SunDevourer

Love that last part. " nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy."

It's really the ignorance of our society. Can't be outwardly spoken about things because of how it might make others uncomfortable. These stigmas and stereotypes go for a lot of things and herpes is a good example. Say this and not that. Men who sleep around are players, but girls that do are sluts. Black females are aggressive and dominate, Asian females are submissive and soft spoken. Which just goes into misogyny. Not trying to get off topic. I think we need to stop calling it a risk to sleep with someone who has it in the genital area.. People do not put on lip protection when kissing someone who has herpes orally. Granted their knowledge of it may be limited and think it's just a cold sore, or if they do know and have little issues with it. We're not going to stop kissing our partners. And I'll be dam if I have to use a condom for the whole spand of my relationship. Not with this good good!

And people do think that cold sores and fever blisters are just that. Same with chicken pox and shingles.

It is odd because no one calls it a risk if you kiss someone who has it orally and a good a Chunk of the population has it. Only in America,lol. A joke my Italian friends would say. If you know someone has it orally. You still want to kiss them. There's no "risk" you just don't want to look at their face when their lip looks busted. It all has to stem around how our society views sex. No one thinks about getting herpes orally from sleeping around... Cause it can happen.

But there are definitely different opinions about disclosing. Some feel the need to, others don't. It's not illegal. And one joke is " I'm not gonna tell you I have herpes unless I'm having an outbreak."

I think it falls under the sex shaming. Anything in our society that has to do with genitals, or naked bodies is a bit taboo. That and a lot of people don't know about herpes. They may be familiar with the word, but think cold sores or fever blisters are just from having a cold. When I talked about it with a couple of my friends. One has herpes orally. He said his was genetics....... So much he doesn't know. People really don't know. Hsv1 probably isn't an issue because people see it. Can't hide it. We get used to seeing it.what I think isn't fair is how dumb people are.

being "infected" doesn't always cause an outbreak. So we can have it with no symptoms and something in our lives like stress could cause it to pop out. Like pop goes the weasel. Some do and some don't have symptoms.thing about flus. When you feel the symptoms your body has just faught it off and getting rid of it after the fact. Itching can be normal. Just don't go rubbing your eyes. As for the diarrhea. How were your eating habits when this all had happened? Diarrhea is a sign of your body fighting off an infection, or bad eating/ indigestion and yes medications

don't worry about kissing your children. Kiss them. Love them. This shouldn't stop you from loving anyone. But if you're scratching yourself down in the treasure box. Yes, please wash your hands. Or if your licking your fingers after eating something delicious. It's hygiene In reality if your children didn't get it from you they'll get it from someone else, or their father.They could even have it and not know. Herpes is so popular. But it's Nothing to be afraid of. The fear of herpes is the only fear,really. Remember that thing kids would say about he or she having the Koodies!!! Well I think that's referring to herpes... Or maybe Mono

Yea know. I used honey on a spot,but whether it was a pimple or herpes I don't know. But honey is good none the less.

Now... When you engage in sexual activities that are penetrative. What kind of lubricants did you use or did you use any? Spit can only cover so much and some people have that juicy fruit where it seems like you have your own self lubrication. I like water based lubricants. I love the cooling ones. Another thing I'll add, guys don't really know what they're doing. They just want to probe you and go jack hammer style because that's what they've seen on porn.

.... Lololol. Oh goodness

There's a great video on here in the motivation/ inspiration category Seek that out at look for the video on shaming. If you feel the need to apologize do it. Perhaps you feel this way from guilt of feeling dishonest? I can't say. Try" I need to be open with you- don't say honest- I haven't completely revealed parts of myself to you because I've been afraid. And in no way have I jeopardize you( I think maybe that works cause it might douse the fear a bit.) I take it he got tested shortly after you?

Mmmm, not to play devils advocate( which I'm certainly known for among friends) If you had this for 11 years and it has been 3 months dealing with this guy. I too would be nervous because that's sounds like 11 years of not accepting myself.but you want him to accept you so easily.thats 11 years of growth that could have happened. Now he may be fine with it, which is a big dose of fresh air, but does that change if you end up being in a relationship? Change as in how you see yourself. Maybe. My advice. Just tell him. Don't mention the details of how you got it, unless he wants to know. This is only a little part of you. It's not who you are. You are not herpes. I think telling him you got it from an ex who cheated is just a safe guard that plays into the stigma of it. Meaning oh in you're case it's fine and people should have empathy in some way that makes it ok. As for the rest they are slut shamed. That's my advice. If he knows you are a good person and you've shown him that you are. You should embody that light of self love and acceptance. Shine so bright you'll blind him and he won't see you as a girl with herpes, but a beautiful being. You will have to make yourself vulnerable.

