SunDevourer

Finally got around to watching the Ted talk video. It was great!!

From what I know... I think it can increase transmition by having open sores, or being more prone to it. I was curious about this myself. I don't think having herpes just increases the risk by magnetism or something. Have you heard of prep?

Mmmm... Bad relationship. Firstly you should start loving yourself. I understand it can take time for these things, but isolating yourself isn't an improvement for you or your situation. Second, stop giving these other women the problems of this... Girl you encountered. Don't project your anger on to them. They don't deserve that. What she did to you isn't their issue, but you're making it theirs by not giving them a chance. Fear can kill our opportunities. But she's winning in her wickedness. Clear out that negative energy and funk. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. What hurts is opening yourself up and having someone betray you like that. Herpes doesn't seem to be the issue. The relationship you had with her is the problem. A fine looking egg that got cracked to see that it was rotten on the inside. You also have to learn to let things go. I think you're holding on to something that no longer serves you, which could be your identity of yourself (what you thought of yourself and how you think of yourself now.) And if having hsv2 is the problem. Don't allow the opinions of others to become your reality.

I LoVE quotes and Ralph W.E I also love the "shit" analogy. Because flowers really do grown from shit. Anything can grow from it. Kind of like only when we are at our lowest can we realize what greatness we can amount to.ive made my own mix of " when life hands you lemons" instead of grabbing the tequila and salt( which I love). Why not throw them back at life!!!! Lolololololol ψ(｀∇´)ψ Better yet, why not take the seeds from the lemon and grow yourself a lemon tree?

Awe! I appreciate that you all have enjoyed this!

Not sure why the video is having issues for Adam ruins everything

Some videos I've come across that are enjoyable. They say knowledges is power... But in all honesty we can learn a lot and still not be comfortable with the facts. (Not sure if everyone has seen these all ready. ) So, if anything it's within ourselves, if the information isn't enough. "When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves" -Victor Frankl - Ella Dawson. Found this one a bit inspiring just to listen to. http://youtu.be/aU4VcOQzQm0- Adam ruins everything. Nice and informative.

The thing is... Where does my herpes story begin? Based on the information that I've been reading. I could have had this for a while. its so masked that it's frustrating to identify. I did get a tingling feeling in my rectum years ago, but no one showed up at my door. Who would have thought that could have been herpes related?Now I get paranoid the way one does when they wipe a bug off themselves and then start to feel like bugs might be all over them. What's this itch? Oh that could be herpes Oh I have a pimple! No no, that could be herpes I sneezed... Shit is that herpes too? I was dating a guy for awhile,but things didn't work out. We remained friends and friends with benefits. Things were fine. Was I happy? Not entirely. Even though we remaind friends I wanted something more. I've always wanted to be in a strong and loving relationship. Don't get me wrong. I didn't want this with him. But hey, there was sex on the side with someone I knew and trusted. Who has sex for pleasure, right? Things were looking good for me. I had just passed my exam to become a lisenced massage therapist after a year of procrastinating and being out of school. Landed my first job for massage on the first try a month ago. It was exciting. Then I got sick for a good 2 weeks and I'm already paranoid so being sick that long bothered me. Thought the culprit was my two year old nephew. At least for the sore throat. I did have sex with two other males prior to this. Pertecteded,but that doesn't matter in this case. I loved four play. Engaging in entercorse wasn't something I did often, but to be sensual and feeling your body's touch. Your skin and genitals singing from the excitement. Something like herpes would be hard to avoid. And so I had lost myself a bit. Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）Trying to figure out what went wrong. Where did I go wrong. If I missed the signs from the universe warning me. Was this karma for something I've done and don't know about because I'm a good person. It's already a struggle in this world to really learn and know how to love yourself unconditionally. To believe that you are worthy of love and worth loving when you can't do it every now and then for yourself. How can I love myself when it's hard to find someone to love me. And that's were we go wrong. To believe that we needs someone's else's validation to approve of ourselves. I think that's what really gets us. How to love ourselves. Because we think it's buying something we deserve shows love to ourselves. Spending time alone. Eating something that is seen as "good" or "bad" from the general population by throwing those cards out and not just giving a fuck. It's all just self indulging. There's no much more to actually loving yourself. 。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。 And that's just it. The reality of things. The bitter sweet experiences of being an Adult. Congratulations on being an adult. *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･* Making choices- Alanis Moressette plays in the back ground- if it wasn't for life and it's experiences. The ups and downs there would be no jagged little pull cd. Your ex is married. Your friends are engaged(some or most) You're single and now have herpes wondering if you should have settled for those people in your past that wanted to date you, but you just didn't feel the connection. We grow old, friends marry, you get married, divorce happens, cancer happens. will have to burry our parents, siblings, friends. People get cancer, MS. Someone wins the lottery.Shit really does happen, but that's the beauty we don't recognize in life when it comes to the human experience Well that's my story. I guess. 4/11/2016... I guess I could remember the date and how long it's been, but I don't quite care to. It's not my death sentence. Convince myself things were normal before this. But nothing was normal. It just is. I haven't changed. Maybe a little withdrawn from sex at the moment because gay men can be dirty. I mean men are least likely to go to the doctors for a problem. Some could be carrying more diseases than the CDC has on file.Trust no one... Lol （＾∇＾） maybe my attitude is just a little sour. "Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." -Charles Bukowski "I could stop and live carefully but that's ridiculous. I don't want to live carefully." -Joan Rivers "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any groups in Colorado? （^人^）

