JessikaRabbit89

I know I post on here a lot you guys lol, I just love this site and love sharing my HSV experiences with you all. I was skeptic at first to join a Herpes dating site, I was afraid of posting a photo and possibly running into someone I'd know who would rat me out. Since coming out I have a new sense of confidence so I gave a herpes dating site a shot. After a few days, I have talked to countless men, that are goodlooking, educated, funny, outgoing, and also Herpes positive! One guy in particular that I've been texting now, looks like Adam Levine (can you say YUM!?) lol and we are planning to meet up this weekend for Thai. We clicked from the first message, Skyped for 4 hours the first night, and I don't want to speak on it too soon but, if it stays this way it looks pretty promising. I am also on a regular dating site called POF and I came out on there as well, and most guys who message me are H- but still want to get to know me which I think is absolutely beautiful. So not all men are jerks I see. There really is hope for love! 🙂

I was looking up more about HSV and just learned something amazing. Apparently scientists and researchers did a study on the virus and its affect on cancer cells. What they found was that Herpes (manipulated by being used to attack tumors instead of healthy cells) KILLS cancer by attacking them from the inside out!!! It also leaves less of a strain on the body like chemotherapy does, so they don't need to use as much. I didn't believe it at first, so I typed in my google search engine, and theres pages upon pages of websites and articles stating the very same information. Herpes aint so bad afterall eh? Lol. http://m.huffpost.com/ca/entry/4356751 http://www.bbc.com/news/health-10817277

Haha hey the air is cleaner there I'm sure! :D those are kickass lyrics indeed. I feel so much better. Better days are ahead for me now

@shaeshae I'm all the way in Virginia :( and @positivelybeautiful yeah I'm so over him right now. Deleted his number and all forms of contact and photos. Officially out of my life. He deserves to be depressed and losing sleep. Asshole. Lol.

Wow @WCSDancer2010, that really put things into perspective for me. You are so right. I can't believe your ex played those mind games with you like that. Some men can be so evil. My friend did have douchebag tendencies towards other women but never towards me so I never thought anything of it. When he told me about the girl he slept with a month before we did, he basically dogged her out and offered her to his roommate, and she STILL had sex with my friend later that night. He said she was annoying and didn't get the hint that he wasn't into her, yet you go and f*ck her anyway? Yeah ok. Lol. Man I'm really starting to wake up now. It wasn't always sunshine and roses between us. I'm finally realizing he is so not worth my tears. I have so much to be happy and grateful for.

I'm sitting here playing No Doubt - Simple Kind of Life and Matchbox Twenty - Downfall on repeat. They express everything I am feeling fight now...ugh. @shaeshae and @positivelybeautiful I wish you all lived near me and we could all have a crying session and get it out of our systems. Then pig out on icecream and junk food. Hah.

:( you're right. I stopped texting 2 days ago...I give up on him. Its not the end of the world. *shrugs*...hehe..

@inka wow even after giving it to you he moved on to somebody else? :( I feel my friend has probably done the same, getting comfort in another womans arms, particularly his ex gf who hated seeing us together. He would show me messages she sent him saying seeing us together made her sick. Its making me sick knowing he sees my texts pop up and is purposely ignoring them while texting other people (he practically lives in his phone). Oh well...

I've read that it helps speed up recovery because as you know zinc and probiotics help boost the immune system and herpes tends to thrive more on a weakened or compromised immune system. So staying healthy and stress-free reduces your outbreaks and if you do have any they will generally be much milder. Thats what they say anyway lol. I also took cranberry supplements and cranberry is beneficial for speeding up skin healing time and rejuvenation. So definitely something to keep around the house! The main reason my OB was so bad and lasted so long was because it was my very first. I'm confident I won't have anymore or at least very minor ones after this.

