JeffH

I agree. You should tell him. Would you even have posed the question if you didn't know what the answer is? You are right that the chance it passed is really low, so when he tests negative 16 weeks from now you'll be relieved you did the right thing. Don't slip up again.

I'm really scared of passing it on. I don't mean to say that others should feel bad if they remain active. As long as you're open and you disclose, you're ok. But it's not something I'd be comfortable with. Part of it is that in your first couple years you are more likely to pass t and I'm also a male, meaning I'm twice as likely to pass it

So I'm also one of those super unlucky people who has both. Back in my pre hsv2 life (those were the days!) I would only bother disclosing hsv1 if oral were a possibility. My thought was that oral hsv1 is no issue because literally most people have it, and it may even be a good thing because it protects you from genital hsv1. Of course, id never kiss anyone in the rare times when I had a cold sore. As for other stds, you have to remember that there is no male test for hpv, so that's not a possibility. I don't think it's weird to ask for the rest of them, because you're going to have to have some extremely honest conversations about your own background anyway. That said, you should disclose your condition BEFORE you ask for their tests, to initiate that honest process. At least that's my opinion, I've taken myself out of the dating game since my hsv2 diagnosis so I've never been in this position.

If you need to pay for it yourself outside of insurance, do it

If you have a .93 especially with no symptoms then it is actually considerably more likely than not you are negative. Absolutely retest.

Yes, you can definitely have tingling without an outbreak. You are possibly contagious at any time even without an outbreak. As hiking girl said, if your number really was 5.3, you have it. If you'd like to get retested you can but with numbers that high it's pretty much settled. Try to get the output if you can.

These are the symptoms of herpes, and yes, there are a lot of false negatives with the swab test. However, that doesn't mean you have it. You need to wait a couple months for an igg blood test to determine if you have herpes. In the meantime I recommend abstaining from sex until you know you are safe.

im the biggest advocate of disclosing, but there are quite a few reasons why you can calm down. 1) I assume you have both hsv1 and 2 in the normal place. The chance he contracts 2 from performing oral on you is pretty much 0. The chance you gave him genital 1 from oral is REALLY low if you didn't have a cold sore 2) I'm guessing you're at least 40 and probably older than that based on above. The chance he already has hsv1 is like 75% or something like that. I don't know the exact number but it is real high. 3) sounds like he doesn't have any symptoms, right?? 4) someone who is sleeping around while he's still married has other things to worry about. I know that's a personal judgment but it counts for something. All in all, the chance you gave him anything is REALLY REALLY LOW.

What is your reasoning for not accepting his money?

I'd like to add a couple more pertinent questions. If they did not disclose, did they admit after? Are you close to the person? I have not forgiven my giver (happened in October). I am not sure if she knew because she hasn't admitted it. I think she did know, though. I'd like to forgive her but I am having trouble with it. It's also more difficult because I don't see her. She's someone I only know a little, it's not like we run into each other. I don't hate her though, or hold ill will.

1) almost definitely no. 2) really high 3) absolutely not

If your negative igg was just a couple weeks after your exposure then you would not have built the antibodies for the test to uncover. Additionally the igg test is embarrassingly bad at picking up hsv1 antibodies. If you truly did have a positive hsv1 swab and there was no mixup, you have hsv1. The test sensitivity (says it's positive and it actually is) is 100%

He could but if his igg tests are negative he probably doesn't. Hsv1 genital doesn't shed often. It's very possible, if not likely, that you haven't passed it to him

I'm sorry to hear of your experience, that's truly horrific. Good to hear your baby is safe. A positive swab test is definitive. If that said positive for hsv1 you have hsv1. Swab tests, especially after the first outbreak, have many false negatives because there isn't enough material anymore to come back positive. I am not familiar with igm pcr, but igm tests are only useful in determining primary herpes infections. Otherwise it's fairly useless. Perhaps igm and igm pcr are the same thing. If you've also come back negative on igg, that is because the igg has a false negative rate of almost 30% for hsv1.

Alcohol is likely to contribute to longer and worse outbreaks because it weakens your immune system. It's up to you.

