[Was I declined or?]

I'm sorry but if he knew upfront you had h and still had sex with you, i also think he cut you off because he only wanted sex...some people are like that...I work with a single woman in her 40s who has had 3 different men do that to her already...and she is h negative...they laid with her under the stars, fed her romantic bullshit, and as soon as they got laid, boom they were done...one came back months later apologetic only to reel her in again, get laid again, and disappear again....she is down on herself but is seeking to be loved

And this goes for both sexes, there are women out there that are just as cunning.

Too bad some just didn't have the guts to say "I just want to have fun and go home"

It would make life so much easier

But, maybe they fear rejection for that subject

So they approach it in a dishonest fashion

 

Just food for thought

Hugs!!

[Will I ever stop worrying about every little feeling my vagina has?]

I sooooo agree about the typing of this disease should stop

The stigma is just awful, and it's why a lot of people stay in the closet rather than disclose....

Shamefully if you think about it, isn't that what the CDC promotes? Non disclosure? Let's analyze it, it's not part of the std panel, they don't keep appropriate stats...they don't recommended testing...so they are sending the message "move on folks and don't be concerned unless you have obvious symptoms"

To me that's a disgrace to put the burden of this stigma on those diagnosed to disclose and prevent.

Sorry for the rant ;(

[I know what I WANT&DESERVE damn it!!!!!!!]

@Sill88

I understand where that comment is coming from too because of the opionation of some that post....like 2legit said, it was in reference to men who cheat and lie and helping those woman effected by it cope.

However, that doesn't mean there are not women that cheat and lie also....I have done that in the past...I feel I'm human, I make mistakes, I have needs, wants, desires....doesn't excuse anything but it's both men and women who cheat...I just think on this forum you see more of the women effected by it than men.

[I know what I WANT&DESERVE damn it!!!!!!!]

@Thumper I have to give you a smile, you definitely know what you want and are not settling for less...that does show great strength! I'm thinking you are only interested in a man of Jewish faith because of your religious beliefs....My grandfather was Jewish, met my grandmother who was Catholic, they feel in love...back then he was disowned by his family for marrying a Catholic woman....they were married over 40 years and had 5 beautiful daughters.

I understand you don't have a need to spend time with people who have this disease....I can also be a loner, or a very social bug, I have also been in and out of counseling...just from where I sit, it is refreshing to talk to people who have this disease and have traveled the road I have begun to travel....like you, my time is busy and extremely limited....we have to set our needs and standards and take care of ourselves, because no one else will....I was alone and single for many years raising my children alone holding down jobs...my friends, both real life and net based were actually my sanity at times.

I'm just sharing, not sure I'm helping....but many challenges you face, you are not alone.

Hugs!!!

[I know what I WANT&DESERVE damn it!!!!!!!]

Trust me, we have all had our lashings, none of this is easy. I also went thru something many years ago, and I don't think I have been the same person since.

There are good people out there, I am confident someday you will find what you want

Hugs!!

[Weird way for transmission?]

the members above have already very much informed you about h and transmission, but you should go for blood work,

@ihaveittoo

He can share with you the REAL possibilities of having repeat negative swabs

Good luck

[Weird way for transmission?]

It's skin to skin contact

No worries

[How to help him understand and deal?]

How does he know he isn't already infected? A lot of people have it and don't know they do (heck I was clueless for a long time)...it's not part of the standard std testing

I'd probably get fed up with him and distance myself, give him space.

[All the symptoms but no pos tests, convinced I have herpes, worried I passed it to my 6 year old]

I haven't been able to read this whole thread but it really does sound like you are obsessing over it, like another member stated, I also have OCD which is triggered by different things, so I know it's difficult, we can tell you a thousand times what we think is going on, you still will not believe it.

Good luck, just know you are not alone.

[Why does the herpes virus take a back seat when it comes to developing a vaccine or cure?]

maybe they will find a cure, I just hope someday they do with h

 

[Had to laugh]

Find a different Doctor! Wow!

