Ihaveittoo1975

Great to hear! Best of luck WD.

Hi cyclist, First of all, I highly doubt anyone here would judge you as offensive or ignorant. On the contrary, I think you have a very sound and reasonable approach to it all. Especially if I read your screen name correctly, and you are only 23 years old. You sound quite mature for that age. Great of you to still accept your girl, despite she waiting to disclose after you guys rumbled around. To many that is a free "get out of jail card" allowing you to flee with no questions asked. It shows that you really care for this girl. I can see how she felt it wasn't that big of a deal as she has only had one ob, but most of us on this forum are of the opinion that an infected person still should tell his/her partner to give them that option we all would have loved to be given when we contracted H. It's a big step in building a trusting relationship between two people who may not know each other very well. She probably like(d) you so much that she was afraid you'd run away. I will leave it to someone else to answer all of your questions, I just wanted to give you a guys' perspective on your situation in general. You sound like a good guy and I hope your girl realizes and values that. Thanks for being so open minded about H.

Thanks @positivelybeautiful, I will look into it further. And btw, congrats on your new relationship. You sound like quite a catch, lucky guy!

Yeah, I picked up on the cream part. Will see what I can find. I suppose when I am home I can leave a can of cocnut oil in my fridge and use aloe when I am on the road. I like the antiviral part of coconut.

Aloe might be the way for me to go, I will give it a try. Thanks for the tip!

You are a grownup, and so is he. You have informed him, hopefully he has done his research. He says he is ok with it, you have done your part. Now enjoy your man. I understand how you feel that H seems ok to him as you don't appear to struggle that much physically, but you are afraid it might be worse for him should he catch it. Although I appear to be part of the five percent who expires a lot of physical symptoms I have zero pain from my obs, just some mild discomfort in the pubic area. As we all know women often struggle more physically with H due to their anatomy. I share your fear that if I were to give this to someone then possibly they would suffer more physically than I have pain wise. Remember, you are actually in the good camp as far as that, the likelyhood he will suffer is less than if a man were to give it to a woman. To sum it up, accept that he is ok with it and feel blessed that is the case. That's what all of we herpsters wants to experience.

Doesn't the cocnut oil need to be stored in a cool place? With my constant traveling in and out of hotels, often to places with 110+F in the summer, I am afraid the oil will get spoiled immediately.

I bought coconut oil but then realized it was solid and needed to be kept cool to last. With all of my travelling that is impossible. I saw your link to fractioned oil, but I don't think I can get my hands on it over here.

Congrats! Looks like you may have found a keeper.

I think I will leave it at max 1000mg/day for now to see if that does it. So far the blisters from this morning seem to not get worse at least. Not sure if it's the valtrex or the tea tree, or combination of both.

Found some info on the subject here: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Herpes/Valtrex-and-Hair-Loss/show/1111781

Thanks wd. Hopefully I will notice a difference in a few days. Yeah, the friction was most likely the culprit. So annoying. One just can't win it seems.

@stillmebutwiser, It seems like we both have gone through a similar very stressful phase of our lives. I'm really sorry to hear about your mom's passing, I can't imagine how that feels. Fortunately for me I have not had to deal with something as traumatic as that, but a divorce, dad treated for prostate cancer, quite irratic work conditions with loads of travelling all over the world, living out of a suitcase both while at work and on my time off, moving from place to place to have a bed to sleep on, and finally moving to a new country on top of dealing with H, all in the past six months has really done me in. I have a tendency to normally be a "glass half empty" type of guy, but I have really tried to keep a positive attitude through despite all of this and not let this drag me down, but it is really difficult. I can't wait for this infamous first year to pass. I'm not a man of faith, but I pray things will quiet down for me too as time goes. This is not the way to live life. I wish you, and the rest of us chronic sufferers best of luck.

I picked up a dose of Valtrex yesterday and took the first pill (500mg). I also started applying tea tree oil to the lesions and they do seem to dry up rather quickly with the oil. I have read here that most people dilute it with a carrier oil, but I simply put it on raw. It didn't sting and so far I have not had any negative side effects, except for dry skin around the area I applied it too. I think I might have overdone it slighly the frist couple of days, but it all looks good now. Those were the good news, now to the bad news. I had some sexy times this past night and morning. No intercourse (extremely frustrating for both of us as we have had great sex pre H and we both so desperately wanted to "feel" each other again) but quite a bit of rubbing with my jammies on (they needed a severe wash afterwards hahaha) and after my partner had been pleased a couple of times it was time for me to get some "relief", ending the session with a hand job. I popped a Valtrex right away, but less than an hour later I noticed four to five tiny blisters. Obviously quite demoralizing as my previous blisters are just about gone and I was hoping for at least a few days of being ob free. I popped another pill and applied tea tree oil as soon as I noticed them, now anxiously awaiting the result. My question is, is there a transition period for the suppresive therapy to take affect, or should one normally expect immediate relief? I'm starting to suspect that I caught the monster version of H. Maybe me and my body still just need more time.

I just started on Valtrex yesterday, I sure hope that is not the case. H and loosing my full hair would be a double whammy for sure. Please keep us updated if it continues.