Sorry to hear about your tough first outbreak that really sucks. HSV 2 varies so much person to person. I'm 7.5 months in now. My original ob had about 12 sores and lasted about 3 weeks. It was itchy, especially the first few days, but never painful. Since then, I've had two mini outbreaks ( 1-2 sores), and one more full outbreak (maybe 7 sores). The second full one was a month ago and again lasted 3 weeks. As for AVs, I agree, ask your doctor for a large supply so you can have them on hand. They aren't addictive pain meds so he or she shouldn't have a problem giving you access. I only use them during obs (that's common), but if you plan to be active in the dating scene with negative people you will need them daily. Your doctor is definiey right that future outbreaks will be smaller, but 1-2 sores is optimistic, especially given that you're having a bad first ob (people with rough obs tend to have worse ones in the future than those with almost unnoticeable primary obs). Still, remember you're going through the absolute worst of it now, and it WILL get better. And that applies to the mental side as well as the physical side.

Sorry my bad hikinggirl is correct it's about 70% at 6 weeks not 50

Somewhere around 80-90% of people would have turned positive by that time. Looks like you're good. Maybe retest at 16 weeks to be sure. The median is arojnd 6 weeks.

Wow your story is rough. What an awful person to completely ignore you after giving you H. When I read this I chuckled a bit, because my mom is a NP of gynecology. It really can affect anyone I guess. She's given me a lot of good advice, but I'm guessing this guy hasn't spoken to his dad about his condition since he's going around spreading it

That's great to hear!!! Did they igm test your baby? It's a reliable test for newborns. If that was negative your baby is safe

Hi Joan, Thanks for coming on here, it really says a lot about how much you care to sign up for and post on this website. Thought I'd throw in my experience here, since it is remarkably similar to your daughter's. I got this late last year at 26. Like your daughter I have a limited history and a good career with a bright future, great friends, and a family that cared a lot for me. What helped me get through the first six months was keeping those things in mind. I've relied on my friends a lot, put more effort into work, kept in touch with my family (who also live across the country!). Focusing on the positives have helped - there's still a lot to live for and plenty to enjoy in life. With time she'll see that too. As for dating, that's person to person and there are a variety of valid responses. Personally I have completely stopped dating and I'm not sure I ever will again. I'm not afraid of disclosure or rejection at all, and I'm aware that there's people who'd still date me. Thing is I'm absolutely terrified of passing it to someone else, and that's why I don't know if I will date again. This is the thing that's caused friction between my parents and I. In my moms own words I need to "get over it." I know she's right, but I'm also so scared of passing it on. Just remember in terms of dating there's no clear right answer. I respect people on this site that still date, that's great for them and I support them. It's just not where I'm at now, and that's ok too.

If you're getting induced tomorrow you need to speak to the obstetrician today. He or she will know the risks. Maybe bring your swab results and blood results to show this is a recent infection. Your baby cannot contract the disease through a c section.

This is the one case where genital herpes is indeed dangerous, potentially even deadly. You need to speak to an obstetrician immediately, you need to have a c section birth. Do not delay. Source: http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/herpes/herpes-and-pregnancy/

That really sucks that your doctor misled you like that. It's actually insane. Anyone in the field should know that most infections are spread when you're not showing symptoms. While this is really crushing and I hope you can pull through this, make sure to be there for this guy. Maybe this will pull you two closer. If he were to get an igg test today, you could know if his infection were from you. If he comes back negative on igg, then he just got it. If it's positive then it's not from you. But for this to work you'd need him to take the test very soon. Regardless of whether he should get an igg, he should get a swab test. If it comes up positive he has hsv (obviously) and if it's negative then this MAY all be a coincidence and it could be something else. Again, sorry this happened to you, but at least you're trying to make it right unlike the person who gave it to you

I'm sorry you're in this position. It sucks, both physically and emotionally. There are of course false negatives, but it is almost impossible after 6 months. Given that you're also experiencing severe symptoms, yes, you can conclusively say you were recently infected.