So, wasn't quite sure what to label this under. I considered myself to be pretty informed when it came to STDs or STIs, I think that's the new way of saying it. I realized being a gay man and as amped up and sexually crazed gay men can be. In the gay community there is a BIG emphasis on HIV prevention. You see it everywhere. But nothing really educational about the other forms of STIs. Just slap on the bad piece of a love glove and smell the rubber burn. When I was told I had hsv2... I was almost confused on what they meant and what that meant for me. Because I did know that the cold sores people get are because of herpes. I vague knew that it could be transmitted orally to genitals, but I guess I didn't give it to much thought ( that and I am a 100% air head. Part of the space cadet club.) I am wondering if there is less of a concern for it via HIV status or HPV. I know theirs still stigmas attached to it, but really there are stigmas for just about everything. Even those positive stereotypes for good people and how they couldn't be this or that way. (You all know what it means to assume,yes?) One friend of mine said he wasn't concerned about HIV and worried more about herpes. And not to compare misery, but I think he was misinformed on the complications of what herpes is compared to HIV So what exactly is herpes? Cause it seems like it's not limited to those cluster of blusters that you can google and actually seems like it can be less than that or far from it. And as far as stigmas for HIV being number one and herpes being number 2 anyone know why only HIV is more advertised? Is it because herpes is a common and easily treatable? Ok ok. I can be a bit of a chatty Kathy.i tried to stay on one topic. Anyway,

Just what I needed to read. I am, or was in the same situation in regards to testing. I was told that I tested reactive for hsv2,but they had also said ( in what ever culture test they did) that I was showing reactive for syphillis first! Before they said it was herpes. I had a lesion( and anything that breaks the skins surface is a lesion. It's broadly used) and initially the nurse said it could be two different things. I got the penicillin shot and pills incase my systems didn't clear up. Well... After the penicillin shot everything cleared up nicely. Which wouldn't have been the case if the lesion was herpes related, but they did say I had hsv2... And it turned out I did have syphillis.！(◎_◎;) I mean that was nice to know that I didn't have syphillis because I was feeling like trash and a thirsty thot if anything. And that's exactly what the miss informed would want you to believe. That you're trash. After all the reading I've done ( yes the Internet is dangerous Because I almost thought I had MS and I certainly thought I had lupus for a weekend.) I digress, I've learned that H really isn't the issue. It's only as big of an issue as we want it to be. Like feeding your problems so that they get bigger and worse. Anyway. I would like to get tested again just to easy my mind. Because (to make a long story short) the clinic I went to didn't quite have their things together because they got a new systems and no one really knew how it worked and if that lesion was my one and only outbreak. I won't feel relaxed knowing thing cleared up after the penicillin shot. I left with so many unanswered questions. Yes, they did say that it's very common, but they kind of just wrote me off like its no big deal and kept on asking if I was interested in prep like some up sell. I don't want to be that person convincing themselves that they are ok when they are not. Even with just one out break and to think I'm ok and lie to myself about it. I couldn't live with myself. That and since there is no way of telling how long I may have had it. I could have had this for a couple of years and it's best just to know and be informed instead of living in ignorance. Ok... I'm done. Hope I made since.

We don't lose great people to H( mind you I was just told a week ago that I have hsv2.) I do, however, have many many of friends who are HIV positive, so I know enough that you don't lose great people to H. You lose great people to cancer, car accidents, AIDS, drunk drivers, gun shootings, police brutality. But you do not lose out on a person who couldn't deal with what you are or have because your love wouldn't have been good enough. No no no And not to say that death is the only way you lose out on a great person. Sometimes we can lose out on great people just by not being connected. Communicating and lose out on friendships. I'd say fuck to #4. Granted you can't blame him for his ignorance. Moving out of your comfort zone and changing ones frame of mind can be frightening. We do have this ide of purity before reality knocks on the door( more like kicks it down) to remind us that we aren't all as perfect as we want to be. Some people are comfortable with assuming that someone doesn't have an std or something because they can't face the reality of things.