damage than good? The same week I contracted H I had just started to get into my work out routine again trying to get back into the shape I prefer to be in and I would like to continue with my routine, once I gather enough mental strength to get back into the gym.

Thanks for the replies and encouragement guys. Chinup, Sorry to hear about your second ob. My first one is on its last verse and while it almost feels like I will be home free (herpes free) I realize the odds are not in my favor for staying ob free for the rest of my life. But, until these suckers decide to come back I will have to keep the hope that they won't. If I do get a second outbreak it will probably bring my mood back down again, just as it has done to you, but as my first ob was 100% pain free (except for some mild pain in my left buttock and leg) I am curious to see what a second one has in store for me. Hopefully it won't be too bad. I have decided not to use any suppressants this first time around to see how my body handles it. I believe my immune system is pretty strong due to living an active and a for the most part healthy lifestyle, something which will hopefully help me in my fight against the virus. Four years ago I had the shingles, and although I was in severe pain for about a week, everyone who had experience with shingles were amazed how quickly I recovered (three weeks).

Thanks peace. The funny part is that if you ask my ex she would say I am one of the biggest pessimists walking on this planet. I ten to call it being a realist though. I think this experience has quickly made me realize a positive attitude is gonna get me in the right direction much quicker vs being negative. I am definitely pissed off at myself for putting myself in this position, and my temper has had an even shorter fuse the last few days than normal. I don't think one can expect anything differently this early on, no matter how positive you try to be. I am truly glad I found this forum as quickly after being diagnosed as I did. I spend lots of time on a few forums related to my profession, and I know how valuable it can be to listen to those more experienced in a subject than myself. Any doctor diagnosing someone H+ should refer to this forum, especially since many of them seem so clueless about herpes. My doc hardly gave me any sort of info on how to proceed, he pretty much just filled out the form for the rx and then sent me off to the lab for the tests. Luckily I am quite resourceful and always do the most to make sure I am well educated about something concerning me. Knowledge is power.

Howdy, I was diagnosed with HSV2 four days ago and although it has been a very up and down the last couple of days I feel as I have managed to stay fairly sane. Not actually knowing for sure between seeing the signs and getting the disappointing diagnose was probably worse for me. Now I just have to deal with it best I can. I know that I will be forever be paying for a drunken stupid period of maybe 10 minutes. And it wasn't even 10 good minutes!!! I think my age helps me a bit too, I am in my late 30's. Reading some of the posts from younger kids who just got the news really pains me, it can't be easy (not that it's really easy for anyone) getting this life long condition at young age. In a sense this couldn't really come at a worse time for me though. I am single and plan on moving to a new city and my hope was to soon start dating there hoping to find what could would be the mom of my future kids. I still have that plan, but this made things slightly more complicated. I hope I will find someone who will see the good parts of me and accept me for who I am and what I've got. I am quite confident in who I am and what I have to offer and I am hoping that will help me moving on. I have a good job and stable finances, am told by others that I am very attractive and in general I have a good personality. I am by no means perfect, if I were I probably wouldn't have made that dumbass mistake I made two weeks ago, and I wouldn't be here posting. I am not bringing up my good qualities here to brag, I am only trying to help those who feel this is the end of the world to look at what they can bring to a relationship, besides being H+. In a strange ways I think I will end up being a better person having to go through this. My life has mostly been good and although I have had my struggles in life I have not had a set back of this caliber before. Had you told me two weeks ago I would get a STD I probably would have laughed in your face. Now that joke is on me. Hopefully it will make me more compassionate for people in tough spots (I've had a tendency to be a bit judgmental sometimes) and although I have always lived a healthy life this will force me to be even better at that. Maybe that six pack I had 15 years ago will see the daylight again. :) I have only told three people about my diagnose, my parents who yet don't know much about this condition but I know will support me in any way they can, and my ex wife. She is actually convinced I will be able to rid myself of this nasty virus as she is a strong believer in natural medicine and healing. Being a bit of a debbie downer and realist myself I am not quite as optimistic but I do appreciate her positive outlook. Maybe I should keep her after all. ;) I am hoping this post will help others who are newly diagnosed see a bit of a light and realize life aint over, and try to see what good can come out of this. I don't know what's in store for me but I feel quite confident that things will work out in the end. Don't get me wrong, I have also had some very dark thoughts in my head the last couple of days, but if I don't take control of the situation as quickly as possible I think it will only take longer for me to get back to a normal life. I would like to thank everyone on this forum who post positive success stories, I think those are the most important posts on this forum as far as helping others move on towards the life they had pre H+. Hopefully, although I have yet to post a success story myself, this post will help some of you feel a bit better and optimistic as well. Take care everyone.

Hi everyone, After getting the "fun" diagnose (still waiting on test results but doc seemed certain and I am too) I have immersed myself with what internet has to offer on the subject. I ended up here and so far this seems to be the beat place to get "real experience" information. As most others getting the news I have been questioning what my future will look like and how to go from here. I have good support behind me which helps, but I still feel really bad about it. I have never been close to anything like this in my 39 years of life. Now I have to accept that I have it and try to make the best of it. I am trying to see the good parts in this diagnose, such as a good motivator to exercise more and eat even healthier and to any future relationships where I will hold off on sex much longer than I used to may lead to a deeper connection to the person I do meet. Yes, I am already thinking about dating and the many success stories I have read here are definitely encouraging. One of the topics I have come across browsing online was about taking a shot of the chickenpox vaccine ZVZ to prevent any further outbreaks. There was a clinical study done on 24 HSV1 & 2+ individuals and after some five years later NONE of them had had a single ob. I know 24 people is not a big study group, but a 100% success rate is quite impressive. My first (and still current) outbreak has been rather mild with no painful blisters and very limited other symptoms. I am otherwise a very healthy person and rather seldom get sick. Just like everyone else I of course would love to not have any recurring ob's so this article about the ZVZ vaccine really caught my interest. Those of you with more "experience" dealing with H, is this a treatment you have done or heard about? Here is the link to the study. The full report can be found in pdf format by clicking on a link within the article. http://www.dovepress.com/efficacy-of-the-anti-vzv-anti-hsv3-vaccine-in-hsv1-and-hsv2-recurrent--peer-reviewed-article-OAJCT Many thanks.