stubborn

When they say 'don't have sex when there's symptoms', what are they talking about exactly? Do they mean don't have sex when you have visible bumps/sores/whatever OR also with other symptoms, since I feel like I'm having symptoms pop up often that aren't visible bumps, just discharge, cloudy pee (tmi?) and stuff like that. I never used to get that stuff before I contracted HSV so I have nothing else to tie it to, I don't have a history of UTI's or yeast infections, so I assume it's the HSV. But I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid and taking every little thing as an outbreak. I just feel like everything's a bit messed up down there now, like there's always something wrong, constantly. Is there anybody else who feels things are constantly a tad abnormal there? And is it safe to have sex when you're experiencing those things (not visible bumps but the other things)?

If you weren't miserable/anxious about this, it would be something else. If this wasn't something you'd be afraid of facing rejection for, it'd be something else. There's always gonna be something to bring you down (if you let it), but it's better this than something else, something worse, maybe something life-threatening. There are so many people in a situation where they'd be willing to give their right arm in order to change situations with you and me, people with life threatening diseases..whether it's cancer or whatever, don't you think they'd happily have herpes instead of what they're struggling through. I'm not trying to belittle our pain because it's real to a lot of you and I know people sometimes find it annoying when somebody makes it seem like you don't have the right to be unhappy over something just because other people have it worse. I was always annoyed when people said that, not about this situation but just whatever situation I was unhappy with, knowing other people have it worse still doesn't take away my pain, and I get that..But seriously, after watching 50/50 (that joseph gordon levitt movie) I just thought, "damn, I'm lucky, I'm alive, I don't have something that I have NO control of, I don't have something that can really harm me, that character in the movie would've probably happily traded situations with me" this is what I posted on my tumblr: (Just watched 50/50 and damn, first of all.. fucking loved it! but it made me feel so I-don’t-give-a-fuck regarding my HPV and herpes, like wtf..it’s only a big deal if you choose to make it a big deal, it doesn’t have to be a big deal, now cancer is a big deal..I was having a breakdown over not having control over my body, well a lot of people actually don’t have any control over their bodies..some people have life-threatening illnesses, this is just an irritant. Like what the fuck, if I let this stop me from enjoying my life..I’m a fool. :P I’mma listen to awesome music, be around awesome people, have fucking awesome hot rough passionate sex, eat awesome food, shit’s gonna be good..cus I’m gonna decide for it to be. Gonna enjoy this life.) But seriously if something worse were to come up in your life, herpes would go in the backseat, you'd most likely ignore it, another pain would be in the spotlight, so there's always gonna be something..be relieved that this is the worst thing in your life (if it is). People fear rejection about a lot of things, people who have been abused might worry that if a person they're dating knew that they wouldn't want to be with them anymore, people who have self-harmed/do self-harm might worry that if the person they're dating knew about it that they wouldn't want to be with them anymore, let's say those people is your friend and your friend came up to you and told you that someone she was dating had rejected her for that..you'd tell her he was a jerk, would you not? and it'd be true and you'd tell her she was better off without that person and that she's lucky she saw his true colors before anything more happen and you'd be right in that. People always have a fear of rejection regarding something, our reason isn't any worse than others. The risk isn't that high and when you have the facts and you're calm and confident about the fact that this doesn't change your life (which is a fact, it's a choice whether or not you let it change things in a way that you're not comfortable with) and if the person you're having sex with would get herpes, it's not that horrible, we're all living it, I want to set an example for the person that I'm going to have sex with that this isn't a big deal, this doesn't change me, this doesn't change my life for the worse, the only thing it changes is that you have to be honest and practice safe sex (which you should be anyway if it wasn't for this) Damn, sorry for babbling.

I have no idea. Awesome if it is. But what about those with genital HSV1 not HSV2 D:

Oh but thanks a lot for answering, really appreciate it and the links definitely helped :) sorry for being snarky!

So if I were to cuddle after sex naked, what, would I give him herpes on his thigh? It just seems too unlikely to even worry about.. I don't want to go overboard with paranoia even though I want to be safe of course. It's just that if it was quite likely I'd think the doctor would've told me about it and that she would've told me more than just 'this isn't the end of the world, don't let this break you' and 'don't have sex when you have symptoms and always wear a condom' and 'after hpv genital wart treatment wait at least 10 days before you have sex so that the sore after the burning/poison heals'. Maybe I'm just being naive, but yeah..

Hi. I'm 16 years old and I contracted genital HSV1 (and HPV genital warts) in november, I just found out I had it in january though. I still feel like I have very few answers, I don't remember getting a lot of information at the doctor's, I remember her saying that the HSV1 would not be transmitted if I avoid having sex when there's an outbreak and if I always wear a condom (or maybe it was the HPV, I really don't remember) but I've found information online that say differently so I really don't know what to believe. I just hate not knowing. And I don't even know the difference between genital HSV1 and genital HSV2. Why is it so hard to find facts about this? I don't get it. How have I had this for over two months, gone to the gyno plenty of times, and not know what the chances in percentages are of me transmitting HPV genital warts and genital HSV1 when using a condom and when there are no visible symptoms? And when it comes to sex I really don't know what I can and can't do anymore. I had this for over a month without knowing and I had a very good sex life in that time, but now that I know I have this I feel like I won't be able to have normal sex anymore, like I'll always have to keep a hand sanitizer on my night stand in case the guy touches me down there without latex gloves. I know I won't be able to have sex when there are symptoms and that I'll always have to wear a condom, but then there are little things that I just have no idea if I will be able to do or not..Will I still be able to get fingered? Will I still be able to cuddle with the guy afterwards naked with my vag touching his thigh? Or will he immediately have to go to the bathroom and vigorously clean and scrub himself while I put my underpants back on. I haven't had sex after I found out I had this and I really don't know what to expect and what I can and can't do. And about the whole daily suppressants thing, I wasn't planning on doing that, but will I have to if I ever want to have sex again? It's just something I'm not that willing to do, I'm only 16, I don't know if I can make a commitment like that and I don't know, I can't really explain why I don't want to do that..but I just don't

Aw that's so great (and hearing that makes me more positive about things and for when the time comes to tell someone) really lovely :)

Yeah, my mother and therapist have both told me that I don't have to tell my partners as long as I'm safe and always use condoms and I don't have sex when I have symptoms. Which feels good to hear since then you're reassured that this isn't THAT big of a deal and that your life doesn't have to revolve around a virus (and those things are true, it isn't and it doesn't) but even though that feels good to hear..I'd prefer to tell my future sexual partners before we have sex, since it seems like a big weight off your shoulders, like being able to be honest with your partners and if it's in a relationship it'd make things easier if the person knows, since when you're having symptoms you could still do other things to please each other without having sex and if you hadn't told your partner it'd be more suspicious if you'd try to do something like that, sneaking around is never fun. I'm probably not the person to give advice on this though since I haven't had sex since I found out (in the beginning of January) or "disclosed" this to anyone. And also if the unlikely thing would happen that you'd transmit this to your partner despite of being super safe, it'd be even harder to deal with since either you'd have to tell your partner you knew you had this or a web of lies would collect on top of this. Putting the "let your partner make an informed decision" aside, telling your sexual partner just seems easier for you, not telling just seems more stressful and probably makes you feel a bit alone.