 

Every doctor I spoke to down played my h diagnosis, not sure if they were doing it not to send me into panic mode, or ignorance...I never received education, pamphlets, "have a disclosure" talk....Notta...still nothing....just "be careful " if you have an outbreak.(my obgyn)

 

They don't get it either

[Dealing with the fear? And opinion]

The fear is real, I was always worried about catching something, never realizing I was the carrier of this, they say in time it get better....I'm still waiting too

[confused...]

Just to add you are not the only one

I had what I think was my primary almost 30 years ago, and has not another sign or symptom that I was aware of until approx 6 months ago

It really is crazy and mind boggling

[Other Diseases That Are Almost "incurable"]

I have a single friend that met a man online, they talked for almost 6 months, when they met she told him she has psoriasis(can't be cured and is not contagious)....he politely said I'm sorry I'm not interested and wouldn't talk to her or see her again after that.

Pathetic

[DejaVu]

What an asshole

I would of handed him a few choice words

[Don't let anyone or any rejection keep you from what you want]

Good luck with that, I wish there was a support group close to me, I also saw someone for therapy, she wanted to start me on an antidepressant. This is not easy.

[Don't let anyone or any rejection keep you from what you want]

Do you take it slow before you disclose your status?

I really think there has to be a bond before we disclose, and even then be armed with the facts like 2 said above....i still battle disclosure issues.

[Valtrex meds...does it help?]

It's been 6 months, not any easier, thank you for the prayers, I will pray for you as well.

I can describe it, (to him) say hsv2, (not to him)that's as far as I've gotten

Good luck, please keep me posted also ;)

I'm sorry to hear you are in pain, I hope you try some of the methods the ladies onsite have suggested to help relieve that. Here's one I hope it is helpful to you, I lean towards the natural approach

http://justherpes.com/herpesremedies/natural-herpes-remedies-list-home-cures/

 

[Frozen; How do I let it gooooooooooo?]

Awww that's good...we did also spend a lot of time for almost 6 months before he flew in the first time.

Sounds like things are going well, good luck

[Keeping our kids safe from getting herpes?]

I've had hsv2 for decades, with 3 grown children, and never transmitted....

My middle son has hsv1, but got it from his girlfriend.

I've read in many places like dancer said, it's 100 percent safe,....but like you at first I was freaking out.

It will be fine

Hugs

[NPR story about Herpes Opportunity]

It is a great story and so glad he got the coverage he deserved for his work.

The ending, I have mixed feelings on...I know it's rare, but never the less can happen, if it's down played, with so much stigma, why disclose?

So maybe seeing the rare will help people come out of the closet (yep me included)

[Will I feel tired all the time?]

I am sorry, and glad you joined the site...there are some very wonderful supportive people here.

I was mis diagnosed years ago and have been living with h almost 30 years, recent ob (August)made me aware of it.

I'm with you on the denial, stigma, disclosure, all the issues you face, you are not alone. I've done a lot of reading on this site and over at Westover Clinic, it is helpful.

 

Hugs!

[Dealing with stigma]

@caj2aa thank you for sharing the articles, they were both well written.

I have trouble with disclosure, the stigma, related to my disease. If I didn't have it, and I didn't love the other person, would I continue on with them(if they had hsv2)? In all fairness my honest answer would be no. I'm new to my hsv2 diagnosis (6 months), so hopefully my thoughts will change more towards the positive....but I agree, the emotional stigma associated with this can be awful.

[Valtrex meds...does it help?]

@breathe123 unfortunatly I have not been brave enough to fully disclose...I have not been a faithful wife....I have described it, but not said it....if I see him have another ob at that point I will have to insist on treatment and testing to confirm...the doctor diagnosed his ob on visual and did not say hsv. I think back now and think it was.

[Frozen; How do I let it gooooooooooo?]

Out of curiosity, he came all the way from LA and you weren't intimate?

Just curious, I was with someone from across the country too and when he would fly in we were intimate but used protection until we went for testing, although it never dawned on me that hsv was not on the testing panel until my diagnosis.

Take your time, the bonding will be much stronger than.

Good luck