I think that's were a big portion of the controversy of it all is. If it's really just a minor skin problems and the majority have it orally and aren't disclosing that only if it's in the genital area... Maybe it is because of sex shaming and misogyny. And with healthcare being so lose about the presence of it what, what is it we are teaching people? That's what I'm wondering When I was diagnosed all they said was to take a pill if I have a breakout. No information on counseling or what to do after. It was really dismissed and they just said its common. Like it was the least of their concerns. The state - depending on the growing concern at the time- I know has contacted friends for syphillis or ghonna,but never for herpes. So it's definitely treated differently But suffering. I can agree. Everyone handles things differently. Because it felt like everyone just tossed it aside for me it was confusing. Even though they treated it as no big deal it was still my own problem that I didn't know what to do with. I do have a big influence of Buddhism in me and their perspective would say my suffering isn't real. Or ask what is suffering, but a false imagination of the self. Because you aren't who you think you are. It gets deep. I think I felt a bit insane after the corse for a couple of semesters.

I honestly don't think there is any suffering to this. The suffering comes from wanting to be or holding on to an idea of what we think is right and can't let go of a past that is no longer us. No ones perfect and this concept isn't grasped until something tosses you out of the tower. Have to asked yourself what is it you are scared of when you heard about this and then ask yourself what you actually know about this. Then question what is real about it. Fear kills opportunity. Thig is there's only so much we can say and so much someone can read to get comfortable... When really it's up to us to make that difference. I think a big part of it has to do with how others will react to you. That's the fear. And not to say that someone else's misfortune is greater than your own. It's more like pointing out the water isnt as deep as you think, so there's no since in trying to drown in shallow waters. Big hugs and laughs. The sun has not stop shining for you, but in the moment of darkness. No road traveled is as dark as ones eyes shut.

You just keep on going. "You don't have to have everything figured out inorder to move forward"

Did you know that 90% of cats have feline herpes. Yep.

The clinic I went to they don't have blood testing. Said it's too expensive and that if I wanted that done id have to go to a private doctor or something. Which is interesting because of you have a mild outbreak how will you ever know if you don't... Know. And since the blood test can be false... And there's only one acurate test for it in Washington... Doesn't seem like they'll be doing it any time soon. If anything a better education system is what's needed

I also know a girl, not personally, but she's my cousins friend. One day she just said she had herpes. My cousins had to correct her and say you have herpes or you don't have herpes. She stated she's only had one break out and hasn't told anyone. She's also having sex with a guy who told her that she has herpes, but she hasn't told him about her status. She doesn't want him to know. I wonder at times if I would have been better off not knowing- ignorance is bliss- But if someone other than myself can do it and disclose I don't see why I can't either. All I can think that of is by me not knowing meant I could have unprotected sex with others that we both think we are in the clear. And no that's not what I was doing. Avoiding those nasty fluids was a must, but as skin to skin contact goes. I was all for four play and just lying on top of eachother rubbing body's, or engaging in non penetration where they just rub it between the golden mounds of my bootycheeks.

Woah so interesting. I was actually thinking back, trying to do that detective work. 3 years ago a guy asked me if I had herpes- he was cool about it- but I said no that it was an ingrown hair that I've gotten before. I think I remember poping it too cause he said it looked like herpes and he's seen it before. Then I remembered way back to when I was 17 and had a boyfriend. I remember telling him that he should get tested cause it looked like something down there. He said he would, but he never really said what it was. Just that he had tiny red bumps on the head of his penis. I never really asked about it because he said everything was fine and the doctor said it would clear up. Soooo there's definitely no telling. I also remember around one time I thought I had warts. I think this was shortly after my first bf. I was soooo paranoid I asked my mother to take a look and she said it was a pimple. Which had me wondering because what ever it was, it was painless and I also ready that herpes isn't always painful. I did get an itchy but from time to time. Normal in some cases. Although Ive had a tingling sensation in my rectum for quite awhile and I've read plenty of descriptions about there being a tingly feeling. Really though the education around herpes and having it is lacking. I knew about hsv1 but not so much about Hsv2. And in the gay community it's all about HIV/std. So much more focus on HIV than anything else that was the main focus. Really herpes is rarely talked about.