@inka you can do it!!! Its all about believing in yourself and staying positive!! :) and @rainyfeather that story was beautiful. Made me abit teary I loved the ending. Thank you for that, it made my night <3

My symptoms lasted a total of 2 & a half weeks. I'm actually still recovering from it, feels like I have a little UTI action but its just my cervix healing from the outbreak. It sucks. I have changed my eating habits to Paleo as well, with the exception of dairy because I love yogurt and Kefir lol. My outbreak may have lasted longer if I didn't start antivirals when I did and take probiotics and zinc supplements.

Thank you @RJ17 I appreciate you sharing your story. In some way hearing that others have experienced what I'm going through comforts me because you all are still going on with your lives, it hasn't broken you, though it hurt extremely bad, you are still making the most of every day. I know in time I will get better, its just the initial blow of him giving me the cold shoulder. One minute he was sympathetic and apologizing for me being in pain and telling me we have so much to be thankful for and that we should focus on the positive things we have, then he just suddenly stops responding to my messages and phone calls. I deleted him off of FB and he got angry about it, we talked alittle later and I havent heard from him since. This has been now 6 days of total silence on his end. I just dont know what to think. I will use my goals also as a distraction. Continue working on myself,losing weight, eating right, going to church, going back to school and getting my degree. So much in the future for me to look forward to. Thanks again for reminding me of that.

:( @shaeshae. I would love to talk to you more, give me your strength to get through this because it feels like someone ripped my heart out of my chest. Its starting to sink in that I may never hear from him again...and its killing me.

I just copied and pasted that on my FB :) lol

Oh thank you so much for that. I truly needed those words. You are right. I was thinking he was a complete douchebag and my friends are feeding into it saying hes just an asshole, forget about him and move on with your life. I am doing it, but I know him better than they do, on a deeper more personal level. He has never disrespected me which is why I trusted him enough to have sex with him. I really didnt want to have sex again after my last relationship 8 months ago, because he disappointed me in so many ways. I started repairing myself, inside and out and during the process my friend and I got closer and now its something I regret greatly. In my heart I feel he will come back, he came back to me before when we had fallen outs. May not have been a week or a month later...but he always returned. I hope in time he will learn to forgive himself and reach out to me.

of weakness, and not even because of me coming out about being H+, but because the person who gave it to me was someone I deeply cared for. I had known him for years, we were always good friends. He was always crazy about me but I just didn't see him in that way even though hes extremely attractive himself. One day I had a medical emergency with my lung and I was very afraid and he comforted me like nobody else had. He had also went through a similar scare so he could relate and gave me peace in knowing I would be fine. During his first deployment we talked and skyped nearly every single day, just shooting the sh!t and being goofy like we always are. He came home a few days before my birthday and we went to DC and acted like Forrest Gump and Jenny at the Monument lol (our favorite movie). In a way we were a lot like that movie. I was carefree and kinda went where ever life took me. I would come and go out of his life, and he was this smart funny guy who was a fool for love. He told me the last night we were together "you know I've been in love with you for like 2 years. So many times I wanted to give up but I couldn't". We had our first kiss and it was like something out of a movie. Through the people we dated during our friendship there was still this spark and chemistry that we had. Now I'm afraid its gone. He went from being the sweetest funniest caring guy I had ever known, to being just like the rest. Treating me like I don't exist. How can he be ok with just shutting me out like this? My heart is beating so hard at the thought of never seeing him again or hearing his voice and laughter. I know time heals all wounds, but this one is going to take forever. I lost my bestfriend. Idk if I can ever recover from this.

Try drinking Kefir too! I drink Lifeway Kefir its a powerful probiotic drink that tastes like yogurt and it contains 12 live active cultures that helps regulate the yeast and bactera in your body as well as your lady parts. It also has many other health benefits too such as fighting off infections and even preventing certain cancers. I've noticed it works far better than antibiotics which usually causes yeast infections for me. I also read a few articles stating Kefir helps with Herpetic outbreaks as well. So definitely worth giving a try.

