Wiwino

Im 27 so I get how you feel. I won't say it gets easier right away....but the shock lessens. Cry if you need. Nothing wrong with that! You are very lucky to have a supportive guy!

Funny how he is so uptight about you having hsv2 but did not care to disclose to you earlier about his ghsv1. That saddens me. If you both end up having hsv2 and have antibodies, there should be no reason for all that sterile sex stuff. That's not living life at all. I would direct him to this site so he can get better informed :)

I'm big into working out and thankfully haven't had any issues yet. Knock on wood. I think key things would be to wear loose fitting clothing and shower asap after. Let's the area breathe and stay clean.

I should have clarified a bit more. I ended up having one of the bad strains. After the biopsies and surgery, the doc said I was a step away from full blown cancer. So if I want to put a positive spin on it, getting H made me find out about it. I'm hoping that when I go back in they tell me I'm good on that aspect, Just kinda wish things would start turning around for me!

When I find the answer to how to shut it off, prettysure2, I'll let you know :)

Since being diagnosed in October, the majority of my days haven't been the greatest. Basically was sucked into a dark, dark pit of self hate. Most days I wished I never woke up. Started eating my feelings and putting on a few pounds. And I know I played the victim game. But how can you not, especially at first? Add to that I potentially had cervical cancer from hpv diagnosed just a few days after hsv. Seriously? Two stds in one week? Lucky, lucky me.I haven't even been with that many people. With those odds, I should have taken the next flight out to Vegas. Just a real rough time in my life. My giver doesn't want to talk about it.. Whether it's because he hates himself too or is in denial, I'm not sure. He doesn't have symptoms so he doesn't understand what it's like either. Of the few people I trusted to tell, I've lost some as friends. Apparently since I couldn't believe in positivity, they couldn't continue to be my friend. That was hard to swallow because I was already suffering and just wanted someone to listen and stop cramming happy thoughts down my throat. When you feel like horrible, sometimes you just want to hear I'm sorry, this does suck instead of everything is gonna be fine. Because really, it didn't feel like it. As of February, I've been better. There are days it doesn't cross my mind; that I haven't thought about throwing myself out the window. Dare I say I've felt normal. I've been getting back to working out, which was something I loved to do previously. As the weather warms here in Wisconsin, it's been easier to be more optimistic. There's something magical about being able to smell spring in the air. I have even tried dating again. Looked into PS, but I'm too embarrassed to post a picture. And if I was honest with myself, I don't want to limit to only positive people, especially since there's not a lot on the site near where I live. I've had a few random other dates, but I have no zeal for anyone. And I have no idea whether it's because I'm actually not interested in the person or if it's just because I still think no one will accept me so I keep at arms length. I find myself wishing my giver would wake up and want to try things. Not because he's positive (though that would be a load off) but because a small part of me still cares for him. Okay, so maybe it's a tad bit bigger part. But I don't wanna waste life waiting for that. I'm worried that no one will look past this virus to see how, excuse my language, fuckin fantastic I am. Most of my friends have found their person and have that happy glow. I want that so bad. I'm so tired of being alone. I want to go on life's adventure with someone and it just keeps seeming like a stupid dream now. Dating was hard enough before. And I'm too big of a wimp to come out and let everyone know. I wish I could be more like all you fierce, proud ladies on here. It's my goal for the future. I want to be strong. I want to be a bad ass that won't let this virus beat me. But being strong has been exhausting. And I guess that's why I'm here, tonight, writing this rambling and long post. With a few tears. Thankfully, no typhoon of tears. Baby steps, eh? So I'm sorry for anyone that reads this, it has no real point. I just don't know where else to go or who to talk to. I don't want to burden or lose more friends. The ones that have stuck around have been good, but they just can't really understand. It's also difficult with these friends because I know I've changed. I'm not exactly the same person I was in September. A quote from a song really sticks with me..."how a face can change when a heart knows fear." But God damn I hate that it's changed me. I don't know anyone else that has this disease for me to talk to. So hey, if you're from Wisconsin, hit me up. it would be nice to have a partner on the journey of becoming a hot little boss again.