I'm not sure I'm dealing with this as easily as I thought. I'm having mood swings with it. One day I'm completely fine and then the next day, sometimes in the next hour, I'm disgruntled. It seriously isn't what herpes is. The stigma is what's annoying yes,but there's stigmas for everything. I've told close friends and relatives. I haven't said anything to my parents. I don't think it matters for them to know and as my older brother told me" Man, I thought this was a need to sit down talk,but that's all you had to say?" I even told one of my past booty calls. He Said sorry, they have pills for that and when I get my situation taken care of let him know and we can still play. Which was nice to hear cause he's got a Big O magic wand... And that just makes me sound thirsty. Thing is...were those, or was that, sucssesful disclosures? I don't think telling someone about my herpes and it ending up in rejection is a failure, or a success if it doesn't bother them. I don't need for someone to accept this about me inorder for it to be a success; I don't need their approval to feel better about myself. I think the real success is me being able to speak about it without any concern or shame of what the other persons opinion might be. what I want is unconditional love for myself. And part of that is changing the language around disclosing to someone and allowing them to have their choice. I am not a risk. I repeat. I am not a risk. I am a human being with a insignificant condition that's not even as near as threatening than the common flu. I don't like to think that disclosing to someone so they can have a choice to be with me or not is some fucking handicap.or informing them so they know the risks they are taking. Again I'm not a risk.Granted,yes, we want to tell people,but I want to speak of it as some side note and not some cautionary sign to my being. Not all of society may be there,but I'm not going to wait for them to get there. I will have to be that change. Starting with the man in the mirror. I'll handle my shit. I've heard from many other people( before my diagnoses) that they have friends who are married with herpes. or someone would mention about a person they frequently have sex with and that they have herpes. There was never any talk of shame, but excitement. They were people they enjoyed having sex with and spending time with ,oh side note, and they have herpes. I am not a risk. The only risks out there is being vulnerable. Don't think of what would you do if you could not fail. Rather think of it as what would you do if you allowed yourself to be vulnerable. It's no easy task. It's what I'm working on and probably why I'm having these mood swings. A risk would be having unprotected sex with someone who doesn't know if they are HIV positive and has never been tested. And yes someone people may say that they are hsv negative or use uneducated words like "clean." But people lie out there because of their own fear and shame. I don't want to be that person. But it's completely different from someone who doesn't reveal their HIV status. I digress... “I could stop and live carefully but that's ridiculous. I don't want to live carefully.” Joan Rivers I like this quote because she's talking about living life and not in fear. She's not meaning to be reckless. Use common sense, if you know what that is... Cause education is sorely lacking. Well I can't remember all I wanted to say so that's about it.... I'm sleepy

This isn't siatic nerve pain?

It was a culture test. If it was my first outbreak... It was nothing like the Google pictures. And from what I've been reading can't completely trust those pictures because that isn't the case for everyone. I had a dream once that I had an outbreak and it reached all across my back and body and I could feel it burn... Nightmare really. Lol.

Mmmm the thing is if you knew what you know now and someone approached you and told you that they have herpes... Would you still say no? Granted it is your choice but does that say you're still struggling with the stigma of it? How we talk to anyone about anything can really matter about how we say it. Like my being gay. I always advise to never come out in a fight. No no no. Totally agree with Happy Hippo on this. I think one of my "booty calls" hearing through the grape vine had herpes, but whether this was true or not. I dunno. It didn't brother me. I don't even know if he was the person my friend had said had herpes in the past. But we definitely had a bunch of unprecedented sex and never talked about our sexual activities with others. I don't recommend that.

So, this has been a burning question in the back of my mind. And the clinic I went to did a poor job with answering questions. When I was tested for herpes because of a suspicious pimple on my mound full booty cheek and conveying about some rectal pain. The clinic said it was syphillis, but also tested it for herpes because it might be two different things. - they also thought it was latent syphillis ∑(ﾟДﾟ)- the doctor was convinced all would clear up with the penicillin, but I was also given pills incase that didn't help because of it might being herpes related.( this was also strange because the information they gave me about syphillis if it was in latent stages you'd need more than just a bunch of dosage of penicillin shots to take care of it.) Now, once I got the penicillin shot EVeRYTHing cleared right up. I mean even my spirit was lifted. But the nurse clarified that my result did come Back positive for herpes, but the syphillis test was actually negative and thought it was strange how things cleared up with the penicillin shot because there's no relation to it. I'm curious on how... Well I know everyone's body is different. My body I know is quite good at fighting infections as I'd rarely get sick. At least once a year for 2 days. And when I had gotten an std years before this event I could feel something was going on because we have this alliance and speak to eachother. I guess my question is how something for bacterial infections could affect something viral. Or maybe it's just how my body is because I know I'm strange.