Yep, my symptoms started that way. A few days after I had sex, I thought I was getting a yeast infection because I had a deep internal itch. So I started drinking Kefir and the symptoms cleared up the same day. After I had sex again the following week, the itch returned. So I started using Monistat and thought that would help. Soon after, I felt sore and swollen inside, like you would after having sex, but this was many days later. Then, when I would urinate I noticed a discharge that I had never seen with prior yeast infections. Also during this time, I had an open sore near my vagina that was taking forever to heal and was painful to wipe. What made me get treatment was I had a fever, chills, intense tingling in my vagina, thighs and butt, swollen lymph nodes in my groin, and a watery blister that broke down to a painful ulcer on my inner labia. I went to the doctor and they confirm my cervix had lesions and that I had HSV2. Now I KNOW the difference because with a yeast infection, I typically have a fresh bread dough-like smell with the discharge and its white and clumpy. The discharge I had with Herpes was runny with a yellow tint to it and a bit of blood in it.

OMG!!!!! :D I am literally cheesing so hard right now!!!! This is so beautiful!! Congratulations!!!!! :D Kind of scares me abit though about being on BC because I was also on BC (just stopped them a day after my friend and I had sex and he didn't "pull out"). So my doctor told me to be on the lookout for my period this month lol. I wouldn't mind being a mother if it does happen though, I'll be 25 in 5 months so time is of the essence!!! Lol. So happy for you though!!!

You are so right on about that! I honestly feel this has transformed me inside and out. There is beauty in this 'tragedy' I now see. He gave me the gift that keeps on giving, but he also gave me a new appreciation for life, friends, family, a chance to meet new people (like the ones I've met here), and a whole new outlook on things. So I guess its not so bad lol.

Looking back on it now, there were SO many signs that were right in front of me about him. About 2 months ago, far before we hooked up, and I was abstinent already for 6 months, I had this nasty little rash on my neck from a wool jacket I had just purchased. When I was telling my "giver" about my situation, he laughs and says "where I come from, we call that Herpes", jokingly of course. I immediately freaked out but my Doctor rest assured it wasn't herpes, especially since the rash cleared up with treatment and I stopped wearing the jacket and haven't had anymore irritation since. ANOTHER instance when we were hanging out, I noticed HE had a rash on his thigh. He told me "I just get heat rash sometimes. When I got my sleeve the artist noticed I had it when he was inking me up too". Hmmm, thought nothing of it. THEN we ended up having a chat about STDs and I was telling him how I've been paranoid since my last scare a year ago and I call my Dr. over every little thing, even a simple whitehead. He goes "yeah, razor bumps, I get those". The first night we had sex, the condom broke. He kept asking "are you SURE you're clean?" almost like he's had something before and didn't want to risk catching it again. I thought he was just cautious and took that as a good thing, but thinking back on it now it was more of a paranoia kind of way of asking. Even after a few days he still asked "you're clean, right?". Then when I had the outbreak and called him, he didn't even sound shocked. He asked in a very low tone "is it Herpes...?" Then he texted me an hr later saying "I swear I didn't know....I never had symptoms...." and "I'm sorry for ruining your life..". He was owning up to it like he already knew he had it!!!! Now he isn't talking to me. Kicked me like a bad habit. Maybe its guilt? Idk. However, now I see him for the person he truly is, and I wish we never slept together. Oh well, it is what it is now...

Thank you @whitedaisy and @sleepless, I really appreciate it, and absolutely @shaeshae by all means!! :) I wish you the best on your journey my prayers are with you and if you ever need to talk, I'm here.

I just had more family and friends come to me in confidence telling me they also have Herpes. Wow. I am so overwhelmed with happiness and being able to share this with family and knowing I'm not the only one. Truly an amazing turnover in my life.

Awww @shaeshae, I'm so glad this helped you! It wasn't easy, and I wish I could extend this positive energy to my giver, who is now avoiding me like the plague. Some people are just effected differently by this. I chose to be as proactive about this as possible and not look at it as a burden. My sister and I call it my "stress management" lol. It has me more conscious of what I eat, what I get upset about, and overall its making me a better woman. So I hope others can see this as a blessing in disguise like I have.

:D I have no words at the moment. I am just beaming from ear to ear. :D lol.