Thanks ladies. I appreciate that. I just so wanted to feel like a normal human again. It worked and didn't. Considering I was feeling guilty the whole time I was way tense and it wasn't as fun and light hearted as it should be. Makes me wonder if I ever disclosed to a nonH person, if I could really be intimate with them. Or would the guilt of possible risk of transmission eat me alive? Bleh. I'll just stay single for now

I feel like I know this answer, but just having someone to confirm it would be a relief to my never shutting off mind. I've decided I'm going to be especially picky now with what guys I'll ever tell about myself. But last night I met up with this guy that we've been on again off again for a long time. He doesn't know about me... So to put it short, I kept my underwear on and most of the time his were too. Of the two OB I've ever had so far (labial, and crease between leg and the downstairs), it's pretty covered by underwear. There was no sex at all! I wouldn't not give someone the choice. I haven't had prodromes nor an OB lately. I guess what I'm asking is how much of a chance is there that he could have caught it from just that kind of contact? My mind says minimal but I'd appreciate any validation. And I know I shouldn't have even done what I did, but I haven't had any sort of contact in so long. I just wanted to be selfish and feel somewhat normal again. I feel rotten

So I understand that statistics that most don't know they have H. And for me, that was how I somehow did not get angry with my giver because he said he had no idea. I have never seen his records, but he had told me he went and got tested and he was positive. But on to my question, I recently read on a H support group that this guy has never known of a guy who has had it and not known it. Is there any validity to this? Men of this forum, any input? Now I sit here spinning my wheels wondering if I have been lied to this whole time.

I work in a lab and for normal urinalysis (which would show a uti) and culture, you wouldn't necessarily see trich. It's more often found on wet preps that have a swab that goes up into the whooha. So she maybe should go in and ask for that. It would also show if she has BV which could be causing issues

I had my first OB in mid October. Nothing since then thankfully. I haven't felt really itchy or weird in that area for awhile now. Would it be safe to have sex with my guy? He knows and is most likely the giver of this lovely thing. We haven't since due to traveling and holidays. So it would be nice for the both of us to reconnect I guess. Thoughts?

We seriously are in the same situation! I want to give him time, but at the same time it's hard for me too, you know? I don't wanna rush him but I'd like to

So I just need to vent a little. I hope no one minds. Or maybe even someone has gone through something similar. So I told my giver last week and it went awesome. But now I find myself wondering about how things are going to go. Though we talk every day and have seen each other twice, he has seemed more distant, not as lovey, and it's harder to get him to committ to seeing each other. Our schedules don't line up well and when they do he seems more apt to make plans with friends. Which he use to invite me along to. I have brought up that he's more distant and, a little tipsy, he told me that he had a lot on his plate (ex wife issues), use to his solo routine, homesick, and that this H thing is the least of his worries. So while I feel like you really do speak the truth when slightly intoxicated, I can't help but wonder if he's pulling away. I told him he can talk to me any time... I guess what I'm most concerned about is that it seems he's not as into me as he use to be and that scares me because I really like this guy. So am I just being hypersensitive and insecure? When we are actually together its pretty normal. So ugh... I just want it to be like it was :(

As my doc said, "super high" for hsv2

How much can they affect the test? I went to urgent care where they did the swab and gave me pills. I started taking them right away and got my blood test done a few days later. Should I be worried that my IgG test isn't negative?