Hmmmm...I like MILFs. Hahaha @fitgirl you seem like a really cool chic . And @wcsdancer2010, the effort you put into this site (along with @Adrial of course) is very admirable.

Funny you mention divorce and that many happens to beautiful people too. My divorce papers will be signed this coming Monday. Me and my soon ex were always considered (not bragging here, just what others always told us) a very beautiful couple. My ex was a model at young age and always worked in the fashion industry. I have never received complaints regarding my looks either. :) I still got tired of her, although she is not anything like the pretty people @fitgirl mentions. In fact, even after my dx she was hoping I would go back to her. There were other things causing our divorce. I still hope to eventually end up with someone I consider pretty/beautiful, but when I am out in a bar or rowsing Match.com I always think, "nah, she's really pretty and probably won't be ok with H". I wish I didn't think that way, but I do. Maybe that will change with time. Before I would not allow myself to be held back like that.

....and it was her, not me. I just came home from my worst and shortest date EVER!! This girl contacted me on Match last week and from the very beginning it felt off. She called me this afternoon and asked if I wanted to meet up. I had nothing better going for the night so (reluctantly) agreed. We met up and walked to a bar. From the very beginning it felt awkward and difficult to keep a conversation going, which is never a problem for me if I find the person interesting. We got to the bar and I was already planning my exit strategy. After giving up on trying to have a meaningful conversation with her I started texting all kinds of folks to hint at my disinterest. She kept asking me if I asked any other girls in the bar, but I said no. There were LOTS of hotties in the bar and in my pre H days I probably would have been eying around a lot more, but not tonight. She finally walked off to some other dudes and I saw my chance to get out. I walked up to her and told her this wasn't working and that I was leaving. No protest what so ever from her, so off I went. In my pre H days I might have stuck around and tried a bit harder to get a connection, with the end goal of taking her home just to have some fun. Tonight, no. H to rescue, one can say. No real point here, but the fact that just because we carry H doesn't mean we need to lower our own standards. I sure as hell aint. It might not be so easy getting the prettiest girl in the bar any more (not that I ever really did) but (sorry to generalize all you pretty ladies here, hopefully my experience doesn't include you as pre H), those with gorgeous looks are often so superficial they would have a hard time accepting H or any other "deficiency" one might have.

Just walked into the pharmacy located in my building here. I asked if it was possible to get Valtrex without a prescription. She said "of course" and asked what strength and for how many days I wanted. Picking up a 42 day 500mg dose tomorrow morning at the hefty price of $55! No insurance, no prescription, no nothing. Hoping this will be the end to my constant obs. Folks, it doesn't have to be more difficult than that. You guys in the US are getting raped by the mighty pharmas, but you already know that. I paid $300+ in the US for the one week I was prescribed when I was newly diagnosed. The only "problem" is that the pharmacist asked me if I was the pilot living in the building (I moved in three weeks ago). I asked how she knew. Said the door lady had talked about me. So now I am no longer "the pilot", I guess am "the pilot with herpes". Hahahaha Good thing is no one seems to care too much about it here.

That guy is clearly a jerk! Don't let him be your standard of all guys. Some of us are actually pretty good guys. ;) As everyone will tell you, it will get better with time. It won't happen over night, but I sure hope the veterans are right about it. It's a roller coaster in so many ways. You have come to the right place for support. Welcome to our club where nothing is taboo!

I'm not saying it's a bad thing that he is progressing slowly with sex, but the fact he wont talk about it is what is raising a flag for me. And it's obviously bothering you. Communication (about anything) in a relationship is vital and the only way to actually get to know your partner well. Would it be too much to simply ask him if there is something bothering him, or if he simply wants to proceed slow? If you don't ask you may never know as he doesn't seem to open up voluntarily.

What, no space suit?!? What about a bio hazard suit? Come on, his suggested precautions don't seem adequate to me. Seriously, what he is proposing is nothing short of ridiculous. It seems that he may be just a wee bit more than "slightly OCD". It appears to me he does not know much about herpes, despite being a carrier for so long himself. All I can say is, if he insists on these "precautions", then you better look for someone else if you want a healthy sex life. Because with him it won't be healthy. Sorry to be so blunt, but to me this is a very clear cut case.

Sounds like he may not be very experienced in bed?!? Have you asked him about his previous sex life? If I were you I would tread lightly about your status based on this. To me it sounds like he is already anxious about something sex related, and although all us of here know that ghsv1 is normally not a big deal as far as transmission, it may spook him even further. Try to find out the underlying reason why he shows little interest in rumbling around in the hay, and then based on that you can decide whether or not it's the right time to disclose.

Yeah, I will start to dilute it with coconut oil as a carrier. Might be a good idea to put it on pre-workout, except people will wonder why I smell like a pina colada.

@Sil88, I think it depends on in which country in Europe you are in. From what I understand H does carry some stigma in the UK, but not as bad as in the US. Continental Europe seems to see it as a much less severe condition. In my home country of Sweden, where apparently (shockingly) some 30-40% of the population carries HSV2, it's quite accepted.