I just disclosed for the first time on Tuesday and it went extremely well. The only advice I can give is to speak from your heart. I fumbled and stumbled over so much of it but what I said came from a good place. Good luck! Keep us posted

Background: began dating a guy... Got symptoms 4 days later, swab for hsv2, and then blood work tested negative for IgG antibodies for hsv2. Tonight was the first time I've seen him in person in awhile as he was out of town. We went to dinner and I was trying to find the right time to say something. We ended up back at his place and started watching home alone. My anxiety was building and I just decided it was now or never. So the words just came tumbling out... Asked him if he remembered me saying I thought I had the flu and how I went to the doctor and had a bunch of tests. Then I said the big scary words... I have herpes. I don't know if I've actually ever said the full word out loud. Terrifying. I started crying and said that because of my tests and onset of symptoms, it was most likely him but there's a small chance it might not be. And that 80% don't even know they have it. That I felt horrible and bad that I had to dump this on him just as he got back but that I couldn't do it over the phone. Just rambled on and on. And he was quiet and listened. He didn't back away from me in disgust. He wasn't mad. Pretty shocked but who wouldn't be. He took it so well! Said he had a few friends that had it. and while yea that it sucks he most likely has it, he's not mad or blames me. If anything he said I should be mad at him and that it took guts to say something. He plans on making an appointment and getting the blood test as soon as he can. The best part was that he said it changes nothing. He said even if he tests negative, as long as we took all the precautions we could, it changes nothing. I think it was then I started crying even harder. The stress, weight, and burden of this has been terrible on me and it felt so good to be accepted. I really hope he continues to think like that if he somehow does test negative. That still scares me a bit. He wanted me to stay over but I thought it best to give him some time to think. But when I got to my car my phone dinged with this "Sweetheart I can't predict the future but I know for now everything is going to be fine..I don't like the fact you have it and knowing I may or may not have it as well and knowing I'm probably the one that gave it to you but it's not going to change how I feel about you and how it's going to affect our fun we've been having together." So for the first time since I've been diagnosed I have HOPE. And it feels amazing. And I'm bawling as I'm writing this because I never thought it could be this way. Good men do exist. And I can finally sleep soundly tonight! :)

I'd sure hope it's orally since I haven't had that many partners and I've had exposure opportunities since I was born, basically. . That low number just freaks me out. I'd have expected it to be higher! :(

Well I'm pretty certain it's at least hsv2... Pos swab and zero antibodies. I plan on rechecking blood soon just to make sure I got antibodies for that and to "confirm" a recent diagnosis. Are most antibody levels high if you've had hsv1 for a long time, like if I had gotten it from my mom when I was little? Or could mine just naturally be lower? I'm not sure what I could gain from a western blot. I already know I have the one and intend to be careful with future interests. And I have no idea when I was exposed to hsv1 since I don't know where it is. I've never had an outbreak besides for hsv2.

I don't have high levels for either. I guess I'd just feel way better knowing that my hsv1 is oral and I'm not hiding that on the girl parts too. You know, just joining the majority of the population with oral hsv1.

So I'm certain I have ghsv2 because the swab came back positive and the pcr is pretty darn accurate. My question is about my blood work for hsv1. My IgG level is 2.0. Now anything above 1.10 is positive according to my result sheet but isn't that in the gray area? To be really positive is greater than 3, right? I don't remember having cold sores but my mom got them for as long as I can remember. So I assume I was exposed at some point. But the low number has me puzzled. Could I have gotten that down south recently too?!

This might be a dumb question, but it's worth asking and thinking about. Could the amount of virus found in your first OB mean anything? You shed less virus over time correct? So if the swab showed a high amount of virus present, could that point toward a recent transmission?

Thanks guys. I appreciate your help. I'm really hoping that he is the one because there aren't many options in the couple months window. Maybe like one. But how it happened seems to match. I'll just feel really bad and guilty if it wasn't him :(. I'd never want to put anyone at risk! What are the odds I could have had it longer and still tested negative for antibodies?

Hi everyone, Just recently diagnosed with ghsv2. Had back/butt pain and just kinda felt like I was getting sick a couple days after being with this guy I've been dating.. Saw a spot and got swabbed. Yup! But I do not have any IgG antibodies yet. I'm assuming it's from this guy, so what's the best way to tell him that he should get tested? I don't want to blame him if he doesn't know. But I'm hoping he doesn't go into denial either. Itd be nice to get through this together and not be alone. Any advice would be great!